People aren't jokes. To pull.

 Pretty much; I got to say that there in the expectation of school you think that college will take you to higher places but it does not. It all an illusion built into yourself. This is what I think a certain person was trying to tell me and trying to think they were smart with their incorrect grammar. They knew what they were doing; they realized this truth.

 You expect the college experience to be something greater and better than before but all it becomes is a lie and even more pressing lies as time goes on. To think about this time with nostalgia that is convoluted and the antithesis of what really happened. I am to tell you the girl I spoke to; who many times would always speak to me and be the pinnacle of this perceived new high of life-was the same person who somewhat realized at even the start that people have these ideals and instead of being a good person. A good person to respect another as a person; they just played into the idealism when of course they did not believe.

 They knew they did not want to be with me but then just led a person on over and over to think they were interested in them. Showing up in elevator and elevator and place and place saying hello and trying to start a conversations I was even reluctant to even start. After a whole sum of education up to highschool why would anyone be interested in me and why would they keep talking to me? Yes; only times people actually do that I reasoned on past experience is for something malicious and so that they could use you. This person was trash. They understand established roles and people's expectations but they just thought it was a joke. They thought these ideals of one dude finding his college dream girl were silly. Pretended to be this idealism just so they in their feeble self will could imagine theirselves breaking from their xenophobic, racist and hardlined culture. Hardlined cultures were people live like shit and have no free will and just blame the people of color for their hardships instead of realizing it is them at fault. They continued to egg the person on when they were quite reluctant and never eager to speak to them. Continue to egg them till the next semester when they would greet they thought they were crazy. But in reality it is them who are crazy, abnormal, incapable of following social norms, and treating people like humans.

Instead of recognizing they should not be preying on people in a predatory manner; preying on their dreams they expect to come eventually after all the hard work they have done and the expectations culture builds of college and how its different from highschool and how so many people meet in college-they don't recognize anything at all. They don't realize that they basically attacked an innocent person and are being hostile for no reason and engaging in behavior to blindside a person so they can put pressure, damnation, hatred and dishonestly claim they did them wrong. This is how the privilege game is played and yes; for a person to recognize they can get away with something it shows intent, it means they are smart and it shows they know what the fuck they were doing. It also shows that they know and think certain parties and infrastructures in society like colleges will allow this misbehavior. Also to understand roles and social idealisms of people and their wants; they are actually very smart. To understand a person's expectations of wanting to find their "dream college girl" in college does make them smart. It makes them devious and makes the fact that instead of leaving a person alone when they don't want to be the dream college girl; they instead pretend to be this person so they can blame the dude for being creepy, evil and against society's norms. So they can hate a person for their own self appointed means. And also reap very targeted self gratification from this act as they just love being a prisoner and looking out to what they could be if they had the courage to escape from their poisonous culture which has made them a prisoner. Lo and behold; the person is a sociopath. 

They caused unnessecary trouble and turmoil for no reason. And whilst they see a thing called love and recognize its structure; they literally do the opposite of what love is. Instead of leaving people alone or recognize that people could fit into their lives  aka recognise that people have a need for others of their opposite gender; they but demonise this person and really much show no empathy and sympathy for this person. Rather come into this thing with no  empathy and no sympathy and yet understand what people want and dare try to subvert that these people are in the wrong when its them. They have no real conscience of what wrongs they are actually doing and how their behavior is not socially acceptable or even at all good but wrong, immoral and evil.

Imagine a dude prey on a girl he knows gets bullied because they have certain expectations for a dude to be their boyfriend/romantic partner and yet pretends to be that dude they have in mind but really much are not that person outside their act. And just openly just use this person need to cause them great harm and then get some satisification from that harm.  What if the dude just uses the girl's need to sleep with them, get the pregnant and then laugh at their face when they reveal they don't care about them leaving the girl to raise a child theirselves and just have their dreams of even getting their dream partner dashed and lowered by the poisonous standards society has about  single mothers? Tell me who is in the right here? The dude who just preyed on the girl for sex and leaves her a single mother distant from the ideal way of life they want to live and the romantic partner they would like to have? Instead of a romantic partner all they have is so person who hated them and just used them for their own satisfication. I am to tell you its the dude in the wrong. It is also to be said that the individual I faced was just the fucking same. Unable to reason their impact of their harm upon a person and just using them for their own benefits; some shallow idealism as them not having the strength to even live their damned lives. Never does it cross their minds that you had to build up any courage to speak to them, never does it cross their minds that you did not trust many people at all to which them even getting a chance to speak to you was a rare opportunity, and never does it cross their minds that they aren't the only one and that you aren't even dating them but they have a strange entitlement to you like a lion does to a gazelle! Its all about them. They have no ability to reason anything of what they have done wrong, and really much will justify things that can never be justified.

What is even worse is that they have the defense of a school to make up sensationalist images about them that paint them in a good light and everyone of your type a bad person. I am going to say readily colleges love to promote all these foreign people who always kiss up to white power but have a great hate for people of color who have lived here for years. Much of the times you can observe this on the news. So many times; so many politicians, celebrities and it people are shielded from what bad people they are by perverse lies about their freaking character and paint them in a way that "something else is the fault of their behavior". I like to cite that some person can be "accused " of being a racist( terms the news uses when people actually are racists) when they are and they and a fox news will say its " because of critical race theory" or "they are trying to cancel people". Its a fucking disgrace when all this does is shift blame onto an idealism that does not matter aka critical race theory explains how people are discriminated in a system of discrimination and while can explain why a person is racist; its irrelevant to when people cite that a person is racist. More so; its like blaming the fact that people can recognize racists as the fault of you actually being one which makes no fucking sense but critical race theory sounds dangerous to the many people who are unrelenting racists and are likely to support a person who is shielded by the fox news and much other news to think they in the right. When in actual language; nothing they say makes any fucking sense and shows just how little effort people of privilege can just get away with doing evil things and being racists. The other phrase of " they are trying to cancel people" just shifts blame lazily onto other people who ever realize a bump in a road onto them for ever realizing the bump is dangerous and the road is thus dangerous and things cannot be taken lightly if anything is continue down a certain road. Racists often argue people who point out racist agendas and people are the ones who move things back but no; its the racists who prevent the road from being fixed by moving out of the way and so things actually seem to move back just then because the racists are holding everyone hostage from advancement on a road.

Its to be said that people often have to take then another road when people incapable of recognizing the harm they do to others and the freaking shit they make other people endure; they realize they have to take another road to surpass the greedy people and their subvert media control. Let me tell you this; little missy knew how to work social constructs to her favor and knew when to play a fucking character. When she hoped to gain from white privilege all she had to do was  to realize a certain person to place blame on just to get it. Just to get away with things that aren't social acceptable so they could frame a person as wrong and they get their self pleasure. Its to be said the person was sick in the head for the great reason they could think of all these roundabout ways of doing things that aren't acceptable. She while being a fucking person who tried to put a person of color down noticeably a black person; would magically somehow have some interest in helping migrants from africa and the middle east who would also have a great chance of being black and would be people of color. Working as a person under one of the organizations which help these people move into the United States, find jobs and learn to speak english. Yet it all just a facade when she would just do evil unprovoked upon an innocent person and damn, make their life hard! Writtling around them like a snake and applying pressure when they knew it was necessary; when they knew they caught a rat! Just wanting to use their time at the organization helping immigrants to say they weren't racist. Lol; essentially tapping into the bullshit hubris message of diversity their college was behind which at the end of the day meant exactly nothing at all. When especially the culture at the school encouraged students to pick on people who live in the 3rd ward and people who are largely black and people of color. Yea, the story would have been different if everything was entrenched in a white community. I don't think they would try to be working at any organization for immigrants. Why? Because everything they did was built upon perception of morals and not anything of actual feelings or empathy or real desire to improve the lives of people of color. Everything goes out the door when exactly and when exactly they can treat a black person so terribly when they are peers and not people who need their help or people they can easily look down upon. They could lie and lie and craft an image that they do the work with the immigrants because of a personal felt dedication but really much its only to convince theirselves that they are good people when they have no ability to feel anything when they basically engage in great abnormal antisocial behavior to a person who did nothing to them. And yes tried to please their ideas of things.

You see people I know a thing or two; whilst a person had a dream girl they would want to meet in college and this woman called Mariam seemed like it and person was too okay with it just being a dream. That they would let it just be nothing at all because all their life that is all they had been taught. That it would be bad to get the girl and that the person could possibly not even be true. Yet it was the constant and continued banter of Mariam that even got me to feel even comfortable speaking to them as if things could even be. The great difference you should realize between me and the Mariam fellow is that whilst they refuse to break their own constraints placed on them by upbringing; I would never stop reaching for what could be if I truly thought someone was the dream girl or rather my woman counterpart. A person had self will and yes they were only hindered by past events. Not some false concerte route a culture had affixed in one's mind so that they would be enslaved to it. A person lived in reality and when a person can say to you fiendishly that the whole thing of them going after you, " was in your head". It was not so. It was only in their heads as they chased the ruler of thought to break out of a constricted life without having any will to do so or owning up to their own actions and having responsibility for them. Let me tell you; a person only felt sorry for a person and disgusted as well they weren't even talking to a person as developed as they. Just an isthmus of a person they were as they were just a collection of other people's ideas and philosophies they would contradict when they realized they would be in the wrong and then had to paint a narrative of how they would be right. Never realizing how easy it would be just to live with free will. To realize that you won't always ever be right when you have to make so much up to mask what you really want. I would not conclude that what this person wanted was me when all they seemed to want is a life outside their constrained own and life they could not live when they had such a deposition to defend the constrained reality they really experienced. I think it speaks volumes too that they would rather make a person who is black their target when they would never do anything of the sort to any white person just because they believe that America is for white people and black people are the lowest form of humanity. Just trying to use an "easy target" so they could live free or get a misguided notion of freedom when they had no empathy for what this person would face. But yet are smart enough to know they did not want to damage a white person's high time and mask as their ideal girl just to cause them harm because that would be bringing down society!

You see how doublesided a person can be when they have such ideals that support white people being the top class and only help those who are people of color out of this picked up transcribed ideal that they cannot feel but perceive is the rule of the land? They have no ability to feel anything and must always by a moral choice believe nonsense. I am to tell you that when a person tried to tell a story of this individual earlier in summer 2018 on reddit; people seemed to think that I was the creep and that I was making the stuff up that she was in the wrong. People who I did not even know where critical of me because a person was so startled and befuddled they used words in the context they understood; the misinformation and media image they had crafted as well as the blindsided ness. I realize today that you often have to take to many alternative roads as a person of color. Just for a person to be understood; you had to try and try again and actually think about what you were saying. To explain things as they are and not some general idea of what happened because someone cut off a part of your body. How these people would not believe when they just ate the shit of media images up and really much for all their prattle about people controlling them from the "liberal" side of things- they were just really kept people. Yet a person needs no validation from strangers; they know what the truth is.

Truly; the dreams of yours a person of color are always at the expense of some racist or some immigrant trying to appeal what they think and understand are top class in America. I have been in school for 8 years in college, I have seen the responses of foreign people whatever sam hill color they are and whatever damn nationality they are and they are mostly of hostility towards black people and other people of color. The great divinity must be the white people and no one else in America in matters. This is the image they were fed and this is what they would like to believe and maybe they get into America because of this dumb, pathetic and harmful mindset which sets back the whole entirety of people of color back when you have whole people trying to continue life as it was in their country and not in America voiding the great stances of civil rights, mental health and just treating people like fucking people. 

The Mariam was an egyptain person but you would never know it as they looked white and mostly could get away with that perception. Truly a person who had great problems with their own self concept to such a vital degree they had no real understanding of free will, empathy and all these other things. Was it via culture of their particular family in a society that is not the most liberated place to be? Or was it because from birth they were a sociopath? Or was it a combination of them both and bad culture just brought a person who should be with some counseling to think they were human #1 and everyone else was the 2s and the fucking 3s. Apparently; they had no feelings, no moral great understandings and so what would they do? What would be their college dream after all the years in education lower? To just pretend to be a white person and do fucking colonizing shit and patronize people. Listen, no one escaped highschool just to be patronized by a wannabe white person who greatly does not understand the concept of  people having lives, prior issues, fears and them even feeling anything through it all. To a person who is a sociopath, pain just does not exist as it does to everyone else. Feelings don't exist but obligations to ideas without thought of consequence and feelings of other people and their validity do. I am to tell you; a person must of had fun pretending to be something they weren't and they did such a great fucking job at it too with the school assisting and aiding them. But fuck a person if they want to draw a comic or a bunch of them and not harm another person to an unnessecary, pointless and contrived egoistical manner! This is why I freaking continue to strive to create better methods of comics because the people who are corrupt and the schools that are corrupt are always making new invention of social debauchery and evils to bring down people.

Targeting people in their time of need. When I had just left highschool a person was just not in a good social place and lord forbid a woman pegged on by a school essentially in her motives and the school in its patronizing diversity means target a person who was not in a good place. Its fucking evil; to target people who are vulnerable and just malign them as piece of shit who are the "evil ones" at the end of the day for "comic making" If this is the education you can expect my folks; you are better off not even going to such a place. If this is the experience you don't need to go there. They cheapen your desire to fit in this niche of college dreams and ambitions simply because you are a person of color in art. I think that everyday I stand up against this grotoseque and often hidden real culture of schools that seem to empower people of color in their crafty messages but are grave places of ardent/hard discrimination and atrocities. Your dream was not a lie; but you were just brainwashed to believe something that is the antithesis of respect to you. Yet everyday now I fight just so others will never have to go through something as pointless and evil as the prior. People aren't jokes. To pull.