Mystery Woman.

 High Heels and really not being able to communicate when it mattered.

     I will start to say that usually people don't refer to theirselves in the whole dating thing when you are early 20s something as man or woman. You either use boy or girl but Blogger and 3rd parties have being egging on me for ever using the slang english users who are in the early 20s actually use. So I note that really I want to say " girl" when describing these people and maybe they would describe me as "boy" and did but let us say that censorship is heavy these days and really some people just like to take your words out of context as if you are trying to edge onto minors. The real thing is that everyone was around my age and the youngest people were 18/19. I don't think its a crime to date a person who at the time was 4 to 5 years younger than you. How many people get married to people who are ten years older than them. Namely, it is disgusting to assume that ever I was after to date children when really-everyone was in my fucking age group! Yea, fuck you third parties and whatever strange rando who wants to get angry over shit they make believe from words that don't ever mean what they think.

    Anyways, essentially there was an individual who was somewhat fond of me and I never got to know their name. They were a mystery. They often wore highheel shoes. Very classy and stylish they were. I think that I should have just aimed to talk to them and really would not have to suffer all I did in either fall 2018 or spring 2019. But I did not do that. There were several missteps of talking to the wrong people at the wrong time and so I always missed speaking to this individual. I should have never been speaking to some lurid old man with his hang up that his marriage went sour. That guy was a fucking idiot. I should have instead of asking who she was-as I did not remember them for some reason; I should have gone to speak with them. I probably would not have ever met the Diamond individual if I did if I am to look back. I am to say there is something as being too nice and folks, when you know you don't have it easy in the world of communication and everything has to have effort. Don't waste the banter on people of the same gender when you wish for the opposite or simply was just trying to be nice.

    I never spoke to them in fall 2018 and really much did not speak to them later on in winter/spring 2019. The great reasons to why? I did not see them early on in winter 2019 and later when I would approaching the spring, they were always hanging out with this dude. I thought pretty much they were taken and really much that is what it seemed like. Like I missed the opportunity to even speak to them. Obviously, it is never fruitful to speak to someone who is already in a relationship and they are cordial. I mean do you honestly want to be the person the individual cheats with or the person who gets beaten up? I am to say I did not and so I stayed away. However it would seem that whatever was there dissipated over time. I would always see her when I entered the science building and that's only how I knew. I else did not go to the science building for this individual but to look back on memories of the certain places in the building or draw something or another before psychology. Maybe I would speak to some other women in the building but let me say this individual whose name is a mystery to me today and then would be on my mind. If anything, there were only some people on my mind. The woman who greeted me the semester before when the music building opened back up and this particular woman whose name was a mystery. I started to think one day that I should go to talk to the "mystery woman" since she was not that much with the guy she usually was with. Yet but prior I had thought my chance was over and really much thought to try to find the woman from the music building. The fact I even choose to do such of the thing is probably what undercut me ever learning this individual's name. Let me tell you, that person who was of the music building was not up to anything good and really I just was led on in the end therein.

I would later find that the "mystery woman" had not broken away from the dude she was hanging out with. I ultimately was not going to say anything then and really much the off and on situation just screwed me up. Eventually they stopped hanging out and one day at the top of the science building, I tried to speak to the woman before she went to class. Really I did not plan for anything, just saw her there as I was walking around the top floor. I realize this was a rare opportunity. Yet, as I approached-I could not think of anything to say and really much; nothing came out of my mouth and basically while she paused for a moment. There really was nothing I could think of to say really. People just looked on at me and the teacher who had come to open the door for the class just smiled me after he greeted his students. I just left there in some embarrassment and really much, I had failed at talking and really much I had lost a golden opportunity. I pretty sure that was the moment I could have escaped the realm of mismatched people who stab you in the back. Yet nothing came out of my mouth. The truth is; I had no time to prepare and really over shot my abilities. To be said that I am naturally shy, nothing actually came out at all and really much was just left there wondering what I could have done differently.

   Yea, the next time I saw them-I totally blew it. But really not in the instance that was.  I was kinda of trying to not draw some unsavories I realized I was hanging out with to be interested into this person and their friend by association of me. I mean to say that the unsavories I were hanging out with were two women where I met after one of them approached me and introduced their friend to me. I was trying to figure out why the person who had talked me even: were talking to me at all or even said hello. Frankly I had to stick around one more time to find out why they had approached me when no one frankly does that ever in these days unless something is wrong with them( and from my experience yes, something is wrong with women most likely if they approach you first because they want nothing good out of you). The answer was belittling to be said in truth. But yet I would have never gotten the answer if I did not follow these people up into a study room at all. I mean-a person has to have answers to why someone approaches them especially when its an indicator that they mean harm. So frankly, this was a necessary loss to even not have a target on my back. And yea, frankly should avoid people who are frankly nice people out of such a potentially harmful exchange. Yea, male friendship is but a hinderance when you will not ever be friends with that particular individual.

   I did not get to speak to the "Mystery Woman" because some wacko had to come and think they needed to do some false charity for me. I am to say that it could have been the end of a tortured story in the romantics department  if I had just broke ranks with those people and accept a target on my back. But yet a person rather not like to feel some death ray on their back. And I am to say this person who else I was hanging out with was not a nice person. No, they were not at all if anything they were a crazy person. Their answer to why they even had contacted me was, " Because I wanted you to feel that you were not alone". The answer was very belittling and frankly tried to be the european imperialism brand of "fixing up the native people". As if trying to say that I was a trash person that needed pity and not someone who was essentially a person who was a stranger to them and if anything higher up on the educational ladder. The two people I was hanging out with both had dropped out of their previous colleges but for no good reason! They did not do it to get into a somewhat substantial graphic design program. Not to save money at all. Not because they were trying to start up something of business or a venture of theirs. They failed out because they just sucked. Purely people who were not smart and nor had the best morals. I mean the person who approached me readily was a person who basically dry humped a dude in front of everyone later on towards the end of the semester. I never will forget the moment they appeared at the local Barnes and Nobel acting as if they had done all the good in the world and that we were friends. The thing is that we weren't ever friends and frankly, she was a fucking wacko. I mean her friend was a music major and also an "anal wacko". Whilst her friend was more attractive, she just had those eyes of a person who really chooses to be crazy and thus is the crazy of the crazy. I mean to say some type of sociopath. Not a nice person to speak to at all.

   Alas, I am to say that there was no way out of danger with those people. Even if I had avoided them that day and then spoke to the "Mystery Woman" I am sure that there would have been some danger on either my end or the "Mystery Woman's" end. Really much because of that person the opportunity would just have become one that was not an opportunity at all. I am to say that there are crazy people in the world and yea, I have been around people and the dangerous sort of people to know that when that woman who had approached me asked if I was going to come up with them-the answer ought to be yes. For the fact they were fucking crazy and really much if a person later after this point would fornicate with someone in public-where they could be caught easily and charges of indecency  brought upon them~ would you hold crimes of violence against them. You would not because frankly that is what violent creeps like to do. Have basically no class, no decency and really no understanding of right or wrong.

     The " Mystery Woman" herself was frankly speaking about me as soon as she saw me with her friend. 

"My mother said that if a guy is interested in you, they will speak to you", she spoke to her friend.

    I wanted to blush at that but really my mind was getting these people away from ever noticing the individual. And I was successful at that. I am to say that; it was the right decision. Yet it was a wasted opportunity. Had I never hung out at the front of the school or even in that campy main center building-I would have never met the disturbed person and really would have had a better chance of speaking to the "Mystery Woman". I am to say that they were disturbed. But then again, I would have met them at Barnes and Noble regardless and they probably would have been peering at me( the time they spoke to me was not the first time I saw them at all, probably the third or fourth time in that same studying area if not other places) all the while and then I would have been in deeper trouble when they sought to bring up the fact they saw me at "school". Why do I think this? The time that I actually saw them in the bookstore, they seemed to think it confirmed something as if I was apart of their narrative and really much in some zeal checked out this site (as I gave them a business card) and  literally they probably read a post about them basically fornicating in public and just how much I did not like them. Really much it was that; which turned them away from this idea that I was "their" friend or apart of their little story they were telling theirselves in their head. The next time I would see the same person because I went back to the flooded campus to get a paper checked for the university I was at; they were embarrassed and frankly refused to speak to me as they did before. Had I not met them by the bookstore, they would have probably kept sticking around that place so they could continue to pester the living fuck out of me. They really did not think of me but as an object and not as a person, I am to say from their response that "they had said hello for charity". 

  Alas, there was to be another time to speak to the "Mystery Woman" but they were busy tutoring another dude in a study room as I just looked on and realized there was no way to talk to them without being awkward, interruptive or creepy. Yea, my hands were tied here all throughout the time I had come across the person.

   The first time I even saw them I was just too moody to even speak to them which probably was a great failure that I did not because I was then at the beginning of fall 2018 too dispirited. I then just messed up any opportunity later just by not realizing how much I truly was interested in them. Too afraid to feel anything for the fact of rejection. Wasting all my time on the wrong people. Then later being followed by people who weren't good people that you had to be very worried if they were going to hurt the person you were interested in. Alas, it just ended and I never saw her again. The real tragedy of things. Like all the potential from the fall 2018 was all gone. What they, the "Mystery Woman" could bring was gone. Simply because I just let them go back into the ocean. Truly they were a mermaid. I just did not appreciate them enough to even learn their name.