Launching 4 in 2009

     11 years ago, and that is a long time as I was 13/14 at that time in 2009-I really made the effort to change my life. One way of changing things was to start to write down all my ideas for comics and all of them.  I mean that I really went the distance to write things. I wrote on the weekends, during the week but behind closed and locked doors (yes, this alone shows how dire your circumstance was to even live who you wanted) and if not just trying to make use of time alone on the bus or just one the bus drawing various things. Oh, I really struggled to write many things. In this alone, however I did achieve part of Launching 4. Technically I would not be finished with the work and many others until the summer 2010 but namely folks, it was worth it.

     I mean to say that highschool and 9th grade was a shit system that always tried to put you down and say your were shit. I mean there was really no place of comfort for me in my youth in school at all, even art was just a bad malicious routine which syphoned my real hopes and endeavors. Math especially was one of the worst subjects and really enough just felt placed down and in a hard corner of anything. Everyday was very trying if I am to be honest. But I simply am to say that I wasted no time writing down Launching 4. I could be here all day talking about the adventures of my youth but I won't dare to do it, it would obscure the current topic of Launching 4.

    No one put any great belief behind me and my endeavors and really if your parents knew they wanted to do their best and I mean their best to stop you from reaching your goal and namely would seek to punish you if your grades were low. Let's be honest here, that is not easy living and yes I hold a grudge. It would not be just not to hold one. How much loop holes in surveillance one had to exercise was just terrible. Never had any friends really and every problem you just went alone and I mean that sincerely. People just being stand ins that meant really nothing to contribute anything good to your story. I mean to say that you must doubt people who express how much you need them that it is abusive just because you want to be you! Like truly where the fuck was the support in anyone or anyone in the community? No where. I am to say certain people don't want to imagine what they could do and what they could even reach or what morally good things they could do. Some people are just incapable of being anything but evil cowards.

     Truly I had to fight up a fucking mountain to get where I wanted to be and frankly I would have to do that so many times in the future. Trusting no one to give you any success or even be helpful. I mean to say that maybe when I went to college I envisioned people would be helpful since they weren't from my region but people just were even more incapable than people of my region and some people would not leave you the fuck alone.  The curse words are not liberties folks, they are necessities because I need to explain to you how fucked up things were. Many things were but I am to say that would be a story for another time. 

     So basically to even complete Launching 4, I had to continually practice math, hinder myself from creating as much as I wanted to, be repressed, see other sad people and just people have these existences called, "teenage lives". Don't even get me started on the whole romantic equation of that time as it was horrid and I was too afraid because of how discriminatory people were to my works and to me already-I really could not see myself with anyone even if I liked them. It was hell. And I mean this for the current and past me, it was hell. Pure and pure and really much fuck the education system. I mean this might have been the sole time I actually learned anything from a math teacher but honestly who needs so dumb sex ed class where they basically skip through everything that is important.  I am to clarify that I only passed that math class because I practiced to get a good grade and better my standing in things.

     The thing is folks, I would never ever wish to go back to 9th grade at all.  If you thought things were bad for the romantic anything, oh, it was bad then. Just so bad man. You could not speak because you were afraid people would be detractors to your goals and basic enemies that would cause you troubles. This is the paranoia I grew up with and saw in anyone and I mean anyone I liked and the big excuse to not speak to them. Maybe I was onto something cause clearly by adult events, talking to people just confirms people would stab you in the back especially when they come from that exact region the highschool was at. But yet, I am to say that its best to be sure in these situations than just be holding onto the "image you perceive of people". Yet I am to say that, maybe the world is a bad place where everyone person you will be attracted to will stab you. Yes, I really did not have anytime for that sort of thing. Just hoped it would become true just like bad christians pray for something to become true. Yet I am insulting myself comparing myself to such people. I am to say that really much the whole school romantic situation then was one of just danger, hostility and people having their different class wars. I mean to say that as you know highschool students segregate by groups. The AP class was certainly not any place to speak to any person in your class. So attuned to being the same fake people that if people registered you for who you were-they would have placed a target on you and basically even if you did speak would cockblock you and prevent you from having a louder voice. I mean, should people have to shout? I am to say that it would not look good to the person who you liked. Namely, who in their right mind would sit with any of these people when they had such a thing going on. I am to say that the regular folks were less vicious but had some vicious about them and less cohesiveness. They had the realization they were separate individuals and yes double crossing did happen and it caused fights. But really would want to be chilling with someone who has no ambitions and just stupid as their character trait on purpose and they made no real effort to learn? The answer is no. The only people who you were even good to go after where those in the AP classes because at least they cared theirselves with some sort of respect but then again their social system was just for a bad time. Alas, folks, I was alone. Namely, would not do that time  again.

    So to put two and two together, I really had a tough time. I had no friends. No support from family and especially not them. The school itself was an obstacle that I found myself rising against and let's say that bad blessings from family never just go away when school ends. The lack of proper socialization that is healthy with good people your age  never gets filled. I mean to say that really even to this day, I have no friends of my own age and really much I don't care about that type of stuff to be honest these days but I did try to make an effort in the past yet nothing good would come of it. I knew even then that none of my friendships with anyone was real. They were all fake and if people were nice to me, they were just nice and really much would never know the true me even if they were genuine folks. I am to say that the social situation was always something of a hellish nightmare, you could never get the nice people together but have the nice people captured by malicious groups. The thing to learn is that later some people in the AP classes would be cheaters and there would be two people and I mean two people in the group who would not cheat at all. If anything were just stuck in these toxic groups. Really much I put the need for friendship in the story of Launching 4.

    Launching 4 is a bit different than some works as all the main characters aren't introduced at the start. No, the work actually had many different arcs I wrote and main characters would vary. This was to give some sense of real life to the work but I say that some friends stay together forever. Just because I never saw any such thing in my life does not  mean it did not exist. This work of mine inspired me to continue living life as I should do it a positive and constructive manner. It gave me the voice to "not give into the surrounding" and that "eventually it would be over". Yes, if you are facing an "eventually it would be over" situation at 13/14, you are at a bad place and really much I realized it then.

    However by the Christmas break I had finished a large portion of the series. The thing with Launching 4 is that it was a large ass work. Talking about 300 serials/units of stories for the whole thing with different colorful arcs. I am to say I did not appreciate manga at this time and really much just saw it as the bane against fruitivity and in some degree some people would try to copy manga and just fail. I mean to say that I believed people should just make their own works and not try to emulate things that obviously took years of work to even create and from a different culture they clearly did not respect. I am to say that some people who like manga don't make it look appealing by their behavior outward into the world. But by Christmas, I had written most of the work. Up to perhaps the 6th volume but I cannot be sure unless I actually check the books I wrote it in. I mean there were only four more volumes to go by the spring 2010 and it was completed in the early summer of 2010 around June. So basically, I had turned a negative situation into a good one and it would never reverse ever again. Also in this time was working on writing other works as well. These eventually became what is known today as the various Kyeombi ideas. "Hurray" it was like and basically feeling like a king where these AP students thought they were the royalty of the world for being pawns of a merit system that only wants to merit them debt and hardships in college. It was also a good feeling over these people who had given up on theirselves. I had prevailed.

    Namely I had wrote around 180 serials up to that point and gotten down the idea for the story as if it was going to be an animated story. It was a large accomplishment that largely went unnoticed but led me to my today. You could ask me why, I did not try to learn to make comics then and the answer is just to the effect that I did. I even asked for a book on how to make comics but found it as useful as toilet paper to wipe your ass. That book was full of ass, if you ask me.Just a bunch of helpful posturing bullshit. It did not help you out. People saying, " there is only one way", really just shows how futile and primitive even comics being a profession even is behind these big named comic book companies even is.Kudos folks,  I know how to do pretty much alot of things in comics. I can write the story, color the work, apply the text, importantly draw it and even serve as the graphic designer. People have literally got to understand that in the comic book efforts of today, you usually just have one person doing one job and not knowing how to do any of the other jobs which are fairly simple and easy to grasp. Its not like you have to get a masters in coloring to be a colorist but that is how difficult people want to make things for theirselves. They want to be one trick ponies and closeminded. What I saw in this how to book, was just one lazy way of doing things and depending on people to do it. I mean, to say that they seek to encourage there are no other ways but their way and people cannot be anything but clogs to this existing system because its the only thing of comics that exists. But to be known at this time, I already knew of various online comics that today are early webcomics and pondered that, " some people don't write a script at all" and they just draw. 

    The main pull and allure the book tried to say, "our way is the only way to be successful", yet it was out of touch with reality. Webcomics were growing at this time and today they are a sizable format that people use to make their comics and many young people use to make their comics. If we are to be real about things people never and I mean they never make anything really much with scripts or venture to do all essential jobs but by theirselves. Honestly today, more people who make comics and I am to say that the people of webcomics globally expend the few people who get to work under DC comics and Marvel comics, really tend to just to make everything and do everything theirselves. Only people who want to accelerate their efforts and have some noriority expand to offering jobs to others because they can afford them. Yet the most popular model for creating comics is people who are usually just one person or two people( with work either split or one doing the illustrative and outlook efforts of text and color and even the look of the comic's graphic design). I am to say that I never picked up the book but three disappointing times. Nothing in it helped me advance to anything. 

    So I am to say that basically I did not receive that book until later but the thing is that I realized that I had to form a foundation first and frankly was most centered on writing and recording everything. I still use these writing and recordings today and in fact used the one for Launching 4. I mean to say that I knew that it was better to focus on writing everything and all my ideas and choosing an adaption path later. It could have been an animated work, a comic, a book series or something else these ideas could turn to. Legitimately, I had been making comics for a while on lined paper for a long time but with no success for anything long lasting or anything that could be a comic. There were hurdles too. Technological and resources hurdles to even create comics. You had to have access to paper. I did not have enough to make all my works as the such. You had to color things. I realized it was impossible to color things all on paper. You had to post everything or at things on the internet for it to even reach the masses and be careful of what mass audience you shared to. The thing I realized is that my drawings would be good if they had direction and so I strived to make stories for all my works and then that  is slowly how I was able to even get to the element of ,"how to make a comic". I came to realize it was best to write everything out and then hope that later with time and your persistence in the future as you surely clearly showed by writing Launching 4-a large story, that you would eventually reach a favorable conclusion.

    I realize today that really I can basically remove all the lines from old comics and old drawings and even just color them and just have them as they were then. Bring life to the works as I saw them in my head. Literally that goes to show my future efforts would have such the impact that I today can remake all these comics of Launching 4 and other works from the past without the lines and with color. The thing to be know is that I realized by that Christmas Break what I could do in the future and frankly the start of the 2010s was me realizing that I truly could impact my future. It was the first time I actually made a stand that was successful in improving my life to the direction I wanted it to go as in telling stories and not be bond to worth behind school.

    I truly say that it was the most fucking sad thing to see people I went off to college with and they had no sense of self identity and just really struggling with their own identities of being just "creatures for school". These people literally never fold anything to pour their lives into or stood up ever for theirselves. Just people who believed just what idiots frankly told them. And I mean to say people are idiots when they want to remove things that can actually happen in reality "if you put your mind to it",from happening. Because they don't want to acknowledge it can happen and don't ever want it to be an option in their "real world" and really just cannot envision even doing anything but what is dry and brick mortar to them and their people. They are idiots because they don't even want to even think a thing can be possible when it is. Frankly the same people who despite their need for children to become scientists not long ago would have been the people to oust scientific facts that are needed for the profession. I mean to say that really, people are creative in the worst ways. How do people who really were against scientific inquiry or freedom of thinking with their religions even become attune to their children becoming prophet engineers and the such? And pushing it so their children never develop any real sense of self and just blame people who aren't them? Like push it so much that the only cause for this new cultural shift is just the need for money and better lifestyle and suddenly then, "they can be modern". Yet push for the worst modern that can be, one of a white supremacy bent. Alas, folks, your author is a self made man and not some bitch with a hand up their ass. Yea, I am not a puppet. All thoughts are my own and frankly I don't use the excuse of my condition to discriminate against others. Never have I but be accepting to people.

    If anything is to be said I have always been accepting of people and maybe too accepting sometimes where they have the tendency to always backstab yet I could never be vocal about my accomplishments to anyone, folks. That would be a big no no and all you were doing was trying to fund your dreams forward. You had so much enemies towards your goals that you it would be foolish to speak to anyone about them. I never said shit to anyone about anything. Just until the day I graduated highschool kept my mouth shut about things and really never ever talked much about it in college. Just that that I was more open to the fact that I was aiming to make some comics. Never specific ideas as I did not trust anyone. Even that image I gave off of me was completely fake.  I mean to say that as time would go on and until I spoke to a person about my work called Zino Flyboy in 2019, I would only engage content when I had truly achieved power. I mean that literally in 2019, I was doing good in school and college at that-felt I could speak how much I wanted to anyone because they were frankly without that insurance of power I had ( associates degree in graphic design and skills behind comics). 

    Yet, you got to be really careful then. People will still backstab you for the face of jealousy or indifference to what you strive for in life. Let me be clear that sincerely, you would believe the place I grew up in was Russia than America. Or just a place you are made to believe is restrictive of freedom of expression and the such but folks, I am to tell you that-I was restricted of expression openly for many long fucking years. It was unnecessary. What harm does a comic do? To the academic idiots of the world and I mean some "cultured" parents( who are so gung ho about you eating up a bunch of shit made by western bigots just so you can make more money than them), it is the equivalent of you doing crack cocaine. I mean to say there were some great argument and physical disputes in this time that I will never let myself forget happen just because I wanted to create comics. Yea, fuck you parents and your whole culture too. Like let's be honest, there is evil in people and some people just will never be caught openly for the direct evils they do. I mean clearly it is abuse against people's freedom of expression and who they are for parents to force them to be something they ain't. I am sure all the people who turned out to be gay and mormon or gay and muslim all can attest to this. Yet my goals were never sexual-just to make comics.

    I am to conclude that seriously I did sacrifice alot and suffer alot just to make Launching 4 as a written work and continue the idea itself and not let it be lost to the chaos of the world. Yet just writing it was an adventure but is not the full story behind Launching 4. Nope, truly I could write a whole bunch of stuff about Launching 4 that would illustrate my life but I honestly in the past never wrote so clearly on the subject because I was never sure of it success. These days with everything going on and what I have done up to now recapping events and artworks of the past is that sincerely, it was a success from writing it alone. Even more a success when it came to the 2015 draft. A great one by the spring 2019 narrative. I have to continue this work folks and whilst it might take awhile and it might be hard to do it and you might not see it right away, it is worth it.

I do say that my story is not unique at all folks and what happens in reality to the creatives of the world is nothing but abuse, crime and a sign that humanity is not advanced as it wants to believe.