The said sad thing.
I was going to confess to a lady that I liked her in a said format of comics. But you see some people are just blind to anything of what they want to see. And so I am going to allow you to see the work I created. Since they did not want to see. Or rather said that they properly proved their true colors by basically ignoring me when they could have said something given the point they were conversating as if they were actually caring in one niche but when they would see me on the other~they wouldn't.
I task myself to say I did not cry at all. In which I should have. It was an utter waste of time these last few weeks. I have been busy these last few weeks. Or I should say last two months since August. There has been much social change in my life. Been trying to improve the quality of my work and as well my life. The said sad thing is that for a majority of the time, I had been operating under the assumption that girl was somehow reachable when they were not. I was played the fool in the end and mostly costly. I missed out on people; whom I tried to give ample time. I downplayed my own needs of true association. Just to be with this one individual. I mean to say I tried to be someone I was not. Or rather stick to their envisonment of me and not be free and truly be free. But I believe you should be with people whom you are truly able to be free with but I will honestly say there is not hope in being with this particular individual when I would be disrespecting myself to even reach.
I cursed myself today in class and left like much hurt. I could never be with that individual. I had fucked up. I went far away to clear my head. Many times in class would come across that comic in its hiding and be fucked up. I certainly did not want her to see the shit anytime at all now. I thought of burning it somewhere in a pit and then extinguishing it. I thought of ripping it to shreds. I thought of giving the very comic to someone else. But now I have evolved it to give it to you all. I am embarrassed and have written at length of this. That I could fall for such a silly fake individual. Who just likes kissing up to reach their dreams and goals.
The individual reminded me of myself when I was just a bit younger. Ambitious towards their dreams. But the difference is that I am never willing to kiss up to reach a better placement in said dream and that kissing up ultimately is the start to all corruption and particular abuse of other individuals. But only when the receiving party is corrupt; however the teacher here is not corrupt at all. But just to say kissing up is something to never do. I realize now these same behaviors were very present in girls I liked who turned out to be bad news but where not present in other girls who were never bad news. Its just that there were only two girls who were good news out of like 14 individuals else who had tendencies to kiss up and just not wake up to reality.
The said sad thing is for a time I was convinced this girl would never kiss up. Would never share traits with these individuals but she did and I feel a fool when her behavior is much the same as they.
It just seems that you can't catch a break. But you can in this special deal. I was not planning on releasing any comics anytime soon but you get the benefit of a doubt here.
I task myself to say I did not cry at all. In which I should have. It was an utter waste of time these last few weeks. I have been busy these last few weeks. Or I should say last two months since August. There has been much social change in my life. Been trying to improve the quality of my work and as well my life. The said sad thing is that for a majority of the time, I had been operating under the assumption that girl was somehow reachable when they were not. I was played the fool in the end and mostly costly. I missed out on people; whom I tried to give ample time. I downplayed my own needs of true association. Just to be with this one individual. I mean to say I tried to be someone I was not. Or rather stick to their envisonment of me and not be free and truly be free. But I believe you should be with people whom you are truly able to be free with but I will honestly say there is not hope in being with this particular individual when I would be disrespecting myself to even reach.
I cursed myself today in class and left like much hurt. I could never be with that individual. I had fucked up. I went far away to clear my head. Many times in class would come across that comic in its hiding and be fucked up. I certainly did not want her to see the shit anytime at all now. I thought of burning it somewhere in a pit and then extinguishing it. I thought of ripping it to shreds. I thought of giving the very comic to someone else. But now I have evolved it to give it to you all. I am embarrassed and have written at length of this. That I could fall for such a silly fake individual. Who just likes kissing up to reach their dreams and goals.
The individual reminded me of myself when I was just a bit younger. Ambitious towards their dreams. But the difference is that I am never willing to kiss up to reach a better placement in said dream and that kissing up ultimately is the start to all corruption and particular abuse of other individuals. But only when the receiving party is corrupt; however the teacher here is not corrupt at all. But just to say kissing up is something to never do. I realize now these same behaviors were very present in girls I liked who turned out to be bad news but where not present in other girls who were never bad news. Its just that there were only two girls who were good news out of like 14 individuals else who had tendencies to kiss up and just not wake up to reality.
The said sad thing is for a time I was convinced this girl would never kiss up. Would never share traits with these individuals but she did and I feel a fool when her behavior is much the same as they.
It just seems that you can't catch a break. But you can in this special deal. I was not planning on releasing any comics anytime soon but you get the benefit of a doubt here.
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