Laid in my bed.
One day after surgery I'd lay in my bed and totally numb and angry and so angry I was that this all had happened to me at all. And then I would day dream about sex. Such of the reason of intrigue and disrespect by those in which I could now, not give a flipping fuck and them not give a flipping fuck about me. They would have these couples maybe they went somewhere but then maybe they did not.
I had a secret and maybe it was not a secret. But maybe and quiet possibly these people were so misled, having people encounter them in their times of need and lead them astray or right away but really who has the right to just do that in the premise of which they in that place are just being used as tools in the first place so it really does not matter because they are just being viewed as tools anyhow.
I laid in my bed. I found that I was dreaming about this nonsense shit and that I just read a manga to get my mind off of it. I would read the dirty ones when it was dark and when it was light and that is when I found what I wanted to do. A different format, one full of sex and one so full of sex that people would wonder about real sex and possibly venture for it. See the possibilities of sex in different worlds and then that is when I knew I had to start a set up for something new.
I had saw something amazing, a multi form of folding blankets and the deed not awry but the deed in true. I was true inspired and I smelled the form of the folding blankets, I placated that there was a short cropped woman and then I felt the nipples of her breast as what seemed to be a road going fast faced insider of her and I yelled. This is exactly what I was thinking about...she contracted and it all came out. And then I awoke to cold reality. The life without the dreams I had aspired to was not a life at all and may and must I go and get it, I would.
As I laid in my bed, I wished someone was there beside me, just any girl lucky enough to like me in any such manner. If not eventually. I just laid in my bed and thought of mountains and the couple that would have sex there, I thought grand. I just could not stop these thoughts of loneliness.
After I had left that place had anyone really contacted me. I had not expected them to, but at least the people on the facebook should have at at least tried to keep in contact with me. After all we all did those games, and breakfasts and hangouts and sometimes studies all together. But really, I realized maybe in that time everything was forced on by circumstance but not one thing else. And maybe getting rid of such fake farce was the best thing to do or maybe it was not all fake. Or maybe it was just some rotten apples in the group that I overlooked without realizing the impact these people had even made. I think that really; I was just a lone wolf who only had made some friends, a lot in his travels around and really no one I actually had become friends with perhaps I just spent the time of which I should have tried to develop deeper meanings.
But I was here and my Cosmica project was well off put by my health being wrecked. I think that I had enough one night. And decided to create again. I started with Match and in the mid July, I had finished it and started on Cosmica. I laid in my bed and I was amazed in the marvelous pain and how it seeped out. Some people had gotten their way but they would not like the kick back, this was when I truly got interested in taking on the truth and ending a problem that no one wanted to tackle at all.
But I realized else I did not have a chance but allow these people to come and try to make me kick the bucket again, enough was enough. I was tried and people were not treating me right and trying to block every right of mine to be a human... and have romantic ventures that actually went the way they were supposed to without their nasty intervention.
I hesitated because I then realized after that venture to that hospital; that they were everywhere and not just confined to my circumstance. I would be real wise and create a new solution to my problems by creating a safe space and one where the dreams of ambitions of the dream I once had could be reality when meant to certain parameters. However, no one else was to ever be involved in this venture but me or I would be doing the same or even worse as the people I did not want to be of.
And there again; I laid in my bed and then cried myself to sleep. Or at least in the back of my mind, I put on a fake smile like the day I first stayed at that school to mock it and all that had occurred there and then that day I walked into that class; I discovered the very cause of the injury done to me-their influence was everywhere and had manifested in one crazy looking girl with a serial killer glare. Yet trying to play puppy. I did not overreact but I promised I would spare not one detail when I finally reach the otherside of this venture.
I had a secret and maybe it was not a secret. But maybe and quiet possibly these people were so misled, having people encounter them in their times of need and lead them astray or right away but really who has the right to just do that in the premise of which they in that place are just being used as tools in the first place so it really does not matter because they are just being viewed as tools anyhow.
I laid in my bed. I found that I was dreaming about this nonsense shit and that I just read a manga to get my mind off of it. I would read the dirty ones when it was dark and when it was light and that is when I found what I wanted to do. A different format, one full of sex and one so full of sex that people would wonder about real sex and possibly venture for it. See the possibilities of sex in different worlds and then that is when I knew I had to start a set up for something new.
I had saw something amazing, a multi form of folding blankets and the deed not awry but the deed in true. I was true inspired and I smelled the form of the folding blankets, I placated that there was a short cropped woman and then I felt the nipples of her breast as what seemed to be a road going fast faced insider of her and I yelled. This is exactly what I was thinking about...she contracted and it all came out. And then I awoke to cold reality. The life without the dreams I had aspired to was not a life at all and may and must I go and get it, I would.
As I laid in my bed, I wished someone was there beside me, just any girl lucky enough to like me in any such manner. If not eventually. I just laid in my bed and thought of mountains and the couple that would have sex there, I thought grand. I just could not stop these thoughts of loneliness.
After I had left that place had anyone really contacted me. I had not expected them to, but at least the people on the facebook should have at at least tried to keep in contact with me. After all we all did those games, and breakfasts and hangouts and sometimes studies all together. But really, I realized maybe in that time everything was forced on by circumstance but not one thing else. And maybe getting rid of such fake farce was the best thing to do or maybe it was not all fake. Or maybe it was just some rotten apples in the group that I overlooked without realizing the impact these people had even made. I think that really; I was just a lone wolf who only had made some friends, a lot in his travels around and really no one I actually had become friends with perhaps I just spent the time of which I should have tried to develop deeper meanings.
But I was here and my Cosmica project was well off put by my health being wrecked. I think that I had enough one night. And decided to create again. I started with Match and in the mid July, I had finished it and started on Cosmica. I laid in my bed and I was amazed in the marvelous pain and how it seeped out. Some people had gotten their way but they would not like the kick back, this was when I truly got interested in taking on the truth and ending a problem that no one wanted to tackle at all.
But I realized else I did not have a chance but allow these people to come and try to make me kick the bucket again, enough was enough. I was tried and people were not treating me right and trying to block every right of mine to be a human... and have romantic ventures that actually went the way they were supposed to without their nasty intervention.
I hesitated because I then realized after that venture to that hospital; that they were everywhere and not just confined to my circumstance. I would be real wise and create a new solution to my problems by creating a safe space and one where the dreams of ambitions of the dream I once had could be reality when meant to certain parameters. However, no one else was to ever be involved in this venture but me or I would be doing the same or even worse as the people I did not want to be of.
And there again; I laid in my bed and then cried myself to sleep. Or at least in the back of my mind, I put on a fake smile like the day I first stayed at that school to mock it and all that had occurred there and then that day I walked into that class; I discovered the very cause of the injury done to me-their influence was everywhere and had manifested in one crazy looking girl with a serial killer glare. Yet trying to play puppy. I did not overreact but I promised I would spare not one detail when I finally reach the otherside of this venture.
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