NOV 4th

 November 4th

4 Friday

Design 1-2d was a pretentious bowl of shit. The teacher handed people back their "forgery assignments" and these asshats were so busy talking theirselves up as if they were real artists which of course they were not. That class again did not need to be three days long a week. It was a feeling one constantly thought and to not to write that would not be giving a good representation of events.

This was the day in which I met the girl called Brittney from Cosmetology. She remarked on my picture I did not like. I did not like this person later on as really much where just trying to sell their cosmetology service and just be a racist piece of shit and tried to control people in their little fantasy world of 2000s WB show where they were the main character with their family, house and farm. I mean to say that person should have just stayed over there. If you have to drive 30 minutes to be here and then want to treat people like shit later after you come to speak to them; fuck you. I tried to be nice and I thought I had made a friend but as it turned out, I had not at all. I really thought there was a romantic chance as this person was the person in which I spoke to the longest though really much they were just talking to sell their shit. Really much be fake nice to me, this convenience machine operator and this other dude working at the school. Being so nice and campy, coming from her it was fake and just all fake.

Somehow I got it in my mind that really this was just a bizarre reaction to events and just maybe if some phenomena showed up nearest them then it was truly not them. I mean there are some serious wacked out and crazy things in this world and this woman was like a force of nature. I mean that. Anyways my mind tried to distance myself from the easy admiration I felt which when I came across prior meant nothing good. I tried to equate the "reward" of meeting this person to cookies. Or that I needed a reward. Hopefully this would wake me up but I could get out of the part of me trapped in some projected reality where things could work out with this person. You know things are bad and fucked up when things are just like this. Judging, you cannot date a person when this person in your eyes for how easily impressioned upon they would be to inflict physical, mental and social harm upon you. It is to say that person tried to get their mind off this girl who was just another trap to fall upon and injure thyself. I would say that she was just another clog in the idiot machine that thought of theirselves so special to their learning environment and that everything was just for them to come about their age of "prestige" when they have very low standards of what and how people are to be treated in such a learning environment.

I went to the Target that day with my mother after school as she picked me up. I remember she allowed me to buy some strange limited edition oreos that were cake flavor or cake themed rather.  I went into my room to continue drawing the Mind Games work I had been working on before. Honestly, we later went to the restaurant Jason's Deli and there were a bunch of old people there. This is where I got the image of the samurai from, a community member. They were really trying to inspire me.

The night ended with me deciding to continue to work on Cosmica and just in general try to relax. I like to read manga every Friday to better my skills and story making skills. I am to say I took pictures of the recent Mind Games work I made that week if not the previous day after I came back from the first college in which I went to. I believe I tried to remove the lines and started coloring the work.

How badly I want to be with the girl called Mariam back then and to be her only one and true lover. I was a fool but yet this sentiment maybe just was not aimed at her but a person just like her.

11/4/16, 9:08 PM

Jamie

oye, how is it going?