The accelling and compelling adventures of winter to spring 2017 in a look back and a talk about race and yes something of an activism if ever so minor.
I wrote down and drew many advents that happened in spring 2017. I today am to give an analysis on the time period of winter to spring 2017 from an aftermath perspective which has never been done. I have been frankly living in the terror of events and just drifting with the times and just pushing along but no more. I realize that really the quality of ideas declined after January. Really. that is where and when everything declined because I withheld many ideas but that was only to starve off a crisis situation. Really much it would have been worse if I gave no consideration to what trauma and what I was experiencing that was overwhelming. Eventually many new ideas were sprung up but only for the sake of encountering these new ideas for stories and recognizing in a new plot it was better to draw everything out or at least list the series to some clear extent that may allow readiness to work on the projects later. By May things had settled to where the ideas in early 2017 and the winter just became their own group really just by thinking about them over months. Literally by May and the end of it created another group of works that matched even more new ideas I had come up with. The idea blockade in which I started in January 2017 only locked in works prior to that time and really did not prevent any new works. Yet in the summer would always been thinking when and where I would actually get to work on these works and be free of holding them. Everything after 2017 winter and spring I realize has been working to get to winter and spring 2017 again and have the chance to work on all these ideas forgone in the time.
Today, I have basically rendered some if not add to the previous circumstantial elements and environment in winter and spring 2017. I look back now and really realize I was just trying to do the most just to survive,. The things done are so sporadic and every day practically was its own adventure and that it only had good elements when concerning from where I stemmed positivity and optimism and not anywhere else. There were few people who were nice and humane enough to be briefly included in an adventure like the girl I exchanged coins with or the girl who was also a seller of goods. Namely, no one wanted to do anything even common courtesy enough to just leave me the fuck alone when I had no clue of who they were. People were so haunty and just evil. The real term I am looking for is racist. They thought they were so heroic going to this campus and bothering someone who was never bothering them. Its not as if I slapped people around or called people out. No, all I did in my spare time was draw, sit, look at the clouds and avoid people's evil fucking stares if not walk to avoid these people. Literally,I am to say that I maybe missed many things even in today's haul but the truth of the matter is that people were so righteous behind racist ideas and even vocalizing it. There was this black woman in particular who said talking to someone and I really did not know who she was talking to because she was the only one by herself. People were just passing by her and she said what? " Race is not it".
Okay,I said to myself because frankly some people just like to delude theirselves they are apart of something and that they best follow along. I am telling you that even black people can be racist towards black people or just ignorant on who are black people. I find it so offensive that people surely think that just because I have indian features that I am solely indian pretending to be "black". The level of fucking ignorance in people black or not at that place probably was just to think just that. Folks, I am to tell you that really the world is a large place and that people and yes people have parents from a place where blacks, indians and asians live together! The country itself is called Guyana and yes when you have all those different types of people they tend to mix. Literally, I am not making anything up but some people are out of their damned minds thinking the shit they think and don't realize that its offensive. You should never try to generalize people into a racial category based off your lack of knowledge. You should ask them nice and cordially and with no motives either but to learn more about the people of the world. True and true folks; that place was a shit hole of ignorant people who will never learn anything of the world past their ham on whitebread experience.
I do not write of this because of what is currently happening but I write it because I was going to write it anyways. Yet maybe it has more interest than it would have before. I have to say that the experience in that spring 2017 and winter 2017 was something that you would vow your life to erase. Never should you be chased across a community college just to get away from hostiles who happen to be racists. I make no comparisons with the objectives of current movement but when I express that I have anger at the people and that school or have express it-it is the same sort of anger that gets people to riot and burn down whole buildings for the name of justice. Albeit what I actually have done for the own crisis of mine in which I experienced since that spring semester in 2017 is to basically keep collecting records to tell my story. I would have the time to stay at this community college for two years and observed that really nothing was pretty much better and in fact it was way worse in spring 2019. You basically encountered so many self hating and racists people it was pathetic yet this was a culture that was able to go on because no retribution was cast to its wrongs. Like many things in society today-people embrace a racist culture and I am to say that it literally takes breaking the ideal images people want to come forth with to deceive the masses. It is to come out with narratives that are based in experience of how truly people are. And that an administration body of the school not only does nothing to stop the racist culture but promotes it! The police aren't the one wrong people who benefit from a racist system, it is the schools and in that spring semester, I truly learned how cruel the system is. People only get away with wrongs only if its encourages and openly allowed. Teachers should readily and expressly in adult classes never promote the ganging up of individuals upon another for their self respecting identity behind their race. Yet that is what all three teachers I had in that semester did.
Despite all the wrong shit that was happening in spring 2017, I realize I did a good job surviving where many people would have snapped and basically gotten violent with people. In many later experiences, realize that other people are never so tolerant of others ever"misunderstanding" them or seeming too. I realize that it is good to be cautious of people but its never good to blatantly and violently attack people because you think they have misunderstood you especially when they are just trying to know you. How are people to know you when you don't give them a chance to know or they are just doing what is normal socially acceptable to get to know someone? And yet you caught up in ego say they are "disrespecting" you. I am to say there is not a fine line between being an antagonist onlooker and being antagonist when approached for normal social encounters but there is a degree of fucking reason that you should have in your fucking head to know what is good and what is wrong. You cannot enforce that there is a value behind your race that only seeks to validate your small knowledge of it and yet divide people. People of color do not need to hide from ambitious places. Is what I am saying. There are more better things to be than a person who accepts that they cannot get an education or cannot learn to be friendly with people of other races or wants to consign a role to theirselves based on race that no one will go and cosign to them even in their race.
So many people men and women, of all colors just want to accept there is a "clean" vision to live their lives based on color. There is no such thing. But that is what a racist society and the proponents of it suggest just so they can have control over people. By falling into these traps, you rid yourself of opportunities, enjoyment and the ability to even be your fucking self and just give racists your life. I met with so many people and they were just trapped in the notion of what "they could do acceptably". There was one woman in the end of the fall 2018 semester who basically relied solely not ever on her own power to get to things but the permission of other people to get somewhere. I am to say basically this person was granted a assistant position for some lawyer really much just from working at a bank. She never was in school before that and before you say the offer was a motivation to go to school, no she was just caught up in the thought of money and really much to any effect if she had never been approached or enlightened on requirements "so that hiring her in the capacity she was hired would be legal", she would have never gone to school. Namely many people out there are like that. They don't want to challenge anything of what an otherly racist idealism wants to guide them towards. Literally. The person I spoke to would have never been there at that school without her precious job opportunity. Ideally, she was not there to learn but just to get more money because she was worth so much less off the bat in her ideas and this was her big shot to make it. Lots of times people of color get trapped in this idea that they are lesser and that they have to indulge in this money shot traps which never have any real merit of " doing for yourself" or seeing that you could actually make it in real life.without this pigeonhole gambit. Basketball players, rappers, videogame players and footballers are all but the same in this regard. They all but classify theirselves unredeemable without football, basketball or trying to land a lable. For some people it works well that offers exist to be placed in these sports and these lifestyles but else it is a bad model for everyone to try and be just that.
Folks, literally, I am saying that if people want true freedom from a racist society that they must learn to recognize they are worth more than opportunities to reach a "higher status" which they were not borne in and that many of these opportunities are just deals with the devil. Football and basketball in particular in the examples I give. How many people who run these sports and sport organizations are nothing but bigots who won't allow a knee to be bent and basically fall in line with Trump calling people who dare take a knee for a cause," sons of bitches". People need not be ignorant of the power and information they can give theirselves. About the world, the people in it other than them and their role in the world if they can dream it. Literally, I will say of myself that I even invented a new higher education track that has granted me more knowledge of people and the education system itself. I have been to a four year college, a two year college, a two year college recovering from a flood and then a four year college that is piss poor. I would never have gotten to all these places if I doubted myself and looked for cheap opportunities that must be the only way for people of color to advance like football or basketball. But many people today doubt theirselves when they should never. Why it was so heavy hurting in that spring 2017 semester is to be at a community college and realize how ignorant everyone was pretty much with only about a few people I could ever encounter who had the proper frame and structure of not being so racial stupid and self hating. I tell you that if you are black and really hate to learn about all the people's of the world and mislabel people-you are the problem and are racist yourself when you will never recognize all the people who actually are black for your own prerogative of "doubting yourself" and wanting everything to be solely about your group of people.
Bringing back to my point earlier about how it is sense of "reason" to know who where to accept people and where to reject them. You should never reject people who dare try to broaden your horizons in a self respecting way and what you can do in life ideally if you want. You should reject people however who seem to have nothing good towards you and just really are out against you. I mean if people constantly are saying stuff about you and glaring at you and you never seen them before, you should not socialize with them. Ideally folks, I have seen in education that racism is a two bladed thing. You can have one group of all colors self hating one direction upholding a belief of white superiority and racial misinformation. And you can have one group of people of all colors thinking they are so low that they always have to take opportunities that are cheap, shitty, devil's pacts and just scams. I have met so many latina girls who seem to be just but taken advantage of by older men who should know better to hire them for a job which it is actually illegal to hire them for when they have no medical skills or legal skills. It just gets to me how they think this is their big opportunity to turn around their lives. When if at any time, they are caught without the proper license well they could get into big trouble with the law and even end up in jail. People ardently need to recognize that going to school and higher education is necessary to challenge a racist system. This is what I felt suddenly like I was doing in spring 2017. I read my whole life about civil rights ventures and how they had to suffer to get rights but never did I expect to be basically forced into the same role as these people in the past as if society was without their accomplishments. When I say I have anger about what went on in that spring 2017 community college campus, I was angry because it was like as if all these people's accomplishments and lives were for naught. Especially when you had many black people around that campus being worse bigots than any one white person was. To even get past black people, one hispanic teacher was the worst teacher I ever have had in my life.I was enlightened to how people who could be black, hispanic, asian and white don't know anything about civil rights, don't care about racial unity and utterly just want to make people suffer for the sake of their skin color. It was like everyone had ingrained self hatred and racism in them in that time and that was the case. I felt anger that I was the only one who dared tried to uphold what these civil rights leaders had accomplished and that everyone basically was regressing things to a pre-civil rights society with no concern or care for what they were doing as if a heroic indifference.
Friends, you must realize I did not come off that semester thinking I was the center of the world but people made me the center, they made me a target and they aimed their arrows at me and could never comprehend not to. Very ignorant people were and when I saw the shit conditions of the place and just the anger from people trying to regress things, I felt I had to stand up to racism. Never before then did I feel the need. But how I did it; stand up to this racism was to continue drawing and writing and advancing in my goals. I would not let anyone stop me from my objectives even if I had to take two failing classes just to have enough drops for my later academic career. That is how I stood up to them and that is what I realize looking back on that time period essentially people who are interested in a better tomorrow must stand up to insitutionalized racism in schools. Be the example and not the follower.
Ideally I feel as if this the start of a brand new beginning because this time around in speaking of the winter and spring 2017- I have completed many drawings that add up into a story or the basis for a one that communicates in truth what I did experience in that time. I do tell you that it took alot to do these past few days to recover what happened across some periods of time within this time period but I am making valid progress. I do note that in the summer 2017 tried to make a record of what happened in the spring 2017 but well, a person had too much to do for anything to truly work out in that regard.
Today, I have basically rendered some if not add to the previous circumstantial elements and environment in winter and spring 2017. I look back now and really realize I was just trying to do the most just to survive,. The things done are so sporadic and every day practically was its own adventure and that it only had good elements when concerning from where I stemmed positivity and optimism and not anywhere else. There were few people who were nice and humane enough to be briefly included in an adventure like the girl I exchanged coins with or the girl who was also a seller of goods. Namely, no one wanted to do anything even common courtesy enough to just leave me the fuck alone when I had no clue of who they were. People were so haunty and just evil. The real term I am looking for is racist. They thought they were so heroic going to this campus and bothering someone who was never bothering them. Its not as if I slapped people around or called people out. No, all I did in my spare time was draw, sit, look at the clouds and avoid people's evil fucking stares if not walk to avoid these people. Literally,I am to say that I maybe missed many things even in today's haul but the truth of the matter is that people were so righteous behind racist ideas and even vocalizing it. There was this black woman in particular who said talking to someone and I really did not know who she was talking to because she was the only one by herself. People were just passing by her and she said what? " Race is not it".
Okay,I said to myself because frankly some people just like to delude theirselves they are apart of something and that they best follow along. I am telling you that even black people can be racist towards black people or just ignorant on who are black people. I find it so offensive that people surely think that just because I have indian features that I am solely indian pretending to be "black". The level of fucking ignorance in people black or not at that place probably was just to think just that. Folks, I am to tell you that really the world is a large place and that people and yes people have parents from a place where blacks, indians and asians live together! The country itself is called Guyana and yes when you have all those different types of people they tend to mix. Literally, I am not making anything up but some people are out of their damned minds thinking the shit they think and don't realize that its offensive. You should never try to generalize people into a racial category based off your lack of knowledge. You should ask them nice and cordially and with no motives either but to learn more about the people of the world. True and true folks; that place was a shit hole of ignorant people who will never learn anything of the world past their ham on whitebread experience.
I do not write of this because of what is currently happening but I write it because I was going to write it anyways. Yet maybe it has more interest than it would have before. I have to say that the experience in that spring 2017 and winter 2017 was something that you would vow your life to erase. Never should you be chased across a community college just to get away from hostiles who happen to be racists. I make no comparisons with the objectives of current movement but when I express that I have anger at the people and that school or have express it-it is the same sort of anger that gets people to riot and burn down whole buildings for the name of justice. Albeit what I actually have done for the own crisis of mine in which I experienced since that spring semester in 2017 is to basically keep collecting records to tell my story. I would have the time to stay at this community college for two years and observed that really nothing was pretty much better and in fact it was way worse in spring 2019. You basically encountered so many self hating and racists people it was pathetic yet this was a culture that was able to go on because no retribution was cast to its wrongs. Like many things in society today-people embrace a racist culture and I am to say that it literally takes breaking the ideal images people want to come forth with to deceive the masses. It is to come out with narratives that are based in experience of how truly people are. And that an administration body of the school not only does nothing to stop the racist culture but promotes it! The police aren't the one wrong people who benefit from a racist system, it is the schools and in that spring semester, I truly learned how cruel the system is. People only get away with wrongs only if its encourages and openly allowed. Teachers should readily and expressly in adult classes never promote the ganging up of individuals upon another for their self respecting identity behind their race. Yet that is what all three teachers I had in that semester did.
Despite all the wrong shit that was happening in spring 2017, I realize I did a good job surviving where many people would have snapped and basically gotten violent with people. In many later experiences, realize that other people are never so tolerant of others ever"misunderstanding" them or seeming too. I realize that it is good to be cautious of people but its never good to blatantly and violently attack people because you think they have misunderstood you especially when they are just trying to know you. How are people to know you when you don't give them a chance to know or they are just doing what is normal socially acceptable to get to know someone? And yet you caught up in ego say they are "disrespecting" you. I am to say there is not a fine line between being an antagonist onlooker and being antagonist when approached for normal social encounters but there is a degree of fucking reason that you should have in your fucking head to know what is good and what is wrong. You cannot enforce that there is a value behind your race that only seeks to validate your small knowledge of it and yet divide people. People of color do not need to hide from ambitious places. Is what I am saying. There are more better things to be than a person who accepts that they cannot get an education or cannot learn to be friendly with people of other races or wants to consign a role to theirselves based on race that no one will go and cosign to them even in their race.
So many people men and women, of all colors just want to accept there is a "clean" vision to live their lives based on color. There is no such thing. But that is what a racist society and the proponents of it suggest just so they can have control over people. By falling into these traps, you rid yourself of opportunities, enjoyment and the ability to even be your fucking self and just give racists your life. I met with so many people and they were just trapped in the notion of what "they could do acceptably". There was one woman in the end of the fall 2018 semester who basically relied solely not ever on her own power to get to things but the permission of other people to get somewhere. I am to say basically this person was granted a assistant position for some lawyer really much just from working at a bank. She never was in school before that and before you say the offer was a motivation to go to school, no she was just caught up in the thought of money and really much to any effect if she had never been approached or enlightened on requirements "so that hiring her in the capacity she was hired would be legal", she would have never gone to school. Namely many people out there are like that. They don't want to challenge anything of what an otherly racist idealism wants to guide them towards. Literally. The person I spoke to would have never been there at that school without her precious job opportunity. Ideally, she was not there to learn but just to get more money because she was worth so much less off the bat in her ideas and this was her big shot to make it. Lots of times people of color get trapped in this idea that they are lesser and that they have to indulge in this money shot traps which never have any real merit of " doing for yourself" or seeing that you could actually make it in real life.without this pigeonhole gambit. Basketball players, rappers, videogame players and footballers are all but the same in this regard. They all but classify theirselves unredeemable without football, basketball or trying to land a lable. For some people it works well that offers exist to be placed in these sports and these lifestyles but else it is a bad model for everyone to try and be just that.
Folks, literally, I am saying that if people want true freedom from a racist society that they must learn to recognize they are worth more than opportunities to reach a "higher status" which they were not borne in and that many of these opportunities are just deals with the devil. Football and basketball in particular in the examples I give. How many people who run these sports and sport organizations are nothing but bigots who won't allow a knee to be bent and basically fall in line with Trump calling people who dare take a knee for a cause," sons of bitches". People need not be ignorant of the power and information they can give theirselves. About the world, the people in it other than them and their role in the world if they can dream it. Literally, I will say of myself that I even invented a new higher education track that has granted me more knowledge of people and the education system itself. I have been to a four year college, a two year college, a two year college recovering from a flood and then a four year college that is piss poor. I would never have gotten to all these places if I doubted myself and looked for cheap opportunities that must be the only way for people of color to advance like football or basketball. But many people today doubt theirselves when they should never. Why it was so heavy hurting in that spring 2017 semester is to be at a community college and realize how ignorant everyone was pretty much with only about a few people I could ever encounter who had the proper frame and structure of not being so racial stupid and self hating. I tell you that if you are black and really hate to learn about all the people's of the world and mislabel people-you are the problem and are racist yourself when you will never recognize all the people who actually are black for your own prerogative of "doubting yourself" and wanting everything to be solely about your group of people.
Bringing back to my point earlier about how it is sense of "reason" to know who where to accept people and where to reject them. You should never reject people who dare try to broaden your horizons in a self respecting way and what you can do in life ideally if you want. You should reject people however who seem to have nothing good towards you and just really are out against you. I mean if people constantly are saying stuff about you and glaring at you and you never seen them before, you should not socialize with them. Ideally folks, I have seen in education that racism is a two bladed thing. You can have one group of all colors self hating one direction upholding a belief of white superiority and racial misinformation. And you can have one group of people of all colors thinking they are so low that they always have to take opportunities that are cheap, shitty, devil's pacts and just scams. I have met so many latina girls who seem to be just but taken advantage of by older men who should know better to hire them for a job which it is actually illegal to hire them for when they have no medical skills or legal skills. It just gets to me how they think this is their big opportunity to turn around their lives. When if at any time, they are caught without the proper license well they could get into big trouble with the law and even end up in jail. People ardently need to recognize that going to school and higher education is necessary to challenge a racist system. This is what I felt suddenly like I was doing in spring 2017. I read my whole life about civil rights ventures and how they had to suffer to get rights but never did I expect to be basically forced into the same role as these people in the past as if society was without their accomplishments. When I say I have anger about what went on in that spring 2017 community college campus, I was angry because it was like as if all these people's accomplishments and lives were for naught. Especially when you had many black people around that campus being worse bigots than any one white person was. To even get past black people, one hispanic teacher was the worst teacher I ever have had in my life.I was enlightened to how people who could be black, hispanic, asian and white don't know anything about civil rights, don't care about racial unity and utterly just want to make people suffer for the sake of their skin color. It was like everyone had ingrained self hatred and racism in them in that time and that was the case. I felt anger that I was the only one who dared tried to uphold what these civil rights leaders had accomplished and that everyone basically was regressing things to a pre-civil rights society with no concern or care for what they were doing as if a heroic indifference.
Friends, you must realize I did not come off that semester thinking I was the center of the world but people made me the center, they made me a target and they aimed their arrows at me and could never comprehend not to. Very ignorant people were and when I saw the shit conditions of the place and just the anger from people trying to regress things, I felt I had to stand up to racism. Never before then did I feel the need. But how I did it; stand up to this racism was to continue drawing and writing and advancing in my goals. I would not let anyone stop me from my objectives even if I had to take two failing classes just to have enough drops for my later academic career. That is how I stood up to them and that is what I realize looking back on that time period essentially people who are interested in a better tomorrow must stand up to insitutionalized racism in schools. Be the example and not the follower.
Ideally I feel as if this the start of a brand new beginning because this time around in speaking of the winter and spring 2017- I have completed many drawings that add up into a story or the basis for a one that communicates in truth what I did experience in that time. I do tell you that it took alot to do these past few days to recover what happened across some periods of time within this time period but I am making valid progress. I do note that in the summer 2017 tried to make a record of what happened in the spring 2017 but well, a person had too much to do for anything to truly work out in that regard.
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