the educational aspect.

 School Background'

    This was the last semester for the graphic design degree I needed folks in winter and spring 2018. Just one year ago I was at the end of the rope but now I had come out better, I was going to be a better place and getting MK MZODERN back on track and doing what I need to do to make my dreams become reality. Now, I went to two community colleges.  One was flooded and of the "affluent republican" mind and while it had diversity-no one really cared about racial issues or was even knowledgeable or cared about them. Pretty much these people were pampered with a vision of superiority as long as they went to this campus. The head of the graphic design program was a fucking racist. Let's just acknowledge that. Pretty much Hurricane Harvey had damaged this school. However it still had more tools and racist gaul than the other community college.  The other community college I went to for one class as well as the other one, was mainly just of minorities. Really much it had such limited resources for the graphic design program and you were just being sold an inferior idea of what graphic design was. It goes to say that it was a bunch of fucking nonsense. To illustrate this, the program the teacher was using to create the websites was going out of commission, meaning that Adobe was not going to support it anymore and there would be no updates and no customer support. It had no real opportunities for coding but the other campus taught coding really enough but I am to say even you would not learn it there if you did not already know it. I am to say that this program was very dishonest and really enough while the program at the other school wasn't great at least you were learning things that actually where in line with real graphic design no matter how shitty it was taught or at all. This community campus was reading graphic design as another subject and it just really shows you how people of color are often at disadvantages in schools near them. They only  seek to deprive them of the real opportunities to gain skills and learn. Whilst republican tended colored folks took for granted access to information of what they should have and the tools they would have in their classrooms. Pretty much I am to say even the head of the flooded department had some pretty choice words about the minority campus," I would never take classes there for graphic design". And then to me on the first day of his portfolio class because he did not like my portfolio, and you should know I am a black man quote, " If you are not serious, you can go and fuck around at the (other community college for minorities) and do whatever they are doing". Truly folks. I am to say that this was a toxic environment. These two classes would take so much out of you. Never was not anyone full of bullshit and just spite for doing what was right or even teaching anyone anything at all.  I mean act like a savior when you are just promoting race disparities in education-and that is all these two teachers of these two graphic design classes were.

I had one class that was an online art history class and that one was more civil and non toxic. I actually had more fun in that class than the chore of either those two classes.

The best way to describe my times in these classes are by the different days where and when I would take these classes and assignments would be due. Yes, it will be great and good to say if organized in this manner, you would get everything that happened at "school" if you want to call either community college a school at all. You will probably need to sit down and hear this but really it was all just cutthroat. So cutthroat that people were truly clueless to what they were even being subjected too. Only strangely enough certain people from the minority college would not continue on the path of graphic design and even tell me such the next semester over when I had graduated. However, some rude girl who greeted me on my first day back, would have a chagrin of a smiling demon because she had been of the portfolio class and gotten a high mark so she was a "real graphic designer" despite just being someone who ultimately would not have much career options with a 2 year associates degree in graphic design. If you actually look up the specs for graphic design, you only really advance in a career if you have a bachelor's degree of some sort either a minor or one strictly in it. The person herself was not focused vocally as she passed with her friends that she was not going to go to another school.  Both people were people of color but yet one really enough was just more convinced than the other they were going to be successful because pixie dust had been spread on them. The individual at the minority campus had more common sense to do something else in her opinion that would actually get her a career. I am literally to say that people could be so stupid alongside you in the portfolio class and the whole graphic design program at the flooded campus, they thought passing this portfolio class would make their career and enable them to get a good job. Nothing could be further from the truth. Ugh, literally these people at the flooded campus weren't smart by any means and literally just the type of stupid like a Trump supporter. You can tell them that they have just been played by a guy who make believes he is a businessman(here a graphic designer of any great authority and then has garbled thoughts that conflict his prior messages of authority and alot of backtracking and "fake news" accusations) to think they are special! They weren't special at all. Literally, these people were made to believe this 2 year degree would save them from working another job but really is that what you go to school to do? Is this even graphic design or passion behind it? No, it was fake and all of it was fake too. Say that again. Really enough these people were just led to think they were smarter than another group of people. They were better, " I ain't that negro, I am not trailer trash..." Yet these people wanted a life that was out of their grasp because like the other people at the minority campus they were uneducated and really uneducated about the real graphic design industry without a Trump like individual holding their hand and stroking their fears and only cosigning to get them to make life harder for theirselves.

I mean let's say a teacher gets an opportunity to talk about higher education and if it is worth it. Really enough a guy who was like a peon to the teacher was like, " do we really need to go to a 4 year college, I really don't want debt". 

The teacher's response was like, " there really is no such thing as a graphic design degree, its all a bachelors of arts and really I just got lucky and I am so thankful that I did, I was just straight out of college..."

So basically the teacher's response was all about how he. All about he had privilege. I am to tell you he was white and really speaking as if he had all the tact behind the graphic design principles. And yet he said," I really am not a graphic designer anymore. I am more of a multimedia guy. I really don't know about these modern programs. Just try to employ people who know what they are talking about". Literally, is this an omissions corner or circle for drug addicts where all your sins are to be spoken about? This is the attitude he spoke from much of the time after the first 3 weeks really. Especially when this guy who was also white asked him that particular question, this simple attitude continued as if he was so good and so dandy and this guy who asked him was separate and on his own. His answer was essentially not an answer and the dude was like,"hmph". Really dissatisfied with the answer and questioned himself probably in his head,"should I even ask that question when that response was 'do as you are told so his accountability is not openly challenged even though he hopes to be accountable by putting out his truths'". Literally, there is nothing funny about asking a serious question and getting a facsimile response in return. " I am going to live?"

"No,I have no idea if you are".

Not alot of help. So folks really enough these people were led on like lure on a fishing rod. Really enough folks, the people at the flooded campus had warped perspectives on their future prospects and really enough no one carried to direct them the proper way. So yea, let us call an attention to the point that really enough the high point of this whole fucking semester was May 2 where they had a Portfolio show of sorts and let's say not everything was all to be kept to this notion of a fantasy being contained. That people were going to be successful. No, that was the day things started to leak out and people realized that, "oh, its over". Yet the day the dude asked the question was on the day where the teacher again insulted me and other people mainly all the other men in the room who weren't white that," ya, did not put in the work".

The guy who was the teacher and department head, basically insulted me and said, " people in their critique of you could not hear what you were saying and did not understand what you were saying". Then he marked me off by changing the projects' parameters for what I was supposed to have. I mean enough to say that maybe not everyone speaks the same freaking lingo and well people probably just placed that there because they are insensitive to that fact; not everyone has the same freaking lingo. Was I supposed to yell? Yet, I even found pictures from the school itself and the school itself of that event and people were smiling at what I was saying even in one picture particularly. Where they just pretending to be nice? Or was he just listening to the white students only? Surely folks I am to say discrimination just broke through clearly at this moment of critique of not only me but other's works if not from the start of the semester. Oh yea and we were all people of color. 

So yea, I am to say that really enough I was not a pawn to be guided to some believable nonsense as the teacher would like you to believe. Very independent minded from the rest of the people and did things away from their way of doing things and stylistic choices. I am to say I was forced to even redo an assignment I turned in early because the guy did not even like what I had created. I had to wait till I was grouped with everyone for him to go and say," its alright/good". I mean enough and enough the level of pretentiousness held by the teacher and people in this classroom just made them bound to fail or just lucky enough to be "privileged" enough that they never fail even when every merit about them is not real. " I am not a graphic designer", the teacher would say and then grade people hard on graphic design. Like what is that? Unfairness to its greatest degree.

I mean, you the reader can look up these freaking images taken by a former student of the school, who is a photographer and really enough they were taking nothing but the pictures that I could but make funny faces in some of them because you knew they were there. I mean, I was kinda of much cut of the ones you will most immediately find but if you look up on flickr, you can find these pictures and even see my face and how classy I was dressed that day and particular planned expressions of sorts. You can also see the woman so priding in her false fetched future of opportunity primarily in these pictures. But you find me at the back. That's where I sat. Though I won't give away these opportunities to see my face without any effort.

Alas, folks, the school experience of winter/spring 2018 was just one of basic torture if I look back on it. Having to be by people you don't like, people who think so highly of theirselves where reality says "there is no logical way" and people so misinformed what advancing a career or having one at all will even look like. You can see if you find these images that I was bored out of my mind. Yet things were really horrible in the backdrop of things, true and true. This will be further explained in times to come.