Despite the seemingly everyday premise it was not.

      Despite the seemingly everyday premise of things and how "normalized" the behavior of Mariam seemed; it just was not. In short she did not care about things her behavior wanted to be about nor what would be the implications or the consequences for this behavior. She was just doing it for social brownie points and really much just used people as items. Surely I explained deeper how her search for social brownie points was even more convoluted. It comes down to the fact this girl was just not a good person and had sadistic beliefs. Not that great of an individual and more of a person who used people for their own benefits to live in sadism, grift of being a citizen of society and really much loved to be a clog to a toxic system that overreached very much to get into people's personal affairs and connections with others. Whilst I at the end of spring 2014's semester where I would not go to the say university after; I knew that Mariam was not perfect but I also knew that she likely was the only person in this school who actually was not in sort "brainwashed" by circumstance to like me. This idealism tried to make her the exception to the rule of this wacked place well she was and she did later contact me; but she was not a good exception-she was the person who was worse than the others in a servitude to a mission that is like racial purity. She was way worse in the degree that she used others to please an ideal system which used its toxic acts to enact as if it was achieving racial purity by targeting usually people who just happened to be black and rarely something else(these people think black people are the absolute lowest) and their social connections to other students. She loved invading people's privacy and loved getting in their space when she was just a predator. She loved getting into people's space befriending and being friendly with them to all in sum make life more difficult for them and try to place that they should worry that they don't fit in and are people "who could do bad". Really much this was the real person of Mariam. Whilst a person would think that she was innocent and not this freak of a very twisted sadistic if not of a deeply higher school of learning racist nature.

    I am to say that Mariam so loved the gratification that I might say was only in whispers of secondary communication aka only certain people showed signs of approval that if there was a secret ring of people who just were out there ruining things for people and targeting people of color in this way of making sure "they don't dilute" in their minds; she would be at the very top of it by the time of 2017 if not in dead competition with other people just doing the same but different. These things were an addiction/ are an addiction. This girl wanted to prove to her assumed superior class of people aka racist white people and minorities who hate black people if not some Clarence Thomas characters; that she fit in and that she was American. I am to say this person got the wrong idea about things but namely they did not do this just to fit in but to be sadistic as well. They loved being a heel under something that seemed to be a status quo and that they were underneath. Its to be said this person never had an inch of real self will but to follow the worst and pretend to be a good person in the often dismissive way a racist does when they pretend to be nice to people they hate. I am not saying Mariam did not have problems; she had a boatload of them and anything that boat would never sail to be unloaded ever at all.

    I am going to say that the worst thing I ever did was waste time and effort showing that I cared about this person called Mariam when they did not care about me. When they greatly worked against me and conspired with other people to take me down especially in various points in 2016 but you can never realize that it was them until you meet them later and it just all matches up. I got to tell you no one has ever made me feel so sick and so hated and so unloved if not disgusted by my own behavior like Mariam. In my own behavior to essentially give so much faith to a person who does not exist and frankly I was led onto to thinking existing when I was weak. Someone who I reached out to when I never had much experience communicating with people but tried to be someone who had higher skills. A person who was literally treated like shit for most of their early education by the opposite sex. Somehow because of these injuries a person gave this person a free pass to be make believe lover when really all they were was evil; using not only my faith in them but others to extract some hatred onto me and other people of color especially those who were black. Using the trust that was had to frankly target a person. I mean seriously this person knows they cannot kill off "as many black people" in a region to sate their ideals of "racial purity" but surely will engage in ideals that they have control of such people and whom they will have sex with and think that people ought to be governed by them and their racist purity ideals. Purely getting into the business of people they don't even belong in for the sake of accomplishing which just cannot be done. All they do is estrange people who could have been friends or lovers just because they hate one is a person of color or is black. Even a rare occasion these people think some white individual does not belong with another because they aren't their ideal of a white person is will try some shit to separate people and act as if gods. Imagine assaulting strangers you don't know and worse these people are trying to learn about each other and you basically mislead one about the other because you don't like their race or even the concept of people having free will to decide whom they will associate with. If not what usually happens is that they just sow division between two people they don't know because they are very petty, lack any substance of their own and really much believe in self importance they don't possess.

    What would I be to say that some people can reach through these lies pondered about them to still come together making everything that was even done pointless? But only some people I guess are lucky if they can get away from a person who would easily betray them just because of people in an atmosphere whisper nonsense about them and the other believe it. So many aggressions in college but really much I am to say Mariam prides herself as a contributing member of society but she really is a person who wants to burn it down. Let me tell you folks; its none of your fucking business of who people date or be with when things are consensual. Its none of your fucking business and frankly so much discord will happen to you when caught meddling in other people's affairs but yet Mariam is sneaky and really much shows how dangerous she is and how dangerous the grooming racist atmosphere of that college is. Creating literal psychopaths who think they control the world and people when they literally have the least understanding of it all.

   I would say that I gave this creep called Mariam some satisfaction that she had me and she would play this card until it did not benefit her no more. Back in the day of spring 2015 there was a forum where you could shout out your crushes on facebook rather it was an unaffiliated school page ironically supported love when the school in question used any opportunity to destroy relationships that just did fit into a racist narrative aka racist white individual with some minority completely clueless to any racial realities. I wanted to show that I cared about Mariam so that is what I did. I should not have cared about the woman at all but in my memory the post was liked by her. I will tell you what a person was doing then; they were working on Launching 4 and really much that was a large project and just suffering going to school and trying to find out the best way to create comics. It was a hard time but I made sure that my care about her was not gone and  that she would feel nice from this anonymous call out. It was good act in good faith I thought at the time but really much the girl was not a good person and just used this as an opportunity to continue leading into her false narrative that she actually cared about me when she did not aka was trying to figure out even then how to utilize this happenstance to her own benefits. Just wanted to pretend as well and lead into this ideal version of herself she pretended to be and got others to believe her to believe. I am certain as this person likely did not get anyone to do anything of this sort for her that she knew who it was especially when I frequented the forum. She was likely boosted in ego as this was in front of everyone and not private but also probably angry that it was in front of everyone and for once she had no control over any way she looked at all. She did not walk away from this with any good aspirations as one would hope but just became committed and I mean committed to playing someone she was not to betray your trust and carry out her mission spoiling your social life essentially out of some very twisted racist ideology explained before. She thought this was her life's mission I will have to say and really much there is nothing more menacing than speaking to people actually and then suddenly the next day they are against you as if someone turned them against you. This be the power that Mariam would possess and really others groomed from that school but let me state that Mariam was the worst of the worst. Addicted to this way of being which really did nothing for anything but cause division. I mean, this woman and people like her in their little university have no real gall to kill black people but do this shit as if it will get rid of black people. Its just fucking evil as no one has control over those things and if they were to ever try some shit; they would just go to jail especially as a muslim Egyptian. Yes, Mariam knows reality to some extent but really does not know it to a greater extent. Really much an idiot who seeks a world without black people and thinks they can go about this in spirit of doing the horrible and socially toxic shit they do. 

   Oh, you might be saying; how can this Mariam actually do this shit and how do they even know where you are to even poison the well of your social life? Mariam has certain skills and very much is just a master at creating illusions of what people are and aren't about and uses what you can call "media framing" to infringe on people's space and get people to antagonize them or be against them for goals they alone have in mind. She has skills in fencing I learnt this later after speaking with her in 2018. She knows how to communicate with people on phones in an area where most women are hesitant to even not text and has those good call center skills ( looking at places of employment just looking her up after that speak in 2018). In addition to that she is a master manipulator of people and their conventional faith in social happenstances that many people take for advantage aka is an user and a psychopath to where she realizes the conventional and subverts into a mannerism that is wrong.

     Its just that you never realized who you actually were speaking to unless you actually researched her and realized " oh, this person is capable at surely spinning a narrative".  The talk in 2018 had to be the most jarring shit of them all. I say that when this person wanted to follow you on twitter when else they could have not in the end of 2017 as you had through 2016 and 2017 been going so overtly out of your mind about liking them as if it was the maturation of the previous story to come. They played into that narrative surely so many times just for their own benefits. I again before the incident in fall 2016 that hurt and hindered me drew a comic for Mariam to show that I appreciated our time together in fall 2013 and that I did not forget her. I thought it was a romantic gesture but literally this person was actually ticked off. I think they were wearing theirselves thin in the whole mentality of their grift; struggling to keep up the lie that they snapped. I am sure it was them who triggered the event that was the incident in fall 2016 given their skills and their hierarchy in the toxic wannabe somebody social circuit at that college. After that event I was highly to romanticize them as even some more warped ideal of a maiden they surely weren't. They suddenly would try to take advantage of this even more in the next year over as they seeming fought with another individual for some type of coinvented spot and made theirselves known to me and playing into the narrative that they were a maiden. Yet they were not. They were fighting with someone who was just of their same class and received the same brainwashing and had the same mentality of thought yet to them perceived theirselves special more than them to me. Not because they liked me but because they believed their own nonsense and were fighting for what really was their life; the position that was just of grift on anything good was their life and like hell they would fight for it. They never imagined that I would have spoken to other girls and that I was some loser. They thought that I was without interactions with others to not realize this whole fight gave them away. Really much a person was skeptical but realized who these people truly were. Of course its to be said I was very conflicted in the terrible time that was spring 2017. I felt I should continue the void of faith err the faith in Mariam and just was so enamored by her I drew of her in the early MK MZODERN graphic novel all the way before the summer 2017. It was all a waste of time.

I freaking suffered as this person played some game that they were a good person and that we were star clutched lovers. They added into the suffering. They added into the pain and difficulty of what I felt  socially and pushed me to my limits in terms of having faith in them when all they did especially in that one time in spring 2017 was show that they had turned on me. Yet a person as the hardships continued to come in summer 2017( which they and others added into) and even in the fall 2017 realized that they could not be truly the one for them or this was some elaborate ploy to turn me against them. I needed answers and not lies and not smoke and mirrors. So I actually follow them on twitter and guess what? They followed me back. A person was somewhat excited that they were to finally talk to them and maybe all the bad I thought of them would be put to rest. I did not actually speak to them at all. It would be to be said that I wrote somethings on the blog cherishing them and their "character" being my inspiration. It was peak embarrassment really as I look back. The new year came in 2018 and this would be the end of the illusion this person wanted to put up of theirselves. They prided theirselves as this well taught and versed individual in their public persona I am to say( which I did not even recognize as I did not ever bother to look them up in that manner) but the way they talked to me was just like a caveman. The real person had grown tired of lying to theirselves you wanna know why? Because they had graduated the little university in 2017 and thought theirselves over that atmosphere and maybe started to realize some stuff of how they were just groomed and really got no benefit from it.

All they did was look at me as if the spawn of all their misdeeds and really much were confident to remove me from the picture so they would have a clear consciousness. The way they spoke to me was disgusting. It was as if I was an idiot and really much I realized in this jarring conversation how much an idiot this person was and how much an addict for hatred they were. They believed so much of their own excuses to what they had done and really would not ever believe they had greatly in great intent lead a person on just so they could feel accomplished in the little brownie point nonsense system in a college that really did nothing but sow division. You think you stopped people from mixing interracially? You think you stopped black people from ruining some unreal idea of racial purity? Get real. This was like speaking to a fucking nazi strung out on propaganda.  It made me sick. It, the vibe even disturbed my older sister as she walked by which is to allude the scary real power of this Mariam to have some unnatural reach to people and to spread discord.  It was like she was a radio that caused fights and chaos. Simply my older sister was spurred into an antagonist mode after I finished speaking to her and there I realized the brutal reality; not only was this person a racist but they were probably the closest to pure evil. Literally after this circumstance a person was curious about the person they had devoted in Mariam's words, " 5 years to" when she would explain that I only saw her five years ago but really wanted to ignore her behavior and that she very much really given her toxic radio skills and her appearance in spring 2017 fighting was just a very bad liar. She had been perching all around me for such a long time I realized; hidden and not seen and just like radio waves in the air sending messages and manipulating people. This would be her skill founded from that cursed place of a school which I am to say is just a run of the mill skill these certain women have about them there that engage in the literal social heresy they do which is only to destroy things.

    Its to be said that a person finds the most curious skill they have being that of fencing as in that privy fight in spring 2017 had some sort of a sword as a weapon seemingly confirming their identity as that individual given to how greatly that they would have some means to wield such a weapon and yes be fighting against another competitor who wanted to essentially wipe me out. I just realized how greatly I had been duped and really needed to turn things around in not being a victim of this person and yes the other people who I assumed where the worst. No, it was Mariam. She was the worst and frankly; there can be no one so greatly dumb and oblivious to their own convoluted nature as she. The real reason a person actually even contacted them after 2014 was because they literally egged you into a belief that they were some good maiden amongst mongrels of racist tradition and cult mentality. You always wanted to assume that she was good and even had to go to several attempts to ensure that you stay allegiant to this role or that all these suspicious of yours were lies. I was so rugged down by this woman and supporting this person to an emotional level of star crossed lovers and deeming elements of faith to a person with no faith in people at all; I was sure to change from that after that whole twitter message which this woman sent aggressively. The thing that gets me is that this woman wanted to forget my name but really how could you forget it when I was just your target just so you could be apart of the racist cult? This person kept me feed like a cow for the slaughter so many times but yet failed to slaughter me so many times. Everything but their true visage of leading a person on for this "cow slaughtering benefit" was a lie!

Its to be said they blocked me and really much; should a person even block you when they so much even coming at you like this confirmed that it was them who many times tried to kill you in some roundabout fucking way probably from the very first day you met them. Its to be said I have never messaged Mariam again and won't and really if a person offers any forgiveness it is defiance against them and the life they want people to be subjected to. I mean I said earlier that they were over the atmosphere of the school in 2018 but really later and as time went on; they realized this was their own bread and butter and really much I carried no more about them and so they really could not get any gratification for me being strung along by them for the slaughter. This is to show how truly sadistic, mean and evil this person is but yet they seem to expect people to want to fight them and want them dead and all this nonsense a person does not give a fuck about. Going the distance to use their toxic radio skills to their diminishing return of the experience of any happiness and/or fulfillment they got from torturing me literally. Its to be said that they aren't much humane but really are gross and ill natured to an extreme that no one would want to consider them human if they knew the shit I do.

    Imagine fucking not understanding people's sovereignty so much that you think they are property and really much what you did wrong being a good thing that you try to get whatever little leftovers from an experience you can really making yourself look hideous and desperate on the ground for this one experience that cannot be ever again. I offer only forgiveness because really this person just suffers from a really bad addiction and lack of guidance. Where the fuck are her parents through this whole experience? Pretending to be people they clearly aren't. How bad do you have to this hateful ideology against black people that you end up just savoring what is very immoral for years and years, 4 years! Never realizing you were used by old people behind an university for their own unintelligible and ideas that cannot be realized ever at all but are the nature of their wicked egos? Never realizing you distance yourself from any real people but people who are just shells and clogs for cults and corporations? I mean, I write this because really should women be treated like this-made mentality ill for the sake of an unattainable idea and one that is very hateful? I don't think so.

Ah, you could wish for a school and society that preaches togetherness and healthy relationships but that will never be that school that props itself up on a hill as a beacon to the world and yet has a connection to that lab in Wuhan China where they were with Covid 19 from the start. O, I just want to say all this shit was unnecessary. All Mariam's and all the other girl's efforts behind their stupid hateful ideas resulted to jackshit. Their efforts to hinder me while taking advantage of my kindness and even me thinking they were humane people; were just because they did take advantage of my kindness and betrayed my trust time and time again to do some bidding for something imaginary. Something that is terrorism and not so different from what happened in Buffalo, Newyork. These people did not value anything of me and did not value my worth true and true and just pushed on me for support to be the next Hilter minion at top. Dehumanizing me for entertainment behind being apart of this secretive but not so secret establishment of twisted minds of privilege and false authority.

    The thing Mariam could have done from the start was just remove herself from speaking to me and other people if she really had such mentally backward idealisms and just let people be at peace. To realize that its not her place to control people and its not her place to pick fights with people just because of racist beliefs. Now, I am to say that a person could write what to not do when speaking to people whom you clearly have no deal in how to speak to or even respect as humans but its really simple; shut the fuck up, look down at the ground and just really much leave people the fuck alone because your behavior is not normal it is that of which animals would never interact.  Everything could be so roundabout but really fucking really; it really simple-you either have respect for people who aren't your same race or you don't and just will never be good at socializing them because of learned hate or innate hate( aka people who think they are revolutionary by just being so regressive and racist). I am to say simply that when you realize that you really have hatred for people who you don't even know and never have really encountered; the best thing to do if you are uncomfortable is to leave people the fuck alone and really much realize they are human too and not everything revolves around you and you lack of mental attainment if not morals. Some people will say that because they never interacted with people who were this and that it gives them the excuse to be evil and racist but it does not. It really does not do anything of that sort but is the failure of a person to exercise any moral good and thus even be moral good. I have to write this because people have just become so entitled to this fiendish mindset amongst others and tried to silence me for so long but I guess no more. Now I can move on despite the seemingly everyday premises that were of the prior college experiences which really were advents of hell and brimstone and stupidity beyond the wildest imaginations. Imagine being a school for smarts but foster so many dumb bitches; you really aren't a school at all but a scam and racist cult, pissants just failing in every regard.