Georgia Snacks again.

   Black hair, slender frame, usually wearing a jacket, tee shirt and jeans; this was Georgia Snacks. There was a poise and elegance to her a bit. There was an animation of ambitions underneath. She was a good drawer of the sort and really much the only person to land a lasting hit against me. Other folks could be shrugged off. There had been many bad instances in the past and you could always move on but yet this one I could not so easily. It seemed so much a waste after this individual bad mouthed my work. I wondered what the moral thing would be to do. They were just a person who wanted their art to be successful and yea, I could help them and it would be a good act upon the world. The thing is that I was not going to help them if I did with any form of emotion. Really much; only because I realized the great injustices to the artists in this world that I ever wanted to help them. I am to say that only if I just left them alone, they would just fall into failure and a good artist would be gone from the world.  I realized that I could just help them out and then leave them alone. That is essentially what I did. Yet whilst that was a moral aspect for the world alone; there was a great aspect in me that just wanted them to suffer.

    Literally, could not but be bothered by a great problem when I heard them that one day cursing my work. Either support them and help drive away the dark facing artists or rather just attack the person for what they did. I mean to say that folks, this person crossed a fucking line. I was at my lowest whilst working on Zino Flyboy. It was started on Christmas Eve in fall 2018 and not in the best circumstances. Under the roof of unforgiving parents and just bad encounters with women before and just having to do so much work on my works that I was stretched too thin. Yet I still thought out and did the project of Zino Flyboy. With it having 133 pages. I colored it and progressed my own unique style. For any errors to be noted-there were none because art is simply a process. There is only getting better and better.

    Yet this person when they laughed with their friends just hit me two places at once. Just making me realize there were no good people in that area. That many and much  women you could ever meet were just some evil sons of bitches. That this person did not appreciate your art or your progress and did not even think you could get better or do better and that your works where their progress to write off as a joke. Simply, this person had become overtly familiar with me. As if they actually knew me but where belittling every single thing I was about. I had to hold myself back and just be in suspension and not let the rash emotions over take me. I really was just pissed off instantly. It was such a violent shock and one of trauma instant that you realize you could never be with that person. They could not even be redeemed. I basically worked to the bone on Zino Flyboy and if someone was just going to mock all of that and my sacrifices; I don't think their could ever be a real middle ground ever. Something inside you wanted to fight for this person but really; the act was too horrible and too demonstrated to be but an act of hate. Just utterly forced to give up and your heart was just harmed if not crushed more than the twitter unfollowing before. Just a bitter acceptance that they weren't for you. There was no fighting, no if and but, no chance or this or that but in that moment it was all over. Essentially wasted any of the meager strength you had just allowing yourself to me someone who just would hate you. I am to say I felt stupid for a moment and really much realized that I could not act out on my feelings because you know what? It was better to repay such a heinous act with kindness.

   Sure, I kept reblogging their material and liking it too so that it could reach larger audiences and maybe to be said that this only means I only wanted to improve the art scene in my area by this support. Yet, anything to be romantic or friendship or anything; it just was not going to happen...! Also somewhat maybe this person would never realize how big of an insult it is to always have to refer somewhat back to a person whose works they mocked for their success even partially or any success they have today.

   Yea, when I stopped talking to them and things just kept getting worse and they kept glaring at me and just raising my eyebrows to how petty they were; I just realized that I was the mature one. I was a person who was not being malicious and one person who was not out for hatred. I did not believe racism was must as they would speak in their words, " that sometimes its okay to be racist". I was not a fucking fool and really much; I just needed to keep on promoting them so they could never have that hard one victory of visibility from theirselves alone solely. 

   That day I went to meet them on the last day of school after turning away from Keyla was really a day in which I confronted them to which they had done. I don't think I really drove on the real seriousness of anything. Yet I fawned over them as if they were golden. Yet literally what is a picture of their late assignment even going to do for me? What use is a refollow when they do their best to ignore me and just downplay me continuously?  Just for a moment as I left the building with them. I could make believe that everything would be better. That things would improve when literally no effort was later made to make anything better. Alas, I never indulged in the alternative to my literal tolerance. Somewhat to the core of anything realized earnestly recently; that I should have never repressed the emotions of wanting this person to pay for publicly trashing my work. The thing would only grow ever larger as time would and I am to say no one has time in their life to be spending two years on a grievance. They should not. Yes, nothing went well and if anything things just got worse over time to the point I had to freaking and basically mute the person on Twitter. And there I had peace until I unmuted them and yet realized eventually truly that I could just ignore them in the end. They weren't worth the rage and never would be. Ultimately still considering the anger, the best thing was to repair their hostility and brand of bad with good and kindness. I would never be like them, callous and hollow to truths of certainty that make people really act in a heartful moral way.

   I walked away from the worst trainwreck in my life and really much people, I realize that it has had a negative impact on me. A traumatizing one and a one were people are not "anybodies" to be trusted. There is to be said a great hurt. You expect to be able to show people who are around your age, you artworks and face no repercussions especially when you are an adult. Yet truly some people never get that sense of societal civility and don't know how greatly they deride arts from any advancement. The same thing could happen to them and yet they have a lesser course of actions to take for their futile and lacking knowledge of things. It has taken me some time but really it is so disturbing and distasteful to as well not appreciate respect for other people's works but also wishing to do great harm to a person's works and be ignorant of it. Some great trauma of that realization where I sat in that graphic design room and heard from the next room, the insults and the laughter, high pitched and over and over again. Racist cunts just lynching my motherfucking work. Some trauma will always be remembered when I realize my work Zino Flyboy from that time period. And really nothing of an apology can change that. Nothing can and it just sucks that some people think they don't have anything coming for them when they do a bad deed and somehow its right and necessary. Such a selfish desire will never justify the unnecessary harm to a person's hard earned work. It never will because people know their worth and the worth of their actions and how earnestly they worked at something to which someone else cannot even give a fuck. Its simply unfair but some people find it important to be those who never venture and never explore but those who implore a need for wealth where they have not earned it. And those to gain a benefit when it was granted never for such callous uninventive people to take advantage of what they hate. Why should people who are callous, foolish and selfish be even able to take advantage of something they never created and something they can never give respect? Such a fierce violence is faced upon anyone who simply create something and are not white or not white and feminist.

   You can see it in many projects folks but most recently Cyberpunk 2077. If you don't know, the game Cyberpunk 2077 is essentially created by a black man and his team and yet the game is hated and plastered time and time over for the bugs that many games have already and no one ever dares comment on the bugs then. How much violence do people who are not white even get for creating something that jealous racists cannot handle? Enough that it can be traumatizing and even hinder the creation of works. It just is not fair and if a person can say that it is fair and not recognize how damning it can be and unnecessary just for a person to have a sense of validation behind an incorrect ego; you truly don't belong with that person. I would even say the person could go fuck theirselves; people don't need the validation of haters to be successful and people's works are not theirs to hinder and transmute into something which it is not.

    Alas, whatever I saw that day in this person called Georgia Snacks belongs to another world. Simply to be said that no one can be expected to pick you up and solely you must not give people the chance to rub salt and shit in your wounds. That is to be said that somethings just aren't meant to be and really enough you cannot fall for someone who is not even emotionally or mentally that intelligent to begin with. Somethings you never have to question people about and its a fucking absolute they know what the fuck to do and even do it better than you. I am to say that if you ever made to be questioned about a basic thing such as why racism is bad-you just need to find someone better to hang out with.