The longest journey and in the hour of a broken heart.

       Before I made this blog; I was invested behind an idea called Beryond 13. Truly if everything had gone without a hitch, I probably would have made that blog in around August 2013 but really nothing goes without a hitch. Nothing does. When I first went to a college class in fall 2013, I was very hurt by a thing or two that happened at the highschool. Really much you would see someone radiating a light and they would beckon you on. You just did not know how to act. You were frankly ostracized by everyone and no one ever really told me a good job much on my works and my efforts when it mattered or even helped to have high expectations for my creative goals. A person could not be self confident but to always remain humble that certain experiences and things were out of their grasp because they dare create and dare make. A person seeing this individual was forced from their shell and yes strove to me with them. But nothing would never be enough because people are just too cruel, they live their privilege indifference to giving people a hard time and really some people just are evil and there is nothing you can really do about it at all.

    Let me say the song I wrote yesterday called Love Never Again to emphasize that whilst I tried to treat a person the best for whatever spark to really "live" in life; in the end they could be as indifferent to anyone else to the real adversities and challenges you would face even trying to contact them and just not get into sticky situations with trouble makers trying to make a mess out of everything and even harm them to an extent. People who would sabotage anything you wanted to achieve of a healthy relationship. Some people are just too fickle. They might resonate some feelings but they will never mean it, " you just don't feel it the same".

    They will listen to some snake who calls himself a friend to you and just realize when he reads your posts that he can make a good advantage to miscontrue everything to his lacking mental senses and paint you any little way to his advantage"rat". I mean, if homeboy knew you were writing about a girl and read your blog and even liked its facebook page and was in contact with her for about 6 years you never were; was the bitch even your friend? Laughing along with the posts but denying you any concern when they simply had her on their friend list? Then deciding to take things out of context because they like her too. Next besides him, you got some peon who wanted to kiss up to you but realize they rather degrade you when you don't want to go a certain path in your educational life and moral life at all. What is worse is such a person is a friend to the person in which you would like and in addition just spread nonsense and delusional bullshit. To make matters worse the "rat" will basically make up some make believe way to fucking report your page and unfollow you because he wants to paint you as an enemy. When of course you have not even seen the person in question for 5 years up to that point and frankly had no clue if they even were on social media. The notion that you would be stalking them and even doing anything to harm them is absurd when you are just posting feelings that really only sons of bitches nearest you could even know or would have a reason to fucking care.

    But at the end of the day if someone is so contrite and so ignorant to not recognize that people aren't these myths and even their original intents; that is on them and frankly whilst a person tried their best to move in a way of honor, civility and morals and not push them into the fire; surely they beseech me to shut up after this slap to the face. The thing I have to come to realize is that I don't need to worry about them any longer, I don't need to think about them any longer and really much; they have lived way more a privileged version of things solely because I never put myself so forward to just be with them for them to just get burned by the social circumstance of a place.  Ergo as much as I try there will always be rodents and always will not be good enough despite my efforts. Such a privilege it must be for people to think they can make people feel a certain way and then reject it as if people were just made for them and just an opportunity and never had a history or a life before them. Its just that really, I have to free myself from what has been a long burden. Truly, realize that there are no benefits to a place I visited, everyone was truly sour or going to be sour.

    I just don't need to be some pawn in some story for people to make me the villain when and where there are no villains; but people making drama. Truly nothing went well even if I tried to make it go well and it be for the fact of just bad people. Just a very bitter ending to something that was open ended for a long time.