Her in a Ghosty.
once upon a time; I met a girl in a nature reserve
we talked at first and I was glad and she was too
she was so happy to see me and smiled.
I took a picture of her at her request
and then we talked some more walking together
and then she said she had to go.
Needless everytime I tried to speak to her again;
she always had to go and always was busy.
Just saying hello frankly at one point not to be rude.
However one day; she saw me and I saw her~sitting with another dude;
it was not a problem for me. I was kind of busy taking pictures for a project of
sort and was trying to not be rude and finish up to say hello to her.
However before I can she runs off.
And yes later runs off with the conclusion; of guilt.
As she tried to shield herself from being noticed.
Which I really did not care at first. But I was not going to just introduce myself after that.
Simply; to be put asked me to take a picture of her. Second was talking to a similar guy who looked defenseless. It was like being asked to make a mockery of yourself for someone who could be said taking advantage of you. But yet there is no real proof at all to say that is what it was but for the terms of self respect; one should not come to answer at all in the midst of people's conversations.
And yet I was busy. So I finished hurrying up just so I could go to another place to take pictures but meet her on the way she was going. I tried to say hello but she too fast for me to catch.
The next time I would met her would be in the same location but near the benches she was sitting down. I wanted to apologize for not speaking to her that one day. Asked her if I could sit down; " well no." I tried to explain, " its hard to make friends". But instead of listening she gives up and leaves. Does not say anything to me and I just look on and I am just "~". I am just at a loss for words.
I gave her a fucking business card but do you think people would weigh this in the rude and disrespect of losing the card or not taking it?! Or that simply and just maybe you could actually call the numbers provided when you like a cellphone so damn much? But besides this all.
She wants to feel sorry and look sad as she goes off when I am trying to tell her she was not in the wrong but then I try to speak to her one more time and she wants to act as if I am following her around. No shit, when I am talking about how bad she dealt me a punch-she appears and probably hears the entire thing. I try to be nice and talk to her but she has such a grim reapers face on her that really~ I begin to wonder if she is even the same person. Come to find out that she is talking on the phone on one of those ear devices and when she says umm-hum-hmm so many times; I think she has gone insane. I leave because I have pictures to take. I walk back and she starts to move as if not wanting to be bothered by me. I slow down to lose her but I have to go somewhere else to take more pictures and then she is inside the building far at the end and turns around and looks at me with this shrug of hatred and "this eyes of death". Surely it may look like I am stalking her but I stop and say I am not. She turns around and leaves satisfied.
I wanted to cry the rest of the day.
She was no longer beautiful.
I was hardly attracted to her physical side but it was the substance within that made
her cute and likeable and the fact that she was so friendly at first. I had too much on mind and to do list to ponder why and this and that and actually embrace what had been done. I had way too much to be lost in mourning and being put out by her. All the people I had chosen to speak to at that place; where ultimately trash and mainly incapable of speech or being social or even being likeable further. I did not focus on my heart and I had other things to be concerned about.
But everytime they hit with the truth of their incapability. I just keep on keeping on to the point in which this one did not hurt even when it did. I thought there was something there. In that day I approached her I thought there was something there.
In that day I met her in the nature reserve and she would smile.
But yet was it all just a lie and when she went off quickly revealed the problem and that
she was only using me for a picture and my reoccurring was bad to shield her from harm~no matter how ridiculous that actually is. Ridiculous that someone would feel they had the need to hide so called "wrongs" in which people trusted them as rights. But maybe if you run and refuse to even speak to me when I have done nothing wrong; maybe it was you who thought you could get away with a wrong in heist of the best efforts of a friend? Even when they considered it not a wrong~ you gave away your true intentions by being your true self who knows it is wrong. And thus I am now forced to believe that I was all wrong for trusting such a " too good to be true" scenario in not in the happenstance of the meeting but the other person's ability to do right.
But I was haunted now, I was ghosted because on Halloween. or the day after- I received a scare of my life seeing that frown directed towards me when it was a smile not look ago as if I had done something wrong. It was to be said I was used and they did not want to be bothering with me anymore.
I was just depressed but realized that maybe and just maybe; this signifies that she is completely out of the picture and never should be allowed back in as if she had done nothing wrong. But I knew I was in love. When I would remember that first time and its brilliance and wonder; where had it all gone? It was gone? But why? Maybe because "ghosting" and taking advantage of people has become acceptable.
And now with egg on my face I am hardly able to cope with all this and all the other things I refuse to mention for the fact of it getting in the way of my work but no more.
we talked at first and I was glad and she was too
she was so happy to see me and smiled.
I took a picture of her at her request
and then we talked some more walking together
and then she said she had to go.
Needless everytime I tried to speak to her again;
she always had to go and always was busy.
Just saying hello frankly at one point not to be rude.
However one day; she saw me and I saw her~sitting with another dude;
it was not a problem for me. I was kind of busy taking pictures for a project of
sort and was trying to not be rude and finish up to say hello to her.
However before I can she runs off.
And yes later runs off with the conclusion; of guilt.
As she tried to shield herself from being noticed.
Which I really did not care at first. But I was not going to just introduce myself after that.
Simply; to be put asked me to take a picture of her. Second was talking to a similar guy who looked defenseless. It was like being asked to make a mockery of yourself for someone who could be said taking advantage of you. But yet there is no real proof at all to say that is what it was but for the terms of self respect; one should not come to answer at all in the midst of people's conversations.
And yet I was busy. So I finished hurrying up just so I could go to another place to take pictures but meet her on the way she was going. I tried to say hello but she too fast for me to catch.
The next time I would met her would be in the same location but near the benches she was sitting down. I wanted to apologize for not speaking to her that one day. Asked her if I could sit down; " well no." I tried to explain, " its hard to make friends". But instead of listening she gives up and leaves. Does not say anything to me and I just look on and I am just "~". I am just at a loss for words.
I gave her a fucking business card but do you think people would weigh this in the rude and disrespect of losing the card or not taking it?! Or that simply and just maybe you could actually call the numbers provided when you like a cellphone so damn much? But besides this all.
She wants to feel sorry and look sad as she goes off when I am trying to tell her she was not in the wrong but then I try to speak to her one more time and she wants to act as if I am following her around. No shit, when I am talking about how bad she dealt me a punch-she appears and probably hears the entire thing. I try to be nice and talk to her but she has such a grim reapers face on her that really~ I begin to wonder if she is even the same person. Come to find out that she is talking on the phone on one of those ear devices and when she says umm-hum-hmm so many times; I think she has gone insane. I leave because I have pictures to take. I walk back and she starts to move as if not wanting to be bothered by me. I slow down to lose her but I have to go somewhere else to take more pictures and then she is inside the building far at the end and turns around and looks at me with this shrug of hatred and "this eyes of death". Surely it may look like I am stalking her but I stop and say I am not. She turns around and leaves satisfied.
I wanted to cry the rest of the day.
She was no longer beautiful.
I was hardly attracted to her physical side but it was the substance within that made
her cute and likeable and the fact that she was so friendly at first. I had too much on mind and to do list to ponder why and this and that and actually embrace what had been done. I had way too much to be lost in mourning and being put out by her. All the people I had chosen to speak to at that place; where ultimately trash and mainly incapable of speech or being social or even being likeable further. I did not focus on my heart and I had other things to be concerned about.
But everytime they hit with the truth of their incapability. I just keep on keeping on to the point in which this one did not hurt even when it did. I thought there was something there. In that day I approached her I thought there was something there.
In that day I met her in the nature reserve and she would smile.
But yet was it all just a lie and when she went off quickly revealed the problem and that
she was only using me for a picture and my reoccurring was bad to shield her from harm~no matter how ridiculous that actually is. Ridiculous that someone would feel they had the need to hide so called "wrongs" in which people trusted them as rights. But maybe if you run and refuse to even speak to me when I have done nothing wrong; maybe it was you who thought you could get away with a wrong in heist of the best efforts of a friend? Even when they considered it not a wrong~ you gave away your true intentions by being your true self who knows it is wrong. And thus I am now forced to believe that I was all wrong for trusting such a " too good to be true" scenario in not in the happenstance of the meeting but the other person's ability to do right.
But I was haunted now, I was ghosted because on Halloween. or the day after- I received a scare of my life seeing that frown directed towards me when it was a smile not look ago as if I had done something wrong. It was to be said I was used and they did not want to be bothering with me anymore.
I was just depressed but realized that maybe and just maybe; this signifies that she is completely out of the picture and never should be allowed back in as if she had done nothing wrong. But I knew I was in love. When I would remember that first time and its brilliance and wonder; where had it all gone? It was gone? But why? Maybe because "ghosting" and taking advantage of people has become acceptable.
And now with egg on my face I am hardly able to cope with all this and all the other things I refuse to mention for the fact of it getting in the way of my work but no more.
Comments
Post a Comment