YGFY

 Ya! Ah, yes!

   I think now that some crisis is avoided after a long time of four to five years, in my creative life and yes personal life and the life of my country. I just want to give you a great deal of sum of how great I have been suffering. I like to write about these things about why I suffer because who else would write of them? A person across the street, a parent or some fucking stranger on the net or people who are fucking dead to me. The people who are fucking dead to me, made theirselves strangers and pissed off any good will that comes from natural interactions and prefer to piss of the good will and blame people for their shortcomings? Nope, none of them will. I have tried to be so earnestly nice to people. I really have. 

   You would think somehow you get along with people who are like you and drawing things like and like the same stuff you life-like certain manga and anime but fuck no. I am to say that I have tried to be nice to people who don't deserve to be in the experience of being "talked to like nicely". I have tried to foster a good community following. I have tried to be the one who gives the advice and the sense when clearly people are going out of their fucking minds and anyone would feel pity for them and offer them a solution. All I get is that I am not welcomed in their playpin. That in their eyes its okay to disrespect people who have concern about them and that they can speak to anyone how they seek fit when they don't know the people and people are just concerned about them. Imagine falling off a bike and a person passing by says, " are you okay?" No, these people when they fall off the fucking bike think they are so privy to being fucking asshats. " I fell off the bike and it felt good, fuck off", is literally their fucking response. The way, you act is, "okay". I am to say that you tolerate it because maybe falling did hurt alot and you just want to help so people and push the self out of the way. But yet everytime I realize my interactions with a bunch of people, all they are self centered, big headed and all caught up in theirselves. Am I caught up in myself from stating that? Nope, not when people come back at you when you show concern for them when they fall off a bike and say," fuck you!"

" are you okay?"

" fuck you".

    I have to say that maybe I would consider some people to be the women-female versions of myself as we have common characteristics but no. These people are too antsy, too aggressive and too mean. They might be the same cultural near tendencies, draw art, or just have similar characteristics in personality and interests but I have come to a great profound hatred for these people. My fucking twitter feed is just filled with these pretentious asshats who look at me and say, " you aren't good enough to play".

" you are a toxic dude".

"You aren't a good artist as so and so".

    I am just sick of it. Sick of it!  The worst thing is that some people who you had issues with in the past are literally speaking about you in their fucking twitter posts and the such  and just honestly its fucking annoying. What in literally devil's name do you even know about me when your first words in honesty to me where in contention of me and basically trying to mask me as an enemy to some followers. I remember just trying to be nice. I saw a person eating food that people of my certain culture eat and thought to be nice when they said they were eating late at night. Particularly, I would say its spicy food and really much if you eat it too late; you can get sick and it will harm you. I was just being nice and said," nice food, maybe you should eat earlier". The person just brushed off and said, "nope". Like they rebelled in the thought that their idea was all exclusive to them, their feelings and their advent of life and that really much they should not recognize reality. I was just trying to help out a fellow artist to continue making art because eating spicy shit at night does not add up into anything good. But no, fuck me. Fuck me for giving a fuck about this asshat. Namely the person was just cruising in their own hype and their followers were agreeing with them whilst they rode a said bike of flames down a street without a kiddy pool of water to jump in.

    I do say that one time I even tried to be nice and offer some sage advice to a group of people about a certain issue that they were in. I misunderstood and thought they were just a bit overreacting as people who are likely these "in name only" feminists. I get attacked by this one person and unfriended and vilified. I tried to be nice to this person; that vilified me and really much after some good acts just ignored if I ever tired to be friendly or be a friend at all. Its almost to say that really much; I am the only person doing the effort to be nice.

   Out of the women, I once followed a dude to be nice and only realized that he was a fucking racist who ultimately supported the narrative that the terrorists who stormed the capitals were victims of propaganda and not terrorists.

    I would say that most women artists that I meet aren't good people aside for a few and I mean one or two of them. Always thinking that they are so much better than you and always have to speak ahead of you and the world is grounded in their metrics and you just really cannot even be accepting that no one art style is better than the other around these people. Just try to ultimately indulge how superior their work is with no fucking arguments but "that it just is" and "because I follow a group of people and an artstyle and think I am cool conforming to their idealisms". These people have no good opinions on anything and good I mean-fucking informed. Anything and everything has to be about them, art and just them and whatever monkey fucking game, show, biltz, buzz activity, mood and drama they are feeling is popular to express. If one person did not do it before them; they would not do it at all and hence are just monkeys in a barrel. I am to say that maybe being stupid is a choice but yet; I find that the mention they think they are superior to me when I never dared even "compare dick sizes" but try to be friendly and make friends is just showing of them being overt dicks and egoistical jerks. How full of shit do you have to be? You really cannot even put into words yourself why you are so much better than a person but still want to say and exclaim and posture that you are leagues ahead without such an argument. If I was a dick; I would say that this website of mine called MK MZODERN would be the better argument to why I am a pretty artist than them. But yet I never want to say I am superior and don't believe it and frankly-art is not a competition! Yet all these people know how to do despite their artistry and creativity and ability to like these creative worlds of other people and manga and anime and all these games; is just be hateful and dissmissive.

   Dare I try to hold a conversation with a person as a person and not some  outsider artist outside their niche who won't kiss their fucking ass. I find it troubling especially in the youtube art community is that all the storytime creators know how to do is just kiss each other's ass.  O, I am just done with it. I don't want to hear of another person who is a woman and they draw their art and have their quirky worky attitude and say," fuck you" when you just try to show some concern. Always acting as if there are people out to get them and by you having a different art style and not being exactly the same as them; you are automatically a bad person who deserves this dismissive and egoistical driven behavior. Like shit; its not fucking cute yet some people think it is.

   Once upon a time, I would have thought a women who draws art similar to me at all and likes the same stuff and maybe even have the same culture if not personality would be a godsend and a very attractive if well meaning set of traits to carry. But now, all I can see are self important jerks who think their disses are cute. Yea, have so much fun running to the bathroom when that spicy food goes through you. Its really cool and your followers think so too, good for you! I frankly enough have come to despise people who even like anime, manga, draw fanart, draw anything in their pretentious styles of art and just behave in their egoistical behaviors even if they have the same personality as me. I come to the reasoning that even if people are similar; it does not mean at fuck all they are going to even be good towards you or that you are even going to get along with them. I have been met by too many bad actors that really, I just don't like these type of people and yea-they think they are so good but really they are just getting by. Never do these people take a real challenge but just follow whatever and whatever everyone else is doing. That's it and that's that. I mean most of the time their sole reason for hating you is because you aren't a fucking copycat as them. And that is all there is to it.

   These people are so combative that they cannot even wait to even understand what another person is truly saying. If a person misunderstands the context of a situation~ do you think you actually understand what they mean when they think the situation is something else? I mean let's go back to kindergarten and let's see what is missing in these people. Oh wait, common courtesy, people skills and manners. Yea, I would get along swimmingly in life if I said to someone concern about me to ," fuck off". What is to stop the person, whom you don't know for getting angry at you and pummeling you? Nothing and whilst that would be bad on their helpful intentions it would only be expected when you just shoot hatred at them. You are only going to get it back. The thing is; some people obviously don't realize that maybe its them who make their lives harder and no one else because they are stupid, have no people skills and literally aren't nice and probably need to grow up. That is to be said; I hate twitter artists who have their heads in the clouds. Like really; a person does not have to try so hard to be nice and conductive to peaceful environments and outcomes. I try to inspire this but you cannot change the elements-the people who you deal with when they have fire in their hearts and hatred in their heads.

    Yes, I write this as reminder to myself to what great degrees of why I should stay away from people who seem similar but just are nightmares. Yea, I'd be so proud of myself if I just got one person who was concerned I fell from my bike into a fucking person who really does not want to be bothered with me or people similar to me. But no, I am being sarcastic if some people don't know what "sarcastic" is. You go fuck yourself.