Lady Quest; The Venus Saga part 1.

 Venus

Part 1 before march 3rd.

    Particularly, I had a fellow who I was a friend with at the being of the 1st time period before March 3rd. I mean Christmas Break ended and she was frankly the only person I spoke to out of obligations as a friend. Did I like this person? I did not.

    Alas, one day she was at a table and I came to join her. I showed her my works Zino Flyboy and said, " want to see how much of this can I get done in before my class". She nodded her head and rested it on the table, "sure". I kept drawing and drawing. To note; these were additional elements of Zino Flyboy that are still in limbo rather. Somewhat there was some warmth in receiving her support but I realized I just did not like the person that way. I mean; they were up at this school wearing a blanket and sleeping anywhere they could like it was their mission. They probably could have monetized that if smart. Yet I never spoke to them on why their behavior was weird or tried to change them; that is just who they  were I realized. Also it was not my responsibility to be bothered with changing them.

    Maybe they expected me to change them as I had more skill than them but lo and behold, they on this day said, " I used to draw, I just cannot get up to do it". They did not want to be drawing or an artist-just a person who had given up on theirselves and was sleeping away their life. I knew that any form of encouragement would be counteractive but then I hoped this person seeing me draw would trigger something within them but really it did not. They did not want to advance or learn at all. I remember they were not there when I returned. 

Part 2; Context and Other Elements to consider.

    Basically; this person I had been friends with since the semester before. They in this time period would be friendly. I could sit with them and they would not be odd. Many times starting in February, they just started sleeping alot and very much; what a terrible state to be in. I mean this person did  not dress like they were going outside many of the times but lounging in the bed. Often bringing blankets and the sort. I am to say that; I really at the time did not recognize how much danger they were constantly placing theirselves in by sleeping at the front of the main building which could be considered a safe location because everyone could see you there.  It was not until the 2nd half where I did not see them for awhile (Because I just felt creeped out sitting next to them when all they did was sleep. I mean, I really did not like the person and really did not come to see them sleep. I came to talk. They were the only person in which I could actually speak to anywhere.) that I realized when I saw them sleeping on a bench on the top floor of an academic building that just maybe they were putting theirselves in harms way. 

   I mean lots of time periods at the top of this place, there would be no one there and just people in their classes. Who literally is not to say someone would try to fool around with you in your sleep or steal your stuff. Alas, I think to say that in the time before March the 3rd; Venus, was a particularly nice individual who was not so indulged in sleeping. No, if anything-they slept less in this time period and really much weren't so focused on making theirselves a target. The thing is folks, that this school-a community college that flooded over only was safe in the times after fall 2017 because alot of people had been chased away from coming to the school at all. In spring 2017, there were several instances of people-women being touched inappropriately on the benches at the front of the school.

    I am to say that perhaps it was different later on where there was a constant flow of people at the front almost at all times. I think later on they had more events in the main building and more special lectures so basically the front was safe. It was not until later after March the 3rd, where I saw this woman sleeping at the top of the main building did I recognize that they were always in danger. Especially in the academic building. Even if things were safer even at the front, they were still in danger. I was to be concerned later about their safety but not before after March the 3rd when I saw them again after they basically stopped talking most of the time and just went to sleep much of the time. So much that you could not be friends with a sleeping person. Expecting them to wake was just something that I realized was stupid to do and really much one day just got up at the middle of February and did not see them again ever until  maybe about a later week in March.

So frankly for many weeks I just passed by them and all they were doing was sleeping and sometimes they weren't even there at all. Other times she would be awake and say hello. I would only say hello back and continue on my way. I would pass when I was to leave for the day and the person would be asleep. I am to say that why do I even talk about this person as a woman of interest in a romantic sense? Its only because that is what she wanted to act like at the end of things and really betrayed any friendship at all.

    I mean; I did surely did not belong even speaking to this person. They weren't of the most attractive or productive tendencies and all they did was sleep, laze and sloth around town. But I asked myself; why not give them a chance? They could actually be a good person despite their flaws and lack of effort to do anything much in their lives. Yet whilst it seemed to be all good at the very start where I could show them things and even talk to them-they just curled up into their misery and by the end of that were just a very vain and shallow person who wanted to self project their interests as the values of others. This person by the end of things in the 2nd time period after  March the 3rd just wanted to be of those people who would blame you for them having an interest in you. What was worse, it is that it was sexually motivated. Did I ever want to sleep with this person ever? No, and frankly that is my whole ideals with all the women I ever meet. I am to say that there is no future in something in which people never agree theirselves to do or be together in any capacity to do. I never was with any of these women at all and never reached any great relationship where I would say, " I want to settle down with this person and have a family with them". Nope. That is not what I wanted at all. I did not look upon people and think, " what would our future family look like". I would say that many women would think these things and just imagine the "details" that were just delusions of their racist and hateful backgrounds. Oh yea, how do I come to this conclusion. It always comes out in their speech or demeanor or both. Frankly, I realized it was a red flag and really much if someone is so fixated on an outcome they think will happen from socializing with you, something is a matter with them because I never consented to their ideas and frankly don't care for them. All their instances of a future are ones based on fear, racist stereotypes and just vast generalizations that aren't true. It might shock these people but no one ever wanted to have any form of sex with them at all. You never have to ask sane people to not just jump to fearful conclusions. Really much if anyone would be hoping assume you would be doing something to fit a racist stereotype; they are off their rockers and pretty much have criminal intents from that already.

    Imagine if I was a woman instead of a man. A man wishing to have sex with women and have children with them that they don't want and don't the women don't condone or consent to that idea  yet continuing to push these ideas would be a criminal. A creep. And certainly would not be a good citizen in any guise. I am to say that society does not accept that men can be sexually harassed at all and that when women come with these desperate guises of civility-men should celebrate when its thrown to them especially men of color. I am to say that it is a bunch of bullshit. Yet I express that really what got me every time this last semester were these fiendish generalizations. Made me not trust these people, hate them and really just felt betrayed( many times would be able to stay in good conversations  with people but then their evil came out and all cordial notions were thrown out by seeming a need by these people to be racist or just plan evil). They and the world seem to say, " so what if you are offended, that is what you get". I do relate that I have felt like this in other situations before hand fall 2018 or winter/spring but I am to focus on only those two time periods in Lady Quest. But let me say that really much you could feel a great anger from realizing people who you gave a chance where nothing more than scum. If they had be born men, they would be the ones doing the things they want to blame you of doing in their delusional manner.

     Alas, this friend of mine who slept everywhere by the end just would be a person to take the low road of these notions and excel to insult me and even my trust in them. Really much just tossed everything of our friendship out of the window and just left it a "shut topic" as if I did not have a say for whatever they would like to believe they could excuse me for.  This is to say that really much; some people in this world should not be helped. You should not try to help them. Even if you did-they would just try to crash and burn you along with them.

     I really don't go the distance to say that this person failed at school. But goodness gracious, what can you do all day when all you do is sleep and sleep to mask your problems? How can your life be better when you are always asleep? How can you improve and how can you grow. Ultimately, I am to say that its not likely this individual even passed the community college which by now-this semester could have been their last. Yet they really for the heck of it-are likely enough not to be successful at all when all they do is sleep and all they venture is to sleep and distance theirselves from real tangible people and not fake ones of their sleepy make believe.

    Yes, its very hard to not sound bitter when just this person knowing you more than any other person just choose to do whatever they knew others were doing and view that option as a good. Basically saying, "fuck off" after having no real merit to some imposed belief that you had done wrong or were wrong and were simply too lazy to even reason what they truly were doing and if it would piss anyone off. They just saw being a racist a thing to be acceptable and just the right thing to do to escape treating real people as they should treated and did so to seemingly save theirselves from an imaginary myth because they "witnessed" others were doing the same. Really much I am to say that honestly, really lost nothing at all and frankly at the end did not even care about the person after they  just refused to treat me as a person but just as person to be dealt this hatred because "that is how its supposed to be". The real problem of why I care is because they wanted to pretend as if they cared about being "not racist" but were the first person when most convenient to them would make up bullshit and refuse to speak to you as if you did something wrong to them.  I am to say there is just the feeling of petting a snake and the snake bites you yet you rip it off and scream, "fuck".  The person thought they were being effective in distancing theirselves from me without even giving me a way to express myself even when we were friends-but really they were just being annoying. Just pushing down on a lever that just drives even more home how some women are nothing more than people without either minds or any moral compass and seek to just frame people in a racist instance simply because they have no communication skills, no empathy and no respect for human life.

    How hard it would be for a person to say, " I don't want to be your friend anymore". It would not be hard. But expressly a person who cannot even say that was never a friend at all. They never respected you and they never respected anything of reality or real social interaction or how the real social world works. You just don't out of the blue just treat a person who you were friends with like trash and refuse to speak to them.  This person was literally so lazy and stupid to think that they were actually being productive in their narrative where they had fended me, the "bad guy" off by refusing to speak. They thought you were so easy to just place in a box of belittlement and being a second class citizen when really you were just being like, "okay, there is another one of these racists, just let them think they did shit". I mean really was I looking towards this person as a romantic anything? The answer is fuck no, again. She frankly was not pretty. She dressed almost similar to hobos. Slept all the time. Its fucking ridiculous if I never wanted to sleep with women prettier than her that suddenly I wanted to sleep with her. I mean they say what is on the inside counts and it does but this person just wanted to think I was into them like that. I was not.  I mean, she could keep those ideas to herself and just keep them there; she had lost probably the only person on the whole campus who would dare to associate with her.  That was her reward to trying to think she could pull, "the sexually aggressive colored person compliant routine" over me. I am to say that really; the person was completely ugly and really much that is inside and out. There are so many things a person could have done but none of them would been good. I could have told the front office in the school that there was homeless person inside the building and get them to harass her. Oh, I mean that really-when your identity at the community campus is questioned, you have to have an id or your id number at hand. I mean I went through an experience where I had to prove I was a student and yea, I could have done that and maybe she would be forced to clean up her act if the school people did not approve of her get up. Yet that would have been evil. I could have yelled at the person and made a big fuss on how they were treating me. The person was in the realm of sleep so much that they were more into the world of sleep than in the real world. Literally, would even yelling and making a fuss even do anything to do them? It also would not have boded well on my appearance and anyone can say that it would not be the proper social manner. All I could do was make a clenched fist and walk away. I mean that figurative. This person was not even worth a clenched fist.

    Alas, this person just started as a friend and went bad over time through self indulgence in many fantasies. One of course that they could sleep all they long and two  that they could implement racist ideals to their advantage because they sucked at talking with people. If you are friends primarily with janitors, the school grounds workers and outsiders to the school's often racist , non practical/out of touch with reality nonsense and appearance bliss driven folks-you probably had no skill in speaking with anyone. You had none because all those people just felt sorry for you rather than actually want to be speaking to you on equal terms. Its kinda of pathetic how I just got dealted another racist bluff card of " I want out of a situation I think is dangerous when literally people are just fucking speaking to you" from someone really who was aiming to be a hobo and a hobo with any morals. Like did I suddenly enter a desperate and cutthroat world from one of those dark mangas were almost any good ally you want to have on your side is just corrupted by their own ambitions and inhibitions? Pretty much it and that is why I write about Lady Quest. Because frankly, why did this person change so much over time to where they just wanted to copy other people's behaviors seeing that as a way to get at me. Why did they even want to get at me? Did they think treating me this way was going to change their lives for the better and grant them power external? I think these questions have been asked.

    They simply changed basically because they were selfish and really did nothing in their life but be a sponge for other people's ideas and mannerisms and put theirselves at the bottom of the ladder in everyway. Minorly, I would say from my current lookback, that they were jealous of my skills and how much I did accomplish with Zino Flyboy but alasl; everything was mostly because they were feeble minded, selfish and really thought smiting me would add "order" back into the world. Really racial purity was their idol. Just real much like a Trump supporter or common lowly racist who thinks that believing their racist shit will make them better than others. This is rooted in history, I don't think I need to tell you. Yet they were so lazy in their ideas in contrast to what actually was there. I mean do you think a lowly racist or Trump supporter actually has any friends of color? To suddenly try to diss people who were your friend just to try and gain some advantage through feigned superiority of race is so forced that they knew what they were doing. And frankly could be considered worse than some people I have met with racist intents. I never became friends with them. No, this person was just a fool and really much the type of person who would stab you in the back when you guided them through a warzone whilst they slept on your back.

    I am to say folks, that if a woman in this age in school chooses to look like a hobo and then has an evil spirit just don't ever associate with them. You might be convinced the world is full of hate otherwise. I am to say that I was not conquered by hate but made to realize how great an enemy of the world it is.