That monday continued.
To openly say have spoke this many times. But I am just for this time going to talk about the best times of that one psychology period before it. It is like before a bomb drops and you are sure you will protect those that you love but fail because the bomb blasts everything good away and you may all survive but some people may but so injured they cannot talk to people the same way or in the same sphere as before of happiness but a surrounding of sorrow and guilt. I rather speak of how I spoke to her that one day. Such courage was it to ever speak to her as I approached. I thought of what to say and made sure I pronounced the words that people could clearly hear what I say. Many people believe and deem me to be this individual who cannot speak well and well in this feat I proved them wrong.
Countless times in education prior people always tried to make me the inferior whether it be teachers and students or just students or teachers. I seriously thought that people were beyond that at higher education but bullies never go away they just take another and more abusive form and that is to be proven by a later story.
"hello" I said.
"hello" she said back.
I honestly was surprised she said anything at all. Some people just don't say anything when people tell them hello and if anything reflects poorly on them as people but rather selfish beings who just don't get communication yet want something out of it.
"are you waiting for this class" she said.
"yea" I said even caught more by surprise she said anything back to me.
"what's your name" I said starting to be bold; it was like in some seconds I had become freed from this role of being through trash at by other people.
"------", she said, " yours..."
"-----", I said, " are you a new student here?"
"no," she said. " I am a second year student".
"oh," I said.
" you are?" she asked.
"I am a first year student", I said.
"how is it being a second year student?" I asked only to keep the conversation going. Yes, I was very good at that.
"its not very different from being a freshman- I only been here one more year" She said.
" well class is about to begin see you around-in class" she said. Noticing the class before was letting out.
"alright, it was nice talking to you", I said.
I was very nervous and shaky afterwards and took a moment to look at the place elsewise before heading in. People started to arrive after the teacher and I went in. But it would not be a fun talk or a learning advent like to talking to the girl. Just a place that mocked you ever learned anything in your life and that education was for meaningful developments and a non-hostile environment. Kudos, I could not drop that class because I did not want to be this uneven fluid student not ready to commit to anything and plus did not want to because the girl was there. Yet I would try my hardest to succeed and not fall literally to failure and death on those stairs. What happened in that class was highschool and university corporate hell combined. The teacher was one of the new types of people who just graduated college and only recently started to practice psychology and there was something strange about the woman's demeanor and frankly to be said in retrospect because she engaged in the lofty corrupt culture of the university that even the students find great attend to of certain niches of dorm, sorority and administration work place. There are so many countless examples you would be looking to excuse everything just for the sake of this place's image which is what many people just do because they think they are so damn right in seeable morals that anyone who is sane and of the modern knows is wrong.
I won't go into detail about what happened in that class. I sat with the girl from before. This army guy that came in later and probably I wished he never came in at all. These fat dudes ; one of which smelled bad or least two of them. It was like this highschool set up at the table sat it. This army guy basically would be the talker to woe the girl. I would at least try to talk to her but yea when the professor is a bitch who likes only the army guy she kind of calls you out or does things like call you the opposite gender for ever trying to speak to the girl. And while those first days even the fat guys had equal talking space and seemed to get along by the end when some or none appeared to class; they had no talking space anymore and even treated worse by the teacher. To say that the teacher was not very approachable at all. And maybe people are forced to just insure a certain girl safety when maybe the teacher inspires odd behavior amongst the students almost like a cult following and they cannot seem to think for theirselves. And as well "unknown" phenomenon promotes you to just think of a person's safety over your advent of getting to know them which could be short time give how the "unknown" convinces people to certain unmentionable things and the "unknown" itself is just a pawn in a larger more cruel scheme to control the romantic habits of the students within the university. The " unknown" while you might think people would never listen to suggestions of such when any form of " university" or "university pride" is mentioned to fucks who cannot think for theirselves combined with their lack of morals and mental control and yet perspective of reality of the world itself and interconnecting cultures and colored people all sorts of mayhem does pursue and surely there is proof certainly of people falling to such suggestions from else "unknown" that is just a pawn to a certain individual who runs the university. Making this class the dead spot where the dead deer is found in the woods and while you trace your life to tackling a bear full of seemingly normal and maybe some abnormal problems and adversities. The mutant bear with the disease that killed the dead deer is out on a rampage and other animals become mutants just by being immoral and simply wanting to do evil and listening to shit that just feeds their immoral fantasties and enacting on it. And maybe the dead deer was killed by the mutant bear or it was killed not by the "unknown" but the forces that control the "unknown" and the people who do else said bad things when not in public eye and some bold enough not to give a fuck to do unacceptable things in your face. People who else wise believe they belong to a master race- a quiet silly idea but it is scary when you experience it most hand to say these people are crazy, have no remorse and do the most evil in covert and acceptable manners. else to say that maybe the deer before is accompanied by a deer that somehow climbed to the top of the stairs in one building and jumped to their death via suggestions of self harm from the "unknown" thus the people at the top of the university who have certain perameters they want to see in students. Willing and compliant fools somehow are supposed to learn and maybe its learning being had at this university-just overwhelming sums of privilege and discrimination no matter the color of a person's skin and maybe people who kill theirselves at this university-the news is never made public because the university has its pockets in local news. Disgusting it all is.
But this day only get a small picture of that from how vile everyone else behave and acts that is truly abnormal and seek to say these people act as if in a cult. And my friends no one should have to be bothered by this behavior or activity or abuses of focusing too much on dumbasses who play football and else if never were in football would never be in school and never responding to the great harm placing importance on such people does to women indeed and maybe male individuals as well. No one should when people pay money they don't even have. And don't even get a good quality education, treated well or feel as if their lives are even safe.
People want improvement in their lives; not destruction.
Countless times in education prior people always tried to make me the inferior whether it be teachers and students or just students or teachers. I seriously thought that people were beyond that at higher education but bullies never go away they just take another and more abusive form and that is to be proven by a later story.
"hello" I said.
"hello" she said back.
I honestly was surprised she said anything at all. Some people just don't say anything when people tell them hello and if anything reflects poorly on them as people but rather selfish beings who just don't get communication yet want something out of it.
"are you waiting for this class" she said.
"yea" I said even caught more by surprise she said anything back to me.
"what's your name" I said starting to be bold; it was like in some seconds I had become freed from this role of being through trash at by other people.
"------", she said, " yours..."
"-----", I said, " are you a new student here?"
"no," she said. " I am a second year student".
"oh," I said.
" you are?" she asked.
"I am a first year student", I said.
"how is it being a second year student?" I asked only to keep the conversation going. Yes, I was very good at that.
"its not very different from being a freshman- I only been here one more year" She said.
" well class is about to begin see you around-in class" she said. Noticing the class before was letting out.
"alright, it was nice talking to you", I said.
I was very nervous and shaky afterwards and took a moment to look at the place elsewise before heading in. People started to arrive after the teacher and I went in. But it would not be a fun talk or a learning advent like to talking to the girl. Just a place that mocked you ever learned anything in your life and that education was for meaningful developments and a non-hostile environment. Kudos, I could not drop that class because I did not want to be this uneven fluid student not ready to commit to anything and plus did not want to because the girl was there. Yet I would try my hardest to succeed and not fall literally to failure and death on those stairs. What happened in that class was highschool and university corporate hell combined. The teacher was one of the new types of people who just graduated college and only recently started to practice psychology and there was something strange about the woman's demeanor and frankly to be said in retrospect because she engaged in the lofty corrupt culture of the university that even the students find great attend to of certain niches of dorm, sorority and administration work place. There are so many countless examples you would be looking to excuse everything just for the sake of this place's image which is what many people just do because they think they are so damn right in seeable morals that anyone who is sane and of the modern knows is wrong.
I won't go into detail about what happened in that class. I sat with the girl from before. This army guy that came in later and probably I wished he never came in at all. These fat dudes ; one of which smelled bad or least two of them. It was like this highschool set up at the table sat it. This army guy basically would be the talker to woe the girl. I would at least try to talk to her but yea when the professor is a bitch who likes only the army guy she kind of calls you out or does things like call you the opposite gender for ever trying to speak to the girl. And while those first days even the fat guys had equal talking space and seemed to get along by the end when some or none appeared to class; they had no talking space anymore and even treated worse by the teacher. To say that the teacher was not very approachable at all. And maybe people are forced to just insure a certain girl safety when maybe the teacher inspires odd behavior amongst the students almost like a cult following and they cannot seem to think for theirselves. And as well "unknown" phenomenon promotes you to just think of a person's safety over your advent of getting to know them which could be short time give how the "unknown" convinces people to certain unmentionable things and the "unknown" itself is just a pawn in a larger more cruel scheme to control the romantic habits of the students within the university. The " unknown" while you might think people would never listen to suggestions of such when any form of " university" or "university pride" is mentioned to fucks who cannot think for theirselves combined with their lack of morals and mental control and yet perspective of reality of the world itself and interconnecting cultures and colored people all sorts of mayhem does pursue and surely there is proof certainly of people falling to such suggestions from else "unknown" that is just a pawn to a certain individual who runs the university. Making this class the dead spot where the dead deer is found in the woods and while you trace your life to tackling a bear full of seemingly normal and maybe some abnormal problems and adversities. The mutant bear with the disease that killed the dead deer is out on a rampage and other animals become mutants just by being immoral and simply wanting to do evil and listening to shit that just feeds their immoral fantasties and enacting on it. And maybe the dead deer was killed by the mutant bear or it was killed not by the "unknown" but the forces that control the "unknown" and the people who do else said bad things when not in public eye and some bold enough not to give a fuck to do unacceptable things in your face. People who else wise believe they belong to a master race- a quiet silly idea but it is scary when you experience it most hand to say these people are crazy, have no remorse and do the most evil in covert and acceptable manners. else to say that maybe the deer before is accompanied by a deer that somehow climbed to the top of the stairs in one building and jumped to their death via suggestions of self harm from the "unknown" thus the people at the top of the university who have certain perameters they want to see in students. Willing and compliant fools somehow are supposed to learn and maybe its learning being had at this university-just overwhelming sums of privilege and discrimination no matter the color of a person's skin and maybe people who kill theirselves at this university-the news is never made public because the university has its pockets in local news. Disgusting it all is.
But this day only get a small picture of that from how vile everyone else behave and acts that is truly abnormal and seek to say these people act as if in a cult. And my friends no one should have to be bothered by this behavior or activity or abuses of focusing too much on dumbasses who play football and else if never were in football would never be in school and never responding to the great harm placing importance on such people does to women indeed and maybe male individuals as well. No one should when people pay money they don't even have. And don't even get a good quality education, treated well or feel as if their lives are even safe.
People want improvement in their lives; not destruction.
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