Hope from anguish.

    Basically the whole crisis by the end of summer 2016. The whole crisis during summer 2016 was there were so many works to be done and so many new ideas popping up. At least four levels of creations you had to navigate across. In any means; whilst I was making a good way in developing new methods to tell my stories. Ultimately; you cannot complete every work to completion.

    I was avid about completing the newer projects. To be certain to you; the reader-that the most early works in the first level, the Kyeombi projects, frankly were not done in their original capacity at all. Only Black Magic was the only work that was truly worked on the summer that was of the "past" or original idealisms. The rest had either been created in 2015 or 2016. Aside from Cosmica and its various tie ins of the time; Kyeombi itself was not the main focus. Ultimately, what the focus was-was to ultimately try to draft as many of these new works as possible. Frankly try to find some way to monetize my works. Albeit I tried to do this by contests and was just laughed out of the room essentially. It was a chaotic time period to much said and whilst had long realized that I did not have a good set of methods to actualize the Kyeombi works. In fact the whole method I was to attempt with Black Magic would fail when I could not transfer previous drafts into comic pages. The way of transference of these ideas to make a substantial gain in creating the Kyeombi comics just did not work out.

    Approaching the later July I believe; as I had new works- basically just stopped pursuing some ideas and consolidated many ideas In fact the entire summer, I had a list for each different level of the works I was pursuing and would update it every three or two weeks. I would say that the reemergence of this list in summer 2017, meant that I was approaching to the previous status after falling into more chaotic times by the fall 2016. Yet I tried to really much wrap up "this problem" by August. I was hoping the contest I entered would have been fruitful but it was not at all.

     August was not spent in denial of the 4 levels of projects and maybe a growing amount but trying to figure out how to not burn out and continue forward stronger. I did just try to do art in a sketchbook, work on Shark on Campus then some other art project in a sketchbook. Later would work on Mind Games again and this time it would be different and more inventive if not a product of "not giving up" and that type of atmosphere of the times of "hope". It was in this time period that I realized that i could just openly start my own vertical comic book company and frankly engage in a market where there is no real competition for in the sense that vertical comics come from the Korean region most popularly( albeit in China too). I worked on works in a sketchbook and was about "hope". That eventually I would complete these ideas of Mind Games and Shark on Campus. Then restart what I had been doing prior but with a new method that required one page. I was just going to submit comics again into the next contest because it never hurts to try. I started to devolve new ideas around a hope in austere times because I was hit hard not only by the contest loss but by attempting so much works prior. I also developed the MM culture magazine the first time around. In truth; that version was only to be a prelude to when I could make the full version idea with actual comics inside.  At the time I made MM culture 1, I was make a slow progress to "restart" making comics with the new method using either the one page method or the strip method. It was to be a gradual effort. Yet some people are just cruel and adventurous in the devil's spirit of things. Family does not help either and low and behold. I was soon trapped in a system of anxiety and fear and holding off the bad to make the good. And to be said it was hell.

  I tell you all of this because frankly; I will complete the objectives aforementioned as I have been trying to do them for five years. Everything will be done as it was. Yet really wanted to work up to these things but was rather forced into a defensive position to fight for my life and my dreams. Sincerely, some people need to quit thinking they are the grace of god brought down to the earth when truly their violence was unnecessary and inhumane. I am to say a whole deal of things got pushed back and all this time have just been forced to move for "survival". That is to be said that really much-I am only have been creating to save what would have else been lost if I had just waited to do it. This is to be said really have never had the time to process much of what happened after fall 2016. To some great extent-these written exercises are the only clarity and reflection I get.  What really I need to do finally get back on the path I wanted to be on is to return to that place of "hope". And that is where this journey is going. Hope is important and yes its very easy to hope but yet somewhat sometimes its frivolous to hope when you can just do and have the worry of your head. Why, hope to put mayo on the burger when you can do it. I am to say that-really I realize I did mess up in the situation to hope for what I could do and eventually just would be doing in the end. Yet; it was not my fault for people's hostility or violence. But the whole thing is to go back to that time of "hope" as I dared hope at all is my objective.

How  will I do this if not already done? Follow me forward into this "mystery".