day 36

 

This basically recaps a time in lecture where I tried to do my craft during class and it did and did mostly work but of all I tried to keep the idea that I was actually studying during class just to keep the image of well studying student. However the post I wrote within reveals the longingness to be free of the situation. I basically looked forward and thought of all the girls I liked and the girl in this class that I particularly liked. Was there a future beyond this with any of them and should I be so entitled to choose anyone at all? Knowing of the actual situation of the place, should I even be worried about such a thing? I reason I had no reason not care and I did not have to worry and everything would be alright as I had found the ace of whom and why possibly anybody has such under fabric under a school.

I just had to keep it calm and keep up with not just the class but my own work as well as become able to make my work something in which was more craft than just some thing to make money. My work should itself be a craft and that would allow me to get to all the girls later in my own special way even if I never got to see them and even when things went sour here. In which of course things went way sour and I was actually greatful I did not rely on cheap antics nor the school to even be what would solve my problem reaching these particular girls. I would do it through writing and drawing and that has more life than a useless degree in which you reach no one but the feather and feelers of corporations.