long mile adversary

   Truly one person in fall 2013 would later would impact greatly the direction of things and even read my blog occasionally across the years even today ( long story but they removed a tweet about me saying, "that some people are just abnormal" never realizing their actions to me from a western and not Egyptian culture were abnormal) was a person called Mariam. I mean I used to value the idea of this person alongside me but truly it was never meant to be. Simply just wrote off everything they were signaling as being polite in the end of things when I finally got on to contact them in time. Thinking back they gave a response which is more than number 1 individual ever would.

   I come to say that all they were doing in the end was just very belittling of you as a person and maybe and just maybe; there is an extent to where you aren't being nice anymore and just show some interest. Let me tell you a person just does not wake up one day and someone person starts paying attention to you more than others. I mean its an insult to say that I didn't and did not know what girls/women treated me like before. I mean am I a fucking fool? No one, not even the nice people at your highschool would say hello to you as many times as this person. Alas, everything was just casual and never to be taken seriously. I mean; are 18 years old built to be mocked or not taken seriously by something that see that is bucking the curve and really shows a person may be interested. I don't know about you but a person is in their right to think I what I thought and never be shamed or gaslight for it when they come to see if people actually had the same feelings.

   Alas, if you ever saw them as an inspiration of any sort-they surely made you regret even seeing them as a human being but rather just a corporate pawn and just a person who is excused from being a , "not-racist jerk" because they are a fucking exchange student. The detail that they are Egyptian is not namely important but let's just say Egyptian has a severe fondness for those who are white and ultimate hates their next door neighbors. Technically and historically have always hated Nubians and thus blacks. I mean the person was just disregarding me as they would do normally in their culture anyways. For what it is worth; let's just say that you were always given a mirage image of a good relationship you could have that was attainable only if you reached out. But really; you weren't ever even going to get a good relationship just danger no matter if you actually spoke to them. In fact, it would have been way worse if you ever tried to speak to them further and worse ask them out. They would have made the effort to destroy you as a person, as an individual and a human being.

  Truly I regret my motivations in thinking that one day I could be with them in the end all the way from fall 2013 to especially fall 2016 and then winter 2018. They really were just wasting your time and conversely your whole saving graces of even being able to reciprocate. You see here in America things are founded on how you can respect people as individuals and not just use discrimination to group yourself with other people and those you see as beneficial. Just some pointers to give out to people who emigrate to America. You aren't here to add to racism; you are here to take away from it. I mean you can cry racism when your populace is attacked by hate crimes but really you had it coming when you lived by a racist metric not to condone any attacks however. 

  To this day until recently, I have tried to forget that I ever fell for their "abnormal" behavior and thought it meant anything at all but them just trying to fuck with people and be very hateful. Yet I recognize that really they were my true adversary. A person just out to belittle you and mock you can never be an ally but an enemy. If and when I bring this person up; truly will show just how they added to nothing but just created a ton of harm and then want to act like the victim. Please, people don't make things up or how things work usually for them in talking with the opposite sex but yet this person would assume I was stupid and the fool. But yet, I think it needs to be said that I am not the fool in any manner but they truly did fuck me over....!