Long Beginning. (A)

     When I begun I did not have much at all. I did strive for a goal that was never to be done before. But going to the college and hoping it would be completed there was to launch into the deluge of a rabbit hole. To complete 25 comic series in just a fall 2013 and spring 2014 and create the whole methodology of doing so in such a small time from the bottom up using your own resources and no one's previous done research or efforts was not achievable for a person who had just begun and really much was still young. Or rather in other words was too young to have the knowledge even to complete such a high effort but at least I made the attempt. That I did. If a person never started they would never have the future knowledge of knowing how to do what they once wanted to achieve. Today, I have what I need to do what I originally wanted but greatly I realize why stop at me when other people in the world have such an effort all the same as me. This desire to create comics and become successful at making them in college. I write the following for the sake of continuing the effort that is a dream and one in which people do not have to make the efforts I have to be where they want to be nor the sacrifices and be so much more prepared than I ever was to fight to live the dream and get what they want now and not in the tomorrow!

     I have to say that it has been an adventure and adventure against those who seemingly think that they are the judge and jury on a person's character, intelligence and the worth of their dreams but yet what they fight for is the continuous nature of a status quo that allows them a privilege to look down on people and swear they are greatness wrapped in gold for following what is bigotry, false love for intelligence and fear of people who do not fear art and black people. They follow in great conviction and craft lives out of fear and all possibilities they see of people is of fear so that they are negative and that they think they know it all but know so little about real people which they are afraid of being. Not everyone can be chemist 1. There always has to be people to do other things and have other ambitions. The great problem these people have is that "chemist 1" is not even their ambition. They let theirselves be pushed around when they live in the idle of privilege and ultimately could be anything and yet refuse any recourse to venture a dream or follow a passion or learn a people as a people instead of "illegals crossing a border". Let theirselves be pushed around by people who honestly have not a bear grip on their own privilege of even being in America and the "American Dream". 

For people who actually live in America and realize its true nature; that dream has long been dead and people whom appreciate the real freedoms of a place recognize that its not worth living a life chasing ambitions that are never your own. Its better to fail at your own ambitions than be the dog and I mean bitch of people who ultimately and indeed only want to supplant their own bigotry and ills of their culture into American society for no benefit for anyone who has to share the name of "people of color" with them in any conversation. These people just are like gold diggers who have an unnatural lust for what America can do for them but never realize the real virtue of living your dreams regardless of if you live in America or not. Never have a respect for anyone who is unlike them not being a gold digger and really much people who really act as natives of a land and truly embrace their freedoms to even go to college at all for what they want even if it may be misguided and even if it may never help their actual goals at least these people have what can said are souls. Those who wait the tables at restaurants could have been an animation student who wishes to bring his cartoons to life but never could because they just fell in a trap of an unsupporting myth that college would open up those opportunities for them. Whilst you prattle about get this  and that degree and whatever gpa at this dinner whilst disrespecting those who work there and else venture there and forth; realize that truly your effort the end all greatness of the world especially when it teaches you and your children to just pick fights with people for what they value which is something you can never understand. 

Everyone needs to be respected and not  condescendingly when they are not people who will sell their souls just so they can get more money and really just create a mess of a social condition which is living with other people who will never sell their souls. I akin to say to the audience that the situation of college for people of color is anything but nice when it is often a small group of people in the fraction to the number of white people and to which a great deal and number of people of color will never side with people of color or even recognize the freedoms for people to pursue a dream rather than be academia golddiggers who only learn to gain money and not for the pursuit of passion, identity or aspirations. People will lie and say these are their aspiration and cite their family and their unique foreign culture from which ever sam hill corner of the globe they come from but it is all a lie. These people will always be but a pest to those who are lesser fortunate and those people of color who will never go to school and always judge people they don't know and live in a world that is just about them and their golddigging ways; nothing of any true resort but grifting and grifting to the sensibilities. I dunno about you but I will never use my culture to be a means and a scapegoat to my own legitimacy in a college situation; its not true to me and its not true to what I stand for. That is that ultimately some people who are golddiggers make life hard for people of color else who are not lucky to be foreign bound or from not America. These people will get these corporate jobs and be akin to the worst people even more so than that of any white person could ever endeavor to be. I never want to forget the everyday people especially those of color who get lost and lose the will to fight for their dreams but struggle all the same to revive the flame a new each time to no real success. I never want to get caught in privilege that I forget that these people could be me and are just me.

 I never want to be a person who does not help the advancement of people of color but takes away from the whole enlightenment effort that is to help people achieve economic equality. Greatly; these ideals are never on the academia led sort of people even though they want to come up later with solutions as if in shame to get rid of the image of poverty affixed to people of color but ideally they in their college venture created poverty by not supporting their people of color peers but using any opportunity to shun them, get at them and else shame their efforts and ambitions. Its to be said that people are children when they enter college but many people who are these privileged academia sort stay that way forever. Becoming rather out of touch with reality and never realizing that their behavior helped no one and them refusing to come to terms with their past behavior and its great harm means that they will never become any savior to people of color. But yet people of color who aren't them and their type of golddigging privilege don't need saviors and that is why every effort fails akin to the already formed and summed deluded aspects and guilty grievances these contrived people have about theirsleves. These people have a self contrived importance and ego that will never measure up into anything for people who are there as people of color and have needs that surpass theses fear rotten people's needs for power at the cost of anything especially their souls. No one cares about people who are self indulgent in their importance and really much no one ever follows these people. Enjoy your wealth for doing what you hate but people else do what they must to live a life that puts your whole fear trodden act to shame and shows how wasteful your class of individual truly is. There will never be a struggle and people will just tell you what you want to hear. You will dream in these constitutionally created moments of holidays like Christmas and Newyear's Eve and your family of either generation of your parents or your own family will aspire to delude you that you will accomplish these dreams but you never will because you and your kin are a slave to fear and itself will never treat you kind. Making you wicked and ugly that no one wants to be bothered by you and people who aren't ever as privileged as you or what you want to be will never truly respect you as they recognize you are lost to the wind; the very chaff that thinks that because it has ascended it is as the same as the true "high class" of white people but very much everything is just temporary in that regard as you support laws that strip rights away from people who are your own kin and just people who ironically are white but don't have such a savior complex to white people theirselves. You think you must enjoy these laws to become what you wanted to be regarded as but no will just blow away in the wind if not even before then no one ever respect your claim because of how hateful and backward it truly is.

I say to people who truly dismissed me and others for the merit of our genuine character, our dreams and our reality of living in America with a conscious of our own; that they will never be made human by the golddigging grift and they will never be great but sad and miserable all by their own choice. People can make those choices but yet people don't have to abide by such people or accept their rule. I openly say I do not respect these people nor revere them and ultimately just are worst than mentally insane people as they will do anything to achieve a wealth image and not be found to be a poor immigrant family rising up when that is just exactly what they are. No matter who you marry or what you do to match your inner underground culture reminiscent of the worst values of your home country; you will never be what you wish to be. America itself never will be a place of people who just arbitrarily follow academia for no one reason but to just use it for money and pay no attention to their real skills, needs, characters and lives. I am not here to speak down to the dreamer and argue that art is crap and all this nonsense uncultured and fearful tactless people do when they want to escape an identity that they and they alone want to believe-I am here to put people who are too outspoken past the norm of any public decency in their place. 

Far too often when I was in college it was like a rabbit hole of descending madness of people offering their opinions and idealisms to you in a bullying tone and hunting tone-which means it was very aggressive and violent, shrewd and nasty and ultimately inappropriate. These people just were projecting here and there and openly it was and is none of their business what people desire to do with their time and their lives! Lol, its not as if I went around trying to mock people studying when they were trying to study or bother people because they were studying. This is what people were doing to me and others because they did not see me drawing as a form of studying and really much paints them as people who live in such an indifference to the real realities of life and society in current. Thinking they have the authority to control people ironically when they seek "freedom" they could never find in their small town, small country or outlandish landscape. People got so big headed that they were in the right and that there was a right for following their parents orders and that they could parent other people. They developed outlandish egoes for doing something that is just commonly expected society that is simply going to college; thinking they were heavenly creatures for this endeavor but really were just pretentious individuals who crossed boundaries, entered people's space to mock them for enjoyment and really much are just tortured souls people will lie to and say are okay and sane when these people are anything but it. One of the first things I realized in college is that these people would seek to prove your lifestyle and goals were a folly by pushing them to failure by a means of abject terror and terrorism and proving they have guts above all; never noticing that people just allowed them to continue a childish charade because they knew what internal pain they were in. And that real much beating them up for evoking a fight is what they were doing would solve nothing for anyone but get so many people to turn on for your race and their spin image of you "adhering to the violent people of color stereotype". Honestly; I smile looking back to realize that a person did not have their dreams completed nor much anything to help them out but it was far better to appreciate one's humanity and never being like them who would kiss a boot at any flicker of a nickel. These people truly were desperate to frail false authority and really much wanted to believe in something that would give them authority to call out people for doing things they have no courage to do; which is follow their dreams.

Its so easy to follow what everyone else is doing and what is expected but really a person must know what is right for them and a person never developing these skills can never be independent and can never grow past their childlike state but always be a repressed kid suffering here and there and all the time. The school which was a regime might have given them inflated dreams of their pain being pleasure and that they had power but it was all fleeting and really much destroyed so much of any tangible gain they could get in their lives and if not connections with people which could actually be real and not a cultural obligation. Yet some soulless creep at the top loves that people waste so much and follow the route of racism overtly as they do and if not just the same cultural obedience to toxic norms that are pure wrongs in every means of the way. These people will try to push you to failure but never realize that that it cannot be done and they don't have that kinda of control and if they ever did try to ruin a person's means of living, social life and all else any joy else there would be great push back. These cowards only like committing these crimes under an umbrella to which they cannot be recognized as committing outside! So they can ensue this colorful honor student identity to which they have no measure of even being competent too but this facade they want to pull constantly. They only like committing crimes where it cannot be seen and really much if ever brought into the light and if everyone of them was brought into the light; people would see the true horrors of college. These people who will enact on their repression in violence against those who love theirselves and enact not in repression but in the effort of pursuing goals and dreams that are real and true; would be truly seen as the mentally ill and desperate people they actually are. These people often think that their crimes are vindicated from the false information they have graciously inputted and implanted into theirselves. Honestly I have to say that these people are fools to think that there will be no push back against them for when and which they went out of their way to bother people to which it was never their business to bother with and they where just being childish never understanding that people have decided better than them to be actual people than items to follow strict unforgiving, unproductive, war bringing, aggressive and utterly wasteful tribal notions and cultural bads that get them and their kin no where.

These people are people who would kick you when you are down and I am to say the world would be so much a better place if they never came to America in the first place and just stayed the fuck where they came from because they just harm good people of all types for their deluded gains which are not even achievable and really self harming no matter how they broadcast things being otherwise. In the rabbit hole that a person can go through in college in much of an anti-black and anti-art regime; these clogs are really just secondary if not only primary only when they get to lead up a college itself and really much are secondary because of the prevalence white hate still has in society and those who indulge in racism in college and are primarily white to this day. Racism and indifference  was not developed by these people who come to America and else; but by white people and this is simply who these cunts want to be like and openly its a person's business when these people try to put you down to just play fictional pretend that they will be equal to a racist white person when they do. These people never make an effort easy from the bottom up and really much I am to tell you a person is in their rights to tell you how things actually are and how there is no real unity between people who happened to be grouped people of color.

Going down the rabbit hole that is college; a person must understand that the following is very complex and is not black and white but very deep and well versed in which is actually the real reality of things in this world and in a region itself. Anyone telling you otherwise is lying to you and selling you a false image and else just pretending humanity whilst they are a predator out for blood. I tell you the truth under an effort that was very strenuous from beginning and even very severe from the very end. People whom you could trust went to lengths to get you to stop to prove to theirselves they were continually right but the magic of being a grunt was long gone and really much they had nothing for theirselves but a routine of doing something they will never enjoy and being too afraid to even dream. Yet you would never stop for anything they said and really much could never have the civility nor mental attainment to realize that someone has to create the movies they go to the theaters and watch and foremost that they have no say in what you do and are not God acting as if they know what is going to happen to you in which they don't. Its been an adventure and a revealing one at that of how people really let the illusion of power make them lose their cotton picking minds. I am to tell you not one women who turned out to be a souless clog helped me in any real regard and even in any real motivation but if it ever seemed to be motivation it was just to lead you on to seemingly outdo their peers in how much terror they could accost you. Its just all childish looking back but really much there is a mental health problem and really much  people who run schools should not be helping toxic cultures have their way and people pressure their children into things that aren't for them. The school was all about controlling people but really in all essence could never do anything to do anything to help people who weren't either these American Golddiggers or racists out.

I write this following sum to tell you that people were very open with their stances against you but I never have been truly open because of fear of retaliation aka like that Rence dude creep did all the way up to fall 2019 and especially then with Mind Games. I have to tell you that I had to curve what I was going to write because he destroyed a stream of my audience making what I was to write unimportant but the dude was pretty abnormal with the trend as mainly only women mostly would go to those lefts of terrorism as what he did-pretty much is a bitch than he ever will be a bro and is by far the most unmanly and undignified individual there could be. In the following will just tell you how unhelpful people had been under their own foolish guises of what is important but never that respecting people and their identity is even important for them to even be respected as people. I write the following so that you can expect mark by mark what to expect in today's tolerant and helpful societal and technological advanced society. I write the following to tell you of the grave hardships I would face that would be mega by the time of spring 2017. Just because I wanted to make 25 comics and these people just wanted to be doing nothing of advancement but taking away and doing something that is disrespectful to the means of why people even learn stuff in the first place. I make the heavy case in sarcasm that comics are right when in ideal there is no right or wrong but for the clogs there could only be wrong as they choose without knowledge of them or even have the courage to create that they are a waste of time but yet will fucking go see a Marvel movie because "its cool" or to appeal that they are " with the times". These people are disgusting quite honestly and really much-I will not mince any words for these people.