uptoyoupt2.

Up to You.

It is up to you what you do in your life. In 2011 before the writing of a work called Idea Database. The church I went to was doing some expansions and did church at the Humble Civic Center- like a engagement place for events and things. The time of life at that time was harsh and bothersome- as well a s teenage element and the church seemed to crush any fun to be had in life if not interest in living it as a good person. However while I could have just gave in I did not. I would make this place somehow beneficial to me when clearly it was not. I would take at least  5 more years just to do that.
But ideally I tuned out everything during this time period and did not pay attention to anything and thought comics and other works and how to reach these goals. I did not care about the church at all anymore. But I still believed in God because lowermost I always had suspicion about the true character of the pastor who led the church and highermost because I would believe regardless of whatever anyone did.

This pastor at the time of 2011 was trying to be a regional Barack and (whatever Barack's wife name) Obamal. The leading light of christianity and the savior of the black race such many years after its many civil leaders have been massacred or assassinated only leaving people who accept jobs for pay
to represent a criminal who never accurately represents real black youth. Such a hero; I quickly became tried of this bastard. In the years after leaving one particular college did in fact read the bible in certain parts and certainly my friend adultery is wrong and is a sin. Yet later on by 2016 it certainly became clear that something truly was wrong in the church. The pastor's wife no longer came to church. She being a doctor maybe had a reason but the real reason was something else entirely. In 2015; one could day that when the pastor was talking about going to Haiti- people get a certain premonition about a "son" and the pastor sees it as well. But premonition is like a gut feeling of a future event. That to say the pastor had seemed to only have two girls as children. And that maybe his next child could be male. But maybe when a person thinks to see that and the preacher also recognizes...when everyone gazes at his children when he mentions them and only you for knowing him so long would look him in the eye to see that he shows a face of guilt~ you representing a younger male group that grew up at the church under this pastor and maybe the own thus pastors want to have a male child. As if maybe the premonition is backwards. And he has already had a boy that is not present and can never be. To say that you are probably the only boy of a certain generation even remaining as others have gone to college and some do not come to church any longer to remind him of such a connecting want. It shows that maybe something is odd but yet you are not some super genius. And only thinks its odd he looks at you with a face of guilt after he mentions his children and you see the likely chance that he could possibly have more and even a male child. Because maybe its just human nature to expect that when the man has a wife and its a likely possibility especially when the wife has not been seen in a while. Only later does it all make sense.

After you are tried of going to this church and dealing with the people therein. Somehow it becomes mentioned that the pastor has another son before the son he currently has in 2017. How terrible it is that everyone by the end of the pursuit of the discussion to forget adultery as a sin but his image as some type of helper in the community being sullied~ no one cares that the son he had can never come to church. Never be apart of the church and never be apart of his father's life and just hidden as if he never was important enough to even exist. Just hidden for this guy to have his image. And maybe this child will just grow up to hate his father and maybe everything under religion. And really to be said his mother and him have moved to another state. As if to further eliminate being a risk to this his father's image or rather not be bothered by the father.  To say while people in this particular church would relish to defend the pastor. The wife is entirely wronged in the pursuit of this man's happiness if not all his children and eventually one day when they are teenagers or adults will have to face the fact of this adultery in real life in all its dimensions. Because who is to say that these children don't want to know the other son? Their sibling? Would they not be curious. I said to this either damn thing it reminded me too much of what happened in Persona 5 Prime Minister hopeful that; I did  not want to be bothered with that negativity or having to help foster beliefs the pastor is right for his sin of adultery and should be able to hide it from the public and not express it publicly. While I wish he would turn it into an opportunity for better faith rhetorics; he did not and two years have passed. A time in which I have skipped church entirely only going rarely. Seemingly to express that everyone have the courtesy to look the other way to a grievous sin committed and not only that treating a human life-his own son's life as if it does not matter. While he might talk and talk about all his other children never in the timespan from 2011 to 2017 did he ever talk about his other child. To say he does not give a fuck about this child, has no love and prefers to be this holy pastor than this boy's father which can remind him of sin he committed. So vain the pastor truly is to hate someone who is his own son enough to never mention he has been alive since 2011 or that time period surrounding. That he could never be the christian authority nor anyone to hear the voice of god when he swats it away and just does wrong while trying to then reach him for glory and power. It is terrible to say and I wanted no part in it. Other people don't give a fuck and act as if he right for doing the sin of adultery and other ills implied to cover it up and lying. Which is why they must say in the good book why a person should not lie because maybe covering up a murder and helping a murderer bury a body is a bad thing to do and makes you compliant.

I find it that it is no dishonor that after 6 years after 2011 and the events within 2011 that many bad things happened to me and others just because we put our faith into an image of a pastor and thus church that was never right. To say honestly while I never believed this pastor's presidential image; I was betrayed among others that he was a person of faith and a person of God. A seeing how his son will always be bastardized not only by his father but by his supporters to cover up the fact his father sinned- I can say that this person is not  a person of faith and maybe the easter celebration they hold this sunday spits in the face of Jesus proclaiming to be the most just adherents to the christian faith.

Yes; but it is up to people to decide to go along with such twisted covenants as this one and in the end I decide to never ever even believe this bastard pastors hype or that he anything but evil.