The hatred against the photoshop works does not fucking matter to me in what I choose to do, but it is racist.

I remember strictly that really much was breathing an everyday will to continue in a productive direction. I did strive this time in July to do just that. I tried to recreate book covers. I did drawings of people I found on the internet. I experimented with photoshop and especially the filters in photoshop. I look back and there are many people out there to shut down that will. However, even if I came across such people who said to me in Portfolio Class in spring 2018( the class you have to take to graduate from a certain graphic design program)  to my portfolio work made in the time, " These are just all pictures with filters, where is your work.... and...if you are not serious you can go fuck around at Lonestar North Harris and whatever they are doing" Literally, I am saying to you if a white man who is the head of the department says this to the only black person there to basically go to the "colored people" school, you should know that one community college called Lonestar Kingwood just is not a good place to go to be respected as a person of color. The experience in spring 2017 could tell you that. And well folks let me tell you the hard part of things, there are people who want to engage that they actually slowed you down and that their words mean anything. I basically did not even care what this guy said because these works very so vital to me in gaining skill, it did not matter what someone who even admitted that they " weren't a graphic designer anymore and had not learned the most recent programs" would even say. I am to say that truly and truly the bigots crawl where they have the privilege to and don't need to be. What and why was this guy even the department head of anything when he did not have the skills, hated the other branches of the community college and frankly was a piece of shit. Endeavored a toxic environment in the graphic design program and well his children had certain honors for his role as the department head. Yes, I am to say that really enough the people against you have so misappropriated power. 

However it would be nice to note that this guy was basically "knowing he was a threat" and trying his best to be one when in reality he was just a sad old man washed up by his privilege and just hatred and really enough lacking even the virtues of craft, knowledge and skill you would expect of a dean of graphic design or you could stick him under multimedia. But honestly folks, this guy hardly knew shit about anything especially graphic design of the modern era and know how to use all the programs. I will literally say that when a kind of dumb student asked him why "we graphic design students did not learn more", his response was basically," I hired good talent but some people are problematic". The rabble of his supporters would basically and I mean basically always bring up the only diverse teacher who happened to be spanish/ french and hispanic( I do say that I might be listing spanish too much as hispanics are part Spaniard). They would demean her and then demean the other teachers who weren't white men. They threw the women under the bus basically and admired the wit and strength of this guy I really did not ever like in the fall 2017 semester. Revere the white people they were like. What was then worse was that in admission, he the whole fucking dean said, " I really don't know much about these current programs though I did try to help you earlier". Literally this is what he and this guy who looked up to him talked about. My big points to take away is that he was a bigot, inspired bigots, bad behavior, did bad things that don't make for a tight knit or moral community, and had no clue to even do what I would learn to even do in the early summer 2017. I am to look back and realize the fellow just wanted to see underrated assignments from the past classes that never gave room for experimentation-just really could be "repetitive" true and true and never much would people ever show skill in doing anything for how poorly things were truly construed in the environment in the department and campus. 

People literally turned in work that was late and most of the time poor quality. Would you want to show these works as anything in your portfolio when they were never forgiving to even allow you any creative freedoms and else unless your worked at home literally had to just "do what was simple" because the environment in the computer labs would be so destructive as well in the classes.  People would always talk and always ramble on. I am to say that people found in that computer lab basically were like the freaks at the back of highschool and you wondered what the fuck they smoked before they came. Some of these people were so abnormal in their socialization and culture that either they were really dangerously quiet and speaking up to make racist or sexist or just evil remarks or they were the type that just loudly expressed their self important and many times hateful views.  I am literally to say that these places in which you were to work where not good for working at all and just toxic competition would force many people to just attempt poorly what other people were doing and they never had any good guidance from the teachers. So the old man running this thing with his fat belly basically was admitting that he could not run shit.  He knew all the crimes. Even the ones where he was racist. I mean, he made it out to always target the only diverse staff, a woman none the less. You can say I was there for nearly four years to see this woman just fall off a cliff in spirit and she was really just there to be a punching bag to hang onto her job. Like where else would she even be allowed to teach, I am to wonder? You look at these universities and the people they have teaching graphic design, let's just say that really enough they aren't people of color and really enough I find that representation of any people of color is lacking in the education circuit that does not happen to be a community college and even there it lacks.

 I mean to say that really enough there was only one black man as a graphic design teacher and I had to go to the lowkey " colored" school to figure that out. Oh and he was off his rocker. He basically was hiding in a freaking corner rambling on about how, "he was so great in the times of archaic graphic design where there was no technology much". I mean this dude actually needed to shut up because nothing he said made any difference or impact and really I am to say that if the only people of color in these positions are usually deluded, crazy or else egoistical which both the woman of tri heritage was and so was the dude who was black-it just goes to show how poorly they have it. Have to hold onto to a teaching job to make a wave in gaining an income. I am to say that if people made so much money from their little graphic design freelancing would they be teachers? I am to say that they would not be teachers at all. Literally enough the people of color holding on by the strands of their indifference to recognize reality and their actual racist situation. When ever would that old black man who classes I took in the fall 2017 and spring 2018 because he was the only option, wake up to the fact that really much he is not a graphic designer but a piss poor teacher. I am to say to you if anyone tries to make learning css hard or refuses to learn it as a teacher in graphic design and talk about a pre computer history, you ought to never take their words. Its quiet stupid to even believe programming or web design by code is hard when it is just another language. But don't tell these people that. They fumble and bumble to even recognize their actual position and just let people walk all over them. This douche bag who runs the Lonestar Kingwood branch department of graphic design basically made not only a point to basically rip the one minority teacher but also those minority people at another campus. The word for that is racist folks.

I have to say in sum, that I have had to deal with alot of racists. Particularly what is most alarming is that they think they can be friend with you after the fact. Old fat department head a year later, last year when he saw me said, "hello". As if he did not fail me from that class with a "D" with his lack of knowledge of any subject matters, professionalism and just ability to even recognize works outside the radius of what his con knowledge could realize was legitimate to keep up the charade that he was throwing himself onto others-that he was intelligible and even skilled at what he was doing. Literally, works must had to look like all the past ones because this guy forgot his skills, his brain and just came to collect a paycheck. So disturbing it is that literally, you have to play down yelling at the twat to keep a civilized image and not just yell out of the blue. Akin folks, greatly enough this guy would not define my works I did that summer 2017.  I knew what I had done and I knew who I was and no one would ever take that from me. But isn't unfair that I basically had to get a "D" because I was just tired of dealing with people at that point of this tendency of racism? It is because folks believe it or not, I was just flowing with the times and really much just waiting to where I could cast a long nightmare over. In being that even if I came back to the same school. I never would actually need to take any class from any form of a old man with a toxic following ever again. I am to say that graphic design students aren't that smart and really enough only few people who have any freaking wit from the time they arrive even pass to become anything. Nope, you never see any of the freakazoids becoming these people who even act to get any level of a degree when they can get it without any debt. Lo, and behold mates, in sum folks basically I really did not care what grade I got in the class because it was unfair from the start. You give people your money and then what? They screw you over and just give you a "D" because they don't like your race and then they don't like you. I am to say that much and much from my experiences that old men who are white are some of the most insincere sons of bitches ever just from my experience at this community college circuit. Literally, they try to be "your friend" but in a really demeaning way and then basically purposefully deny you of what you are owed of your hard work.

I am glad I have reached a place and a time where I can go back over all my photoshop mock ups and then basically hold forever over these bastards heads that , " the work continues and you did not do anything to hinder it".  I mean they make a point to give privilege to others that is public and then mock you, the only self respecting person of color who does not want to be racist or self hating some bad mark or comment on your project to engage the racial hostilities in your fellow students. They basically mock you and verbally insult your works than anyone else. Literally. Yet some mindy cindy can not come to class and they already get an A. I am not saying the women teachers weren't racist but let's just say they aren't such ergerious bastards as the men in the graphic design program and don't even get me start on that one old black man who smoked whatever in his pipe.

Oft to say my works and efforts never went to waste even if people were very much against them. I mean, I am to say that these teachers will never find out whatever I write here when they foremost aren't very smart and really enough just don't know the power of testaments on the behalf of a service you pay for which is what education is when you have to pay for it. And really much I am going to take some time like I did to color the spring 2017 pencil drawings- to remake all the mockups I did in the summer but to a different degree and probably not use the actual images because I don't want to get in trouble with people with an " internet image" or copyrighted property. Alas, I do reflect why I stopped using photoshop was because I don't own much of the images I edited if any, drawing is better to get some ideas across and frankly because Adobe is not a good company to support with its type of culture it creates in everything being overtly monopolized and people only knowing to use Adobe programs. Yea, I really did not want to limit my skills to Adobe.

I am to say that some people really are out for your blood out there folks and you cannot let them win. Today, I would have reported the teacher who was a head of the graphic design and the whole program for its abuses, inhumane and injust( its cruelty to hear men children speak about their intolerable bullshit) cruel punishment and just really a lack of morals. Also would have reported it for its "favoritism" aspects. Yet I find that things are on the internet reviewing a place are better to illustrate what actually happened there and just maybe you should not go there at all when they are racist and have such high favoritism. But when you remember my works of the following especially those which are of the digital photoshop format remember some people for one reason or another, self hating or racist tried to always shut it down. Many of the following works are actually from fall 2017 but hey, it was in the portfolio I actually prsented.

summer 2017 

Entirely rendered out of no image alone, to represent the door to a class room that would be slide open.
fall 2017.

summer 2017

summer 2017

 summer 2017