(pero)
Okay, so yea. A long time ago in fall 2013, I took this history class. This class had a lab connecting to it, it would be on Fridays and the most annoying class in my opinion. This is to say I rather be left alone on Friday. Friday was when I had to go to an equalably and even worse class and that was english. I mean to say that really if you looked at the Friday History class, it was good thing. But I rather not languish the thought of Friday classes being a good thing. They weren't. I mean at least in this class, the teacher was not a juvenille ingrate who liked to intervene in the relations of her students to the worst degree. Anyways, you'd be utterly blocked off from ever in such a bullying atmosphere such as English to ever talked to anyone in which you actually liked. You would then go to the history class and not consider it being a good thing-no you figure that it would be worse or could get worse and that assumption was right. In that history class, I would meet a girl from Egypt who would be the most dignified devil that I ever would meet. You on Friday, were blocked from the angel but yet pitted to the demon. In one day, I found myself at the start of that semester with this girl. I did not call her a demon and it would be long until you would have real proof to call her that.
It was an elevator.
The experience was like the following. Ever wonder if you are going to meet someone who has the potential to be the one person who you would like in your life? Well that day, I did find someone or as if a route that was now revealed. As if an entirety of something that was always borne with you and would always be realized no matter you place or position to actualize. You would feel as looking on the world from the inside of another realm when you gazed upon this girl and she said hello. As if realizing something else with her involved as if a facet borne with you. A sum of mention of something involving them and you. Phased, you don't want to fall without any sum of control into a "convenient situation" by the mention of the previous. What if she is not the person who you "can" think she is? However I estate that I never recognized then that this sight was so bound to me. I never did. The girl seemed to be a continuation of just my normal life and all the things I wished in one person to be your other half. I was not so eager to fall for such mentions and in that place where the abnormal was normal, you could consider this abnormal. I just said "hello". The girl turned away and grunted a bit as if she was turned off. I left the elevator. I did not like the girl there. No, I had my eyes set on the girl in english if not the girl in pyschology. Yet she just up and came up as if her hello was enough to impose on me to be with her , " just because". This is what I actually thought.
Time passes and this person always says hello to you, eventually and gradually just fall for the person. Leave the abnormal college and maybe might return to just invest in getting to know this girl. The thing is that really in August 2016, I tried to display this in work Shark on Campus. Yet later on as things get thicker and things come full circle, you can say to contact this person and realize they are not intelligent, just following along with something that is not ever good and just want people to be compliant with lunancy and stupidity, are very uncultured and if not just generally a person who you don't think is deserving of being in America. Come to contact, they are pissed off by images you post and seem to think that you having interest in art and games means you are an imbecile yet they cannot type full correct sentences in english and maybe if you graduate from a school, you should be able to do that. But yea, its abnormal. Fucking abnormal.You eventually leave this idealism of this individual behind as anyone but just another uncultured retard who simply believes they are learned and of the academic life style when they probably just cheated to get through school. I mean, clear indication is in the written language. Yet you try to reason why and what happened with the ideal that seemed to be what life was to be next. And just pass of the whole thing as a symptom of an abnormal college or place even. Like as if the colleg was haunted.
Try to move on to the best of your ability but always feel deprived of something like as if a part of you is missing but yet realize that you don't like the girl at all nor ever will for who they are. And just the idea of the woman was not just a figment from an abnormal place but just`a piece of who you are. Rather would have been the expansion of your life and ideals you hold to a truth, a more broadening as well. Yet that person never exists in reality then must exist in another subjected reality. Yet you realize after trying to be with this and that girl for two years, none of them ever respected you for you but this image seems to respect and just further the life of yours. Educating you to better possibilities and just pushing you further.Realize this ideal person is apart of you and rather could only have been revealed by meeting an individual who looked like them but yet was not them. Making you question the ideas you have always lived with and your self respect and just living in a terrible beaten down path of reaching to lesser peoples and lesser notions of live and liberty. Making you forget what is of you. Until one day you realize what you believed in summer 2016 of conviction and wonder why it ever was and then remember everything. Then realize the worth behind a person who respects you...and only when you realize this worth do you feel like yourself again. Strangely so as if it is written proof that people are borne with the indicators to recognize people in which they should( in character and more) be with. Yet if ever faced with the real persons who borne the identities of the face and namely are not any person many people should even be with, people will lose respect for theirselves or that the part of them which made them bring upon the ideal individual. They will stop trying and they will pretty much stop being as they truly are. Only when remembering the ideal individual can they ever get who they truly are back. Much a displacement of the pyschological kind in which that meeting the counterpart of an ideal person who does not act the part or is the counterpart robs the self of what truly brings upon the ideal individual and who the self is with that individual. Yet when the idea of this sort of person is replaced and only with a gained self sense or self respect behind the ideas of an ideal individual; does this person gain theirselves back. It does not in this sense that this individual seek out the individual or harm them if they exist in person for this to be true. They have to realize the power in self commitment. The power behind self respect to just be them and no one else and just accept the connections that do come with being them. That are of them and yet these connections might not be ever physical in nature but show of the beauty of the inner self, hopes, dreams and ambitions and that you should invision a just world where you could have been accepted as you were and realize it just was not your time. Seek for more inner connections that are to come in recognition and hope people are as they are invisioned and that things work normally or that you don't force anything that would only be forced on the lisps of ideals. That is a more sure and refined way of living than just hoping social skills, society and all things are just going to help you on to find the one for you. Or just maybe reflect on people who actually are the ideals alive in life that you are lucky enough to be with. Or just maybe reflect on how you are deprived of life and liberty in even being with these people for those who are just sheer demons of will to do the worst. People who want to use an ideal to their advantage to get you to be their plaything. People who in sum are not worth your time nor your liberty.
This is what I thought of last night/morning at 6 or 7 am. Much had a realization of something I have rejected. That real love is something that exists and it requires the condition of people having the same notion of living life and respect for another and that one person is just the extension of the other. And maybe some people from birth have individuals they will eventually meet that will reveal a conceptual nature of what person they should truly be with if not that person( in some tragic turn of reality). This is a sum theory I just came up with reflecting on my past life and how one could be so in love with a person who did not exist in August 2016 whilst I drew the comic for Shark on Campus and I am to remember that the shroud of doubt that I ever would be with this person did cast a shadow ever on the effort itself and yet my ambitions at the time. Yet I thought I would never hear of the person again at the time. Oh, in dear time I would hear from them again and no it was not worth the weight or any good. Not ever as the ideal that seeped into you when you first met them that pointed to sometype of ghostly form of abscence in what could truly be there for you to find the love of your life. I mean literally, many people never held the potential to be the ideal individual that you would find yourself pondering about in this instance and that would be okay you are to realize later on after much anticlimatic landings.
Many people never had it in them to have any some of cultured idealisms or acceptance for other peoples and pretty much just live in the authority of self hatred and hating others such that they are the true demons especially when they lack proper english skills despite having "graduated" from college. I am to realize that this ideal person was borne of what? Acceptance of people else and just maybe the premotion of truth pointing you to an instance in which you find yourself with such a person. Not a closed mind of wealth behind false idols and just evil concepts or venturing to do people harm because you have come up from that country you were very much borne from to a country that seems to be only one thing of great indifference to right and the whole story of it. Or just maybe rather the whole idea just happens to a tangible reality elsewhere that spews out in the absence of moral good in a representative and the self was always vital to such information since birth if not generally to be said of many people and their ability to reason "right outcomes" or know of them. Yet knowledge does not mean you can do anything at all especially when the individual who is represented is not anyone of worth or value in morals or diginity. Or pretty much anything at all.
What I am to get around circling to August 2016 is that there has been much I have forgotten for things that happened later on. Or just the killing of self respect behind just a very bad experience that makes you doubt your self. Or dream of self respect and the vision of what it looks like in anyone. Pretty much so, that is what I have recognized and makes what I am doing in recalling the past even more vital to getting a whole story of anything.
It was an elevator.
The experience was like the following. Ever wonder if you are going to meet someone who has the potential to be the one person who you would like in your life? Well that day, I did find someone or as if a route that was now revealed. As if an entirety of something that was always borne with you and would always be realized no matter you place or position to actualize. You would feel as looking on the world from the inside of another realm when you gazed upon this girl and she said hello. As if realizing something else with her involved as if a facet borne with you. A sum of mention of something involving them and you. Phased, you don't want to fall without any sum of control into a "convenient situation" by the mention of the previous. What if she is not the person who you "can" think she is? However I estate that I never recognized then that this sight was so bound to me. I never did. The girl seemed to be a continuation of just my normal life and all the things I wished in one person to be your other half. I was not so eager to fall for such mentions and in that place where the abnormal was normal, you could consider this abnormal. I just said "hello". The girl turned away and grunted a bit as if she was turned off. I left the elevator. I did not like the girl there. No, I had my eyes set on the girl in english if not the girl in pyschology. Yet she just up and came up as if her hello was enough to impose on me to be with her , " just because". This is what I actually thought.
Time passes and this person always says hello to you, eventually and gradually just fall for the person. Leave the abnormal college and maybe might return to just invest in getting to know this girl. The thing is that really in August 2016, I tried to display this in work Shark on Campus. Yet later on as things get thicker and things come full circle, you can say to contact this person and realize they are not intelligent, just following along with something that is not ever good and just want people to be compliant with lunancy and stupidity, are very uncultured and if not just generally a person who you don't think is deserving of being in America. Come to contact, they are pissed off by images you post and seem to think that you having interest in art and games means you are an imbecile yet they cannot type full correct sentences in english and maybe if you graduate from a school, you should be able to do that. But yea, its abnormal. Fucking abnormal.You eventually leave this idealism of this individual behind as anyone but just another uncultured retard who simply believes they are learned and of the academic life style when they probably just cheated to get through school. I mean, clear indication is in the written language. Yet you try to reason why and what happened with the ideal that seemed to be what life was to be next. And just pass of the whole thing as a symptom of an abnormal college or place even. Like as if the colleg was haunted.
Try to move on to the best of your ability but always feel deprived of something like as if a part of you is missing but yet realize that you don't like the girl at all nor ever will for who they are. And just the idea of the woman was not just a figment from an abnormal place but just`a piece of who you are. Rather would have been the expansion of your life and ideals you hold to a truth, a more broadening as well. Yet that person never exists in reality then must exist in another subjected reality. Yet you realize after trying to be with this and that girl for two years, none of them ever respected you for you but this image seems to respect and just further the life of yours. Educating you to better possibilities and just pushing you further.Realize this ideal person is apart of you and rather could only have been revealed by meeting an individual who looked like them but yet was not them. Making you question the ideas you have always lived with and your self respect and just living in a terrible beaten down path of reaching to lesser peoples and lesser notions of live and liberty. Making you forget what is of you. Until one day you realize what you believed in summer 2016 of conviction and wonder why it ever was and then remember everything. Then realize the worth behind a person who respects you...and only when you realize this worth do you feel like yourself again. Strangely so as if it is written proof that people are borne with the indicators to recognize people in which they should( in character and more) be with. Yet if ever faced with the real persons who borne the identities of the face and namely are not any person many people should even be with, people will lose respect for theirselves or that the part of them which made them bring upon the ideal individual. They will stop trying and they will pretty much stop being as they truly are. Only when remembering the ideal individual can they ever get who they truly are back. Much a displacement of the pyschological kind in which that meeting the counterpart of an ideal person who does not act the part or is the counterpart robs the self of what truly brings upon the ideal individual and who the self is with that individual. Yet when the idea of this sort of person is replaced and only with a gained self sense or self respect behind the ideas of an ideal individual; does this person gain theirselves back. It does not in this sense that this individual seek out the individual or harm them if they exist in person for this to be true. They have to realize the power in self commitment. The power behind self respect to just be them and no one else and just accept the connections that do come with being them. That are of them and yet these connections might not be ever physical in nature but show of the beauty of the inner self, hopes, dreams and ambitions and that you should invision a just world where you could have been accepted as you were and realize it just was not your time. Seek for more inner connections that are to come in recognition and hope people are as they are invisioned and that things work normally or that you don't force anything that would only be forced on the lisps of ideals. That is a more sure and refined way of living than just hoping social skills, society and all things are just going to help you on to find the one for you. Or just maybe reflect on people who actually are the ideals alive in life that you are lucky enough to be with. Or just maybe reflect on how you are deprived of life and liberty in even being with these people for those who are just sheer demons of will to do the worst. People who want to use an ideal to their advantage to get you to be their plaything. People who in sum are not worth your time nor your liberty.
This is what I thought of last night/morning at 6 or 7 am. Much had a realization of something I have rejected. That real love is something that exists and it requires the condition of people having the same notion of living life and respect for another and that one person is just the extension of the other. And maybe some people from birth have individuals they will eventually meet that will reveal a conceptual nature of what person they should truly be with if not that person( in some tragic turn of reality). This is a sum theory I just came up with reflecting on my past life and how one could be so in love with a person who did not exist in August 2016 whilst I drew the comic for Shark on Campus and I am to remember that the shroud of doubt that I ever would be with this person did cast a shadow ever on the effort itself and yet my ambitions at the time. Yet I thought I would never hear of the person again at the time. Oh, in dear time I would hear from them again and no it was not worth the weight or any good. Not ever as the ideal that seeped into you when you first met them that pointed to sometype of ghostly form of abscence in what could truly be there for you to find the love of your life. I mean literally, many people never held the potential to be the ideal individual that you would find yourself pondering about in this instance and that would be okay you are to realize later on after much anticlimatic landings.
Many people never had it in them to have any some of cultured idealisms or acceptance for other peoples and pretty much just live in the authority of self hatred and hating others such that they are the true demons especially when they lack proper english skills despite having "graduated" from college. I am to realize that this ideal person was borne of what? Acceptance of people else and just maybe the premotion of truth pointing you to an instance in which you find yourself with such a person. Not a closed mind of wealth behind false idols and just evil concepts or venturing to do people harm because you have come up from that country you were very much borne from to a country that seems to be only one thing of great indifference to right and the whole story of it. Or just maybe rather the whole idea just happens to a tangible reality elsewhere that spews out in the absence of moral good in a representative and the self was always vital to such information since birth if not generally to be said of many people and their ability to reason "right outcomes" or know of them. Yet knowledge does not mean you can do anything at all especially when the individual who is represented is not anyone of worth or value in morals or diginity. Or pretty much anything at all.
What I am to get around circling to August 2016 is that there has been much I have forgotten for things that happened later on. Or just the killing of self respect behind just a very bad experience that makes you doubt your self. Or dream of self respect and the vision of what it looks like in anyone. Pretty much so, that is what I have recognized and makes what I am doing in recalling the past even more vital to getting a whole story of anything.
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