Days I hate the most.
The days of college at the start were what I hated the most. People oblivious to the laws of the reality of humanity because maybe they lived like damned animals their entire damn lives. Maybe I cover the first week. It was shit. I was hoping for adventure and improvement but all I got was lame shit and stuff relatively that someone really should not be forced to pay for at all. Let this reality hit you-for the poor quality of those classes what people should have paid was a coachroach in their fucking mouths as payment because that must of been swirling in the minds of some people. So mental fucked up and so stupid~ they don't belong in society but in reform camps. They wanna act as if they don't know how people live their lives and want to act out on "race this" and "race that" and privilege this and superior this and that. Its all silly when they are just doing the bare minimal and won't even succeed in becoming even a corporate slave. And if they do- go off to do terrible things. But is the story about me? It is my friends. The terrible things of these warped minds and their supposed "not-cultures" of nonsense that everyone agrees is just the circumstance of privilege, youth, racism, stupidity in comfort in some title of wholistic culture and some idea of diversity as a title being an award to continue great evils and pretend some people were even humane to start with and most of all; evil! Learn this. These are the days I hate the most. This first week was a bummer. A terror and a gross one at that.
Tried to make friends with roommate on a Friday. It was plenty of terrible later on that time. Even though he allowed me to use his computer to write some blog posts. It was all fucked up. Later on. His parents came to talk that Saturday and they gave him the parent signature of trust. This guy goes later on this night of Saturday and vomits in the room and leaves. It smells so terrible and yet that is all that is to become here. Whores terrible he would let in only to blame me and attribute stupid characteristics only an undisciplined mind and one person so frivolous to their lack of self control projects onto people as the problem which they truly are. Whores terrible is how I word this. Now, I know some of you people never heard the country slang but the "Whores terrible" is not even a word to describe those fucks and this chuck who brought them in. I did not hate the guy and still don't but maybe all his introduction of girls into the room resulted in several of my items being stolen. Maybe in spanish, " whores terrible" is a "puta madre". Or a Japanese saying of " shit". Those whores are the shit.
That Saturday I tried to make some friends before the vomit discovery. They were shit too. Self hating racists and as proof of the Kevin Hart comedy whatever they watched. I only watched it to be nice but know this- I fucking Kevin Hart and no; he can never be one to truly talk about black rights when all his jokes basically degrade black people. Such people who are comedians like that are dicks and aren't funny and just sad and always feel sorry that they have to go so far to hate theirselves to make people laugh and make money.
You know I might have lived a life for education and solely of this bullcrap education but it already had ended when I came to that college and that particular night I found I could not sleep in the place with the vomit... I stayed up a bit and then slept on a couch of sorts. Often in the past in my teenage years my parents where never supportive of me and my goals nor wanted to do which was create comics and stories. Aside to say they never were. It was all me the entire childhood and teenage years and surely adulthood and maybe just maybe these bitches are just abusive cunts who think they earned the roles of society and act the parts we should all recognize they don't fit well for how even moral they are compared or can never compared to the trash that funds the shit that ran through that dorm.
The fourth floor was something of a little party fantasy. You see at the end of this week. Everyone started to come together and party in unseen manners and ways. Meeting many people and else none of it mattered to many people but the people they could screw of course. But I remember sitting in that dorm lobby where I did sleep that week with some odd sense of pride. I remember how fucked up it was thinking you had made friends that Sunday night and realized that none of these people were your friends and staying up the entire night to rest a small time before rushing to class of course; shower already taken as the body needed no sleep. I remember kneeling on the ground and the sun reaching me. But noticing something odd as I did in that room. Maybe the sun shined but no people lived here. They were are but demons for then and tomorrow surely. But to say I realized some people would smile in the manner of the sun and were like me; humane and some people so disgusting and dark that maybe they-the college should actual kick such creatures of the night out as so the school never becomes a self realized cult for one fucked goal or another.
The people who smiled as the RAs talked or even shown some time of "excitement" where people. Even looking to me as I wondered why they would even look to me. I did not believe that people could actually like me in that time period and the reason was a time of teenage years and highschool not one person on this god fucked earth gave a shit about me. What did I even do for love? Fill it up with past visions of love and a world that was far gone and not destroyed by continuing to make my comics for Kyeombi. Comics were the only thing I was proud of. Proof that I was me and not some faggot of academics or some faggot of gangster wannabe or sports enthusiast.
The people who showed those feelings to me of excitement and directed their gaze at me were probably the only people who were ever worthwhile speaking to. It was a small group of people that came but you could see the suns from the dark shit that stood like black jutted stones waiting for people to people and show their humane character so they could stab them. And notedly in this story there are many people like that.
The days I hate the most. Every day I would go to English and Psychology and then Science on Monday and Wednesday. Was the absolute fucking worst. It was like sitting in a cult. To be fucked with an english, psychology and science questions while everyone stood there these blunt stones amongst the jagged trying to fit in this warped anti-modern and yet racist culture the university promoted. I hate that guy who dared wedge his way in between the first girl I ever spoke to for such a long time since 4th fucking grade. Him and his military fucking shit would be annoyance and a pit in my side. I tried to stick to the highschool way of believing we were friends in a group but I wanted to best that bitch but it never would be a good characteristic to do so. That psychology he nested in with that pity form of a teacher who claimed her good characteristic was youth as a claim to power and rather power in teaching ability was just one head cult leader in this whole fucking shit. Encouraging racism and segregation and getting into people's romantic and personal space is all she did. And that bitch military guy would talk and talk to her over and over again and yes the girl that I liked. But you know not every story is so morally sound. What if I told you it would have been impossible for me to speak to this girl had not something happened in the Monday first I went to that class. That would shatter years long of isolation and anger at people in general to give people a chance.
Retrospectively; if I had just continued in the ideas of rage maybe people would have become afraid of me and revered me in the ideals that I could fuck them up socially and yet covertly. I would not have to be dealing with all these dumb and nasty bitches who think they can raise up a leg and piss on me. But you know what; rage is not the way and certainly it is not healthy at all.
But I saw a girl in English class the first day who changed my perspective and maybe even my life. I would say my life. I ventured and vermeered to that english class on some half far away distance from the dorms. The grounds pretty much reminding me of falling one time in that fucked up city and not being able to play no more with a new friend I made and my parents blaming me all the way for the wound that only I had to bare whilst watching some African dance that really was a waste of my fucking life and time. The grounds to say were slippery and deceitful and seemed to be wanting for blood just as all the little colorful people of the world seemed to be. If you ask me; did there be any good people there at all but some dumb sluts in their fucking cults and groups-men and women and women and men of different singular and mixed formats? I say that all the good people knew when to get and when to quit. Never did any good people hang out in public. And if they did they did not ever do so on the fourth floor. There could be some exceptions my friends but no-most of the people were trash. And while on some other side of the side I lived on in that dorm. Lived some of the most nasty females that I ever would know. Some so dumb to believe their importance and hype and not realize people saw through all their constructs for whom they truly were. Some people don't have to try and fit in and are just who they are and somehow that makes them a target. That is a very intricate part of the story and whilst I would want to later talk to people who were humane realized I had too much a shit following to live a life in peace and not endanger these people by association to such trash.
I don't know man. One day as I came to that class from that dumb dorm. There was this morning sense and I remembered how I was late everyday for highschool and I always was guilted with the price of being tardy and my parents did not even a give a damn in retrospect. I saw this girl who was a former senior ahead of me and she said hello. I did want to be the one to date her but no one knows how to do any of that when they might as well been boxed into a room and chained to the ground and letters pile of a circumstance and they slowly work through the letters to build a foldable octagon large enough to break them out of the room from the letters and maybe just a bit of ambition to get inside the octagon and push. That would be a said analogy for what? My art and how it was the only thing that I had to get out of a bad situation or bad situations. I tell you-no math can do that for you.
But as I entered the sun was a low hum of yellow and strange paleness of yellow as I entered that pale building that reminded me of a bayou house or the house or building of a piano teacher. There was a hall way of great entrances and I followed the instructions to the building room I was to be. There was this girl alone and then this guy with battoons juggling them and talking to the girl. I believed they were like a set in stone couple already like in highschool. Often to say my friends. Being in a minority school is not good for anyone especially when minority students in the ap classes are just like racists of the alt right and the people who are basically the main students are so lost to their reasons for being there and always just procrastinate and do all the wrongs and never go anywhere in life by their own choosing. Many of the times such dynamics reveal that only girls accept only some boys who are the image of abuse they seek for various mannerisms. And lack the ability to think for theirselves and most of the time don't even like the fellow but the pain he represents. And the dude of course-thinks he has control over the girl and thinks he is such a man because of it. But it is wrong. He and they, she and her, he and we and she and they are but nothings. Who only promote their own sad self demise when anyone with a mind could wake up and not be such a bitch to continue shooting theirselves in the legs when everyone else wants them dead. But to say the girl and boy promote certain people being mocked and trashed because they aren't the image of either of what a boy or girl should be and maybe I thought this was just highschool continued.
The girl I saw later in that class was truly beautiful and I won't lie while some could say the teacher was hot and maybe even bangable. Let us remind ourselves that having sex is put a liability, waste of time and frankly to be avoided with people like teachers of course. But some fuckers would never get that and maybe they pass solely on that merit. But to say that of all these constants. The girl was like the sun in the room as another sun poured in and I realized as if a drip of people leaking into my thoughts and these cursed eyes gazing upon me as if to question my existence and my capility to even have " awe in beauty". But this girl was not just an outward beauty; she was an inner beauty. She looked towards me in the first part of class where I thought she was another brainless pairing with juggler bohemian overachiever. But she was not. She was alive. When she breathed I breathed that she breathed at all. When the class looked at me after a while with these demon eyes and that bitch from 8th grade looking as if she never saw me and wanting to be fitting in with cult activity...of looking at me with these, " who is he" eyes. These who is he eyes but in wonderment of disrespect to character and hate tinged with the compliance to be normal and humane on the shell but a monster inside. Regardless of these looks; prior I found that she looked me in the eyes with a want that was only equal respect and admiration and not compliance to be with someone because of a need to conform to self hatred. Not avoiding my eyes even when I was not looking at her. She looked at me only like a sun could look at me and then in a ray of one of my realizations that she could possibly like me and her beauty compelling inner and outer. The iceberg inside my heart-inside me all this time broke down into the waters of the compelling me and I woke up in mind breathe a new person.
I found myself then looked on with a swarm of evil eyes and the teacher always pinned on me even when I was awake and to be said was not asleep and told me to " wake up". Maybe it was not in that class and maybe she picked on me in other ways of how she gazed upon me and asked questions towards me and hindered me after class from speaking to a special someone. Maybe she was just a normal teacher but somewhere in me knew that she was just begging to the influence of this place in her own special way.
I looked to the girl and despite all the evil eyes and cult eyes she never stopped looking at me with conviction and the earnest heart that compelled her life and compelled a friction to make a heart speak.
But my friends all frictions that make hearts speak and known to you and the public aren't but a cry for help for all that the cult bearing society does to the spiritual and the wellness of the world. People just act as if they can desecrate all that is sacred because they solely believe spirituality and the real world is a primitive form of life stomped out with the natives of turtle rock. But I promise you the natives still live and maybe the spirituality of my ancestors still live in me to compel the message that proliferating scum that things it is so advanced has no place in the world but to realize their farce and yes the insignificance to change anything of spirituality and what people believe. You can not change the right of what people believe. In modern events; the actions of China is but a treat to the world's religious freedoms and maybe a grand certain center of this story is that these cult bearing eye glaring hoes of evil shit really think they even have the right to control, kill or maime people or try to ruin their social and romantic lives and all else lives of money and status just to deem their version of reality correct. But such evil is not reality but the twistings of a corruptive heart. People truly believe they can make the world this godless place, a place of evil and distractions of the twisted heart and this is part of that religion of such a place of diversity and yet cult life.
Yet to say that I would not have easy classes or ones that were ever easy to be in because the students or the teachers would somehow be involved in this evasive cult life and make it their every wish and goal to kick people over, invade their privacy and right to life and basic american freedoms for their own selfish ideals of society that can never be or be a society at all but a working crowd of humans as animals who just fuck and fornicate and think they do human tasks well when they don't. There is no forcing that " I have the right to live" on people who are borne evils and just want to fuck with people. For people who try to fuck with you, your space and your life and your ambitions and try to make everything so utterly complicated only a serial killer could have such complications on how certain things are just not done and a person be a person still. Self defense is all this story is all about and in the days that I hate the most. Talking to that girl called an "A" name would be like encroaching on this cult's believes that people are not entitled to live as a people but meat to slaughter just because they have humane values they can never ever fucking understand. Going to school in a situation like this is hard as every day and every minute they are trying to rip you down and make you look bad in front of everyone when in fact they are the people who are truly bad and yet odd in the world and to be said the worst cowards of all. So afraid that when people discover their human personality is but a farce to the animal within~ they will have nothing. And be able to do nothing and all their wishes to be a "somebody" go away. They cannot work and live being known as this monster.Who harrasses people, does not understand western rights for human lives mainly American rights and values and just thinks they are just and god being the most evil they can be because they must be god from the shiny hill they see the world and the only way to control anything to them is to push everything into a dark light and do evil at every turn and opportunity as if that is what they are borne for. This anti-outreach; is disturbing and the most forte of the story to come. But say friends; did I know of a moral trouble in talking to this girl whilst being interested foremost in another. There is no moral trouble when you aren't dating either of them.And even if you could date them both at the same time wouldn't you not treat them the best? Nothing would be wrong dating two girls at once least they don't consent to it, it hurts either one of them or you don't treat either well. But my friends; I was said focused on the themes of betrayal and that by ever sharing eyes with another girl I was betraying the girl who broke the ice.
But always to say things aren't wrong at all when you are not dating either one of them. And that maybe when some older guy tries to subvert a new friendship into something that is not advantageous to you and cares the girl away with wind and leaves you with little speaking space. Realize that maybe this guy needs to be punched with all the animals in human cloaks. Speaking of which the people could be said normal but still influenced by the cult lifestyle and for some people encourage high levels of hate and desperate needs to fit in. And some just these cults in hoods.
And maybe science is someone what close to what a person would want in college; eventually some type of person to communicate with in class with and not be guilted by stares as all seats fit in one direction and maybe people here just want to learn and really don't care for all that crap. Maybe you can find at least one person who talks to you and not of romantics but of friendship perhaps hinged close to an interest or not that may or may not be romantics at all.
Maybe the classes of math and history were classes were the great disparities between the cult following and the none cult following were seen and maybe math was a better class even though the tortured folks still continued a tired game of trying to control people. While history displayed the torture of people. Maybe they should speak when terrible things are shown to them besides in the folds of a history page and that a hot of a room in social climate is not the best place to learn.
Maybe the efforts of social were a waste and surely they were. Everyone who you see turning out just to be trash and nothing more and only some people who at some time or another realize they are too out about with trash and rescind into hiding leaving you all alone with outgoing trash in the common areas. And that while the girl who's heart beckons you will not answer because of the rising climatic of the people who attach too close and threaten to screw with everyone close to you. And maybe convey this in writing and wannabe drawings to be in reality but don't have the strength nor skill yet.
Maybe you practice all this time and start a blog over the days I hate the most and decide to fuck over the english professor by proving you can write a book while they assign this tiresome rewrite of history as the same article topic over and over again. Yet deriving a testament about how people choose to view people in a color hostile manner and purposely get into their social lives by that very standard and yes believing a view of the world that is so central to them being superior and other inferior even if its not by skin color but by ability to do something at all. Yet realizing that in the end after the particular time period of breaks where the girl seems to yearn for you to talk to her realize there is no other way to be but loyal in the end. Loyal to the cause to keep her safe from all the bastards around you hang with that she of course never hangs with by choice quiet maybe for good fucking reasons. Loyal to yourself to keep pushing your dreams to reality. Even if it revolves leaving her behind in this place. This person who got you to change to be a better person.
You might not even go back to that school but to see how much a shithole it is at every turn of going back and maybe the last time after a particular storm is the last straw and links certain activities that happen in else regions to this one place of the cult activity and mindset in a university. Not to be said this mentality occurs in a place where people want to accept the diversity message and be proud of it but don't know the real life consequences and how maybe this mindset of diversity is just to allow one of slave trafficking of those of diversity converse not at all with the cult mentality but a by product of people in academics being led to believe people are at all different from another at all and that some people don't have the rights to live humane lives and not shrouded by the mental depravity of selfish and self centered sociopaths and psycopaths to believe the only way to better anything is through evil and believing everything is construed to lead to evil even the existence of other people of color. Yet so only believing they must better by evil because that is the only way they can control anything they see~in a way to keep their status mental quo of living sane and correct when their view of reality is evil and wrong and truly not a representation of reality at all but selfish spun out desires of a corrupted heart.
You may wait for a time to get back to a point you should have never been stopped at because people can only believe in bettering things they don't understand by doing wrong or killing people for the reason they don't understand or they don't know people at all and think they can discount people because they aren't fucked up like them. But my friends that all ends today. Some people might have thought it funny to make me come to class and mock me for even coming and then engaging we have to write an article over and over again and somehow I am not good enough and it is just bias and a system of it. The days I hate the most are days when people don't know the truth a growing evil in education, higher and lower and thus society.
Tried to make friends with roommate on a Friday. It was plenty of terrible later on that time. Even though he allowed me to use his computer to write some blog posts. It was all fucked up. Later on. His parents came to talk that Saturday and they gave him the parent signature of trust. This guy goes later on this night of Saturday and vomits in the room and leaves. It smells so terrible and yet that is all that is to become here. Whores terrible he would let in only to blame me and attribute stupid characteristics only an undisciplined mind and one person so frivolous to their lack of self control projects onto people as the problem which they truly are. Whores terrible is how I word this. Now, I know some of you people never heard the country slang but the "Whores terrible" is not even a word to describe those fucks and this chuck who brought them in. I did not hate the guy and still don't but maybe all his introduction of girls into the room resulted in several of my items being stolen. Maybe in spanish, " whores terrible" is a "puta madre". Or a Japanese saying of " shit". Those whores are the shit.
That Saturday I tried to make some friends before the vomit discovery. They were shit too. Self hating racists and as proof of the Kevin Hart comedy whatever they watched. I only watched it to be nice but know this- I fucking Kevin Hart and no; he can never be one to truly talk about black rights when all his jokes basically degrade black people. Such people who are comedians like that are dicks and aren't funny and just sad and always feel sorry that they have to go so far to hate theirselves to make people laugh and make money.
You know I might have lived a life for education and solely of this bullcrap education but it already had ended when I came to that college and that particular night I found I could not sleep in the place with the vomit... I stayed up a bit and then slept on a couch of sorts. Often in the past in my teenage years my parents where never supportive of me and my goals nor wanted to do which was create comics and stories. Aside to say they never were. It was all me the entire childhood and teenage years and surely adulthood and maybe just maybe these bitches are just abusive cunts who think they earned the roles of society and act the parts we should all recognize they don't fit well for how even moral they are compared or can never compared to the trash that funds the shit that ran through that dorm.
The fourth floor was something of a little party fantasy. You see at the end of this week. Everyone started to come together and party in unseen manners and ways. Meeting many people and else none of it mattered to many people but the people they could screw of course. But I remember sitting in that dorm lobby where I did sleep that week with some odd sense of pride. I remember how fucked up it was thinking you had made friends that Sunday night and realized that none of these people were your friends and staying up the entire night to rest a small time before rushing to class of course; shower already taken as the body needed no sleep. I remember kneeling on the ground and the sun reaching me. But noticing something odd as I did in that room. Maybe the sun shined but no people lived here. They were are but demons for then and tomorrow surely. But to say I realized some people would smile in the manner of the sun and were like me; humane and some people so disgusting and dark that maybe they-the college should actual kick such creatures of the night out as so the school never becomes a self realized cult for one fucked goal or another.
The people who smiled as the RAs talked or even shown some time of "excitement" where people. Even looking to me as I wondered why they would even look to me. I did not believe that people could actually like me in that time period and the reason was a time of teenage years and highschool not one person on this god fucked earth gave a shit about me. What did I even do for love? Fill it up with past visions of love and a world that was far gone and not destroyed by continuing to make my comics for Kyeombi. Comics were the only thing I was proud of. Proof that I was me and not some faggot of academics or some faggot of gangster wannabe or sports enthusiast.
The people who showed those feelings to me of excitement and directed their gaze at me were probably the only people who were ever worthwhile speaking to. It was a small group of people that came but you could see the suns from the dark shit that stood like black jutted stones waiting for people to people and show their humane character so they could stab them. And notedly in this story there are many people like that.
The days I hate the most. Every day I would go to English and Psychology and then Science on Monday and Wednesday. Was the absolute fucking worst. It was like sitting in a cult. To be fucked with an english, psychology and science questions while everyone stood there these blunt stones amongst the jagged trying to fit in this warped anti-modern and yet racist culture the university promoted. I hate that guy who dared wedge his way in between the first girl I ever spoke to for such a long time since 4th fucking grade. Him and his military fucking shit would be annoyance and a pit in my side. I tried to stick to the highschool way of believing we were friends in a group but I wanted to best that bitch but it never would be a good characteristic to do so. That psychology he nested in with that pity form of a teacher who claimed her good characteristic was youth as a claim to power and rather power in teaching ability was just one head cult leader in this whole fucking shit. Encouraging racism and segregation and getting into people's romantic and personal space is all she did. And that bitch military guy would talk and talk to her over and over again and yes the girl that I liked. But you know not every story is so morally sound. What if I told you it would have been impossible for me to speak to this girl had not something happened in the Monday first I went to that class. That would shatter years long of isolation and anger at people in general to give people a chance.
Retrospectively; if I had just continued in the ideas of rage maybe people would have become afraid of me and revered me in the ideals that I could fuck them up socially and yet covertly. I would not have to be dealing with all these dumb and nasty bitches who think they can raise up a leg and piss on me. But you know what; rage is not the way and certainly it is not healthy at all.
But I saw a girl in English class the first day who changed my perspective and maybe even my life. I would say my life. I ventured and vermeered to that english class on some half far away distance from the dorms. The grounds pretty much reminding me of falling one time in that fucked up city and not being able to play no more with a new friend I made and my parents blaming me all the way for the wound that only I had to bare whilst watching some African dance that really was a waste of my fucking life and time. The grounds to say were slippery and deceitful and seemed to be wanting for blood just as all the little colorful people of the world seemed to be. If you ask me; did there be any good people there at all but some dumb sluts in their fucking cults and groups-men and women and women and men of different singular and mixed formats? I say that all the good people knew when to get and when to quit. Never did any good people hang out in public. And if they did they did not ever do so on the fourth floor. There could be some exceptions my friends but no-most of the people were trash. And while on some other side of the side I lived on in that dorm. Lived some of the most nasty females that I ever would know. Some so dumb to believe their importance and hype and not realize people saw through all their constructs for whom they truly were. Some people don't have to try and fit in and are just who they are and somehow that makes them a target. That is a very intricate part of the story and whilst I would want to later talk to people who were humane realized I had too much a shit following to live a life in peace and not endanger these people by association to such trash.
I don't know man. One day as I came to that class from that dumb dorm. There was this morning sense and I remembered how I was late everyday for highschool and I always was guilted with the price of being tardy and my parents did not even a give a damn in retrospect. I saw this girl who was a former senior ahead of me and she said hello. I did want to be the one to date her but no one knows how to do any of that when they might as well been boxed into a room and chained to the ground and letters pile of a circumstance and they slowly work through the letters to build a foldable octagon large enough to break them out of the room from the letters and maybe just a bit of ambition to get inside the octagon and push. That would be a said analogy for what? My art and how it was the only thing that I had to get out of a bad situation or bad situations. I tell you-no math can do that for you.
But as I entered the sun was a low hum of yellow and strange paleness of yellow as I entered that pale building that reminded me of a bayou house or the house or building of a piano teacher. There was a hall way of great entrances and I followed the instructions to the building room I was to be. There was this girl alone and then this guy with battoons juggling them and talking to the girl. I believed they were like a set in stone couple already like in highschool. Often to say my friends. Being in a minority school is not good for anyone especially when minority students in the ap classes are just like racists of the alt right and the people who are basically the main students are so lost to their reasons for being there and always just procrastinate and do all the wrongs and never go anywhere in life by their own choosing. Many of the times such dynamics reveal that only girls accept only some boys who are the image of abuse they seek for various mannerisms. And lack the ability to think for theirselves and most of the time don't even like the fellow but the pain he represents. And the dude of course-thinks he has control over the girl and thinks he is such a man because of it. But it is wrong. He and they, she and her, he and we and she and they are but nothings. Who only promote their own sad self demise when anyone with a mind could wake up and not be such a bitch to continue shooting theirselves in the legs when everyone else wants them dead. But to say the girl and boy promote certain people being mocked and trashed because they aren't the image of either of what a boy or girl should be and maybe I thought this was just highschool continued.
The girl I saw later in that class was truly beautiful and I won't lie while some could say the teacher was hot and maybe even bangable. Let us remind ourselves that having sex is put a liability, waste of time and frankly to be avoided with people like teachers of course. But some fuckers would never get that and maybe they pass solely on that merit. But to say that of all these constants. The girl was like the sun in the room as another sun poured in and I realized as if a drip of people leaking into my thoughts and these cursed eyes gazing upon me as if to question my existence and my capility to even have " awe in beauty". But this girl was not just an outward beauty; she was an inner beauty. She looked towards me in the first part of class where I thought she was another brainless pairing with juggler bohemian overachiever. But she was not. She was alive. When she breathed I breathed that she breathed at all. When the class looked at me after a while with these demon eyes and that bitch from 8th grade looking as if she never saw me and wanting to be fitting in with cult activity...of looking at me with these, " who is he" eyes. These who is he eyes but in wonderment of disrespect to character and hate tinged with the compliance to be normal and humane on the shell but a monster inside. Regardless of these looks; prior I found that she looked me in the eyes with a want that was only equal respect and admiration and not compliance to be with someone because of a need to conform to self hatred. Not avoiding my eyes even when I was not looking at her. She looked at me only like a sun could look at me and then in a ray of one of my realizations that she could possibly like me and her beauty compelling inner and outer. The iceberg inside my heart-inside me all this time broke down into the waters of the compelling me and I woke up in mind breathe a new person.
I found myself then looked on with a swarm of evil eyes and the teacher always pinned on me even when I was awake and to be said was not asleep and told me to " wake up". Maybe it was not in that class and maybe she picked on me in other ways of how she gazed upon me and asked questions towards me and hindered me after class from speaking to a special someone. Maybe she was just a normal teacher but somewhere in me knew that she was just begging to the influence of this place in her own special way.
I looked to the girl and despite all the evil eyes and cult eyes she never stopped looking at me with conviction and the earnest heart that compelled her life and compelled a friction to make a heart speak.
But my friends all frictions that make hearts speak and known to you and the public aren't but a cry for help for all that the cult bearing society does to the spiritual and the wellness of the world. People just act as if they can desecrate all that is sacred because they solely believe spirituality and the real world is a primitive form of life stomped out with the natives of turtle rock. But I promise you the natives still live and maybe the spirituality of my ancestors still live in me to compel the message that proliferating scum that things it is so advanced has no place in the world but to realize their farce and yes the insignificance to change anything of spirituality and what people believe. You can not change the right of what people believe. In modern events; the actions of China is but a treat to the world's religious freedoms and maybe a grand certain center of this story is that these cult bearing eye glaring hoes of evil shit really think they even have the right to control, kill or maime people or try to ruin their social and romantic lives and all else lives of money and status just to deem their version of reality correct. But such evil is not reality but the twistings of a corruptive heart. People truly believe they can make the world this godless place, a place of evil and distractions of the twisted heart and this is part of that religion of such a place of diversity and yet cult life.
Yet to say that I would not have easy classes or ones that were ever easy to be in because the students or the teachers would somehow be involved in this evasive cult life and make it their every wish and goal to kick people over, invade their privacy and right to life and basic american freedoms for their own selfish ideals of society that can never be or be a society at all but a working crowd of humans as animals who just fuck and fornicate and think they do human tasks well when they don't. There is no forcing that " I have the right to live" on people who are borne evils and just want to fuck with people. For people who try to fuck with you, your space and your life and your ambitions and try to make everything so utterly complicated only a serial killer could have such complications on how certain things are just not done and a person be a person still. Self defense is all this story is all about and in the days that I hate the most. Talking to that girl called an "A" name would be like encroaching on this cult's believes that people are not entitled to live as a people but meat to slaughter just because they have humane values they can never ever fucking understand. Going to school in a situation like this is hard as every day and every minute they are trying to rip you down and make you look bad in front of everyone when in fact they are the people who are truly bad and yet odd in the world and to be said the worst cowards of all. So afraid that when people discover their human personality is but a farce to the animal within~ they will have nothing. And be able to do nothing and all their wishes to be a "somebody" go away. They cannot work and live being known as this monster.Who harrasses people, does not understand western rights for human lives mainly American rights and values and just thinks they are just and god being the most evil they can be because they must be god from the shiny hill they see the world and the only way to control anything to them is to push everything into a dark light and do evil at every turn and opportunity as if that is what they are borne for. This anti-outreach; is disturbing and the most forte of the story to come. But say friends; did I know of a moral trouble in talking to this girl whilst being interested foremost in another. There is no moral trouble when you aren't dating either of them.And even if you could date them both at the same time wouldn't you not treat them the best? Nothing would be wrong dating two girls at once least they don't consent to it, it hurts either one of them or you don't treat either well. But my friends; I was said focused on the themes of betrayal and that by ever sharing eyes with another girl I was betraying the girl who broke the ice.
But always to say things aren't wrong at all when you are not dating either one of them. And that maybe when some older guy tries to subvert a new friendship into something that is not advantageous to you and cares the girl away with wind and leaves you with little speaking space. Realize that maybe this guy needs to be punched with all the animals in human cloaks. Speaking of which the people could be said normal but still influenced by the cult lifestyle and for some people encourage high levels of hate and desperate needs to fit in. And some just these cults in hoods.
And maybe science is someone what close to what a person would want in college; eventually some type of person to communicate with in class with and not be guilted by stares as all seats fit in one direction and maybe people here just want to learn and really don't care for all that crap. Maybe you can find at least one person who talks to you and not of romantics but of friendship perhaps hinged close to an interest or not that may or may not be romantics at all.
Maybe the classes of math and history were classes were the great disparities between the cult following and the none cult following were seen and maybe math was a better class even though the tortured folks still continued a tired game of trying to control people. While history displayed the torture of people. Maybe they should speak when terrible things are shown to them besides in the folds of a history page and that a hot of a room in social climate is not the best place to learn.
Maybe the efforts of social were a waste and surely they were. Everyone who you see turning out just to be trash and nothing more and only some people who at some time or another realize they are too out about with trash and rescind into hiding leaving you all alone with outgoing trash in the common areas. And that while the girl who's heart beckons you will not answer because of the rising climatic of the people who attach too close and threaten to screw with everyone close to you. And maybe convey this in writing and wannabe drawings to be in reality but don't have the strength nor skill yet.
Maybe you practice all this time and start a blog over the days I hate the most and decide to fuck over the english professor by proving you can write a book while they assign this tiresome rewrite of history as the same article topic over and over again. Yet deriving a testament about how people choose to view people in a color hostile manner and purposely get into their social lives by that very standard and yes believing a view of the world that is so central to them being superior and other inferior even if its not by skin color but by ability to do something at all. Yet realizing that in the end after the particular time period of breaks where the girl seems to yearn for you to talk to her realize there is no other way to be but loyal in the end. Loyal to the cause to keep her safe from all the bastards around you hang with that she of course never hangs with by choice quiet maybe for good fucking reasons. Loyal to yourself to keep pushing your dreams to reality. Even if it revolves leaving her behind in this place. This person who got you to change to be a better person.
You might not even go back to that school but to see how much a shithole it is at every turn of going back and maybe the last time after a particular storm is the last straw and links certain activities that happen in else regions to this one place of the cult activity and mindset in a university. Not to be said this mentality occurs in a place where people want to accept the diversity message and be proud of it but don't know the real life consequences and how maybe this mindset of diversity is just to allow one of slave trafficking of those of diversity converse not at all with the cult mentality but a by product of people in academics being led to believe people are at all different from another at all and that some people don't have the rights to live humane lives and not shrouded by the mental depravity of selfish and self centered sociopaths and psycopaths to believe the only way to better anything is through evil and believing everything is construed to lead to evil even the existence of other people of color. Yet so only believing they must better by evil because that is the only way they can control anything they see~in a way to keep their status mental quo of living sane and correct when their view of reality is evil and wrong and truly not a representation of reality at all but selfish spun out desires of a corrupted heart.
You may wait for a time to get back to a point you should have never been stopped at because people can only believe in bettering things they don't understand by doing wrong or killing people for the reason they don't understand or they don't know people at all and think they can discount people because they aren't fucked up like them. But my friends that all ends today. Some people might have thought it funny to make me come to class and mock me for even coming and then engaging we have to write an article over and over again and somehow I am not good enough and it is just bias and a system of it. The days I hate the most are days when people don't know the truth a growing evil in education, higher and lower and thus society.
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