See life in its fullest.

   I really don't know but this summer in August around my Birthday, I was listening to the Killers;  Dying Breed. The singer gets to the point about a promise and I start thinking about someone from the past that I made a silent promise that I would treat them right. I really much wondered what and why I just had reasoned it was best for me to not be by them so they would be treated right. It was because of the people around who had something against me. Months later; even if somehow-the wizardy of app technology on Instagram connects you to this profile of this person-nothing comes out of it. Sheer nothing but realizing that some people just have pampered existences and just can do things and just be innocent and cleared of conscious for their actions. A person could play with another to give them hope and ideas of importance that they rile up to be motivated to do anything to be with them in a way that will not cause harm to either side because of other's people involvement. But people get in the way simply because the person was not true behind any of their ideas and just fickle.  You were never important to them at all but a trifle and basically people who were your friends can just support false information about you and your parents misguidingly try to censor your outrage. I am to say that I am not happy. No, no, nothing good came from which I went to college a time in fall 2013.

   The seizure of annoyance in realizing that you have been duped and the person who you value does not exist and you have been played like a fool. Realizing that you just must be trash to them and just a creep for ever trying to make any amends for what mistake they did in treating you as they did for that brief time. Allowing you to think that you had a chance. Just sharply and cruelly reveal their teeth as a beast of great annoyance. Never, much do you even get a chance to even have a side when its all about them. And frankly if a person is like that; fuck them and their dumbass friends.

   I cannot state how much I just gave up to stay in the fight that I would see this person again. And the time I see them again is on an app just to reveal their nature, their pampered and ignorant nature. All the while I suffered, was alone and just much of the time not in a great place. I now wish I never went to the first day of class but stayed the fuck asleep. I mean; my goals truly were just to find some people to make comics with and not people to be the elements of the comics. Truly, some people are ardently childish and a person is not namely stuck in the past for nearly just stating how something there affected them up to the now. Some people truly never grow up and really much its a testament to how bad education is where you have people unable to reason if they ever did anything that was wrong or uncalled for. Truly, there is no merit in morals to some people and frankly its because they don't live in any reality where they have to be responsible for anything or how they treat anyone. They could be throwing someone a bone and next throwing them down the sewer. FUCK!

Yet I am no one's dog and frankly when faced by such people who want to make believe as if people have done them wrong by behaving as natural people-I do not forgive them and I will not fuck with them. Pose theirselves as such a big deal but all they wanted to do is be a big feely dick to weigh down your life and ponder to destroy what you could even accomplish.  Being committed to such a person time and time and time again just makes me sick. It just gives me a moment of pure fucking anger and annoyance and then I must truly focus on something else because of how sick it makes me. Its just that hopes of having something good for you in the terms of a romantic relationship is so vilified by every angle of some social circle around you and much of those you can meet that those who are truly good are just those who slip through your fingers because you devote yourself to trash. Every golden horizon that you hope for and one that you have been looking for 8 years which you should not have been ever ashamed of( but people surely expect you to be ashamed of) and everything behind that golden horizon; your efforts, sacrifices and your hopes just never materializes into anyone person but saying, "fuck you". Just refusing that you even exist as a person so sorely led on. Not that you suffered anything. Not that you went through anything and not that you did not have any resolution to feelings things weren't over. Maybe it was best. Maybe people are just shortsighted when they are behind the face of a sorority, privilege and just a lacking lifestyle that just adds into an intolerable status quo. Someone on the way to this fuck up, this realization that you just sowed and toiled for shit said to me, " maybe one day you will be father and have children". Just they were interjecting their bullshit on me as if I was a pawn of their imagination. 

   I would say that a person should appear callous when they must preserve their human fucking dignity. Should never lower theirselves but to be the interjection of someone's image in their imagination. Maybe you are what you are and when there is nothing special about you and some stranger just keeps interjecting there is just by looking at you and never doing anything to show that you are special-you don't need to be bothered with them. You don't. Its not your responsibility and frankly, one should not beat theirselves not knowing this shit from a young age. But this person brought no value into the world. They just dicked around with a person and their head and then listened to snakes who hated the person and purely held them in a even more bizarre fictional length of knowing them. Maybe folks when I was in that event in fall 2016 which changed much than I care to tolerate; a truth was shown but I just cared to just continue living in bliss of a lie but surely a person realizes that they just gave a second chance to find the truth. And I have found it and truly it is painful but really some people for all their innocence of looks are never innocent whatever the fuck.

   Truly some people will never value commitment nor the people who were holding it; they can just get married under their false christian god, indian gods, chinese gods, african gods or whatever the blissful dumbfuckery they believe in. Keep their nasty stereotypes, dumb way of living, xenophobic beliefs and way of being, their hunger for destructing and lies on how the world works  to theirselves. As for me, I just have better beliefs that I believe behind, better aspirations, moral expectations and character. People can do whatever the fuck they want but I will surely do whatever the fuck I want with the truth. And if telling people as they really are is a crime, then you truly live amongst a bad society filled to the brim with bad people. I accel you to open your mind and realize that life is often never truly registered its true importance when people try to validate their misinformed, immoral and invalid opinions as the truth. People will alas shirk from what life truly is. We of the modern era have been conditioned to not give a damn for the real nature of things; but truly the real nature sees through every myth and construct that is not right with the world. Truly, you don't have a coronavirus with the people not living at all to see life in its fullest.