Misspelled; The courage to talk to people who are no better than racists in trailer parks.

The following text has many misspelled words because I do not have any batteries to power my mouse to even check the words with and will not go through and cut and paste the correct words in at this time;

     In fall 2013, I could barely speak to those who were opposite my sex but in fall 2018 I was some sort of genius at it because there is only one person whom I did not speak to at all whom I held an interest in. Rather two people because a person got depressed and distracted to even work up the proper courage but alas- nothing would ever go right and everything would just go wrong frankly because many people are racist and really don't know their own self harming reality of having idealisms that are frankly cute to the real reality of things. Yea; I am to say that hispanics, blacks and asians aren't the top of the racist hierachy and literally only few people of these types try to oppress others to even the degree that racist white people do but yet many people seemed to think they had power by being racist and really disarming for no reason. But if a person wants to be a jerk and an asshole by lord's mercy let them be such people when it was something mutual but they had to go and placate that you were the villain. 

    Yes, I am saying these people were so fucking delusional and trapped up in a racial stereotype change which kept them from interacting with you actually but making up nonsense than to actually recognize who you were. Its pretty telling of a place of education where people are allowed to continue to have racist and self harming beliefs and just believe nonsense that is unfounded which actually harms their academic and social success. Believe it or not; I am not an antisocial person and I may be shy but the "think" is these people were completely toxic and neurotic even. They could pretend to be nice but just then flip a switch and ignore you and put in some racist stereotype to prevent theirselves from even socializing with you at all. It very dehumanizing what many people would do and I am to say that you see the naivety in these people. There would be a whole world of other schools out there purely against them like the school I went to in fall 2013; where people who were usually white would just say to you, " eww, what is that". To be said I felt some sympathy for these people knowing that they were unprepared for the real world and no; education would not come easy for them especially when they would bite the hands of those who wanted to be friendly with them just because they weren't white or whatever image of superior people they had in their minds. They would not be successful when many could not pass simple classes and thought that a community college experience would be so easy when they literally had shit education and literally were too naive to take anything seriously. You had so many people asleep during the fucking school day at this campus full of minorities; its a wonder many people I talked to had problems with their grades. I am to say that its terrible that in the end of the day; these people were idiots. They were.  The only two people who weren't; I never spoke to because a person just does not know how to pick their battles.

      Looking back a person realizes they were never wrong for trying to speak to people and get to know them. I really did not get to many people of the many I spoke to and would later speak to because they distanced theirselves perceiving that me and my race where going to drag them down. But never did reality speak to them that they were being racist, rude, shutting their doors, accepting a faulty illusion of reality that would not help them succeed in college( just make up nonsense to why they must just take 2 classes a semester and associate only with a certain group of people who really had unconstructive mentalities and yes; no good schooling at all) and really much that they were the last people who should be trying to be jerks given that they were a community college where from personal experience other places of higher education and their students mock. But oh, just play make believe that you have the advantage just because you decided to go to a community college. Many of these people I met were like 18 and 19. At the time I was 18 was in fall 2013 and I was starting to try to work on comics and build my business whilst going to college but what the fuck were these people doing? They weren't doing anything and in fact did not even seem to be in the mindset that they were in college but in a place a lot like a social club and/or a continuation of highschool. They took nothing seriously and really had no goals or even what they were in the experience for success was pretty lacking and juvenille.  

    You got folks thinking that community college is just like the 13th grade and stuff like that never realizing that if so they would be behind everyone and at a specialized college where they surely don't get the full college experience aka you don't get to go home to your family usually if you move away to go to college as many people do. You don't get that constant support and/or toxic atmosphere they have for you. Its somewhat a sick joke that all these people could do is look at me as if I was crazy and as if they were fucking cuddled and immature. Literally unable to think for theirselves. I don't shame people for not being able to drive theirselves places and certain other adult things because foremost driving is dangerous and not everyone needs to be driving especially some great people who cannot pay attention to the road but a phone. As well you can say adult things like having your own place, job and even own stuff can be hard in the type of economy in 2018 and 2019 if not in most recent times. But at least people should have some free will and some openness to growth to an experience that should be college. But all these idiots could do was reference the little they had experienced as the entirety what was to come. Lord behold; that is not how things work!

     These people had a low bar for everything and really much weren't that great of people who want to do anything with their lives but waite in self armed prisons, racist ideologies and convenient lies that would hold towards you like weapons. Many women in the place seemed to think that I somehow by talking to them was going to be their husband or father of their fucking child. Lol, you cannot make this shit up but it happens when you have to deal with a group of people who are raised with racist, self harming ideologies and work beliefs and really much cannot treat black people well at all if any other group. Let me say that if people cannot treat black people well regardless of their race and even if they are black theirselves; its a great indicator that you should not be messing around with them because they got issues and probably are so religiously endoctrinated its a farce they want to turn around and hold up black lives matter signs in 2020. You got people coming to these quick dumb conclusions that aren't reality and are harmful and try to make them larger than life but really they are just pathetic. 

     I have written much about these people in the Ladyquest event last year and things of that nature but I find that what I wrote does not even capture the reality of what I experienced. A good writer can capture things as they actually happened and I don't think I did that the first/2nd times around. I think that if you could see a picture and a visual of these people you would understand the complexities of their character and the great loss of potential to even be social or a functioning person instead of a person who mutters as if a degenerate. I find it funny many people tried to make me out to be some evil criminal anti-social dude when in reality a person was just trying to be friendly. They were the actual evil criminal anti-social dudettes, mate and were self projecting all the way home. They got it wrong; I was not the person who was foreboding, rude, and antisocial-it was them. Yet; some people don't know how rare it is for people to even approach with the intentions of getting to know you and not trying to play you. Surely a person could have just manipulate people to be in a relationship with them but that just makes you a bad person who violates good social norms and any conscious of treating others well. 

      These people regardless of the either the prior mentioned facts where just shitty and bad people. They were the people who took something mutual and made it into a self fulfilling frenzy that greatly characterized another in a harmful manner making them inhumane just so they could coward away from any social responsibility of saying what they mean.  I am to say these people could have said they did not wish to communicate with me and I would have left but they did the most childish shit. Pretend interest and then one day just be an up and coming asshat. I would say other words but its unbecoming to talk about women in that manner. They did an disengagement that was both vile and evil which showed no element of respect for another and theirselves. Some people can claim to be christian, catholic, islamic or whatever but at the end of the day if you are a bad person who cares what you believe. What you believe is harmful when you believe you can dehumanize other people and get away with and worse yourself and act as if the potential of man is all that you are. Its a fucking joke. Some people are so stubborn that nothing could save them and no about of schooling will change them into productive anythings.

     A person came that semester expecting people to talk with and be friends with and all they left with was the unwilling people who were so stuck in the mud that they weren't white and surely embraced colorism as a fact and just up and thought they were good holding onto stereotypes, racist ideals, and being complacent for what little good they thought these ideas would grant them. Surprisingly enough, if you aren't white you don't benefit from white privilege, abundant resources of fake guilt, tutors and all the corrupt rumor mill. No, you are the fucking chumps that are chumped on and well if you don't understand that-realize that if you don't put any effort into anything the teachers of course will make a point to fail you because you don't have the right fucking skin tone to pass classes by just being there. Yet so many people want to make believe that they are of privilege and if any one dares tell them reality to help their dumbasses; they start to get angry. Angry, realizing that you a black person are telling them what to do and that you are the "lowest of the low" in their brainwashed upbringing and yet when the teacher at the end of the year tells them the same things you said but then want to believe because the teacher is white; fuck them. Useless people who cannot even help theirselves don't belong in the effort of education but just playing fantasy with their families and friends in whatever boonies region they live and just living in the means of a box reality for the entirety of their damn lives least they are uprooted from this lie of a life. A person should not have to make people realize that they are a peer and that they are a superior peer by having completed an entirety of an associates degree at the community college already at the time if not even knowing what real college is like. Like damn; it takes a certain kind of ego and evil in a person to be so vain they withhold theirselves from personal success through the advice an older and more experienced person gives them. It pains me to say that liberal or not people do not do enough and some people will accept complacency to their own future detriment and disaster and waste their potential and their futures by a poisonous belief that they are lessers and must be redeemed by racist ideologies and white people.  

     There would be a person I would later speak to in spring 2019; a lady whose eyes were not the best aligned in a science building and this person wanted to act as if they were some golden person upon a great destiny because they perceived they swerved you.  I mean you can just look at some people and they  just feel as they have done something by being rude to you. In reality; them being uncivil is just a great inconvenience that a person is too evil and immature to do the right thing and wants to believe in racist lies. Yet will never have any success in community college despite their feigned superiority or acting as if being rude to a black person is going to bring them any success. It does not ever. Maybe if people actually focused on studying instead of trying to be so dismissive and racist they would get ahead but a "great" type of people of color can never get ahead because they hate theirselves and rather wish they were white. Base things on an imaginary what if scenario they are even liked by the racist establishment so much that it will help them out to be racist but in reality people who are racist don't give two mother fucks about them such that a motion to them would be absurd and even they would call them jerks. Some people think they do something but they are completing missing every freaking point there is. You don't gain academic skill by being a jerk to people-that is what studying is for and for many people they just need vast scores of history learning and religious deprogramming and time away from their family and friends who actually keep them down to even make anything out of theirselves. I am to say in society we are trapped with idiots and most of the time I would be speaking to fucking idiots and people who just kept getting stupidier and stupidier like the suns of Saturn and Jupiter.

      I am to say I came a whole damn way of speaking to people I was interested in just for much of the magic to be dispelled.  I would say that the great people I missed out on in fall 2013; I realized deeply in myself and from my experiences just had to be bad people and yes folks they were. All those times I never spoke to people was all for the betterment of me in the end because those people were so colonist bearing and even more racist. Let me tell you; truly I make so much the effort not to hate that people aren't doing what I am doing but really much you are right for hating a lot of people when they just aim to do really mediocre and trashy things in life if not things that are purely satanic and evil. What you should get from this is that there in life are people willing to make the effort to be friendly; don't take advantage of people's kindness when they are friendly because in the world there are so many people who want to take you down and perhaps making an enemy purposely and greatly purposely because you see some twisted racist benefit is not a great thing to do. You ought to take fucking help when its offered when people are truly being genuine and open else you will just end up all alone even in your sad excuse of family and friend group; people who widely don't even respect your real ambitions nor goals and who you are. Just will have to keep on pretending to be something you aren't and toss away free will to become something everyone else wants you to be and its kinda of ironic that for all those women wanted me to be they became what someone else wanted. They lost personality and theirselves to just become something they aren't and gain no success than which they didn't already have which is not even alot at all concerning the lack of acuimen they possess to even dream a dream or do anything at all which was never asked of them. These people I spoke to failed in the whole; be yourself element of things and really much just fought in theirselves and lied to theirselves that they were the heroes by the end when they were truly the villains for antagonizing people who did nothing wrong to them. But greatly people can embarass theirselves and make theirselves so unattractive and that is none of my fault nor responsibility. And yes these people turned people off so hard to giving a fuck about them; the only thing they are good for is to tell a tell on how racism is not dead and soliditary between people of color does not even exist even in places they largely inhabit because of the appeal of being white in a racist society if not racism delved into religion as moral right.