Efforts and Ties The July to fall.

     So, wow. Already the 11th day of July month. It has been an adventure for these years and these years, all the July's. I think that a person deserved better on the road to complete their dreams. Not always been in th best of the places. I mean 2016's July was when I burned myself out and also stressed myself out about women who really need not be bothering with anyone if not how to complete many different comics all by myself. I mean 2013's July, I was hoping I'd find some people to help me make comics and I would similar help them! Nothing went as planned because what? People are fucking shit!

    I come to tell you folks, that if you need anyone to give a fuck about you and your dreams-they won't come and assist you. They won't. The only times people come through are what? When everything you do is self driven and they can give the minimal of a fuck to you until they recognize they either like you or they hate you. Yet people don't need to go through all this fucking crap. 

    From real life perspective when approaching fall 2017 from July 2017, I realized that a person had to guard theirselves from bad people of all types. Never give anyone a chance to interrupt your goals. Not even give them a chance. This work to success but really a person had to lock down many things. No, no one is going to out of their way to speak to people at some community college when they are likely just to be very stupid, very egoistical and very tantrum throwing folks when they don't get their way. I am to say that no one is going to just throw away time and effort at people unless they perceive they have some advantage to get said people alongside them. 

     This brings us to fall 2018, essentially a person did not trust anyone really at all in these places but just perceived that some would respect your educational gains to that point but I digress to say that they did not. Because they were fucking stupid and full of shit if not had mental issues. Not all people were bad or had mental issues, I was later to recognize but the overarching threat you know of people prevented you from actual interacting with them because really do you even know these strangers? What they believe, who they trust, what they would do for a goal or ideal sensationalized by colleges and community colleges especially ones that make up myths for people to hate you and people like you? I am to say no one would give these people a chance. Alas, at the time you would also realize that you had long stopped longing for people to give a fuck about helping you in your projects. There was no point, none at all and really much-why would anyone be bothered when you already went through so much disappointment from others in any creative capacity and would only continue to be shunned by people who could have otherwise helped you.

     The only thing that remained was the romantic efforts but that even just went south and sour because people are just incorrigible assholes. One person had the audacity to say I was doing anything to them when all I did was just take a picture for them one fucking time out of the kindness of my heart and then tried to be nice to them not thinking they were just taking advantage of me. But they were and ultimately would say to me sitting down, " I don't like you following me!" When of course the campus is just a small community campus and there is only so many places you can go where this other mother fucker would not also go. Instead of being friendly this asshat walked off as if they were privy to some outlandish lifestyle of privilege found at a community college saying to anything logical like " its a small fucking campus, I was not following you!" with " you see that is what I am talking about". Some people think their beliefs are the ending of everything and the final word but it never is because they are just narcissistic and full of theirselves and literally don't know the true extent of folks who will not tolerate their shit. Yet they are guarded by their church folks.

     I can also point out that if you expect anyone to buy anything from you or 3rd parties to also respect your numbers, no, they won't and ultimately will just place you last in every regard. Tapas, a mostly Korean oriented imprint literally could not give fuck about people of color who are straight. Let's just say that.  I am to say  as well that ultimately people who view this site ultimately don't give a fuck about me or this site really but just want free shit. I am to say again, they just want free shit. Never thinking about how this boorish disposition could ruin just anything.

   Yea, for many when they wake this site will always be there but what if it was not? Would you even appreciate all that you saw or even feel anytime of loss? The thing is that folks, you would be by not appreciating this site or even giving any money to the site would just be pushing it off the net and that is what you get when just let people view for free and disrespect you. Its clear by now, that really enough-no one ever from any outsider or other person even dared to respect my art.

     In spring 2019 this one person disrespected something I had spent alot of time working on and they laughed it! Oh, just with anyone but a bunch of fucking racists who looked and acted the part. I am to say that really much a person tired to be so nice to try to salvage whatever a little fucking relationship there even was with this person but one person cannot save a relationship of any kind. They weren't even a friend!  Going further transferring to another University and the last one, the art dean would not help you whatsoever getting into anything and ultimately hated the fact that there was a minor for graphic design when they were the ones who created it! They hated the fact that they had to accommodate people not attached to the crushy and pomp filled bullshit art program. Never go to art school folks, that is only for clowns, apparently. That is to be said no point in my educational experience aside from maybe elementary school did anyone help me with any of my creative projects. All they did was take away, harm and endanger! This is all the legacies of the educational places and their true pursuits. To control what people do with their minds and engage people to hate others because they are different races and don't fit into racist stereotypes. I don't think people should have to make so much effort for other people to not be anal about your existence and/or try to discriminate. A person is black but what is that to you? Just for all intents and purposes 2019 was a romantic waste of time. 3rd parties just ascended to be the jerks of the century and then and yes then no one bothered to see the worth in supporting this site.

    Then we get to 2020 and see the rise of assholery. Rather people cannot do anything unless it benefits them and their make believe inner reality versions of things. You cannot wear a mask. You cannot stay the appropriate distance from people. You cannot behave nor believe in common sense reality or science and think you are the chosen one when you are just a grunt to racist regimes and just violence and stupidity!

   I look around and realize that there was nothing to gain from working with anyone in this time. People are so painfully stuck in their own little realms of comfort and just will not do anything to really succeed but follow these contrived pop culture trends with cosplays and art. Its a fucking joke, to think that people thought there was going to be some type of artistic revolution when many people are just kept grunts for corporations and they do not even know it. Have no form of discipline but would leap in front of a train for money if they could akin never noticing that is what they do every time they they attend to one of these pop culture trends. Nothing comes from conformists and especially in art, there is to be no innovation in that!

    Get to 2021 and people think the world is going to change but it won't when you have people who will not do their part but just be like crazed animals jiving to their own groove and never realizing reality until its too late! Its just that people never show anything of their true potential but just stay so egoistical and just believe stupid and evil bullshit that does not for society.  Deep down when it comes to people ensuring this site will survive, they are never there. The real world has shown time and time again people are incapable of this and just want to believe they have no impact on anything, are innocent and cannot be held accountable to what they make worse.

    I think that I will ask no more for any support. I will take the impact of whether I succeed or fail out of the hands of people.  I will take back the potential that was lost trusting behind people. That of dreams, that of collaboration and that of romance, my assets-I take them all back. And you can have the fact that you did not help at all when you could have. And leave all the people before that they failed to even be "civil" or even be humane in anything and just about everything. There is no more future in false hopes, only regrets in ever trusting them to begin with.