Justice to a Narrative.

 This is the 15,000 post on this blog my friends and that is something I must say. There have been 15,000 posts on this blog and that is alot of posts. Been doing this for nearly a decade pretty much on this site  and more than a decade all together aka blogging. I will say that this following post is not about the number of posts but something I wanted to talk about for the longest time.

If you read the previous post I wrote recently then it focused on what? It was how the "great friend" group that had been created mainly by acts of association and usually through people who could be called "linkers" aka those who which by other people they already know become friends. I am to say greatly, I was the one person who brought many people together more than anyone else but yet was treated like pure shit by male members and some female members alike. No one respected me but some "mascot" for the group. This was a group that would watch movies together, play games together, go out to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner, play the college classic Mafia together and ultimately else hang out together. It all came crashing down because all it was held together was by bounds of association and really much no deep connections between groups of people but an underground toxic competition for love and affection-I'd like to list the competitions that broke everything what held together by strings.

La Nora/Me/ Andrew/ Animi

So secretly there a competition for who would end up with this girl called La Nora. Animi by the way was another girl who actually did get with La Nora in the same friend group. Andrew was somewhat oblivious to the fact of how La Nora mostly spoke to me or Animi and thus had more interest in either one of us whilst this dude tried to force something and it never worked out. Let me say this did happen again in spring 2019 with the girl called  Diamond who was chased by this dude; it never worked out and frankly-who held the longest gaze? Yes, me. Its to be said there are some showboating people who want to be a main character type energy but really are just losers pure and pure. The dude called Andrew never realized that she was more interested in women than being with him. Ah, its to be said this whole thing was never but underground and just fractured any real friendship. Much enough it was La Nora who pretty much sought me out where and when I did not want to hang out with Andrew who threatened to "shit in your hair". This dude was pretty nasty and childish but the most fun thing of them all when all his attempts just failed and all La Nora did was to pretend to soothe his behind.

Allision/Me/Rence

Openly there has to be said that there was a person who I liked called Allision. She was in the first english class I was in. I never really got a chance to socialize with her despite living around the corner next and near to her. But oh, homeboy Rence did and that was the girl he disclosed in public he wanted to be with. I am to say Rence wore pajama pants mostly and I'm like, " who the fuck could be attracted to that". The dude was so talkative and so annoying. I was being nice but never telling this dude what was really on my mind, " shut the fuck up". He was a friend to Andrew and whilst I pretended friendship with the two of those dudes-it was because I rather not engage in childish drama and bring the energy of discord to light but these people had no sensibilities their own to not be petty or childish. I, in short was never their friend and honestly never had any real honest talk with these people. It was just an empty friendship. But whilst I waited for any opportunity to speak with Allision alone he always had some say-some weasel type shit grip where he was "at her beck and call" and yet would bad mouth people apparently who were supposed to be "their friend". Doing this whilst I waited to speak to Allision which never came because the teacher of english always liked to hold me up so that I could never to speak to her after class to get her number or even anytime later because she was always around other people I really did not care for. So in great short; this was no great deal and really this dude would just fill this girl's head with nonsense because he wanted no one else to have a chance with her. Openly; treating her as his property and not even as a person.

Kira/Me/Roomate

Yes, there was at the beginning a girl this roommate of mine brought in and openly expected people to become friends with them when really them even being over was a fucking invasion of space. Having this woman peer over you as you tried to sleep; a person realized they were in a compromising situation and got up and left the room. I am to say I only thought of these two as friends as they continued to say they were. One day I come back from Math to look for a scantron I had to find these two fucking; so I have to find the shit whilst these motherfuckers bone and leave the room. It was gross. They laughed. Its be said that any friendship that so called was; was not because Kira never hung out ever again and especially with me who never really got any chance or say to continue any friendship. It got on my nerves. She viewed me later as if I had done something wrong.

I am to say the roommate always would pull this shit on me. Fuck the girls and then really much leave them hanging. Fuck the girls that were "friends" and get them to turn on me by association to him and really much never wanting to do anything with me because I lived in the same room as he. The thing is he never pulled this shit on anyone else. Never on Andrew with La Nora nor anyone else because he knew he would get his ass beaten. That is all a person has to say but really much this was the 1st time. There were probably three more times this happened but really much yea; only two did I care about.

Camille/ Me/Roomate

One day I would see this girl who I thought was attractive and went to speak to her. She asked me to get items for her to complete her assignment and I did it just to get closer to her. The thing is this that this person was really a demanding individual; I am to say that a person would just get to know her as they had that suspicion there and then but did not know them yet. I would say that I thought they were the one. I often never spoke to girls before in highschool to get any type of recognition but what was very belittling but here in college I thought this was a sign I had a chance. I was wrong. The moment I saw her and my roommate together; I should have interjected because the roommate was not good at treating women and really was just a snake. It was the very night I started working on MK MZODERN that I found this roommate and her in a bed together. A person was just tossed and in horror and that was the breaking point because this was a violation of any bro code. I did not want to live with this dude who thought he was cute violating the bro code so many times-2 times that now you could not trust the dude.

Alas, I just removed all my feelings there and then. She was my one chance and one hope in my mind then of even having some normal romantic relationship but really I realized quite then and there-this special person in his bed was not special at all. I am to say that I undervalued this moment when I drew of it before. I thought thoughts so fast and then calmed down so fast and then this girl comes to the sink and says, " where is the Listerine". I give her the Listerine of the dorm room of the guy who literally hated me aka; I am to say I did not keep my Listerine in the public eye. To hear that someone you had valued so much went down on another guy that you live with; was very hard to hear. I think that day I must have sat at that pond in reflection so much. Bitter, numb and angry. I refused to even sleep in that room for days if not weeks but slept out on the bench in the common area because that just fucked with me. I am to say that often I never slept through the night as a person was afraid they would miss their classes if they did.

Bri/Me/Sage/ Rence/Chris/Jorge

Now, Bri was the girl that had it all. She had a harem. That is what she had. I am to say that she did have quite a harem. Me, emotional support pretty much but never a person who was stupid enough to even want to be with her. Why? This person called herself a "whore". I am to say that a person did not want to be bothered which such a person seemingly real similar to girls at my highschool that no one in their sane mind would be after because of their said harems. Anyways, it always happened that a person would be always near this individual when I hung out with the people nearest my dorm room and that is how I became even close to this individual on a daily basis. Of course there were other dudes as well but let me say; there was a pull with this woman and these other idiots just swarmed into wanting to be with her. The dude called Rence had a crush with her and again wanted to be with her. The dude called Sage had sex with her. The dude called Jorge was like her boyfriend for a time. The dude called Chris got oral sex ( need Listerine?). I heard it all from the people talking their talk about who did what with Bri. I am to say that a person realized they were right; they should not get involved with this person or literally just be sleeping with a person who pretty much is with all your so called friends. I am to say this did form division in the group. Sage stopped hanging with the people foremost most likely because of Rence being there ( who was not there when he spoke of having sex with her). Jorge and the trio he entailed stopped hanging with Bri and the folks in the lobby space near my dorm room. Chris just stopped hanging out nearest Rence and anyone who could have been with her that means Jorge ( I don't think he ever knew Sage). Now, do you think this was constructive for people being friends? No, it was not. I would not blame the Bri at all but really much-this is to illustrate how many dudes where trying to compete with her whilst I could have just leveled everyone by how I was always present. Yet a person did not want to have sex nor did they want to be just another "dude". The great thing is that Bri had some foresight and pondered about this as well it would seem; how a relation would be ruined from getting closer or just an illusion of one. I do note that most girls who ever think of me or have that heavy interest; I was the one who pretty much spoke to them first to any degree. Its to be said that I would outlast all these dudes as an interest to Bri but never went to anything to be with this individual because I foremost could not trust them; that they would not just drop you and/or use you.

Katherine/Me/Rence 

So yes, I spoke to Katherine first! I was like the first person to even speak to her when no one else even knew her and frankly all that was forgotten when my connection to her speaking that one time or previous times even led her to get connected with the people who I hung out with and they just blocked me from speaking any further with her pretty much. Its to be said these people trampled on a person even having any friendship with this individual. Whilst I did sit with her eating about three times there was always another dude with her! As much as person tried to reclaim a friendship out of so many people it just did not work even as she would often say hello to me. In spring 2014 she was the person to encourage me in front of everyone else. I think that there were some feelings there. Alas, homeboy Rence was never far behind always picking the girls in which I liked and rather than be speaking to me; she spoke to this dude one time about how he was making her uncomfortable as I just sat that as an after thought. I mean; they came in there which was the lobby and started speaking this rather personal personal as if I was not a person. Then you being to feel the disconnect and everything just fell apart. I think enough that I started to hate Rence because of this. Openly, why is he in every competition of affection?

Ashley/Me/Johnathan<Nadia

Getting to the later bit of fall 2013, was introduced new cast of characters and really much did not think much of the dudes introduced called Jonathan and Tushar. There was a girl called Ashley that I thought was neat but in typical gradeschool/highschool fashion; she got to be with the dude that you cannot marx and not smite aka Jonathan. I don't think people ever realized that I did not like the dude called Jonathan for being the one to get with this girl in typical absolute fashion as in gradeschool. Its to be said that a person did not come to college to be going through this shit. Whilst a person was being "grown up" about things they still deep down did not like this dude. Did not even get a chance. In a place where competition was so much and so many varied over as the prior; somehow homeboy got to lockdown a solid relationship with no one bombing it or trying to ruin it as much as what was commonplace at that time. This girl called Nadia did not like the dude. I am to say that Ashley was her roommate and much enough was the greatest public detractor to the whole relationship which grew very petty over time and made her look like trash. Now, did anyone want to be with Nadia? I am to say-no one had an interest because she was pretty much not a nice person always gossiping about people. Of all the girls; I think no one liked her because they did not like her character. Its to be said I just tried to be friends to these two people instead of tearing them down because that would not be good to do and just would add into the horrible atmosphere of a place.

Kassandra/Sage/Me/Rence

Now, there was a girl called Kassandra, this person kinda grew on me over time. Yet apparently, homeboy Rence saw her appeal as well. This was a quiet person who could also be outspoken at times when they were irked as such as the case where they had a problem with their roommate fucking their boyfriend so many times. I am just to say that it is an inconvenience to be paired with people who want to be sexual so much to such a large extent. The most funny thing was hearing her say how her roommate would have so many "dudes" in her room. I am to say she implied something there that no one wanted to even speak further on. Anyways; this all happened when I was sitting with Rence pretending friendship. I am to say that greatly, there was some interest in her from Rence and really much this had become so commonplace that I just calmly let it slide. This dude was pretty much match for match very similar to me with his choices. It was after this Rence and Kassandra hung out. Earlier of course, Kassandra had been Sage's girlfriend and this would be a thing I guess that would last into 2015 if not off or on. Its be said that really much a person did not like either one of these dudes after this. I mean; I did not already like Rence because he was always trying to get with girls that I wanted to be with and being rudely aggressive at that which likely freaked these girls out.

So yea, folks and people; this is how fucked up everything was truly under the guise of natural "friendships" but these things were bound by strings that snapped so casually and so viciously that no one could truly be friends with the level of competition for affection and all this other shit.

So forgot to post to facebook so I can be under that corrupt organization be tried for harassment of "community members" when a person is only telling what actually happened in real life. Dumb fucks at facebook liked to rat about my posts in the past when I used to post them on there as they rather support all the bad people and even criminals who steal your vechiles and sell it on the marketplace than give justice any time of day. I have done justice to a narrative.