Past determination

 In that time in the library there was not much people from the dorm there. Animi and this other girl would come that I knew of and then other people who were regulars from the dorm makes four people. What happened writing there was very intense and ultimately it was so funny...! I missed things that may have saved my life to such in retrospect; first encounter with the vestiges of corruption socially. To be honest even more ideas can be formed around all that and ideas that people definitely did not want .s to do. Imagine I do the ideas and it's like a slap to the regime.

The most thing I prevented myself from doing  was making a story about me and the girl in English. She would be with angel powers. Wow. And I, would be doing something but I said wait. I did not want to become wrapped in feelings that ultimately always are not taken right and I am not treated well. Well, she would never treat me well so whatever- a dude can still make the work regardless because I know people did not want that. Dove and Onyx subconsciously may be related but I am thinking of calling it Wantsome. I think back to English and how I was going to speak to her but the teacher always prevented me from really communicating freely but I always answered the questions just to try to create some natural dialog with her. That class was so boring and the teacher so annoying. I basically got to say I wished a dude  could have truly lived with the girl in that class instead of whatever the fuck this shit is now. I often dreamt of such future that was a good one in that time period and so basically by the time I go on to realize feelings  for another girl and yet Camile was a thing in this time period; I am very confused. I don't want to objectify anybody and felt that in the end Camile was easier to be around in the sense of availability to even give a try but ultimately you know where that leads. I decided that she in English was pretty much the only one who was not fake( Animi) and two ( I probably would not be put in a situation where I sleep with  them).

This is who I stuck with in trying to be with them in a not creepy regime way. But you could not have had won. I was not going to use an evil system to get the girl and for that I am proud. When I would write my works it would be after class or after studying and I would listen to the 1975; their first album and found myself thinking about the girl from English. Something great is no matter how much I tried to break the teacher's control over things it never worked and conversely the perserve ideologies she likes. 

I would like to think there is solace however in works of the past that showed my ideas and determination .