Tsqwinn

  (a drawn image)

   Now, I am to say that I also met another person for hanging out with "thing 1's" new friend group and I basically got along with the individual the most. I mean I spoke to her about three days + basically without the group. Really much; there was some clicking but really this person just was prejudiced and decided they rather not be bothered and they were somewhat sage in their "beginner classes". I am to say that really much, I realized I should not be bothered by a 19/20 year old something person who really thought they were doing the world a favor by doing their basics at a community college or as it was comparable or the same thing as if they were in a four year college. Let me tell you, some people who are at a community college are only there because they could not get in anywhere else and really much aren't that smart. Some people go to community colleges to not be in debt but I am to say some people just aren't smart. 

    What is the point of going to a community college if you are going to have to take four years to get a degree aftewards going there and have nothing of a degree to save you money and get you out of debt. It is a tool these days and in those days of 2019 to have something that would get your ass out of debt. Yes, the pandemic very much makes it apparent the whole debt for hire system of the United States will probably collapse it and its job market. How many youths will have debt over their heads. So many and so many will just have a sort of debt for even trying to get an education. Yea, I really am to say that this person was not that smart, had no world knowledge and essentially still a dumb kid at whatever age they were. I believe it was 19. They essentially refused to speak to me the last day of the semester and embarrassed me in front of a bunch of people.. What it is with islander/asian chicks getting so hard to knock me over? Like they have a sexual fixation on bashing you for you ever daring to show normal and healthy interest.

Alas, folks, the whole thing became a disaster with is individual called Tsqwinn. The big problem was that she just was not a good person, simply no one who hung out the person called Diamond were stellar people. No, they were just terrible persons. My last memory of talking to women that semester was with Tsqwinn. She basically just essentially led me on and just plugged out her support and then just left me speaking to a brick wall. She basically decided it was best to tell me she wanted nothing to do with me by ignoring me in front of a large group of people namely other women I could have invest my time in.  I am to say that I really did not appreciate her behavior and after just trying to tell her goodbye after she blew me off in speaking to me essentially, I just up and left from the mannequin who really thought they were doing the world a favor by being so fucking rude and ultimately embracing some unconventional truths just lies probably spread by the veteran racist they probably spent more time with. 

   There is to be said there was this pitiful nasty soldier who hung out with essentially a bunch of women and then spoke bad about women and minorities and these people just ate it up. It was lunacy and really I was never there to tolerate that shit but just to stay there long enough to communicate to a person called Diamond that I no longer wanted any part in their life and they better get that message. That day I was basically not given any respect from Tsqwinn, I essentially gave Diamond essentially what was a "goodbye poem". The person called Diamond was disappointed as they thought I was going to follow them to a University in Houston but yet it seemed the proper conclusion for the fantasy they had going on. 

    Ardently I am to say that this Diamond fellow was a fucking fool. Her "friends" were just people who wanted to take advantage of a person who had mental issues and really how much rumors did they talk about the person; too much to be friends. I am to say you could not trust these people but to spread rumors about you to people in their group and even their own members. The group was experiencing cannibalization however at the end of the semester and I really don't that it lasted any longer. In the fall 2019, the same day I went for tutoring and saw someone much more important; the Diamond individual was with a completely different group of folks and they were all girls. They were the loudest people in the library and it was annoying really much. 

    I am to tell you that this Tsqwinn suffered from being around Diamond and her friends and their rumor mill and really had a false sense of security in this group of people. I am to say that studying before a test is to occur really is not giving your all and frankly; the group was not aspiring her to be her best. In fact her friendship with the army dude was borderline prying on his sensibilities.  The woman was so comfy laying next to this creep on the day of the flood that she never noticed how much he was to peer at her occasionally. I am to say this guy frankly got inside her head to give the result of the last day with her refusing to speak. I am to say that if there was to be an nemesis, it was this army dude. I even forget his name but anyways the person Tsqwinn is the person I really did have a good connection with up until the last day. Nothing went wrong until the very end and it was so abrupt that something had to be up. But I already knew who it was. The same guy who was getting angry to the point of almost racial slurs because two muslim sisters had taken off with his  lent umbrella was the same person who basically just filled this individual called Tsqwinn's head with nonsense. The dude acted as if he was civilized and not a problem but this guy was demeaning to women and racist. Just because he had one fool black male fool to back up his claims meant nothing in fact that kinda of would prove it especially when someone is trying to play an "Uncle Tom" role.

   I really just hated how much had been wasted with Tsqwinn but at the end of the day; you really had to be a stupid fucker to believe the racist bullshit and stuff this guy from the military was sprouting. I just walked out of that building just really ashamed I just had fallen into another pawn of satan's trap. They could do whatever they wanted but they would never see me again.

    It was simply for the fact that I hung out with Diamond and her group in any capacity that this person called Tsqwinn introduced theirselves to me. The one day I was going to continue to speak to the person called Keyla, all of a sudden they started to speak to me, " are you going to hang out with Diamond and the rest today?"

     I decided it was a plus this person I did not know started to speak to me. I basically walked with her into the main building to spend more time with her. I kinda was torn. The whole effort with Keyla was not going well. I had been able to get her to open up more and more but really should people be coerced? I was going to give myself one more time to confess my feelings to this person called Keyla, but yet I figured I would then do it later. Its not as if the person was particular inviting and really much they did look on as I walked away. Another time they would peer at me as if they were looking for me in the main buildings glass walls. They found me and there was a slight smile. I just looked on at them really at that time. But I am to say that what was magical about the person that just spoke to me called Tsqwin was that they seemed to be nice. I believe they had asked my name and then asked it meaning. I gave them both of the answers. They then said that their name was Tsqwinn and that it meant swift and beautiful in the country their parents were from.

     We went to go sit with the group but the moment I sat there with those people, she just fell away nearest the military dude with a penchant to " take women to bed every night like vitamins"( I am literally saying this guy was a fucking criminal). I was left alone and surely I did go back to try and get things cleared up with Keyla but she was already gone.

    The next time I met Tsqwinn, she was sitting on the 2nd level. I am to say that I went up there and talked to her and she seemed so familiar. She could speak so well. Its kinda of shame that very well you know that she choose to relinquish speaking to you because she just did not believe you were a human and even worthy of being treated appropriately as one by the end. Again she and I went down and hung out with the goons and really much she just went off again to play games with the military guy and the goons pretty much. Did the Diamond character appear? Nope, she did not and frankly that is what got on my nerves. There was no other way to reach her in person and yes folks, I feared that if I did not end our whatever acquaintance she would come after me in some form or another and yes folks-you should fear the crazy as this person was just it.

      The third day and probably the most vital one, I then again met her again at the 2nd level and we sat a while and then spoke. We again went down, yet this time no one was there to join. Frankly, I ended up sitting with her, a person called Jasmin, another person who I can just refer to Goon T. On this day Tsqwinn for an exam. I am just to say the studying fashion of these people was terrible. You had Jasmin showing off her blue bell button after she had gotten it pierced and then realizing she had a paper due and just started to try to work on it. The Goon T was really a person I really did see before in fall 2018. Turned out they were a nasty person and quiet ungrateful. One of those foreigners from an African country that wanted to boost how good their country was yet did they live their still? And how dare they when they enjoy the freedoms of America as well? Basically calling America, a shithole. But its quiet strange how they usually just fraternized with people who sure as hell don't exist in Africa. 

      Their favorite person was the army dude and they joked "how bad America was with him". Albeit this was to be later on. It really does not matter much but even then I really did not like them. Somehow I ended up showing these people my art skills by drawing Goon T. I only did it because such a person is underrepresented in drawn works and really much because really else did not care who I drew. I should have drawn Tsqwinn and that would have made a lasting impact, no? It would have gotten me some favors ahead. I do say it was when I was at the window with these women that Keyla peered at me and I sweated. It did look bad but Keyla just resigned her head downward as if in a sigh and carried on. I just am to say that I sat nearest her every day in the graphic design class so really I am to say somethings could easily be cleared up from either of our ends. But the person called Keyla never showed ever in words that she was concerned I was hanging out with other women. Essentially just seemed to be pleased that I sat next to her in this time. There would be this subtle smile every time I spoke to her. But really, I was not in a relationship with anyone at all-so first come first serve?

     They literally put no effort in anything and maybe at the end of the semester were feeling like they should but were so afraid of doing it. I really did not have time for it. Really on the last day which is the same day I talked to Georgia Snacks, then Diamond and then Tsqwinn; I realized that really Georgia Snacks who had insulted my work was more viable an option that here and more reachable too. Tsqwinn I thought was someone I shared a connection with and really it stems from what happened on the third day.

    The rest of the people left leaving me and Tsqwinn alone. We basically stayed there for like thirty minutes to an hour.. She was studying and I was drawing. This essentially was the closest I got to anyone at the campus in this time period whether you like it or not. I did like being with this person. However they were just to prone and crazy to be a person negatively affected by hanging out by a racist solider who most likely was no clean dude who was clean of crimes of the sexual sort.

    I would only see the person here and there briefly and hardly again. On the day of the rains this is where I most saw her again. Yet this Tsqwinn was tired. She was dressed in pink comfy pajama pants and had a purple fluffy blanket. Kinda she was attractive even in this wear but really I am to say some signals just went off when she just laid three chairs together and laid there. I asked her how she was and this military guy near me was looking at me and then looking at her and then looking at her look at me. I am to say that really I should have just called the military bitch out there and then. Yes, I was devious enough to do it but I saw no reason to do it but give the scum bag a chance to actually be the person he pretended. That was a bad bet. I claimed however at the table I was drawing that I would draw a picture of her as mermaid. She only reluctantly smiled.  She was then like a Venus 2. Of course Venus if you remember is the actual daughter of Moebius. A person who literally slept all day. I was just showing concern in testing if they were becoming as sluggish and selfish as that person. Just doing whatever and believing whatever just to fall restly asleep. I really did not like the aspect of this energetic person becoming such a turtle. Alas the only other black guy there proclaimed in amazement. The real uncle tom to kiss the military man's ass. The military man very much complained about Boy groups from Korea and dissed the notion they were even men because to him and some old men in South Korea, they looked like girls and that they were becoming girls. Very offensive ideas this cunt strewn all over. He basically tried to argue with Tsqwinn's goal of being a teacher and saying the whole job was useless. I mean that aged bad right in 2020 context where teachers are highly valuable even more than they were before insuring missing students from the school system are found? There are literally people who drive around looking to get students back into school because of damages from the ongoing epidemic. Really are they useless when but a life line for the many? People need teachers for all the children that come out from wedlock from military cunts who just fuck around with those they consider" exotic" right?  Yea, we do. But not rapey and murdery scum in their Fort whatever.

   After some british fellow who like Diamond almost tried to kill himself by jumping the railing on the 2nd floor to which I yelled out, "STOP!" ~the fun was over. I mean that too. The next day, I try to speak to this woman called Tsqwinn and her interest in those Kpop bands and really she was just as if ashamed she even liked what she liked and sleeked away from the subject as if she did not hear it. But I am to say this is pretty much what I always did talk to her about much of the time we talked. It was if she was taking cues from the military dude that these individuals were lesser than human and it was not in her best interest to follow. She probably believe the dude's shit about teachers being useless too. I mean to basically to be only begin to study for your final a few hours before its to be had is like you had no proper motivation to succeed. The test was in Chemistry too and frankly you aren't going to pass a test like that by just looking at the study guide some hours before you go into class. Maybe this person could pull it off but I doubt it, another case of overshooting what was acceptable in highschool is not in college at any level. This dude had such a bad grip on her and in the end she would not listen to anything I said. She seemed to want to but really; but decided the military man was God and he knew best and that I should be shunned because my race was inferior to his and that everyone should praise such a pretend hero of the white race. She basically was held in heels in some imperialism cloak this dude had caught her up in.

    I just left after speaking with her for a while. It was too embarrassing. This guy that was everywhere in the main building as if its avatar appeared and granted pizza I saw laying out abandoned. It was to be like a date maybe in her mind and anyone who saw us...because that is what the women around were looking at us like. After I had told Diamond bye and she had accepted that I was not going to be following her around anymore and nor should she expect me anywhere; I basically turned the corner and there Tsqwinn was. I decided to sit with her. I thought of asking her out. But really she would not be the one to appeal. She wore pajama pants and the way we looked at each other there was tension and then suddenly she just realized she really did not like me in some sort of way. The "ugly" the Ollisa individual stuck with me but I am to say that she was not as twisted as that person but just seemingly led astray to try and alter her original thoughts. Did I make her/force her to look at me, the way she did? No, I did not and neither did she force me to look at her. I adverted my eyes and then everything I tried to say, she just made me feel ugly as if I was someone to ignore. I eventually in sort kinda fell asleep there trying to see what I could do. Women started to gather around, this older asian woman passed like a blur and really I just decided to speak some more and just walked away. But really the people looked at us as if I was Pikachu trying to nudge Ash awake when he was turned into stone in Mewtwo Returns. Futile until some tears are shed. Just was talking to a brick wall or a stone person and really, it pissed me off how literally evil just had it way.

    The people look remorseful to me as I left. I very well could have sat with someone but really did not care to speak with anyone else at all. I pretty sure I was red in the face. O, I mean just embarrassed and pissed off and really sometimes I do actually get a red tint that people ask me if I am okay but yet it just an expression of one facing embarrassment and rage. I just left the building and it was over. I was not one to cry. I was not going to shed any Pikachu tears. The concern of the women showed me there were still better people out there and I need not change this person for whatever nonsense they wanted to believe in. I left in good will that day. I just said bye and they, Tsqwinn stayed quiet as a rock. I got the quickest out of there. Many other people would have thrown a fit, curse the woman out and others would have gone to beat up the military guy and maybe break his fucking legs. But not I. I am to say I would not lower myself regardless if people were watching or not and I would be peaceful. I considered this an out to commitment. Whilst if Tsqwinn was a good and self directed person and I actually did ask her out, I probably would still be dating the person because frankly there would not be changes in my position at all regardless of going to a university that was actually a hour away. But yea, I got it down that it just really was not meant to be. If they-the woman in question, really wanted anything of me-they would never have treated me bad. The semester ended badly but with some solutions. At the time I was minorly happy and proud that I had gotten Georgia Snacks to follow me again..yet that I realized was going to no where. Tried to let the world prove me wrong but nothing went well.

Alas a future began that really led me really much hiding away from women even though I did make some later attempts at trying to date, yes.