Don't do anyone a favor showing them your comic collection.

    Woman who I showed my comic book collection to

    It was a mistake. Ah in the fall 2018, I saw this person in a red collared shirt at the end of the recently reopened building where graphic design classes were held. I wished to speak to her but then I did not. I would speak to another person who was not to be a good find of any good company. Alas, time would pass and I would discover that maybe its a nightmare to meet some people whom you can be interested in. I remark that both persons in that same hall in fall 2018 where just trouble in winter/spring 2019.

    I am to say that ultimately what you need to know is eventually I approached the red collared individual and started speaking with them. They talked to me about their car troubles and I talked about how some people did not like me. Especially when I was saying that the individual who wore a hijab I spoke to before nicely glared at me with another person wearing the such. There seemed to be some connection but no.

    The next time, I talked with them, they were interested in comics and wished that they could go to the bookstore. I don't know whose bright idea( it was mine) to bring her comics the next time but surely I would come to regret it. And so the next time I would see her I brought some comics from my personal collection to get the person interested in comics. This properly was only to enrich my future prospects of  gaining an audience and getting someone into the comic book market. It was a selfish endeavor true and true but I thought I should not let the opportunity go to waste. 

     She was somewhat excited that I had brought the books for her to see. Frankly she looked through them all and really thought it was good that I had brought my collection but the thing is that it all was just for naught. I did not expect that later, I would just be ditched after all the effort and after essentially speaking to the person at least five times over. After she was finished reading the comics, she invited me to come with her to study in the computer lounge or temporary library in the graphic design hall for math. I thought I would be getting in her way so I refused the offer. Maybe it was a sign that they were interested but I did not think so and thought it was best they focus on studying for their math test which was that day too. I felt an empathy for them because I really did not care for math at all in college anywhere and frankly is the quiet antithesis of creativity in my opinion. Regardless of what people say in it begin creative. Math is a burden especially for people who don't want to dedicate their lives to becoming math experts. I mean math is the only fucking subject they will try to force down the complex stuff that makes people mathematicians and yet they will never do that with art at all. Never will you see an institution trying to make everyone comic book artists will you or have those level of skills? Not in America.

    Some part of me wanted to tag along but yet I did not and it would have been selfish. The next time I saw them, right in that Academic Building A they basically up and ignored me after all our talks and basically empathy related. I did not think I had messed it all up with them by not coming to the lab with them but maybe they had. Anyways a person probably is not that mature if they hold a person to a fault where they are just trying to help. They never felt anything good probably and whilst I gave good advice, was just another "poser" to them. Really I wanted to yell at them but just subsided," this is the way of their world".

    I am to say that certain people want to make believe they know best and they are first to do things and they need not listen to people's advice and frankly; this person just had alot of bad stuff going on with them which you choose to ignore for the sake of being nice. The person vaped and really let's say that does not pan out good for anyone's future these days. She thought she was cool for vaping and I did not say anything at all. She seemed to think that she was doing a good job at school but she was not even cutting it. She was only taking two classes and yea, if you are last minute studying for a math test that is just two hours away and want someone to accompany you to distract you-you really don't know what you are doing. I mean that is just being a bad student. Also a person cannot advance in school if they just take two classes a semester and do poorly. She carried bad ideas about graphic design, that designers are just the hired help and nothing more. She nearest the end of our talks smelled kinda of stale and really much; its kinda of odd for women not to be smelling good. I mean these red flags just made me realize that they were a person who thought so highly of theirselves and yet did nothing in reality to merit such a believe and that anyone who did the logical thing to be successful was "holding their head too high". I mean; this person was basic a poverty bad doer. People who excuse their harmful behaviors on how poor they are and want to cry when people get ahead by doing the necessary work. She was essentially a person I would not choose to hang out with in highschool as they would just fall behind and think of theirselves cute and just wade in self destruction. I thought seriously that really this person was just trashy and really nothing could ever be real to them whilst coming from me who they viewed as "bougie".

    Kudos, anyone of male and female, if a woman wears a fucking collared shirt and the ones that are a polo variety-please run away because frankly they just endear in a poverty minded world and just want to continue to wade in backward morals and feeling sorry for their fucked over selves. That type of dress is simply for ghetto shits who don't give a fuck about theirselves and just live a trashy life. I am to say that one person else from fall 2018, the one who dareth ask me to take a picture of clothes and style of dress was dressed the same way and frankly wanted to blame people for ever being in the realm of logic and responsibility to work to where they wanted to be. Yes, please avoid fuck people with their trashy sense of "wealth in their silly ugly clothing.

    I am to say that I took a moment after this person swerved me after we had been talking for weeks to say, " okay, she was just trash". And then I moved on. Really much did later take a walk to process things but let me tell you that from experience, the lower class latina that realms in a world of moral scarcity, hunger for power and lack of common sense to reach everyday goals seem to think they can ditch people they have been ultimately friends with when they feel like it. When they fucking feel like it. Like your feelings don't matter and that they really don't see that they are being fucking dicks and lie to theirselves that you did anything wrong. I am to say that really much so people who carry the stench of self hatred are people to literally avoid and if they ever approach you; you surely should shoe them off. They think too big of theirselves to belittle others and misappropriate who other people are at all, all while belittling theirselves. This means they literally go no where and push people away that could help them and they just end up being nothing in life but someone's mother or someone's worker for a minimal wage or under some shitty job they really don't like. It was in that moment these hidden truths I tried to ignore since highschool just came back up. 

   This shit had gotten me pissed off because you know what; it was not the first and it was surely to be the last really. The person who literally fornicated in public was after this incident but let me tell you that I was not emotional invested in them at all but just wondered why? All these people I met from fall 2018 and literally up the point this shallow woman would introduce herself were just all bad people and just used their corrupted version of cultures to just do wrong. I am to say I don't give a fuck about people's ways of excusing their self harm and their crawling like a worm. I am to say that I thought of the woman in the red collared shirt as nothing more than a person who choose to crawl on the floor like a worm. She refused to be anything civil and really much just wanted to treat people as a toy they could play with as long as it was popular or "new" and then toss it away when it disappointed them. If you frankly don't understand-this person was just as fake as them come and nothing could help them. They imagined theirselves great in the world but work, school and everything was just a crutch and really hollow to what and where they were in the world and in their life. Some people just need to tell them that, " you are literally at a fucking junior college, working for cheap and really have no fucking motive in life nor a fucking clue". No one in their life tells them this and no one expects better and them being raised to have no higher expectations and just with trash morals and to be so rude to fake empathy( just to fit in and kiss ass with anyone fucker they speak to)-will never go further than living a life in a dump. And frankly some people love living this life and thinking they are great. Reproducing just the people who add nothing to society ever the more.

    I am to say that my favors for them drop the fuck off the map. If there was a chart, they would have fallen off on a slope so steep. I never wanted to see them again and frankly I did not and if I did- I never approached them at all. In fact just ignored them because really the whole talking to them was a fucking mistake and really could have used that time to actually speak to people, same race or not-who actually know how to treat people.

     I would later talk about this person to this guy who was treated bad in the graphic design program mainly for him not knowing what he was getting into and him being a single father. Somehow people frowned upon that and really much I am to say that he was the only fucking person that had common sense in the male category in the program. He asked me when I told him, " what did you expect in return? Did you expect anything in return?"

   The thing is that I did not and I said, " No, I don't know-its just the way they treated me was bad". I did not want to be treated like shit and frankly whilst the guy did not get the whole story, I realized the importance of being treated well and to some extent realized no one had ever done that even the good people. Like why should the merits of communication always fall upon the male party? Why should I always be the one to try and reach out when no else will put in that same effort I realized. Why do all the woman who approach you have to be crazy?

   I realized maybe even good people have flaws and really much that was just humane but yet some things of flaws can be demanding too much. Why should anyone drive theirselves crazy for a person who won't do the same and why should you fall for anyone who does not keep things on an even ground but decides constantly to make theirselves on a higher ground and refuses an equal ground. Somewhat I was thinking about the woman in the high heels at a point after this. Why should I continue to chase them when they frankly were just off and on with this individual else where they had some drama with? Too much to be up and then down and then up and down again. Why should a person put theirselves in this place. 

    I am to say this was the headspace I was in and frankly I just just had to step out of this skepticism for awhile and whilst I did; this one encounter with this ungrateful woman who reeked of e cigs and smoke and carried a stale scent just made me greatly bitter. I mean certainly some things I would have said before to women because I knew I would not be pissed off to say them or being the one to push some things into a negative light because I wanted to be taken seriously. But now, I was just hurt and I needed to be taken seriously and frankly some courtesy went out of the door in what I would want to say. Really to mean that I was nothing going to play around with people and call them out on their nonsense. But then realized that I could not stoop to the level of trash and just refused to say somethings to some women because really I would say it nice. I would hit them with words they would have to look up in a dictionary. This means essentially that I never took a great deal of a many people seriously and this kinda to an extent devalued those I did.

   Yes, don't do anyone a favor by showing them your comic collection least you want to end up in a cage of repressing anger to a populace that is as immoral equally as it is pompous.