Efforts and Ties; Zino Flyboy and Universe Express. :)

 So folks; let me tell you what a person had to do to make Zino Flyboy and Universe Express. Hold off on Universe Express until the new year of 2019; yes it seemed a long time ago but it really was not. Wait, three years-that'd be that. Anyways I consider the end of fall 2018 and the start of 2019 as a certain crossing point in which an effort began. Moreso the effort to actualize all my comics that I set out to create. Not all the comics that I have attempted to create but the ones I did set out to create. That itself would be another set of stories  but that for another day.

In great list form let me tell you that Zino Flyboy was the beginning of a new effort and I did not even know it; I was just too busy doing to actually know it then but ultimately here is what I did in total to make Zino Flyboy and Universe Express in the fall 2018 end period and early 2019.

Spend a holiday of Christmas working on different Zino poses.

Held off working on Universe Express till later.

Used  draft from later July 2018 to make Zino Flyboy and provide the characters and villains. Completed the 1st pages. Day of Christmas later into the night.

Completed the 2nd pages. Day 2.

Completed the 3rd pages. Day 3

Completed the 4th pages. Day 4

Noticeably did not scam people out of the money trying to fund a kickstarter or something, tout the work as a best thing ever before it was created or beleague other people trying to create theirselves. Nor did I complain about the titles of other people's works.

Stayed away from porn as it is a distraction.

Read the comic and realized that it was a good work. Held off on posting it because a person would have to remove the lines and color it, a hefty task.

Came into the new year with energy that I no longer possess; decided to create a new version of Universe Express. Kudos to the people who try to create a damned project that is perfect but don't try again and again; you will never create it if it has to be perfect the first time around.

Worked on this new version for quiet a while. Got down new ideas.

Got to work on removing the lines from Zino Flyboy and coloring it. Kudos to all the dumb comic wannabes who think drawing on lined paper is bad but fail to create anything without drama and without basically scamming or underpaying people and don't get that art has to have a vision and not be a replica of an item created long ago in the distant dumbass past. Yes, forget all the people who try to belittle my vision.

Oh by the way the effort took two weeks to remove the lines and three weeks to color!

Published Zino Flyboy.

Continue working on Universe Express offline even though people expect it to be online, for free, and to be this secondary rate comic that shuts off after 15 chapters. Lol, a person just removed theirselves from this whole idealism.

Try to carry on a normal life and a social one but its too much to ask for people just to read a work that is experimental and keep their ideas to theirselves especially when they are bad and they surely could not recreate the work. And yes are not even on the same developmental level it would so happen when they call over a bunch of people to mock your work. So funny. So funny indeed.

A person had to tolerate what was torture. I mean feeling like a fool for expecting someone who basically had the mind of a jerk child to actually engage with you like a person. Even worse is the disgust of recognizing how stupid and naive you must have looked gawking over this person. Realizing that never is your true emotional worth even validated and just are led on by people pretending to be people they aren't because they are afraid of "black people". For the realness I could never express; it made me hate the person I not long ago was in head over heels for. The such experience of working on this work of Zino Flyboy for what seemed like a long ass time just finishing it with every detail and then trying to achieve what many people take for granted; some romantic life. Lol; mates! Imagine you pushing yourself to your limits and entrusting someone to even be nearest you and they go and betray you like as if its second nature for them to do it and have no qualm in theirselves that its wrong. No level of foresight that they don't know you and greatly a person is just trying to get to know you not be interested in a person who has barely an ass to speak of. Just thinking people are so sexually interested in people off the bat. Just then thinking into some warped racist mentality that this person interested in you should be belittled so that when they do what you have no courage to do;  you feel as if you got to build yourself up by putting them down. Have as well no idea that a person will not openly trust you ever again after the shit that is mocking a person's work. I am to tell you that as well they seemed to not think that I as a black person was capable of even recognizing the harms they were doing at all for their actions to even have any "moral" implications. Ya, you are a dumb fucking idiot if you think people are just going to sit around to you mocking their work they showed to you in confidence and because you they liked you and people not reign hellfire and brimstone when you mocked it with such confidence that doing it was right. Nothing more than a jim crow piece of shit "putting the negro in their place".  How they laughed at me and all my future dreams as a human being at least socially in the romantic sense and never the sexual sense just toppled down in them. Feeling like a fool and worse insulted on how vulgar the reality of things were. Expect a dream from a person who looks very homely? Get the fuck out of town! This might seem like a rant but folks it is because that is how much long I have been holding this shit in.

Lowkey mates; I could not just barge in that room and defend Zino Flyboy. Nope; all I could was just wait it out and just stay there to witness the act a person choose to do. Imagine today that many people have still never read the damned comic but because a person has trust issues when you give one person the first look and they treat it like garbage. Open challenge; you think you are so good and better than me? I want to see you create your own comic that is 120+ pages and colored. But lol; let's say that is difficult for people when they have already given up and never want to do the hard work or take the time to find methods to get to their goals if the conventional ways will never make it. If I was the person; maybe instead of insulting a person with privy knowledge that obviously creates a comic you found time to read in your private time as well as the connecting blogpost- I would have asked for help to make my own comic and how it was done. Maybe that is what a person who truly gave a fuck about anything of art and was well mannered would do. But some people got to make things about theirselves and their ego which no one gives a fuck about. Honestly do all non-black people and self hating black people think black people give two shits that you base your whole character off hating someone and some people who you never know and refuse to know but make baseless claims, accusations, nonsense, false knowledge and gibberish about. I could not care less about a two mint polly who refuses to score a fucking ace in the "basic human kindness and civility" department. Or in the lingo people will understand a 2 cent fool who struggles with basic human shit.

I thought then that it would be bad if I reacted very negatively and had to curate a public response to this outburst by this person with no good morals. They fucking hurt my heart and just wiped the deck with thinking so high of theirselves and getting off to the image that I was lower than dirt. They don't want this shit written; maybe they should never think of doing shit like this ever again. Learn their fucking lesson before it truly gets them when its vital. You have to understand I tolerated a lot from this person. If anything a person only ever talked to them again to find some personal closure or else  I would truly out them as they had me but to a larger audience. Which is not what I intend to do with whatever power I possess.  It would not be fitting to smithe such a lower artist so that they would never create art again. I decided that a person would take this hit for the sake of their character, their development and their future art because their artwork was promising and reminded me of myself. Knowing the great struggles a person has long had creating art at all ; I would not think of pawning out another promising artist to the depths of what is unfitting for all artists. I think that the person made a mistake in their somewhat youth (they were and are not that younger than I am) and really much should not face all the things that I could truly do onto them which would make them quit art. I found a clever public image so Zino Flyboy would not be mired by what could be seen as bad acts putting down an upcoming artist now, then or even later on. I found some way to forgive this person but truly a person will never cease speaking of this person and what they did  because they purposely in their power did something to detract from my work that I added so much into. Its only fair that after all that personal trauma they put me through and the tugging of inner morals as well which was all unnessecary; that I write about what truly happened in the past. As if I am going to write; I had great support from this person I had a great crush on that they helped promote my work to the community college populace. No; they did not do that but what they choose to do was attract alt-right people to my work and have them laugh at it all when I greatly liked them. How about that for trauma and still being the bigger person at the end of the day?

What was worse is that a person wasted time with them when surely they could have been connecting with other people who would have never done what they did. She was not the only person I showed my works from this time period or my whole college career and whilst she is not the worst; she surely was the worst of anyone in the then recent fall 2018 and spring 2019 time period. You gonna to sick people who hate the person who made the work because of their race on their work and conversely them. You truly think that's cute and forgivable when it was completely unnessecary. So to say this person inspired me to not share the work to anyone else in the community college or any place I knew anyone I knew in reality would watch it. Thanks, you really helped a person promote Zino Flyboy not ever. I met alot of people in this semester and I showed them works and they never mocked me to the degree and manner this person did. Maybe I was lucky to see this one but not really-the signs were all there; this person was an outlier and if other people talked bad about me behind my back at least they weren't alt-right racists. Many women never treated me as bad as this person did and only because I respected their potential did nothing escalate but they were the person who escalated things.

One previous time I had gotten them to follow a social and they had unfollowed me and at the same time the next I saw them they were mocking me in the worst manner just pressing the right buttons. What would you people, if a person who you liked alot was feeding you to the fishes and betraying you? What would you do!?

I continued trying to promote Zino Flyboy but this woman instagram artist called Lord Gris who has somewhat a similar background to me as leaving the first college they went to except a person never had any social privy to ever get married not as if their relationship worked out at all.  Like damn; why is it always women pulling my chain? Am I am fucking incel? The thing is that I am not and people just come gunning for me especially people who hate black people and the side of life that is not kissing white ass. Yes, I said it-is Lord Gris a racist? Who the fuck knows but all I can say is their actions were pretty damn well much dismissive just as dismissive as the twat of a department head of the graphic design department was and is.  I basically just clued this person into my work that I had done just to be social as they were asking people what works they were working on. I had just made a promotional image of Zino Flyboy where he is featured with a woman that is like an urban angel. Guess what? I get no reply, no heart, no reblog and nothing but this Lord Gris thinks its approriate to steal my image and just subvert it. Lowkey; the worst thing I faced even promoting Zino Flyboy is that it was drawing too much hate and too much ire. I only got good ups from this dude who has since dissappeared off the net since covid and this dude was basically a friend and not a real audience member. So basically I don't really have that much pull on instagram as Lord Gris does despite having more knowledge about things you get from college. This woman I swear just thought she could sideswipe me as if I was some simp pleading for her affection but lowkey donny, donny and donny's uncle and just justify what she did. Later after I published something that she must of have read, the woman basically tried to reinvent things and distance herself from the ideal that it was stolen and that she just had an interest in angels. What crap. The person would have never known I existed or my work of Zino Flyboy and that exact woman character if I had never replied to her. It goes to show that people on social media are basically incapable of having any well meaning conversations but to benefit theirselves. I was not advertising there but being there as an artist and saying, "here is my work". I felt laughed out of the room again.

Things just weren't going well promoting Zino Flyboy at all and I just was giving up on posting about Universe Express. The semester had gotten me shaken and yet stirred as James Bond would say. I still realized I had other works to create and whilst no one but one dude appreciated my work; I would take it as my own victory. Ever since that disturbing time in fall 2016; I really needed to make a come back to my goals of completing all the comics I had in mind to create. Lowkey; the whole advent was just caused by a group of racists beating down on me whilst I took a break. The whole thing is that even to this day people think its okay to piss on me whilst I am taking a break.

I was at a very dark place. I had completed what would be called my iphone but due to racist zealots and unhelpful people I just could not get the work out there to garner any good views that would lead into anything positive one hopes to gain in selling a work. I was tired and I was just downtrodden. Nothing was going well. You have to realize other things were happening at the same time and when all your social outreaches are a failure just because simply people are trash-it tends to affect you quite a lot. My mates; so odd to complete an iphone just to never be able to sell it to the masses. Greatly negative social perceptions killed any chance of me boosting any energy to selling Zino Flyboy to any standard of events when people had made the effort to diss the work. I still had to manage other works, the blog, school, social life of the romantic side of things and the toxic homelife as well. I did not even fight for this work to have its true moment at all but just pondered to move forward to save everything else. Maybe this be a lesson to some women out there-maybe if you are an artist; you should never be what you are actually against. You should be like a man degrading a woman's work. Should not steal credit or berate or insult people. Realize that what you are doing is no different than what "male artists" online do to women in your own dripping moral curious identity of social justice. Women are lucky they hold such sway over men that anything they can say will empower them or depress them even if they are gay because everyone has a mother-women should not abuse this power especially on social media and just pick on people who aren't sexist or even did anything to them. Yes, I am saying folks that when people try to talk to you with good intentions; they aren't the bad guy but just a normal fucking person.

Alas; Zino Flyboy was engulfed in terror and drama without me even having to try. Having worked so hard on this work; I cried myself to sleep many times knowing how it was disrespected and I had no more energy to support it through streinous unnessecary drama. This is to say a person despite the great accomplishment just could not do anything more for it but share the link to it on Issuu which is really not marketing anything at all but just being too afraid to put any energy more to making anything to promote the work.

I must have argued with myself about making images in reference to the fall 2015 attempt and how far I came in just four years but I could not even really indulge in that. I quit simply out of tiredness and really out of a lingering fear that someone would gang up on me again.  It was terrible. Basically could do nothing to help the work out but just wait for time to blow things over and that's the end of everything.

What a damned nightmare and horrible one at that.