A person does marvel.

 A person does marvel at how far they have actually come and really much I think looking back on things; that really much a person was asking the world to contribute into them when people are generally not even savant to accept their humanity first. Its like asking barbarians to write a newspaper. For real. I think that pretty much I am to say that a person could write about all sorts of people and the art that they do but it really does not matter for the simple reason that a person has higher standards about life and creativity if not goals more than many people. So many people set their goals so little and barely do anything. I rather not draw energy from these people.

I look at the modern internet and its a disaster for artists. Some people just have to realize that the people they look up to on the internet are just people and people placed on a pedestal behind likes and hearts and internet persona. I think pretty much some people who are big names on the internet just fail to do things they want to do because they lack the will to even try to attain these things. I really am to tell you they also lack the mental prowess to even endear these things to be and self belittle theirselves behind the age old adage that "artists are stupid". Lol, I really don't want to look up to these people and foremost I really find it hard to appreciate art online when everything on there is just a circle jerk to pop culture ideas, fast consumer driven art and really much a groupthink that people can either fit in or don't. People have such a monopoly on online art; I have found better luck in efforts that are off these social media channels. Gee, everyone acts like its easy to be renowned and be paid for art on social media but that's literally only if you draw a certain anime style, have certain political beliefs or an apathy for it and morals at all, effortless demean yourself in that "artists are stupid" and literally leap at the algorithm and trends like a damn slave. I have observed "artists" be their worst! Just for 6 years literally have seen the depravity and decline of artists as they leap at game, leap at trend and just make things that are only for slow gained or high gained internet points if not limited relevancy from these efforts. Alas, my friends I am to tell you that these people online majorly can get caught up in their own untrue image of superiority and internet stardom to think they can act whatever and however. Some of these such "great artists" are absolute downers, idiots and people who cannot be bothered to learn past their limits and not make excuses if not learn about the world other than them. Other people are just people but in my experience these people are just rare. I think that really much I have basically ever more skills and tact than many artists but because I am not a slave to the algorithm and make fan art and doubt myself and just trap myself in a box; I must not be worthy of the funds.

I like to refresh people that I will never create glossy art. I am so much older than many people who add into the circle jerk of things. I have more experience but yeph, treated like an eyesore online. I think that you have a problem whilst no one can have discipline to focus on one thing for a time, people hate creators older than 25 and show their age, and pretty much free thought, respect for yourself and ambitious efforts are frowned upon. I am not trying to make one comic-I am trying to make many and really much there is no one artist who compares to this energy out there and actually is even trying to do it. They excuse this and excuse that and they just make a mockery of what people should be doing behind art and settle for anime trends, trends and just something always overtly consumer based.

I did try streaming in 2021, but I hated it. The people watching me as I drew and the disrespect of people just leaving it when it was not entertaining enough. I really am to say I could not give two fucks about streaming at all now. I only liked it for how it was easy to record the things I was doing really much but really I don't have any allies online but dumb dumb haters who really have no philosophical mind and are but people who are barbarians who are hyper and get dizzy and gizzy on trends and hyper shocks of internet drama! I tire of this shit. I wonder how in the fuck people stand up in front of a screen and just play a videogame for a bunch of people when people are spiteful and people are genuinely out of their fucking minds. I will never be dumb and just so hyper bent to follow anything. I mark this by not changing the theme of MK MZODERN for many months aka a year almost now. I think that taking a time to get things right is pretty much better than speeding around for people who don't give a fuck about your work and what? Give a fuck about you!

I go to Twitter everyday and who gives a fuck. I really don't give a fuck. Not anymore. Anytime I post much these days, its just 1 or 2 views and whatever nude model and whatever dizzy gizzy artist gets so much more. I am to say that really much will not be rushed to be hyper and ahead of myself and really much be impulsive, stupid and just immoral. I have to say that there is more to be demanded online. Like literally, people are so uncivil that friends cannot even be made and people give dumb excuses. Social anxiety? The fuck could you mean when you are behind a computer quite the fuck literally and literally just have to type in "you don't want to be speaking to people" instead of ghosting them. 

The people online expect you to be a clone of you especially in these really obscure niches online aka blacktober for one. These people seem to think they are the best direction for empowerment to a social cause but really do just more harm than good by distancing theirselves from people who are similar to them by race but don't agree with their tactics and expect everyone to think of their way as a solution against online racism. Let me tell you, I will not give my energy to recreate other people's characters as black people in the most arbitrarily dumb and self loathing ideologies that really never make use of the character even being black people. So many people just figured it would be the solution to just think this was the ultimate solution against racism when its not. I just am to say these people were and are so damn hostile against people who don't share their own degree of conviction behind the believe of this cureall that a person can just be glad there are racists to prove their ideals as shit! Think of that! These people make me grateful for racists.

There have been people who have stolen my ideas and shifted them to shift from blame especially when I was kind to even be nice to them and their social engagement posts. It has soured my mentality greatly from ever speaking to artists online. I would say I have had good interactions with the art called Loish and others who are humble. But there are fake humble artists who pretend to be good people when they are shitty people who will still your ideas if you ever dare try to be friendly with them in their social engagement posts. Lord Gris would be one of these people, lifting the first adversary of Zino Flyboy for her art because it was similar in theme; angel girl and all and the skin was brown just like the character! Not only this but Lord Gris has similarly been accused of theft by Honey and Abstinthe even though that was retracted. You can see that you cannot trust people online because they are artists and art personalities.

I just am to say that you should not expect me to be a net personality when I am barred from ever becoming such at all by the level of groupthink that occurs. Until I make it big; no one will give a fuck about what I do in the larger picture of things on these social media platforms. I am to say that I am a real person with real problems and issues and not just fucking shit of wanting to follow trends, algorithms of youtube, instagram, tik tok or twitch. I will not be rushed to a conclusion but will effortlessly reason on things to their appropriate level of consideration and thought. I just don't want to return to streaming at all when it just run by undisciplined and hyper folks who just switch to the next thing and betray their previous conviction to stay focused on something to get good just to be popular and follow trends.