Going to school and wishing to do something else.

 Everyday I would get up for these classes either the morning or still the morning and then ponder what if I never had to go to class, what works could I do. What person could I become? Without the burdens of these three classes you would just take to get credits? Eventually the bed I was in became a mystical place in which I wanted to stay all day long in and really much I decided why wait at all to do anything of what you really wanted? Yet, I did not do it all folks but what I could manage to do.

I tried to make my mornings fun and always made waffles. The ones you buy frozen. I started drawing before classes especially the Tuesday and Thursdays I did not have to go until either 5 or 7 and from memory I actually believe I went to class at 7 pm and left at 9 pm or even 8 something because the teacher would let "us" go early. These were very long days on the Tuesdays and Thursdays and it could feel even longer amongst the gullible and stupid people in either location but especially the "lacking program" campus. I am to say there is no excuse for adults being so stupid and so trusting when the information is literally a click away and what they aspire to be. I mean literally how hard is it to type in graphic designer and find "real examples" of graphic designers and what they need in the modern era. Not hooky pooky connections that would never work for anyone who never achieved them in the vital times necessary to even be cashable. 

Oft I really hated waking up on Monday and Wednesday to be around the self imposed idiots and their self appointed master. The great example of why people don't want education and even if they try for it, they get the worst of it in ever sort of numbing capacity. Literally there is a thing where you can complain about your educational experience and demand better treatment especially when and where there is a racial inequity going on but no, no one stuck up for theirselves. I, really had too much going on and really bettering the program at this community college then was the least of my concerns. The teacher of the class I took thought he was smart, he was some sort of big wig and some sort of great person but really-no one could learn anything from his classes and frankly you aren't going to get a graphic design job listening to advice that never works and is even antiquated and even in the time of which and were it was of the "now"-it was still bad advice! Literally all that class taught was nothing. Graphic Design is not about forgery or coming documents that other people created. The guy seriously was a fucking Donald Trump. All the class was about was forgery! None of those people learned basic concepts from the class and even at the "flooded" campus, people at least tried to tell of the basic graphic design concepts to help those who had not taken their basic classes and somehow took this class because they had taken the one before it but nothing else. Kudos, if you did not know and I probably did not tell you but for the basic knowledge of what happens in a community college circuit is that all the campuses are supposed to offer the same type of classes. They are to be instantly equatable. But I am to say the classes at "hooky pooky"community college were not even in the same grade level as those in the other community college that flooded. You weren't even being taught the same material.You were being treated like trash, like garbage and fed garbage. Nothing more and nothing less and well even this place did not get me down but I really hated going to this place. You see this community college was and is near my former highschool and yes you really can say that in extra circular activities and classes in highschool, diverse students get the short sticks and lacking resources that mostly white schools get. It just reminded me of the bitter past and how inequalities were still present. I mean don't get me wrong, the colleges of flooded and non flooded are basically the same aside from the creative industries aspects at least in what is taught.Yea, truly and really enough people don't care much about the creative industries to actually give any thought to what they are and just let bad men and women teach in either location but especially unqualified and false Jesus's at the non flooded campus.

Literally being in that class two days a row made me sad for a long while. Depressed even and really just distraught on how stupid people actually were and like really probably from life experience should have known what is going on but really they were just unintelligent and so gullible it really had nothing to do with their racial appearance at all but their honest to god values. They did not care. They wanted to act as if this bad A step would get them to the actual B. I am not going to make a big deal out of what did happen to many of these people in this class but its easily determined. These people lacked self determination and unlike marginalized children they should have at the point of adulthood realized what they needed to do to succeed and what tools they needed and that they were being cheated out of their money's worth and even discriminated against. These people were like, " we are adults and we care not to know anything just let us drift into graphic design, teacher you do it all and so we can drift out". The thing is they did not want to succeed. Many people after this one class just quit the graphic design program at their place. Really much reflecting on how many people of color just drop of something because they aren't given the proper resources and learning. Oh, these people eventually woke up to the gimmicks of the teacher and when they did-could not think more of graphic design but how the teacher used them to build himself up. I am to leave out an important conversation with a person I would later speak to in fall 2018 even though it is how I even get to what I wrote above because it is a story all its alone. And what this girl would say would depress me for a long time. What hurts is really that these people were so gullible and lacked the convictions of the mind to succeed and really is simply their fault for believing a lie and just warily going back to their slave thoughts when I challenged my grade at the end of the semester. They were like, " we don't do that here!" Some people were even afraid like this one girl or some who never showed up to the following class( I again had to take one more class in winter/spring 2018 to graduate). The college readiness and just home training was not there and really enough the teacher filled in no great gaps but used the students to fill the gaps within himself.

Oft it does not get better if you to flooded campus, the teacher was the same exact thing but not deluded, not twisted and very much more successful at his "personal business" of being a graphic designer. Oh this guy knew what he was doing. He knew it straight. More a sinister vibe to these Tuesday and Thursday classes. Even more of a threat these classes were in the aspects of how the teacher and other students just targeted you in the critique and no one said anything heavy handed to pan others as imbeciles in the critique but you. This place of course was not perfect at any regard but at least it held the values of what a graphic design education should be or what you expect when you sign up. I mean folks, to even know what a graphic designer is, you probably should have done some research already and alot of it. I mean people don't even know what "graphic designer" are these days and I know from experience that people don't. These people were about as diverse as the other group of people in the nonflooded campus. The thing is they were educated to what they had to do to succeed in college and as a graphic designer for the most part and more self driven but to add to that self driven were racist and just really uneducated on many other things. While some or many could be self driven some people just led on the examples of " the teacher is supposed to make me successful". Same as the other folks, these people just were not college ready and really had no form of self motivation. Many of these people just dropped out. There is a story I could get in about some people but I won't for the sake that it does not come full circle until later. Yet here the worst variety of the people were those who were friends or aim to be friends with the teachers and try to appease their political opinions. I am to say if you are a white old man who rants about Obama when he is not in office and you get other adults to blab about it as if they are truly concerned but to gain favors-lets say you are a fucking racist.

I really did not like going to these places and trying to live life whilst going to these places was not and adventure nor trek but an advent. You could see everything was temporary. Once I got through with these classes I realized, I would be in a better position. A way better one. Never have to deal with such drama and such people who indebted trauma. Alas, I once again did not wait to do what I wanted and was better off for that fact.