mk mzodern day 3/4/5

Another type of day and another type of dread.
This is where stories I made to be read.

Herein on these days I tried to focus on making new articles and stories for my blog. It was very hard to be within that place at times. The library I would go. There were many ideals that I could not do; for it might anger certain people.  At times it felt like running through jelly and then other times it felt like being hit by rocks.

I tried to keep on the path but it just did not go, I was in a new area. The area was volatile. There was much I wanted to explore and for most of all; the library was not a very friendly place. The people were noisy like a city, they wanted you to drop what you were doing to help them on their projects but could never give you the common courtesy and respect for your projects.

At times it was so distracting and a large issue that continuing to write in this environment on this particular project would give you bad ideas and bad outcomes. So yea, it was necessary, to not continue to struggle when you could easily become collapsed under rocks and continually stuck under water.

I don't know if anyone realized by the sum of the classes I went to just expected you to conform to the culture of the school and if you could not do it and you stuck out like a sore thumb, or rather if people could not control you or be certain of your actions; you were targeted and particularly targeted off site in the class room. The same event occurred as in the classroom as in the library but on a larger and deeper scale as if a city laid over it indeed. You could poke your head up and wonder if it was really real and that you were imagining things but you are not, when these people correspond in action to the event and send an another corresponding event in the outside areas to gut you. Cannot tell you how many high pressure moments I experienced in that place in those first days alone but they were not pretty.

Eventually I needed to find out more about the school and environment and needed to experiment more in my own skills than to spend forever on this one project of writing in masse, when the environment was wildly suited against it. The history class was the most interesting class. It had the most people and you could feel something eerie on the ceiling and around you and people else wise noticed it but pretended as if it was not there. Some of the professors gleamed in fake cheer and one was radiating in this eerie feeling and that is when I realized as if pinned in a thought. That someone was trying to gut me  and I completely got away from the topic matter as quickly as I could. Because it was an unknown of what was even going to happen next.

I focused on girls and basically; discovered someone I did see and like just at that moment. Then someone added on in commentary. I stayed calm and kept thinking about her. They hesitated and backed off. To ask a question if I liked anyone else and when I saw a pair and looked at them, they further commented. The individual in question talked as if they were enslaved to say these things and more so, did not really want to say them and it was as if women were shoes to try on here.

However, I broke away from the who impactus of this event and I could only think about this girl I had just saw...I did not think of her as a savior. I just felt like I had seen love at first sight and no one could bother me for the rest of that time. But as I left and tried to see if I should approach her, someone tried to intervene and if I was surrounded, many people beckoned onto me their honest forced opinions.

I realized the hell I was in; it is the worst for a prior heart broken teen. One in when people were not based on their behavior but the behavior of those behind these scenes. And if you do not believe that if this is the middle of the afternoon and they come at you with " women are property" who knows what evil tricks and evil things they have up their selves to deceive and kill. And best be to rather ensure the safety of this particular individual for the sake of their success as no one has any reason to look out for them at all and possible protect them from this system in which just gets its way with people. Maybe you can find a chance to be with them, but are you strong enough to defend against any attacker from this institution of unknown abilities. The answer lies in why; I was limited in ways of contacting people from the start. They already knew I knew what this place was and some people were even willing to help and some were willing to commit and kill anyone who tried to survive this place whilst not being a slave to the culture, most ungodly and most uncultured. Seriously what the fuck man.

But I was willing to survive and if not see if I could become closer to the ones I liked. I omit other people from this telling because really by now, if you don't know, you'll never know. I written of a bit on my blog and all else not the true full account of events. And will not make these ideals available to the public not in fear of people. Just because I reserve this information to myself and myself alone.
And I would write too much about each such that it would have to be another tome. I would not be put down is what I am saying. I would not live in this abnormal situation and just stood by with all these crazy nymphs just waiting in calm to be freed and wreck terror on me and others who actually came to learn and interact like normal sane people. The end. As well as the end for much of what could be considered that era of dreams and thinking this was even the place to be and such I closed off what I was working until I had eclipsed this haunty place.