Art girl with a cute name.
People in this life some folk are obviously more attractive to you than they are to others in the general public and find some people even attractive just when no one else will. One day in that place long ago where I made the early drafts in the early methods of fall 2014; I saw a girl who was attractive. It did not matter if she was drawing. I went over after finding some courage after all the stuff with the girl who clearly blamed me and two girls who obviously were bad people to speak to this girl.
I don't remember what I said. I don't know what I said really. But this was the thing I actually said( the whole two lines before are sarcasm). " you like to draw?" I said and that is what started the conversation. She showed her art and I showed mine. She communicated how she liked the distinctive lines in the artstyle and I told her what I liked about her art. She was listening to Porter Robinson and I had listened to him in fall 2015-it made me realize how long time had passed since I made those drafts in this same location and it seemed to be like destiny to find another artist(noticeably you cannot see if they are good or not from far away) in the same location. Let me tell you that fall 2014 was the hardest time for me ever and I learned things to survive as an artist myself alone and grew to not like people in general; it generally was only my good character to talk to people or socialize later and not become a person who hides away from people. But regardless of what you try to be social-that is how everyone will treat you because they hate you and your appearance. Namely when you see a younger person in the same position as you were in then with no sail of guidance of what the world is like or any effort to truly make it really against things that can kill art and the self identity of an artist-what do you want to even do? Help this person of course to maybe get their art out there. Try to help them with advice and guide them to the light.
The girl said bye and had to go to class. I went on my way that day but later on I would always attempt to go to that building to speak with her. Many times sitting together but I say that I really did not speak to girl after maybe two weeks after I saw her in the music building near the vending machine. Some people would say to be surely if I had any male friends that the girl did not have an ass of any sort but things like that did not namely matter to me. I just from that one time liked being with her.
One day of one week we sat together and just drew and talked. It was fun I would say but relatively that is when I learned of her Twitter account. Of course I would rush home to add her and yet only bad things were ever building up to happen and no its not because of me. Its because people are too young and yet often go about doing things wrong. I followed her and afterwards for maybe like a week even or then weekend after maybe she unfollowed me( it was actually after the weekend she unfollowed me and not an entire week after). It was rude and I really questioned should I even be helping people who obviously don't know how hated art is in the world? People who think they got it easy. A person does not question if they are doing this for love or interest in the art -supporting another art despite these things are what actually matter.
The next day I sat with her; I believe it was not for a long time and you see all the little people innocently going to that graphic design class of typography and well the teacher won't be teaching them how to make a text that anyone can use. (For real friends just type in software to make text with and you are good though there is a bit of learning curve that obviously is not taught in the graphic design program at this community college because the teachers are idiots who hardly know how to use adobe softwares even or anything else). I kinda of did not want to tell her anything about her unfollowing me or even making it a state of confrontation. I like to say that maybe when a couple passes by they mistake you for another couple and while they weren't the people to bash on singles person; they revealed to me that all the time I had been bothered by couples they saw me as a threat and with this girl I was no threat at all. I would be said happy but not really in realizing this particular girl was some what untrustworthy. Red flags should go off friends but I was too certain on giving help to people who certainly did not need it.
Another day after that; she looked at me with these eyes-ones that were pure interest in me as I spoke but I ignored them really even when I did actually like her. I did not tell her then and there that I actually liked her because supporting her art being out there was more important to me than me being with this particular girl. That day I spoke to her about the race topic in Houston and how it effects education. Just because she asked and I had to use this opportunity to set the record straight finally because really friends tons of people mindwash people to incoherent truths all the time about certain people that are straight up lies and nonsense and after all the shit I had been through do you think I was going to waste the opportunity? No, needless to say that maybe and just maybe it was a waste of time but honestly I was not going to lie. Another girl that I spoken to passed and prior to that at the begin of our chat there was a taller girl who looked generously at me and the girl I was sitting with caught on...did she really look at me with those eyes later to bait me? But really it was because she actually liked me I reasoned but to say if a person really wanted to continue having this person along with them they should have told them there and then they liked them. But anyways the ship was long sailed and this girl basically after that sitting was not my friend or anyone to be bothered with for up until the last day of school. To say all the time in between she was mean.
She mocked my work Zino Flyboy only a person who has a link to the account would even know by the time period it was launched. What was worse is with her else guy friend and people I never realized she was even over in the next class room ahead of me until she mocked my work..! The worst thing is to hear the voice of a friend bad mouth your work and you are like a ghost spying in but you are not and just over in the other class. Some people can say some colored folk lean over to the white bigot side too much and some people do. Her guy who was probably always there a token of racist entitlement.
Prior to this she had unfollowed my Twitter and friends a person tried to not reblog any pornography and maybe unfollowed every time of nude professional they followed for the sake of not upsetting this one girl. To say that I related this to a person I just met that later said they knew her and even they said it was "rude".
She would say hello to be but always a cringe on her face and after that one time; I sat on that bench in that building with her never should even have considered telling my feelings to her or even helping her at all. How could I have helped her out; my blog literally cares about 3000 views per month which can for some people boost their followings tremendously especially when their art is good and off the view of another artist in which mainly gets the 3000 views per month. If you would see her art it is good. Too bad naive pride and shame of people helping them to even see a broader perspective if not of art but of the world and its education crisis-just lets the opportunity to people to actually see her work. Honestly; its just all to say some people just don't know connections open doors especially when the individual besides his blog has already completed the same degree she is on.
After a while; it seemed as if she actually took time to make herself look pretty or something; valued her appearance more and brushed her hair. She would always leave with that one guy she sat next to and really just favored the identity of indifference and you name it bigotry. A long time passed and maybe made one more attempt to speak to her that did not pan out well but some creepy dude from art bothering the living life out of me. It was over and really I had done not a thing wrong. Namely it was solely her fucking loss. Later on I would go to that bench and no one sat there anyone; it was sad all my effort went to waste but then just maybe this girl did not desire the heart of me nor the effort of me to help her as an artist. I tried to help her not on the merits I liked her but the merits on the matter she could be an artist that people would actually like! I was just hurt in the end but friends why did I even bother to speak with her at the end. I could not leave everything to leave off as it was or her to become someone who in their minds had the right to hate me for whatever reason. The last day instead of going to speak to another girl who was a waste of time and pretty lacking a heart....I went to speak to her to find out why she unfollowed me. Another girl who had smoked her e cig told me I should find out what people do and did for whatever reason. Here I asked her why she had unfollowed me and it was simply because she had forgot or did not even know who was following her from that account. But this person did not get much follows and when people say they are going to follow her~expect a follow that appears later on; it just is them when no one else follows your twitter account. To say clearly lying about that but she seemed so happy from the reblogs and likes that I quickly forgot any level of real importance why I was there. She apologized and I tried to explain the level of hurt she cost me-she apologized and we talked for a while until she had to complete her assignment at the last minute and printed out her assignment and gave me one because I asked. I walked her to her class. Another group of two students assumed we were together.
I was still outside and she communicated with some vigor after leaving the bathroom to reassure me that she just went to the bathroom and would maybe see to say made it to class alright, of course.
I left there that day it still did not feel right; even though I said we could hang out-its pretty clear we weren't but at least this person would be just one of those people to show up later at a great inconvenience and haunt the life out of you. For since that time since now; I had tried to not even think about this person at all.
I don't remember what I said. I don't know what I said really. But this was the thing I actually said( the whole two lines before are sarcasm). " you like to draw?" I said and that is what started the conversation. She showed her art and I showed mine. She communicated how she liked the distinctive lines in the artstyle and I told her what I liked about her art. She was listening to Porter Robinson and I had listened to him in fall 2015-it made me realize how long time had passed since I made those drafts in this same location and it seemed to be like destiny to find another artist(noticeably you cannot see if they are good or not from far away) in the same location. Let me tell you that fall 2014 was the hardest time for me ever and I learned things to survive as an artist myself alone and grew to not like people in general; it generally was only my good character to talk to people or socialize later and not become a person who hides away from people. But regardless of what you try to be social-that is how everyone will treat you because they hate you and your appearance. Namely when you see a younger person in the same position as you were in then with no sail of guidance of what the world is like or any effort to truly make it really against things that can kill art and the self identity of an artist-what do you want to even do? Help this person of course to maybe get their art out there. Try to help them with advice and guide them to the light.
The girl said bye and had to go to class. I went on my way that day but later on I would always attempt to go to that building to speak with her. Many times sitting together but I say that I really did not speak to girl after maybe two weeks after I saw her in the music building near the vending machine. Some people would say to be surely if I had any male friends that the girl did not have an ass of any sort but things like that did not namely matter to me. I just from that one time liked being with her.
One day of one week we sat together and just drew and talked. It was fun I would say but relatively that is when I learned of her Twitter account. Of course I would rush home to add her and yet only bad things were ever building up to happen and no its not because of me. Its because people are too young and yet often go about doing things wrong. I followed her and afterwards for maybe like a week even or then weekend after maybe she unfollowed me( it was actually after the weekend she unfollowed me and not an entire week after). It was rude and I really questioned should I even be helping people who obviously don't know how hated art is in the world? People who think they got it easy. A person does not question if they are doing this for love or interest in the art -supporting another art despite these things are what actually matter.
The next day I sat with her; I believe it was not for a long time and you see all the little people innocently going to that graphic design class of typography and well the teacher won't be teaching them how to make a text that anyone can use. (For real friends just type in software to make text with and you are good though there is a bit of learning curve that obviously is not taught in the graphic design program at this community college because the teachers are idiots who hardly know how to use adobe softwares even or anything else). I kinda of did not want to tell her anything about her unfollowing me or even making it a state of confrontation. I like to say that maybe when a couple passes by they mistake you for another couple and while they weren't the people to bash on singles person; they revealed to me that all the time I had been bothered by couples they saw me as a threat and with this girl I was no threat at all. I would be said happy but not really in realizing this particular girl was some what untrustworthy. Red flags should go off friends but I was too certain on giving help to people who certainly did not need it.
Another day after that; she looked at me with these eyes-ones that were pure interest in me as I spoke but I ignored them really even when I did actually like her. I did not tell her then and there that I actually liked her because supporting her art being out there was more important to me than me being with this particular girl. That day I spoke to her about the race topic in Houston and how it effects education. Just because she asked and I had to use this opportunity to set the record straight finally because really friends tons of people mindwash people to incoherent truths all the time about certain people that are straight up lies and nonsense and after all the shit I had been through do you think I was going to waste the opportunity? No, needless to say that maybe and just maybe it was a waste of time but honestly I was not going to lie. Another girl that I spoken to passed and prior to that at the begin of our chat there was a taller girl who looked generously at me and the girl I was sitting with caught on...did she really look at me with those eyes later to bait me? But really it was because she actually liked me I reasoned but to say if a person really wanted to continue having this person along with them they should have told them there and then they liked them. But anyways the ship was long sailed and this girl basically after that sitting was not my friend or anyone to be bothered with for up until the last day of school. To say all the time in between she was mean.
She mocked my work Zino Flyboy only a person who has a link to the account would even know by the time period it was launched. What was worse is with her else guy friend and people I never realized she was even over in the next class room ahead of me until she mocked my work..! The worst thing is to hear the voice of a friend bad mouth your work and you are like a ghost spying in but you are not and just over in the other class. Some people can say some colored folk lean over to the white bigot side too much and some people do. Her guy who was probably always there a token of racist entitlement.
Prior to this she had unfollowed my Twitter and friends a person tried to not reblog any pornography and maybe unfollowed every time of nude professional they followed for the sake of not upsetting this one girl. To say that I related this to a person I just met that later said they knew her and even they said it was "rude".
She would say hello to be but always a cringe on her face and after that one time; I sat on that bench in that building with her never should even have considered telling my feelings to her or even helping her at all. How could I have helped her out; my blog literally cares about 3000 views per month which can for some people boost their followings tremendously especially when their art is good and off the view of another artist in which mainly gets the 3000 views per month. If you would see her art it is good. Too bad naive pride and shame of people helping them to even see a broader perspective if not of art but of the world and its education crisis-just lets the opportunity to people to actually see her work. Honestly; its just all to say some people just don't know connections open doors especially when the individual besides his blog has already completed the same degree she is on.
After a while; it seemed as if she actually took time to make herself look pretty or something; valued her appearance more and brushed her hair. She would always leave with that one guy she sat next to and really just favored the identity of indifference and you name it bigotry. A long time passed and maybe made one more attempt to speak to her that did not pan out well but some creepy dude from art bothering the living life out of me. It was over and really I had done not a thing wrong. Namely it was solely her fucking loss. Later on I would go to that bench and no one sat there anyone; it was sad all my effort went to waste but then just maybe this girl did not desire the heart of me nor the effort of me to help her as an artist. I tried to help her not on the merits I liked her but the merits on the matter she could be an artist that people would actually like! I was just hurt in the end but friends why did I even bother to speak with her at the end. I could not leave everything to leave off as it was or her to become someone who in their minds had the right to hate me for whatever reason. The last day instead of going to speak to another girl who was a waste of time and pretty lacking a heart....I went to speak to her to find out why she unfollowed me. Another girl who had smoked her e cig told me I should find out what people do and did for whatever reason. Here I asked her why she had unfollowed me and it was simply because she had forgot or did not even know who was following her from that account. But this person did not get much follows and when people say they are going to follow her~expect a follow that appears later on; it just is them when no one else follows your twitter account. To say clearly lying about that but she seemed so happy from the reblogs and likes that I quickly forgot any level of real importance why I was there. She apologized and I tried to explain the level of hurt she cost me-she apologized and we talked for a while until she had to complete her assignment at the last minute and printed out her assignment and gave me one because I asked. I walked her to her class. Another group of two students assumed we were together.
I was still outside and she communicated with some vigor after leaving the bathroom to reassure me that she just went to the bathroom and would maybe see to say made it to class alright, of course.
I left there that day it still did not feel right; even though I said we could hang out-its pretty clear we weren't but at least this person would be just one of those people to show up later at a great inconvenience and haunt the life out of you. For since that time since now; I had tried to not even think about this person at all.
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