MM culture the real daily basis here and then.
Some days ago, I had a dream about being in the hospital again. I say that is one time you don't want to repeat. It was the day after the life saving surgery. I did not sleep the entire night that one time. I tried but I was in pain. Only kept to good thoughts and slowly as the morning came and slowly as the day came and then night again and then night again and night again; did the pain go away and cease.
You were able to get some painkiller every now and then but really it often did not help the first times and only slowly as if getting better with each dose-you could only anticipate the next one. It reached a peak to which you were healed and needed not the dose anymore. Even when I left the hospital still had to take painkillers. Swallow two red pills and there you were good. I stayed on a couch for much of the time. Not trying to think about serious things not at all. Kept thing about dreams and ambitions and drawing on the couch I did with a better concentration before.
If people had been doing bad things and betraying you; it was all best to forget them. Just kept on thinking about peace and happiness and where I was most happy. Found it watching movies. The type of escapism that barrels on through any tough time. Have good fellows to watch the movie. I did not but I had a dream that one day would find such fellows. Today I just think in principal of having fellows to watch a movie with when I know there are none.
I usually back then walked around trees in my backyard to get the exercise. See the trees and the contrast to the houses is beautiful. It creates and mood and a texture and for the happening in the world; a growth and an expansion; this beauty followed this riff. Embellished with a scene of a black clarity; the polish scene of a movie could begin. And surely it begun.
With an event called August War stood out to create my ideas for comics called Kyeombi comics.This was the most fierce time and also time I started to get into graphic design really.
Lots of good and bad things could be said to happen over a three year span until fall 2018 just found how pitiful it all was to be in this motivation alone. So many people from my region would go through what I would go through and really-it would not all be a happy story for everyone when not everyone can reason critically nor think critically. Just saw everything as a broken system; the houses and not the trees. The people and the noise. The real clarity is how destructive a force misguided man can be. In three years had faced terrible betrayals-terrible ambitions people had set on me and very terrible things that say the worst about human kind. It only took me until that fall 2018 to realize what a waste invisioning people alongside you is in this world where the main sum of people are just uncaring bastards even about others or theirselves and would only save theirselves when a danger is so presently apparent. Just maybe for a time lost that ideal of unity with people and really just gave into the ideas of working like a machine and not a person who valued the idea of watching a movie with folk. Just for a time forgot all that but realized after so many people were justly construed in the spring of 2019; there was no point in giving into the idea that people are insignificant. The people who can see the true motivation of a person are truly insignificant; lacking only the heart of a supposed god or made up one. People believing they are god thinking they know you just by looking at you; they could never ever even know.Especially when they are running into a hurtle anyone who is successful more so than them and been where they are can see. Still despite recovering some worth in people; this feeling just how wrong people are today in every spit in the face-sombers the attitude and one drifts alone yet again in the backyard. The trees and houses still look good together but the machinations of people in the world threathening the order and the civil people; sully the very entertainment of the scene.
I had by now pushed myself to the breaking point of what I could do for Kyeombi comics with the hurt ideals and sense of betrayal upon me. Like a wounded animal under a bridge waiting and looking out for the hunters who will attempt to murder them; I was having fun creating my comics and else but being attacked everyday by people whom you thought you could trust in your childhood.Flipped me over the edge. Belief in people. Who can believe a world where childhood friends are bitter enemies or one where one seeks to attack openly the other for ever existing and wanting to live a life like they never existed in the first place. When I had that dream; of course if you could imagine I had been depressed for a while. But then I realized in the dream what I had been through in life and no one past or present nor future could ever take it away and the hopes I felt from that hospital bed to the start of what was fall 2015. I found myself smiling for a bit and then went back to sleep.
The real strength of me I realized was not to ponder a burden and taking the hit as a strengthen and watch later demons in guise of people trying to poke at the burden( many privileged bastards at a community college); my real strengthen was not taking real insult to all the wrong that had happened. To care on and do things in a good way and push for wrongs to be righted. That is my strength and realized it was the healing strength of the mantra I crafted and yes-if not then and there but in the past and even now realized I could still craft better in mantra and mind to surpass the ills of any kind.
People have a convention of artists being this and that in society and artists being limited. I never limit myself nor the subject matter cover. All that remains for people hurt and indoubt is to go forward and do the things of dreams and live the life that where times you overcame things become a future strength. Despite some flea ridden folk, despite hardships and the fucking agony-it is only in ones nature to give theirself a try.
You were able to get some painkiller every now and then but really it often did not help the first times and only slowly as if getting better with each dose-you could only anticipate the next one. It reached a peak to which you were healed and needed not the dose anymore. Even when I left the hospital still had to take painkillers. Swallow two red pills and there you were good. I stayed on a couch for much of the time. Not trying to think about serious things not at all. Kept thing about dreams and ambitions and drawing on the couch I did with a better concentration before.
If people had been doing bad things and betraying you; it was all best to forget them. Just kept on thinking about peace and happiness and where I was most happy. Found it watching movies. The type of escapism that barrels on through any tough time. Have good fellows to watch the movie. I did not but I had a dream that one day would find such fellows. Today I just think in principal of having fellows to watch a movie with when I know there are none.
I usually back then walked around trees in my backyard to get the exercise. See the trees and the contrast to the houses is beautiful. It creates and mood and a texture and for the happening in the world; a growth and an expansion; this beauty followed this riff. Embellished with a scene of a black clarity; the polish scene of a movie could begin. And surely it begun.
With an event called August War stood out to create my ideas for comics called Kyeombi comics.This was the most fierce time and also time I started to get into graphic design really.
Lots of good and bad things could be said to happen over a three year span until fall 2018 just found how pitiful it all was to be in this motivation alone. So many people from my region would go through what I would go through and really-it would not all be a happy story for everyone when not everyone can reason critically nor think critically. Just saw everything as a broken system; the houses and not the trees. The people and the noise. The real clarity is how destructive a force misguided man can be. In three years had faced terrible betrayals-terrible ambitions people had set on me and very terrible things that say the worst about human kind. It only took me until that fall 2018 to realize what a waste invisioning people alongside you is in this world where the main sum of people are just uncaring bastards even about others or theirselves and would only save theirselves when a danger is so presently apparent. Just maybe for a time lost that ideal of unity with people and really just gave into the ideas of working like a machine and not a person who valued the idea of watching a movie with folk. Just for a time forgot all that but realized after so many people were justly construed in the spring of 2019; there was no point in giving into the idea that people are insignificant. The people who can see the true motivation of a person are truly insignificant; lacking only the heart of a supposed god or made up one. People believing they are god thinking they know you just by looking at you; they could never ever even know.Especially when they are running into a hurtle anyone who is successful more so than them and been where they are can see. Still despite recovering some worth in people; this feeling just how wrong people are today in every spit in the face-sombers the attitude and one drifts alone yet again in the backyard. The trees and houses still look good together but the machinations of people in the world threathening the order and the civil people; sully the very entertainment of the scene.
I had by now pushed myself to the breaking point of what I could do for Kyeombi comics with the hurt ideals and sense of betrayal upon me. Like a wounded animal under a bridge waiting and looking out for the hunters who will attempt to murder them; I was having fun creating my comics and else but being attacked everyday by people whom you thought you could trust in your childhood.Flipped me over the edge. Belief in people. Who can believe a world where childhood friends are bitter enemies or one where one seeks to attack openly the other for ever existing and wanting to live a life like they never existed in the first place. When I had that dream; of course if you could imagine I had been depressed for a while. But then I realized in the dream what I had been through in life and no one past or present nor future could ever take it away and the hopes I felt from that hospital bed to the start of what was fall 2015. I found myself smiling for a bit and then went back to sleep.
The real strength of me I realized was not to ponder a burden and taking the hit as a strengthen and watch later demons in guise of people trying to poke at the burden( many privileged bastards at a community college); my real strengthen was not taking real insult to all the wrong that had happened. To care on and do things in a good way and push for wrongs to be righted. That is my strength and realized it was the healing strength of the mantra I crafted and yes-if not then and there but in the past and even now realized I could still craft better in mantra and mind to surpass the ills of any kind.
People have a convention of artists being this and that in society and artists being limited. I never limit myself nor the subject matter cover. All that remains for people hurt and indoubt is to go forward and do the things of dreams and live the life that where times you overcame things become a future strength. Despite some flea ridden folk, despite hardships and the fucking agony-it is only in ones nature to give theirself a try.
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