Georgia Snacks.

     I have been unkind and gave basically the real names of people beforehand. Its all because their names are so common and really much, I had met many people with their boring ass names beforehand. I mean I have done a favor and spelled them in interesting ways. Like the only name I know is spelled properly is "Keyla". In the following story I do a person a common courtesy-to talk about them with a fictional name; Georgia Snacks.

   What I can say is that when on some day I did happen across Georgia, their was a glimmer of hope that the feeling inside would translate into something outward. It never did. If anything however, a person does not care about the odds of something when they look and see a person who to them was attractive and then found they were greatly comparable to their interests. I am to say, I met them in a place of importance at the flooded community college where in fall 2014 I started drafting comics. Yes, back when I did not type like an old man but it is what it is. Not that this was a sign but I was reminded of how many past opportunities I had let slip by I was quiet nervous to even speak to them but I did anyhow.

   Such of the matter of why I did feel the need to even meet with them after all the prior failures is because really I thought they were attractive and that I had nothing to lose. I mean, I might never see them again I thought and basically that just drags out into a missed opportunity from experience. I went up there that day after a circle around and I remind just asking them about their art and then I showed them my art. They complimented my art and I complimented theirs. I now, think about how they left. It was because they had to go to class. I just say from experience and recollection; it was ultimately just to get away from me. If only a person could not be so gullible to what seemed as a stemming connection through art and their own feelings and notions to see that right then and there-I could have avoided all the drama that was to come. All the drama.

    There I held this image of her and me there at that table ever so in some inner bubbly romantic image. Just sharing our drawn works. Oh, she could draw and it was very particular. There was some potential greatly behind the work that I wanted to support. But now as I think upon it. I was a fucking fool. What type of man goes soft after all the bullshit and fucking hell they were through and suddenly thinks this person is the rainbow at the end of the fucking tunnel. An idiot is what I was being and justly so. This idea still even plays in my head and though I wish it was not so; it still is. Yet hold onto this memory regardless of this or that-it still does not to bring anything into reality. There would not be any happy life of togetherness and nothing of that sort.  However, I just kept on that day with this "wonderful" image in my head of some  type of unity and warm feeling. I had a spring in my step and all the sort.

   What would make be so be grudging against this woman? Oh, they-Georgia Snacks would be the one to feed my work Zino Flyboy  to the sharks and really much that hurt me probably more than anything else. That is to say that really of all the people I had come across in my educational journey in the "girl" or "woman" capacity-they really did damage my courage and really just strickened an already lacking heart. I thought they were the light at the tunnel but really, how could they be? Just ultimately the same as any person-undeniably a waste of your fucking time. Tending to the same morals of pleading to avoid you and cast you a villain when you did not wrong and want to dramatize basic communication functions. Really much I am to say if I had been anything younger than what I was at the time, 23-if I was 16 and the person I met upon that day slandered my work in any way; I probably would have gone to beat them up. But yes; I put myself second because I believed in their art even when they did not believe in mine. At least what I held about their art was a truth and not a falsehood. 

   I went above and beyond; even if I really did not get along with the person-I best did try to help them out and support their works. As to say that they were younger than me by three years at the time. Yet I am to say that really much never considered how broken that all was even when I believed their art could improve other's lives. It was only for the sake of me to recognize in that one day where we shared own art-that her works were something of value. I could not turn away from their promise. I felt it was the connection I found when we shared our art that I could not walk away. But them, they found no connection in my artwork. None, in fact they rather speak to bad mouth it to people looking awfully alot like Proud Boys.

  Yes, this Georgia Snacks I realized did drive me crazy and out of my damn mind. Have I truly ever stopped writing about them? Nope, because I cannot believe someone would ever do the shit they would do and yet this is the same person I basically tired to smoothe things over by the end of that semester. Really much I am to say; it only kept alive my internal torture of putting her artwork over my feelings and really much-it has weighed down on me. Why me? I ask. I already know the answer. Its all the cruel world can give. Really just give and frankly she, Georgia Snacks was no light at the end of the tunnel but just a beckoning through layers of hell that no one should ever go through nor ever tolerate. I realize only recently, how soft and how feeble I became that anything could be just true and I would tolerate the idea. How I would tolerate ideas and they would do nothing. Be nothing more than mirages.

  Oft why I even put March the 3rd as a turning point-it is because I am just so certain that was the day the individual mocked my works and thus-things just became worse as you began to just settle for anything. I am to be nice to say that I don't even remember clearly what the person even looked like but all I remember is just cruelty and anything that was good-was either fake or some attempt by me to do the right thing or tell of my feelings. I should have not fallen for that person but oh, I did and it did just fail me in the end to ever do such a thing. The me, last year in fall 2019 thought things could change and that things could go somewhere but really nothing would ever get better. Realized that this person was just the superseder of all "mirage" like transgressions. They were the worst one. No one else has ever gotten such a hold of damage upon me like they did and really that is something because none of the people before I would even let nearest my actual important works but I just had to go and show this person and they thought in their fiendish mind it was an invitation to do whatever they wanted. Be as evil as they wanted and try to think they could mold the people in the world to their pathetic instances. Oft to be said; I have not forgiven this person even if they did say sorry at the end of the semester.

   I think its also fitting to recognize how large a following on social media they now have that is probably only thanks to me and them moving to a 4 year university and yet Zino Flyboy-the work they ostracized is just down in the gutters and really I don't have as much followers at them or the level of support they have and its unfair, frankly that I acted to think of " what would make the world a better place" and all they could think was how to make it a worse place and a worse one for people like me.

  Though I am to say I'd like to remember just being there with them and how it could have gone in a positive way and I would not be the only one moral enough, emotionally intelligent enough and smart enough to recognize respect for another's work. I am to say I don't go around in public blasting people for being different or having views I don't agree with or even not having the same artistic focus. I don't but really not ever does anyone I have met can be but a person who takes issue with other people's artwork.