A man woke up.

     A person has been asleep greatly in a time. I think that a person would ultimately have to be asleep for what they have been through. I take a time to pause to reflect that people have been harassing me casually in my sleep. Openly have been trying to poke me and stir me awake and to be active so much as I did in the past. I am going to be completely honest alot of people led me on and alot of people really broke my heart in these near past 10 years. I don't even find that cute at all. Its really annoying actually. People expect me to continue having them in my dreams but I don't have the energy for that at all. I don't and really I don't even know these people at all. All I did was give faith a go and these people by their own accord and with many chances just decided to be evil. They don't care about me but they care about being sadistic creeps. I got to tell you these people pry to try to be apart of this story but they were long done in importance the moment they forgot any humanity and just think that a person is just going to keep on hoping behind people who show they are not interested, are abusive and just are nasty people. Greatly a person really does have fears indeed of ever being intimate with anyone again and really much I just will never look at things the same way with any optimism. No, I expect people will betray me because that is the nature of people who literally have no substance, no conviction and really will turn on you at any convenience. This is not love but yet they seek to take advantage of what they know is love to feed their sadistic drives and their sick fantasies. I gotta say some people just love being very much not in love with me but with the idea of me in a place or me under their heels or really much don't like me at all but some old fucking lady. I think I can emerge only as I am ready but I will never be ready to love again as I did in the past. That was a one time thing and its all over. Everything sullied and everything ruined pretty much but I do say that its better that a person learned of these creeps in the world at that age rather than later on or would even be deeper in the fold with these sadists that it would be hard to escape.