Things seem to be bright but in all honesty, no.

I need you to understand 2017 was promising at one point. When I sat out that day to make a bike so I would not be stuck making it with my father who frankly does not ever know how to have fun and makes a molehill out of things; things were promising when I surely opened the box and part by part but it all together. The bachelor was on or was it the bachelorette. It was the Bachelor, the 21st season. Anyways, I say bachelor shows keep great time of my advents in this time and forward if not ever before. I created the whole fucking thing of the bicycle, it was a challenge because guess what? No one wants to be around a childish asshat who curses at you because you don't find their perspectives on things enjoyable or even are them. Literally, no one wants to be around a person like that. But aside from that found myself making this bicycle really with a method and just some type of interest and I smiled as I worked but I was also reminded of all the things that had gone wrong with this and that girl from the previous semester. Especially did not like being mocked, harassed or just given a fucking middle finger. There was one particular girl I met in cosmetology who was on my mind.  What was she doing? How was she? Would I ever see her again? I really did muse the thought of this person's importance. But then realized she was trash, second to nothing and just devil and satan's toilet paper. I found myself then thinking about the girl I saw only by chance going out one sunday prior. A sunday, I had to go to church, the movies and then some place you can call Dennys. Decided to keep tiding along because home was not inviting with dear old father. A target and then like at TJ MAXX, there she was and I thought it was something of destiny. Hold this thought because I did think it was destiny then. Yet you realize only after a semester of that winter and spring 2017 of caring all your problems and seemingly the world on your shoulders, you don't belong. You have worked too hard and are too dirty to be but wishing the best for this person even when they seem to be open to you. You just seem to yourself to be covered in struggle. But then on this Sunday, thought it was destiny and on that Monday I built a bike, I thought of her and that was all I did whilst making that bike and at the end when I rolled that thing, the bike into the garage after maybe testing it out particularly in the house because it was too late to go outside....and then I went outside and test road it but it was heavy to move it and when I was done-I realized how much burden I carried in my life. In this I just collapsed in spirit but grappled back up but never as high. My life was on a string. I had to live with management and limits. I did not know the date I would be free from grief.
When my father and mother came home from dropping younger sister off at her college, what was my father's response to the bike?

Oh, it was poorly put together it seemed in his eyes and he did not look friendly at me even though I had spited him. He laughed at me and I will always remember that.

This was but the descent into hell. The next school day was just as that and so would everything be pretty much from there on out if I am to be honest of that semester. and just the waste of ideas.

On the note of waste of ideas. Because of my own restrictive policy towards creating much, I never wrote down the many comic ideas and styles I had in my head from this advent of building this bike. It felt as if I owned a bike shop when I made this bike but alas, I never equated this importance but to myself and my head and in terrible times even all this gets melted away.

It took me awhile to remember this ever happened at all.