Saturday the 29th.

     Now, this is truly the end of October, alot of things happened in this month and that was the formation of artistic direction in the process of making things, how they would be made and how they would have form. Noticeably this month focused on creating a style where all the drawings on lined paper would be removed and they could be interchangeable. That is to be the lined paper would be turned into prints and colored any form and fashion I saw fit. I think enough this month is where I start to develop the comic method I would use and still use today.

     It was on this day on October that I took pictures of some of the images I had for Dessacrow Academy and tried to remove the lines. I had research the night before and this channel on youtube called Jazzadraws or something like that showed how in photoshop, you could do such a thing. The problem was that I did not and truly could not scan things in. So basically the video only gave me some ideas on what to work with. I think that really it helped alot with some ideas on how to make the drawn picture appear better. I still use the sharpen feature today.

     I then tried to color the whole Cosmic Mereverse in that day using what I learned. Yet it was on lined paper but still usually I only traced the lines of the drawings on the paper. This was the first time that I did not do that and instead modified the paper. Really much this was the beginning of a coloring effort that would take a bit to complete-some days forward.

     As for the conditions of the day, I was also again distancing myself from school and the toxicity therein. Yes, some people would be best to realize the world does not center around them and everytime I went to school these people were out to make it living hell. I really for one could care less whatever was their problem or their exact thoughts on me, I just wanted these punks to leave me the fuck alone. Of course, there were no people to be of exact animosity inside the house to where as they were else. Yet I do not cower to see some people do in fact need their heads examined.

    I was very going at on this day to complete my objectives. That is to be said, you often have to do hardwork to make anything work and its not about what others think at all. It would not be selfish to want peace in your life and to be constantly bothered while engaging in peaceful behaviors that are of no one else's fucking concern. There in my room I could truly be myself away from all the evil and all the people in the world. This is to be said I realized I had been voided of peace, violence had been enacted upon me time and time again-the social one and that which was trying to lead to actual violence and just tried to be forced to the character of overbearing mental sickness. Such is the stuff people just try to put on black people time and time again. A person was wounded but not defeated. People could not never later realize one crucial thing; a person only was wounded because they have a human heart. These other people did not have such a thing. It is such a farce I realize that you think you can go somewhere like the first college and think you are going to meet "civilized people" but all you met are souless thugs who could not care about standing for theirselves, living for theirselves or even thinking for theirselves. These people disgust me. It is only because a person is of society that they can even forgive these people I then realized. These people were just sad people and really they were not going to stop me in what I had to do and I was not going to be forced to fight them or any shit like that. You don't need to concern yourself with clogs and their hive works network of detestable behaviors. I was motivated in these thoughts. Things were moving but yet I wished everything would be as normal and the situation would revert to normalcy albeit I started to realize these people would never albeit at their behaviors. To get to the end and back to normalcy one had to everything theirselves.

    This did put alot of stress and strain on me but you should realize at the end of the day, a person would not lose to these freaks. Whilst a person maybe had accomplished their goal of talking to the girl and all the such three times this month and at the very day before-nothing felt as if it was even going to be good.  Deep down, the social life was already destroyed and broken because of a little hive network and the pretentious and promiscuous shits in it spreading their lies and their gospel of lies. Truly, when people just buzzed you off, I really was as if they were just newly indoctrinated to hate you or came to their senses to do just that for imaginary rewards that would never come. To be said you be shocked, disgusted and felt very betrayed. These people would be people who would sell you out and if not would probably be ones to do you physical harm if they needed to. I am to say that surely enough, I feared this in all the people I talked to and it would always come to pass. Even after the influence was basically great weakened in 2019; people still were convinced they ought to treat me wrong to receive "rewards" and/or simply be amongst a group.

     I really had doubts about the girl I spoke to and really just kept to myself and kept the thoughts of their could be betrayal out of my mind but deep down I knew it was coming and this is what I thought of as I worked. Yet despite the great and grave social harm an academic institution would do to you and your social life because of their basic evil and culture of indifference to blacks and just anyone sane person who is not a racist or love being one, a person had to basically abstain from vengeful thoughts but be focused on making decisions that truly brought the end of an atrocity and an utter pest to your life. Honestly would you like the cookies from advertisers to continually bombard you with products and projects and ideas just because you visit a site once? I think you would not. I think you would want to clear the cookies. I think you would want to clear the people viewing and eyeing you from your life in the same fashion. The cookies will still exist but not tracking you. 

       There is to be said some organizations do not respect the sovereignty of people by their race, religion and what they choose to do for life indeed and will stop at anything to harass, degrade and try to control people they don't like because they think they have the power to get away with it. But truly, they come from a very pretentious way of thinking and being and whilst they posture to not realize your human life you must come to realize that they are truly against it and just must not be egged on to attack anyone physically or anything of that nature but truly will through action and commitment-things that go against their beliefs. By just continuing to excel at what you actually want to do you already win even if these people seem to think they win by all these people they get to nag you and others. But yet they don't win because in reality all it takes to truly defeat them is to rebel fully against their natures, their ideals and all their messed up philosophies. Set the people who had these cotton pickin ideas straight by not even letting them the satisfaction of true physical rage. There is to be said that a person would not be provoked no matter how many foolish blunders into people's social lives that an institution would take. I mean to say the people at the school had brains, many people there were adults and I cannot be the only smart one alive to notice basic borders in the sand. The people knew something discriminatory existed and yet did nothing to stop it. 

    They but embraced the philosophies. A person just realizes if anyone could turn on you-they would not be the one for you. But it is the university's role to provide such an environment that destroys people's privacy and their entitlement to a social life not impacted or bullied around by others? Its so very suspect these days to me when you have all these republican oriented people proclaiming masks are a violation of their civil liberties when you would have organizations run by their people that simply exist to get into the business of others and run it. Simply some organization just to evade people's civil liberties because they view theirselves higher than the people in question and think they can just do anything to people and it will turn out all right in their favor. It was not the responsibility of a university through it culture and its sought actions by members of its organization and connecting organizations ( as in the community college) to enact harm upon people's social lives. Truly let people figure out for theirselves  that people would sell them out and yet maybe then people would be pushed to think their depravity would be reward so that such a thing becomes a constant habit and then a character trait within them. When and which you think of how many people are endoctrinated by higher education schools to think immoral behavior is okay; they truly just promote people being scum in society. That is the conclusion in which I came upon that day. Truly everything schools do is all for play, pay and never genuine and they surely underestimate the character of people when they want to play god. When you try to play god do not expect that another one is not just going to punch back.

Maybe this could be the punch back.