Ladies, you do let pure rage love you.

 Living in a time where people are eating their false envisionments of strangers and their very prophecies of them and how their life would be going. Let me tell you, if a person was to be subjected to the ideals some women have about them-they would be their children's father many times over but in some toxic relationship where the dude is just dumped on and treated as if he is a problem when no its the girl who is. The grand thing is that never would I even do anything of the sort of have sex with these weird people. Foremost their forecasting ability is zany, off brand with reality and consistent with racist imagery and just hatred for a person they don't know if some sort of lust with implied logic in the most racist and hateful way. I think its stupid to think that anyone would ultimately just want to have sex with you. Live in a world where people go to any college and think they are entitled to your sex. That's right, tons of people think you want to do it with them but never do you actually do. Some people fear that you by appearance alone will just do that and they will be stuck as a mother going to school with some abusive "hoodlum". Fuck these people because really they are spineless cowards. People who don't belong in the environment of society.

People who are the literal modern equivalent of the girl who dared place blame on Emmit Till and we know how that worked on. That is to be said these people have no minds but to be about their own racist fears that in all actuality are disgusting to push on strangers. You think I would go around attacking as if women where trying to snuff a person of their so called "dignity to live and be successful"; I did never do any such thing but if I did people would surely not be happy and get the wrong and worst impressions of you. Its to be said these people are just projecting. They are the delinquents and the people with no form of chill seemingly think the world revolves around them and that these people that just appear to be their suitors are actually the such and the worst of the kind and they must look for the good ones. I think to tell you that some people just really lowkey want to date some white dude who will infringe on their culture and treat them as a second adventure of imperialism. Their good is very bad greatly as they just want to be disrespected aka will not yearn for the white guy who does respect their culture or anyone of that such. I lead that white people are still the shinning good exemplary mate for all people and colors! The shinning example of what to reach for in the college experience and if you are black-fuck you because; everyone must reach to that white shinning example. Its to be said that the people who attack me really have no clue what is good. In all sum, they wish for some entitled idea of romantic equal but yet don't realize that they will never find it ever at all because of their behavior, their naivety, their lack of cultural understanding around race and seemingly their great hatred for theirselves and people who are darker and dare I say black people. 

Black people are just hated. Treated as second class citizens by all the colored people of the world. I am to say that ultimately; you were better just looking for a white person to be with than any person of color because they literally are stuck behind "white is purity" ideal to even recognize theirselves and the reality that they do not even adhere to this principal theirselves also no one else sees them that way even if they will lie to them. They are just fools playing pretend and this is the harsh truth. People playing pretend to think that somehow people will award them for being hateful to someone they inadvertly like against their reaching for "white is purity" ideals. The racist system that some people love does seem to reward some people for being racist but its never any person of color who has these dispositions. Only racist white people win from it all and so to be said, you can keep your racist bucks and shove them woman who clearly is out of depth with reality and thinks people actually want to date them and that they are just another member of their harem. I should say fuck them because that is all these people fear you will do but you won't and then they really lose a good person and eventually get stuck with someone who appeals to their "white is purity" ideals who only drags them down and really much can convince them of anything and everything at once. They can stimulate an idea of achievement when a woman would be pregnant with the 2nd child, working 9 to 5, no college education despite trying and really much happy and content with this reality but never could ever consider the objective reality that actually being with the person who is black would have been much better. Maybe you would have gotten encouragement to continue on with education, some advice and some respect of boundaries and if not an actual completed college education but akin-just listen to the ghosts of the media and doubt black humanity so you miss people who could have helped you and instead become what you feared they would make you become. I have to tell you, I have seen people swipe away from me to go to some white conforming fuck and literally just become baby mama fodder and not in the "Nick Cannon take care of you way". The baby mama fodder your life is just a grand degree harder now and you always have to contend with someone violent and antagonistic who likely will never take care of your child so you raise them alone. Boomm! Explosion! The bubble of speculation has bust!

So many people envisioned evil things upon me from them centering around me being a burden to them; they were just too cowardly to take me for legit and really even respect me as a person. I am to say that even before you might assume that a person would want to be with these people but no, a person would just want to help these people succeed. I equally don't have such a thing where I get all flustered about a person and even dream of fantasy  thoughts about them because why? There is no place for me to dream about any person at all when many of the people a person had ever dreamed about where shitty fucking people who literally had no moral compass and just settled to do anything to validate their fears about the nonexistent shit that I would do. Black people are afraid of getting stopped by the police, I am to say that is the least of anyone's real worries. Its the people, who fucking terrorize the social landscape who add into the social complex that allows certain cops to behave the way they behave. Very much by allowing narratives to be crafted on a micro level of what harms people don't actually do but just are the imaginations of people who hate black people. There is to be said that greatly in sum, that I just don't see people the way they even see me as even a romantic equal. There is to be said that a certain level of intelligence is only a prerequisite for even having a chance and even the factor of if you can even be gotten to be known as an individual. These people who make up excuses to not be known, to not communicate and to not allow a person to even express any communication out of fear of what they will never actually do are just antisocial freaks who just do what they do to allow speculation, a great bubble of speculation that becomes a whole sum of internalized realities theirselves and is a blanket for people who just don't know how to behave and really much are so guarded against "being slept by some black person" that its even an aggressive term in their minds so much they warp your face and character into the lowest social class they can reason from their limited people experience.

 I tell you the fucking shit is the little women think that I am some what ugly, shrewd and some nerd but have some audacity to like a person! I tell you that if I have never gotten to know you; I really don't like and if you don't even give a person a chance and want to pretend that you don't have feelings to not be making these speculations and image wars- I fucking really don't like you. You are but a menace to my everyday sanity if not living a life to be respected as a person. You are the actual person who is the aggressor, the actual thug trying to start a fight where there is none to be had and really much a confused fool who yearns to be "white purity" transcendent when that is surely not even approachable for you by your culture, your family ties and lack of knowledge on how to even fit into such an archetype and even be successful for a lick of a second. A person so pampered with ideal realities that must be so white western racist enabling when the first real person who is truly a racist appears; you certainly will be made to beg and realize your mistake but at the cost of any self decency for all the people who you fucked over and put down. But maybe even after that you won't learn and just become self depraved and longing to be discriminated against by those who you consider your superiors. Its to be said that the act alone to wallow in the transgressions of absolute speculation and a bubble of it is so terrible it hurts no one but the person who actually takes it upon theirselves to do. And yes those they lash out because of their hateful and warped views seemingly to think they must erase a person from the equation when they overtly value theirselves too much in the silliness of "white purity" and just have no empathy for another human being who is but a black man. Its to be said that the bubble of spectulation before it ever pops leads to violence and on the person who an individual must eternally both love and loathe.

I personally think its a waste of time to passive aggressive inact the silliness I have seen adult women carry about. They pretend to be nice and then they go onto become not nice. I even knew of this in fall 2013 which is apart of the reason a person was warry to even engage people who seemed nice. You come from a place that is full of people who are liars and sharp like knives, you don't trust anyone and that learned nature is right when the people do give into hateful government ideas of equality that are just disdainful aggressions to erase a person's humanity. I would say the "government" was a school pretending to be its own nation and believing in "diversity tactics" but believing the lowest a person could be was a black person! Anyhow, its the nature of the beast for people to be passive aggressive snaky ass fucks who curl around you for their own purposes and don't even consider you as a person. Maybe you should realize that (1) you can get dangerously close to infringing on people's personal space and even comfortability level to which is socially acceptable that you can find yourself in a tough place you don't want to be in (namely, not wanting to interact with people or engage in the proper social standards is not something that can even be violated when people realize they must adhere to these rules of social life to even be human and understand others and not just have some inflamed visions of people which led to violence.)(2) people are more than just colors and black men certainly are not the worst people who exist but in my opinion; a white racist like Trump is better than some older indian woman who hates black men and runs a university (3) you will never get the time you waste on defiling a person back because oh boy, some people are just people whom you should never even dare to mess with when you have the least understanding of the world and are literally stuck in highschool and regressive in your social abilities (4) everyone deserves love regardless if you want to give them love or not-should realize that really much if you cannot treat a person right to even allow them to speak for theirselves before you dark fantasize to create a bubble of speculation-you should not be thinking of them like that and really much relinquish the thought they even would harm you any way when you don't know them and pull the shit out of your ass because of internalized hatred issues if not hatred against black people issues. The thing is people love "white purity" and go all ballistic when they think naively its threatened because they must go to a school with black people and are faced with even seeing a black person who does not conform to the stereotypes they have absorbed as if normal but are just hateful. I am to say that just because people look a certain way, that is not who they are at all and you don't know them at all for shit. Its the thing that a long stretch of violence goes on for people who form a bubble of speculation as they try to defy a reality that is only in their mind and really much are so off base that they could not ever succeed in actually landing that person. I want to give you a great example.

When I was in the fall 2018 cycle, this is where the discrimination picked up again at the two community colleges I was at though it was there before but not as prominent.  I came across this individual called Debbie, who seemed to one day pity me and dareth speak to me. I did not ask them to speak to me and openly; really much did not wish it as I was minding my own business. This person was just a person who recently entered college. She was 18 years old I would think but she could have been older but I just think from her friend and the fact of what she said to me being true, that she was 18. She seemed to have some pity for me. I am to say I don't like being spoken down to but this kindness was only a self indulgence. Why? This person was fooling theirselves that them speaking to me was going to add a smile to my face or make me look anyway happy. Why did they want to see me happy? Eh? Was it any of their fucking business? No, it was not their fucking business but they did it because they felt something inside of them for me. A person like them must of not been used to people being sad in a corner just looking at a book drawing as if to draw theirselves out of problems. This person dareth generalize me where as if I was just someone who was just sad and that was the whole ghist of the story. No, folks, I was in this time losing control of my life because of an injury inflicted upon me by previous generations of speculative potential lovers all ramming at me at once. Those from fall 2013, those from winter and spring 2014, the fall 2014, the winter and spring 2015, the fall 2015 which could include some very dangerous members of the fall 2013 time period, those of the winter and spring 2016 time period and those of the fall 2016 time period  which the attack was launched. If not the addition of the people in winter and spring 2017, fall 2017, and winter and spring 2018 stranglers were holding me down if not to reference the administrative scam artist duo at the beginning of this fall 2018 semester! I was surely working my way out but this person really much was so naive that they eventually I realized would only add into it and that they did.

 So much from Christian religion and all that " do as you would have others do onto you". This person thought I was a little naive fool just like them but sad. When actually I already had gotten a degree from this place and what did they have? Nothing at all but just an over bloated image of self worth. They the hero for speaking down to me disguised as something to be good for me but what was just good for them. I mean to say that even at that time period a person had to be five years older than this individual so when I was actually starting school where they were at; I was actually at an actual 4 year university and they were fucking 13 years old in middle school or in highschool. Can I tell you that literally this punk could have been gotten for thinking they were so adapt in the culture, adapt in knowledge and experience? They literally were starting at the bottom and had a bloated unrealistic image of what it was like at the top so they were going to fail here, there and everywhere all at once. Especially and especially when they had no form of empathy but to think they held power and prestige over me when I was not only older than them and experienced so much more than them if not seen so many other women come and go and do the same thing they were about to do-it just made me laugh to see them try to be nice. When they would only return the nice I would give in return with venom and hate. I waited for them to turn on me but it would not be that day.  It was only when I ever showed I had higher capabilities than me that they got scared and frankly doubted me because they didn't understand what a business card was, nor was social networking, nor being a common decent person or even mere graphic design which is on everything from their clothes to their computer. They just up and looked at me in fear as I came down the stairs and walked towards them as they spoke to someone else; a peer- a woman of the same latina race in highheels. They walked away in fear at me as if I was going to do something to them.

I never felt so much disgust and anger, it was raining that day and I turned around. For one thing this motherfucker never allowed me to even be in the first place. I did not speak to them. They always spoke to me! I just wanted to be alone. They thought to belittle me and I was kind enough to allow them to even do it essentially because literally a person is not animal who is going to slap someone just because they speak to them or appear. I think it socially odd and unacceptable. I bring up the rain of that day because I stepped out in it and just saw these bumbling idiot men and women pairs just laughing and gazing at me weird. It was a watershed moment. You don't understand how many women I tolerated this behavior from and now, I tolerated it from some dumb ass who could not even get into an actual university to even fail out like so much of their contemporaries and never return. No, this idiot thought they had space for error but they did not. They should not have come to me and done this to me. Speak to me nice and then treat me with abuse when they realized they had feelings they only understood. I had no feelings for them really because I did not know them and I am not a person who likes to imagine shit about random strangers who could just be serial killers just waiting to be. But just like that; this girl was already there with that malice of a serial killer, trying to just make me meat and not a person and just make me an image and not even communicate their ideals they so thought of me. Maybe they knew their thoughts weren't appropriate. Greatly, them being latina, would they not fear the fallback for their racist ideals on so many fronts and levels?

They thought to theirselves ,"yea, let us go help that person" but it was all self achieving ego bliss because I was just even in a worse place because they added even more trauma to me from what happened earlier time and time again. But they were naive and thought, "he hath not been around and surely never encountered other women-I am special". They thought their actions might have been cute or even good but they weren't. Cowardly, antagonistic and violent for no one reason is what they were. They choose to be this. They choose to speak to me. If I could have helped them along in their journey of self discovery I would have said, " You should just pretend that I would sleep with you anyways to just get it over with so you can be self achieved because that is all you are worth anyways". Or what would be even more direct, " you should just demonize me anyways so you can be the hero, so I can get back to my day whilst you cease to find any certain importance playing the hero and devolve into pure insanity." As if the person could understand complex sentences like these by her pantry highschool education which was not worth shit due to a racist system that alludes most for being a great problem to a community. I think this girl just wanted some white dude but really much; I don't know who would want her a literal person who is so far from any source of white dudes as they don't exist so much in plentiful quantity on the people of color side of town. She was at the wrong school and even then most of the dudes that could even be considered normal mostly and likely would not understand her culture of hatred towards black people when they just for being white does not mean they are racists.  To be in sum all she would get is the lot of the racist folk who would find her attractive. No one with self respect would want to be with someone so mentally idiotic in their whole world learning that its so white and black. Someone so ugly to wish to contribute a change into a person for the better but only cause an addition to harm and gravely so. Why would anyone want a person who is antagonistic and is violent in this passive aggressive way for no reason but to absolve their self hatred and yet fail greatly. For which to be said white people are so looked up upon by certain people who are deprived of knowledge of their humanity for the good and the bad-that if they were truly to meet these false gods; the false gods would already know what they are and reject them anyways or just use them in a way that they would not wish or like and come to regret.

I am to say some people have nothing but love for rage and sensationalism when ever especially they serve to gain nothing from it all. What's so ironic is that they were speaking about a simple english 1 essay that was due and they acted as if the world was over aka when they were speaking with their friend. I just really much am to say, if they were only a good person-I could have helped them but no they wanted to act as if they knew what I was capable of but really had no clue. None. I mean a person took english 1 at an actual college and really much could have helped them but that door closed for them they dare act as if I was a plague. I really don't care what happened to them but all I know from experience is that those kids. Those fucking kids from these minority impoverished highschools don't have the skills to succeed writing that college essay especially if they could not even be accepted to any real college. Its to be said, stupid does as stupid do and if there is shit-its shit on them and no me. I just did not take any real victory from this minority person not getting ahead but just thinking how the poison of " white purity" poisoned them from even reaching a sum of anyone who could have helped them. I don't mean to preach as if a church but I am sure one of those wife cheating pastors would say, " never look down on people because you don't know who will assist you". This person just for the sake of being a bigot simply could not find help they needed to succeed and thought too much of theirselves to even ask for help. I do say even if they; the college truly did not have the resources and good people to even do that no matter what front they put up as I remember going to their tutor place and being belittled and it really not helping anything aside from me making changes that actually helped get a better grade than the tutors could even know.

Its to be said that eventually my friends, all speculative bubbles burst and really much-it burst for that girl Debbie not when I left out into the rain but whenever they finally realized if not the semester after or years after; they would realize it was done completely. There would be nothing. There would be no sex. There would be no me and especially there would not even be knowing me to even have such a sex they even desired to dismiss me as a person but as some criminal.  There would be no great entitlement to me and some sort of stable but yet unstable life of independence where I could be the "abuser" and they the raiser of children that would be had from any situationship. I think that enough they would eventually realize that I was not ever going to do anything at all and it was all them and all in their heads. All this compounded when they realize they are still in the community college system, have given up or even gone to a four year college and realized a missed opportunity from the reality they encountered therein. I think that they just tried to push me into a corner and image I wasn't and I really much am to say they did not have the skills to even reach that four year college option outcome but let me just say a person does not know what became of them but I pretty much can understandably know what did. When the bubble bursts a person realizes what was there can never be gotten back and much enough anything they thought of being a future is now forfeit.

Imagine putting that energy into making futures that you will never allow to even be good in the first place but a dismissal of a person's humanity. That you make to dismiss the good a person has to offer if not their valid indifference to you and anything you want to achieve romantically through them. Imagine putting effort into something that was never even possible from the start when the person was not going to do any wrongdoing but just minding their damn business. But that is to be said if a person could think, they would forsee this but no people love pure rage-to be outraged and then find some justification for it. All illusions of justification eventually go away when reality sets in and the bubble is gone and so is the person. So are many people, many opportunities and a person is just stuck with one individual who actually is what they fear but are too self indulgent in theirselves to even care about the true reality then.