A better writing of;

    I managed to revise some telling of events from before. Noticeably this does not tell the entire story. I usually don't have time to revise or edit any of the posts here but that is what I intend to do for some posts written in the present and in the past. There is always ways for improvement. I removed the bottom paragraphs as they kinda of really don't tell anything that really adds any gravitas or meaning to what was there before. Yea; this is not the final post of Lady Quest but just an open chance for revision of a written article from 2019.

THE HAPPIEST TIME OF MY LIFE PRETENDING YOU CAN EVEN BE LOVED BY ANOTHER.

   I reflect on an entire day where I was a bask fool who believed he had finally found his luck in finding the one. For all the sensibility in the world  and yet for all the fuck, I did not. The day started in a torturous digital media class I took of my own resort. The people there were kids too shallow, their words so silent and their mannerisms so odd as if tortured. They basked then like roasted peacocks floating in the seats of a hellish make believe soup.  Sat there just to play pretend they were even acting their age and yes, by god they weren't. Mostly women and yet others highly awkward men. They are all fucking awkward for the most part and one of the only women who would even speak to you would be  so painfully shy...it was like everyone had turned to the introverted gaze when they weren't introverted at all.

   The woman was cute and attractive, however I did not chase this woman. The person I would I chase that day after that terrible class let out allowing me to finally breathe; was someone from the semester prior. A person who greeted as I entered the music building as it reopened after the community college had flooded due to a hurricane. That one day I saw her again, she was sitting out with an older woman. I went over and started talking with them. It was to be a nice talk even though I kinda would appreciate if the older woman from the music program was not there. I was happy that I really found someone to speak to and she was beautiful in my eyes.

   We spoke about families that day and as I mentioned; it was fulfilling-I could finally relate to this person who captured my heart since she greeted me that day. Whilst talking she showed off her phone up at me, it had a picture of her with a dude who looked kinda similar to her. The phone really much was embroidered by a bunch of neat items and pink icons and I thought she really a creative person and really cared much about the person in the photo. Yet I did not explicitly get the vibe it was their boyfriend at all. They looked too similar but then again that could have been it. It was all conjecture really. I really did not want to think about the picture of her with another dude on it. We talked for  about thirty minutes which the older woman became like a third figure in the conversation. She talked about how her siblings and she had drifted apart from her sister and I related the much the same. And honestly if one is to say something; I thought I felt a connection in me that time and there was no nervous shaking even that it was to be faulty. Only that one picture severed to sever and separate and set apart. She though was the one to start talking about family after I saw the phone and decided I was not cut out of the folds ever at all. The thing was simple: we spoke about families and I felt a connection. It just made me feel happy. She said goodbye and which that she had to go to work in that music building I first saw her in. She was very cute and I did not watch her leave, no, not really at all. One just knows its not going to work out. This level of satisfaction had to come with something attached and really much...whilst there was a connection and maybe she felt it; she very well could just ignore to be apart of a status quo she was accustomed to. One that I might say would be bad. The person was highly religious I am to say and proud of a church that her inlaws opened; such people really aren't the ones to really delve into what is moral in reality and not a fiction they made up from a book to impress others.

    Yet later taking pictures in that same building where people tossed insults and carried on imaginary opinions about the character they made believe you were, Classroom Building A is where I saw her as she came down the stairs and we started talking and relatively it was nice. I offered to walk her back to the building she worked in and it was nice. That one walk. If one thought they could be coupled, it was there but relatively all hopes after she said goodbye were gone. People notice patterns and sights of interference from interactions before and realize they aren't thought of in the way that is even good. But just a person to which can just be played around with. Why did she ever say yes to me walking her back if she did not want to exploits someone's willingness to be with them? Or acting as if they were single? I never knew then she was with someone else but at the end, it was like she had to check herself to get back into a frame of mind or that she had slipped up from what she would like to be about. If you say that the frame of mind she had to get back into was working; she was already doing that as I was walking with her. No she had to go back into a rigid status quo and in that moment; I kinda of did feel closed off. But then I realized I was reading too much. This person, this dream individual possibly could not just be another clog in an unyielding system of wrong? Apart of people who frankly don't believe people need to be treated as equals and believe their religious context is true morals when it sheds so much blood?

      It did not really hit me until I got a real inference when I saw her and her friend near the vending machines and microwave. Her friend was so glad to see me somehow, normally I would have smiled at that but not when I cared far much more about the woman than her friend. I was just tried of pumping myself up just to be put down anyways. How many times do you get these gazes from women and yet in the end it fall all upon you to do anything at all or else you are the odd man out? Even when you do much of times-there is a chance you will even just encounter a very bad apple or a person who just will choose to distance theirselves because they don't like you nor your race. What the girl actually said to me was such a loss to me but maybe recognized the existence of her boyfriend and if honestly to God~ just so damned tried of everything as if floating in a nauseous stew Not a stew like those in the graphic design class, I was not delirious or out of reality; I was sickened in a real perspective. The friend else with her could not possible know anything of contexts or even know of past events. She was just seeing another person who she could be matched with. I did not blame her but I was not keenly interested in her after such a big let down. I just drifted away. Of course the women I liked and her friend questioned to why I was in a sad mood.  Maybe I had not be cordial enough to respect the interest of the friend but really enough; I was just led on and that was just that.