Escapade of false memories and amnesia.

 You know you have fucked up when you fucking break the facade and the bravado of a man. If I was to go back to college like it was in that fall 2013 again; I dutifully say that I would never allow the shame that ever came about. There are certain things where people just went out of control and certain things you never do to people regardless of their gender. But let me tell you; I was trying to get the girl and really much everything fell on its face. Its like that manga Tokyo Ghoul; you try to aim for the hot girl but everything is a setup. You get into an elevator with a fucking killer. A person who has no right to even be free walking around and you pay the ultimate price. Every little woman I contact dareth just tries to destroy the bravado because they cannot see a man prideful in their search. Telling me how things are. No, bitch, you know fucking nothing and its only because a person has honor and good things behind them that are you aren't smacked silly with words that are frightful and tearful. I never have been forceful with people but these people think they must people for imaginary male toxicity which I don't possess and are just projecting out of what fear, hatred, greed of false power grabs and just a need to think a person is trying to impress their freedoms. Like bruh, its not that difficult to just pause and turn off that terrible paranoid imagination off and realize in front of you is a real human being! Never giving respect; I never have spoken about it before but women-I am not a baby, I am not a little bitch and not some inferior. I am the fucking man. Its only because a person is kind to the inferior species of mental degenerate that I have never truly raged at you.

Truly you will never know how terrible its to dream of being with a person and everyone of your dreams just to be laughed at and see the person go with something more inferior and just so straight in the wind of what is going to be an ignition stick for a flame down the road to which they return to you to ask, " what do you have to offer?" As if you are the second burger after they partially eaten the first one they did not like. I have hatred for this shit. I realize there is no meaning to fucking shit like goodness gracious of dreaming about what a stranger could be like in this atmosphere. You want to know what I got for you? A middle fucking finger who cannot even shove it up your tight asshole, you bitch. I am so sorry if that was profane but think of a husband or fiance or boyfriend to which this shit is happening and they give no fucks.  Let me tell you, that the question of what I have for you is nothing because you already made your decision. Nothing feels good knowing that these people recognized how you were feeling to come back at later date and just ignored you then and all what could have been for the most mundane bullshit comprehensible. Like man, fuck off; its not my fault you pick the white boring piece of shit who is going to do little with their fucking life. Its not my fault you feel like you missed out. Its not even my business to ponder this shit but like go on think that you win the day with that bullshit. You are so blind to even realize that people don't even like being the second fucking option. For all the little events you had with them could have been had with another person and you want to run to me for what? Because you think I owe you what you willingly decided was shit? Good for you.

You are such a kept dog of an estate you would believe anything you were fed such as the myth of fomo. O, if you actually realized how much you were missing out on then you would have acted but no many people don't realize there is a grand cloud of menace that broke even the promising future of what could have been. Like do you not realize how everyone used to be such allies. Such "friends" and then conveniently not to match some idealism going around as if people were manipulated into the such. No, you people were just manipulated to be something lesser than human and fucking things who cannot even think for theirselves or not be dependent on things coming from the top. You never gave a fuck about me in actuality but just as prop for your college experience with your bo, mostly. Just remember that you could have been geninue in truth but you really don't give a fuck about that; you don't care about anyone really not even yourself. Never remembering the small feelings or large feelings for a person and just ignoring them and then labeling them as a threat to a fictional paradise. Bruh, I am like done entertaining shit like this.

You really think upon a star into the sky that you are the one and all this bullshit but you aren't. Everyone suffers and well geez man, you just made things over complicated and realize that there is no future where you can just be with a person. I don't think I would react nicely to people who have threatened me for years and be mean for years and sit in a dorm and live with these bastards of women again knowing fully what they are capable of. I would never leave that fucking room. These women got it fucked up that a person would want to even be with them. They killed everything good and such that friendship would never even be a real option. The audacity of ego to destroy a person bravado and thus identity for theirselves and to get attention is not cute. Its ugly and it will not reap anything. I really don't care about people thinking they are some good people and all this shit when that just really don't get how they fucked up and continue to do so with their continued insistance that I need to give them what they lacked from me if they had choosen me. Obviously my life is not all that. I have goals to which they have gravely hindered. Like fuck; you don't understand how much you fucked up that no one would find you cute ever.

Coming out of the horror that happened in fall 2016; a person realizes they will never apologize for what they did as they truly are incapable of thinking of theirselves in the wrong and anytime subvert away from blame with bullshit and flowery fucking lies that they make me out to be something I am not and seriously don't remember all the good beginning times before they were lied to. Like bruh. Something is wrong when people are made to believe a lie that they forget what actaully happened. But whatever man, you live your life but don't expect me to keep on doing the same shit forever and you be able to do whatever forever.