Distance.

Distance.

   I relate that truly the audience does not get my struggles I realize. Pretty much there is no appreciation at all. If it was for the net, I would not even be a creator at all but a damned stereotype. That is what I have come to the conclusion of. Really, I am to say that any engagement of community will never be reached here and it makes things like Patreon useless.  People only seem to accept my words as a secondary truth that they can choose to accept and then be surprised when things that make absolute common sense happen.

   Let me tell you a truth; I am tired of being dumped on negativity always around this time during the fall and winter. I have no tolerance for anything than less than what I should be receiving.  Ever year its some dumb bullshit. I am glad that I don't have to be dealing with women this year and that fucking bullshit but I am done. I will get a good fucking time this end of the year if I have to bash and beat every little fucking threat that comes my way. I am to say that I realize that there is no money to be made here on this site frankly. Instead of aiming to make money, I will aim to frankly aim for more goals. 

    This means I will be doing more things that won't appeal to any audience at all but selfish goals and selfish needs because frankly why should I do anything for anyone and the whole little art community that is actually but a hinderance to advancement. Oh, I write this to say that-I am freeing myself of these constrains of wasting my time trying to make money off art with people who aren't serious about anything but mental myths. You think 2020 is hard? I think really it is not especially when people have exacerbated an element they pretty much could control. I am saying that I am wasting too much time working on appealing to a toxic culture that really does not respect me. Like, I look back and realize so many times trying to get money from the internet is almost akin to walking willingly into sinkhole.

   I don't want to even be part of the whole net culture anymore and really even if I was amongst a "first group of persons", I just see that it is a waste of time ultimately and I don't ever want to really even be recognized as a celebrity or have my face out there. I know people aren't kind creatures and really much fuck the modern internet art scene.  Like putting it into words the average person understands; its bullshit.

   I mean twitter itself is just a bad place these days. Having an audience on reddit which I don't consider apart of the whole modern internet art scene is better. You are better received as people don't want a replicate of some personality or some function of repeatable art. I really think that really enough; reddit is the only reason this blog has rebounded or else it would just be hated and loathed by all the know it all who don't know shit. I mean some people on that site are very self indulging and if not lack any form of objectivity.  Stupid is the good word for them. I think there is a means of not getting caught up in these people who really are self destructive. 

    I mean I don't have the same artistic principles nor life principles or even disciplines as these people on Twitter, artists or not in their communities. I don't believe there is a limit to what you can create. I don't believe that money equals success as an artist as they merit; where money is simply an excuse for why they don't put any effort in and conversely suck. 

    I level with you that even my audience on reddit to a great degree has some feelers of "pop media mediocrity" in them. I really am to say that I really don't need anyone's approval to do what will actually allow me to succeed.  I view people rather as not the captains of industry they boast they are on social media and being the "givers of success" but people who are stubborn to the fact that they are just people with very bad ideas and work ethics. I mean I am to say I just feel disgusted when these low key artists on Twitter pat theirselves on their back for something that they are really doing uneffectively and really much just wasting their time convincing theirselves there is not much work to do. Unlike these people people, I realize there is more work to be done especially when I have not be able to ever even gain any company trust from an audience ever. I mean, I think the whole current social media of these and that artists who just block others from ever reaching an audience should be over.

    O, I am to say that these people make it hard for art to be appreciated when on their patreons they really place rat-dropping amounts for their works. Depreciate art so they can make this small buck and still be begging. I really I have done some research into this topic folks. 

    The amazon campaign to sell Shark on Campus failed, no one wanted to buy the work. Paypal no one contributed. Patreon, no one gave a fuck. I have let people read my diary, see my works and all the such and no one thinks that is worth anything at all.

    The problem with the current social system in social media with these errant ass artists who think they can make the prices for everyone else to be piss low-is that there is a class war going on and really much people aren't smart enough to figure it out. I mean to believe that you are merited money for your works but others aren't in some stubborn rationalization  of entitlement just means you hate other people for their efforts. Frankly, there is a class divide on the internet now and some people just aren't welcomed unless they look like, think like and be like these people who are akin to get attention and support from their works.  Whether you realize this as a problem or not; I just find this whole emerging class system a perversion of what the internet is supposed to be. I am going to keep my anonymity and distance myself for the structure that is given to a "wealthier class of nonsense and entitlement".  It is not my role in life to be appeasing the stupid people in life but reaching the stars and accomplishing dreams.

You might not like such brutal words but this is just what you should recognize is the just character of this site under me. I actually did a study in February 2018 that showed that people actually liked it when I did not appear as myself and wrote under a female guise. I mean the posts got very much more views when I did that. But yet, I will not be hiding my true self or goals nor thoughts. If these things of mine aren't of yours and you'd prefer to go elsewhere, that is within your right but alas-I will eventually get paid for my works but just not in these times.