Aftersnow in full swing

 After writing for a bit; Aftersnow is completed my friends in its beginning phases. But I will like to talk about my perspective of the past before I went to school that semester in fall 2016. It was a rainy day Sunday beforehand and literally I was thinking that soon I would get a girlfriend. There had been a girl I wanted to ask out but this was later to be somewhat shown to be plausible. I go to the local super target and this girl is gawking at me. Her father says ," do you like that guy". As if embarrassed looking at me she says no. 

I had seen the look before from fall 2013 and spring 2014 and I just gave up at the sight of hope. I would then see this older wannabe art girl and I would say there was this fierce attraction at least with me then calamatia happened and I could not date her because of how heartbroken I was and my mental state not being so great realizing how played like a fool I had been since fall 2013 pretty much. That many women would like me had to come with some caveats and yet it comes to me then they all choose their master instead of being independent women pretty much. Some people have more courage to hate than love and really much; I gotta say I prayed that I would be with the girl I was thinking of at the start but in the end nothing happened. 

Got me living in the worst of times ironically made to pay the consequence of thinking women could like you, the indignity and then either more losing the chance to have a life of dating and being dragged constantly by the former who continue to harass and mock you whilst every little fucking old bitch mocks the fact that you are old enough to have sex and there is a whole world they are jealous of!!!!! Leaving a person hanging is what those fall 2013 girls did and just capitalized on their cruelty for their own self made and organizational needs. Refuse to let a dude be able to naturally date and get what they desire; it's torture as they are always trying to influence the next girl and doing so well in this time but then I realize it does not work on an older woman to which them getting me fucked up like this even prevents me from dating the art girl. I then realize this girl will soon be married and so I have no chance. It's just a series of horrible events and pretty much that was the cycle until I just quit. I tried to approach women up until the time I realized how cringe it must of been to be nice and try to put on a brave face in a social interaction with so many people and I realized I was not a creep and so I left  that ambition in 2021? Yea. No matter how much I tried to get a good honest anything entry into a romantic life nothing worked.

Women just love the excuses when you are a black person but when the dude is white they will fuck you in the middle of the top floor of the community college using the seating of the furniture to commit the sexual act. Like my dude it's like every year the whole thing kept on becoming more abyssal to which is why I gave up. Then at the great moment you can somewhat get a gf from something connecting back in 2018 with some former extracated chica; she rather leaves you after she gets pregnant by another dude! 😈🤬🤣🐉🦐🎉🧨🧐🍾🤯🤞🤘😭🥳!  Alas; it's to say that literally fuck those women from that first semester. They fucked up everything in my romantic life so badly it hangs by a thread from oblivion. The constant subversion of women I am trying to be with into monsters; it never gets old but at least I have this. I don't feel anything on the horizon as I did on that Sunday some 8 years ago before I started the school year in fall 2016 but despite these bad things I am glad I have finished my whole project. Forget the women who just despised so badly and many times with a great racist bent.