The day I drew her and the difference.
The day I drew her, she smiled and she said" yes"
with such life. I asked her age- I wanted to know
for perhaps I wanted to see her age.
"15". I could not gasp at how young she was compared
to how she first looked and then I saw it. She was fifteen.
I could not just move away just because of that. No. I would not.
She all the while I had been drawing smiled at me and I smiled at her.
I made the picture, " for the well dressed I said". I felt this amazing well
in my heart and I knew she felt something because she was blushing.
I simply asked her age just to get to know her. But said with that of "15".
Nothing could be done but be a moment friend. I gave her a copy of that
particular picture. But never I felt such a connection to anyone before in my life.
Finally as if I could meet someone eye to eye on a feeling was that of when I was drawing
and the times after. However; simply would not be right in the eye of now knowing to continue
as but a friend who had drawn a picture of another friend.
I saw her many times afterwards;just to speak with her. Nothing more.
I just enjoyed my time with her as I could. I was not going to chase.
For all to be said; I had feelings for someone who was seven years younger than me
in a vital range of which things cannot be said to be done or else you break the red.
The red blood of the awful transgression of the law. But I wished to give some inspiration to
her in least her want to do art; that was the only gift in which I could her how I felt in any manner
of which I would see her as she was now. She seemed to ask, " how to continue".
I said, " you can if you really want to" I did not feel that was great advice but I had been there once
when I was 15. I realized one day- I had already gave her the gift to continue. That drawing in which I gave should be enough to tell a person that they could continue because there are individuals who are older who could give a good damn. There are individuals who can show that you can surely make it. I was just glad I could give ever this drawing,
and maybe I cursed myself from not putting aside feelings
so I could better inspire but I knew I said enough; its ultimately up to the individual if they want to succeed or not.
However when she was gone; she was gone. There was no one else.
I would offer upon this girl to draw her a picture, she would refuse and have these dead eyes and the poor girl much older could not even hold a conversation true because she thought truly to god that she going past her cultural bounds to even be apart of the actual world and socialize with people whom were not meant by design to be in her " world". I did not hate her until she actually was so fucking rude. Moving just across the class room just because I had spoke to her two times when I saw her in public.. She even announced to the teacher she would not sit where I sat. And simply; I was annoyed because it was as I said. Certain people have no respect for anyone but their own selfish views of who is who and what is what and never can live respect people as a large group of people do and not being fake to just entertain these equality ideas. Must be royalty-she must with those dumb eyes and dead stare she looked at me like a blank tv when I looked at her in class like she had done nothing wrong. But she knew what she was doing and was perplexed; her face mouth lower in a frown. In a gaze she knew she never wanted to be bothered by me when I was just trying to prevent from being ultimately rude all those times just by not even stopping to acknowledge her. Tried to be nice and what not but really the individual was as a girl in donkey costume tied up to her family's beliefs of their own impartially and specialty above society. Could not even make eye contact and just wanted to get back to her own shell of a world where I did not exist and would hide anywhere so I would not talk to her. Ultimately pathetic because no one is ever interested in someone who can barely even speak at all but nonsense they think is permissible to people of "your" caliber and never will show ever their true selves but hide behind a mask that is both duplicitous and foul. I feel sorry for the girl and many people because they will never get what real social communication and yet unity is all about because they rather make ant hills here to commerce their views of places elsewhere and never show a friendly eye to be in truth but to bypass them so they continue playing their game and never be accountable to actually being part of society as they should.
I realized that ultimately; there would be no one ever like that girl I drew for. I drew for her-with purpose. Even before I knew her- I drew with purpose; only to inspire that there can always be a good day. Even if I; was inspired and changed greatly in the act-there will never be another individual as her. Her maturity it seems went beyond her years. Dwelling that there is certainly hope for future generations. Am I am just glad enough to be there to even give her inspiration for art.
with such life. I asked her age- I wanted to know
for perhaps I wanted to see her age.
"15". I could not gasp at how young she was compared
to how she first looked and then I saw it. She was fifteen.
I could not just move away just because of that. No. I would not.
She all the while I had been drawing smiled at me and I smiled at her.
I made the picture, " for the well dressed I said". I felt this amazing well
in my heart and I knew she felt something because she was blushing.
I simply asked her age just to get to know her. But said with that of "15".
Nothing could be done but be a moment friend. I gave her a copy of that
particular picture. But never I felt such a connection to anyone before in my life.
Finally as if I could meet someone eye to eye on a feeling was that of when I was drawing
and the times after. However; simply would not be right in the eye of now knowing to continue
as but a friend who had drawn a picture of another friend.
I saw her many times afterwards;just to speak with her. Nothing more.
I just enjoyed my time with her as I could. I was not going to chase.
For all to be said; I had feelings for someone who was seven years younger than me
in a vital range of which things cannot be said to be done or else you break the red.
The red blood of the awful transgression of the law. But I wished to give some inspiration to
her in least her want to do art; that was the only gift in which I could her how I felt in any manner
of which I would see her as she was now. She seemed to ask, " how to continue".
I said, " you can if you really want to" I did not feel that was great advice but I had been there once
when I was 15. I realized one day- I had already gave her the gift to continue. That drawing in which I gave should be enough to tell a person that they could continue because there are individuals who are older who could give a good damn. There are individuals who can show that you can surely make it. I was just glad I could give ever this drawing,
and maybe I cursed myself from not putting aside feelings
so I could better inspire but I knew I said enough; its ultimately up to the individual if they want to succeed or not.
However when she was gone; she was gone. There was no one else.
I would offer upon this girl to draw her a picture, she would refuse and have these dead eyes and the poor girl much older could not even hold a conversation true because she thought truly to god that she going past her cultural bounds to even be apart of the actual world and socialize with people whom were not meant by design to be in her " world". I did not hate her until she actually was so fucking rude. Moving just across the class room just because I had spoke to her two times when I saw her in public.. She even announced to the teacher she would not sit where I sat. And simply; I was annoyed because it was as I said. Certain people have no respect for anyone but their own selfish views of who is who and what is what and never can live respect people as a large group of people do and not being fake to just entertain these equality ideas. Must be royalty-she must with those dumb eyes and dead stare she looked at me like a blank tv when I looked at her in class like she had done nothing wrong. But she knew what she was doing and was perplexed; her face mouth lower in a frown. In a gaze she knew she never wanted to be bothered by me when I was just trying to prevent from being ultimately rude all those times just by not even stopping to acknowledge her. Tried to be nice and what not but really the individual was as a girl in donkey costume tied up to her family's beliefs of their own impartially and specialty above society. Could not even make eye contact and just wanted to get back to her own shell of a world where I did not exist and would hide anywhere so I would not talk to her. Ultimately pathetic because no one is ever interested in someone who can barely even speak at all but nonsense they think is permissible to people of "your" caliber and never will show ever their true selves but hide behind a mask that is both duplicitous and foul. I feel sorry for the girl and many people because they will never get what real social communication and yet unity is all about because they rather make ant hills here to commerce their views of places elsewhere and never show a friendly eye to be in truth but to bypass them so they continue playing their game and never be accountable to actually being part of society as they should.
I realized that ultimately; there would be no one ever like that girl I drew for. I drew for her-with purpose. Even before I knew her- I drew with purpose; only to inspire that there can always be a good day. Even if I; was inspired and changed greatly in the act-there will never be another individual as her. Her maturity it seems went beyond her years. Dwelling that there is certainly hope for future generations. Am I am just glad enough to be there to even give her inspiration for art.
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