After the Ghosting

I did not see the girl for the entire week and frankly today hoped not to ever see her passing by for midst of the idea that she would come up to me and harass me. Such of the thing today I almost mistaked another girl for her and had to come to terms in what I was facing. I had to assure myself that nothing would come bad to pass but that this current girl was not her at all but some other individual. Hoping in sum of guilt to overcome the fear that the other girl would appear at any second by talking to her. But in sum; I was busy in sort and decided not to. But I did not need to prove to myself that this girl was someone else at all. That I could overcome this fear within. This feeling of guilt after accusing someone was just fear. But in sum wanted to separate this individual from the other by speaking to them. I knew this person was different but still had guilt in naming them someone else. Deep inside feeling embarrassed that I was this afraid of someone who issued a verbal threat that basically said, " I best not see you around campus because I hate you for no fucking reason and I am a total psycho". I did not say anything because I did not need to prove I was not afraid but to be said wanted to speak to actually know the individual after making such a mistake. Because no one needs such an association to such a grief or be referenced then on as the "individual who looks like the grief". Would be innately disrespectful of any equal student relationship and would hinge on the fringe of upcoming disrespect on fear of the other individual. However realizing how much questions and answers I was asking and answering it became clear truly shaken by the girl who would ghost who for some reason thought it her right to push threats against people and worse invalidate any realm of feelings one might have for this individual be it friend or student. As equable a respectable person. All feelings of respect at any level were gone. Of course they were not a friend at all but a miscreant who thought they knew the world and all the people in it.

However in this spot had found the will to get over the appearance of one individual and not continue a cycle of hate. But a sense of respect and community! In all it is free will that dictates what one can change situations to be for the better postivity and getting along with everyone. Yet this can only go so far especially when everyone is bent and eager to cause harm and no sense of respect and community can be applied to people who might as well be wild animals indebted the functions of greedy, hatred wanting and loathing society. This is all the recognization after the ghosting.