Summer 2019 ( maybe a 2nd time?)

     Skipping over the months of March, April and May and going directly to June, July and August-you have a great advent that occur in these later months. I worked to make how many Kyeombi, Krushre, and mystery type comic works as I could. Was I free? Not exactly and not really. You appeared to awaken the nest of malnourished in the mind and human culture women from the previous semester and they just followed you around. I mean some person who made it their effort to make my life hell and frankly waste my time if not embarrass me would basically just be working in a bookstore I liked to venture and not be bothered by anyone. But yet this person just appeared after they just dry humped a dude in public which was after which they admitted they were wasting my time. All to be said; the summer was not without its complications in the people coming out to drag you down. O, it was to be June when this happened and yes-I am to say honestly; you could not depend on people at all.

      I worked on so many projects to the best of my ability but really some works I could not work on because I was overworking myself and making myself sick. You see the time I got to the works I was mainly to work on in a day; I usually had done at least one before and something to put on the blog because of course the show has to go on and I had to keep on recording my progress. I was doing alot of things at once and it was creativity making use of chaos but then somewhat it was beleaguered by bad actors and just overworking. Oh yea, being sick during trying to create Palenius Tricks really got to me such that when I attempted the idea recently in the later December 2020 to this early 2021 January period took what hindered me then to complete the effort. Great learning moments can come recording your progress and remembering your limits, I do say one year and some later.

    In July the whole thing did not get any better. The audience of Mk Mzodern then was in shambles and many people were not appreciative of such works like Black Magic and Runecasters as much as had been before because my audience after  6 years was basically decimated by Google's policy. And let me not just say this but really in the summer I did have to remove all my comics from the website that I had up free to view. Pretty much I am going to tell you that these comics had been free to view and everything I worked on from summer 2018 was on that page. But a third party I rather not give any attention just decided to make the embed links needless advertisement for their site and really were keen on getting my views from that page and all the separate posts the comics were posted on. I am to say that it was good in some way that people stopped mooching off free content. I had a shop up for my works but no one ever bought anything they were too good for that. Really much; some people really think they can define reality and what things are to people. Truly if you think my works are inferior to not bother to purchase them because you have such the "love of pop culture", you should not read my works. Anyways to be said; I decided to keep up these works on a gumroad account but that essentially went nowhere. I kept on working on Krushre but it was very hard and felt gripped for space and time.

      Runecasters I worked on till August with Supreme and other works; and these things were hard works to work on. I eventually by the end of August after completing Supreme and some parts of other works decided to take a break and focus on Apollo, Polards and coloring things. Much in July and August focused on transferring into a four year college and that was to be said; yeph-I did eventually get accepted to one college but yet the dean of the program I choose to minor in-graphic design was just going to screw me over. I mean eventually I was just forced to drop the minor to even continue pursuing an education. The July to August time was particular hard and really just wanted to rest but I really could not and I did not. The rest of the year; I frankly took it easy from what I had experienced.

In sum what I was doing was just carrying all my hopes and dreams myself and writing it dutifully on this website. I am to say that if that studious nature turns people off; good for them thinking they will ever amount to anything with dedication or hard work. I mean, I see some pretentious people on the net. Everything is all just fun and games with them and really they are all about chasing a trend than even reaching to approach their real goals and ambitions. Sure, their artwork might be good but really they are just about pushing the narrative that they don't have to work for their dreams and goals and just can get by on the backs of their fans. Also have a lack to think for theirselves but follow whatever and whatever people are doing. They really lack any stock of character that is good when really they just think they are better than others and treat people like shit. If you saw a post yesterday berating such folks; I do it because simply these people just use others to have a place they admittedly would not have without them and trends and all the little fanciful styles that are popular. Truly; they largely promote idealisms that make art a farce and just prevent those who would spread the wealth to others from even gaining traction because many people who would spread the wealth aren't doing fanart just for clout. Why do I even do a Spineworld comic? Its because there are people in need of the idea to continue and I frankly want it to continue. These people have no reason to do anything of the such but just appeal to making their followers and those who could be potential buyers of anyone's art just value fandom clout and their whole cutesy wutsy appeal. I am to say that you have a problem when and where in order to make money off your art online; you have to be some cutesy wutsy woman on the net attending to her fans and being rude to people who don't kiss their ass.

There is to say that really I don't have such intentions to have people kiss my ass and make me "fulfilled". Nope, I in this summer 2019; fulfilled my own ambitions and I did it with vigor, planning and efforts from the planning. I am to say that really; a person realizes that they just cannot win unless they appeal to solely remove theirselves from an audience group base filled with people who don't give a fuck about your work or even you. I would say that I think much of all the diversity advocacy and all that sexuality shit is just all talk and in reality-no one could give a fuck about anyone who is a person of color or this or that sexuality. They all just care about the money. I am saying this from person experience with people who are "artists on the net". There is to be said great love lost when you are anything but a person who conforms to the ideas of pronouns,  aren't gay or whatever and especially if you are male and black. This is to be said of people who might as well be black theirselves. But yet-people I will awaken you; don't get along just because their color is the same. Its actually quiet the opposite. Its who the people are and really much some people have low standards for what they want in life that clash with your values that are high for your life. Such to be said; a vital part of the July? August 2019 part was realizing how hopeless it is to even exist on a space you once dominated in 2013. No artists were on twitter in 2013 and in fact people wondered in sort what you would even use a twitter for.

     By the end of August, my audience was just failing me in every possible way because of course, everyone who was in my audience base up and left when google + ended. Few people even stayed behind and really much to compete with these low life twitter artists who just sneer at you when you even try to be fucking civil; is just enough to piss you off. I would post to twitter and just get 1 view per post and eventually the highest I could get was three views much of the time. The site was in terrible straits but I was more focused on accomplished the mass comics on paper. I would later try to diversify in fall 2019 but that kinda fell to the side. The youtube channel I dared to even post to; was just a failure and no one viewed it. I mean, I get better traction on Twitch and at least I know some people from the network I share my posts with convert over to the streams even if it is just two people.

   This is some bleak stuff but I would be one to say that is what I faced at the start of fall 2019. Of course, let me say that really all of this stuff was tiring and really took some effort to stay out of a bad place of thought. Yes, that being said; a person just does not aim to ride the horse again of doing all different works without some time of introspection. And fall 2019 is where I did think and then where I was just upsurped by the educational body( a dean refusing me classes for the minor that needed to be eventually taken-you had to get some classes before you took others and this is to say the dean was just languishing the fact I was even in program and was pushing things out to where I could not get any classes much ever) that be which in turn really threatened my college career but I pulled it back together in 2020. Oh boy. But yet, I am to say this somewhat a summary of events from the summer 2019 and fall 2019 that went into 2020.