No one can be but a bitch.

 Looking back recently on things in the past; realize greatly how many things you believed were just silly. Things you thought you need to do that were not to be taken seriously and just clown things in nature. To think that you were going to get anything out of women in any place would be a fucking joke. I am not to be sexist here but seriously certain people don't have my level of goals or level of achievement and mostly frown down or underachieve in things I highly value. I am to say a woman could be an artist but they certainly would not even have the same level of damn goals or even metrics. Its just best to leave certain people alone to chase whatever linear self pitying path they have in mind for theirselves. Believe me; I have tried to move some people off a self doubting trail but they are more apt to hate you for even trying to push them forward to a better healthy lifestyle. Its to be said; I don't think higher of myself than people but many people bring shit down onto theirselves. They have these real idealized and stupid views about things. Remember the whole thing where people think native americans peacefully ever engaged in some fanciful feast with the colonists? Many people still like to believe indoctrinated lies that real people can utterly disprove by even fucking living and breathing. Its to be said when you have one group of people so adamant in disrespecting the lives of others believing indoctrinated bullshit; you can never be with that person. Some people will hate the life that you have lived your very life and lives many people live. I am to say that education of higher just endears idiots who never lived a lick to think they have control over many people.

Hate art, why? Because others tell you its bad for your A academia party life? I would not believe people would be so shallow if I had never seen it for myself. The people will never do it to know it and really don't care which is so ironic when they are in such a place of civility like education am I right? To admonish something because you are purely ignorant; I am sure that is the true spirit of higher education actually. To only know certain things so you can gain a certain class to piss on everyone else not fortunate, privileged, corrupt and evil nor dogmatic to follow bullshit.

Hate different people, why? Because its bad for your little cultures that no one by the end of the day gives a fuck about if you are going to be racist as some KKK member/Nazi. Fuck your foods and your customs when at the end of the day you are worse than any racist white person could ever be. I mean to say; at least you know a certain enemy but some people of other cultures try to hard to distance theirselves from a people of "perceived filth" by the media and spoonfed lies from their utterly instrinctic benefiting mindsets. Oh yes, come to America but no one will go to the middle east or africa to study any shit and that's the truth because ardently people aren't so welcoming over there. I am to say that I have heard people talking about me. Whispering about me. Trying to harm me through their words for their own hubris and enjoyment and I think that its so bad higher education lets these people believe they have such a control over the people of the world and never gain any sanity that they have no control over anyone. Their beliefs are just all transactional. 

Hoping that if they put others down they will reach the top and you know what that make many people, white or whatever fucking culture; just fucking peons. Ironic that peons just sounds like their behavior to "pee on" others. I am to say that if they hoped not to get any perceived "engineering" higher society credits would people even be racist in the first place? They would because they believe to the end that the only think there is to escape the poverty level is higher education majoring in the science or academic fields and really thinking not of a life but the ambitions of what some jobs can give. But truly;ignoring treating other people and theirselves well and ignoring their true ambitions so you know they will live terrible lives just so they can a feigned idealism of success that is only important to a certain group of people who hate others pure and pure. Like tell me why do some asians think the only way for a certain type of social attainment is to date a white dude and thus a painful racist fetish emerges in great circles of academia and the net. Don't tell me it does not exist when I have seen it with my own eyes. I perhaps even nearly dated such a person who viewed white people as a means to higher social status and attainment but black people as a means of being placed in the deep ghetto. Its so fucking pathetic these behaviors are allowed in education when they are just lies. Lies like the fucking shit that on the first thanksgiving natives actually had a feast with colonists and it was all good. So good the colonists genocided their people to a great deal. I am sure education is smart enough to measure these happenings but it does nothing to stop them but it endears them by saying nothing and many times supporting them.

I come out to say that I find it stupid that I ever thought anyone in higher education could have been anything helpful when they don't even live as the same respect a grocery worker lives with it or just enough don't care about truly enlightening their lives but following an arbitrary route that does not ever guarantee a happy life, a one of success or even a life where they actually have skills in which they can do anything for theirselves and even better the world. I would say something here but I will leave that part censored; it regards the asset the academic type thinks too highly of theirselves to learn things that are unacademic in their brainwashed idealisms which ironically would allow them to live their lives freely and maybe just be their own boss. Such to be said folks is that I just realize so recently how much of a fool you would be to believe that a bunch of brainwashed people could ever but albeit be an nuisance and aide the real devils of society and just things you worked hard to avoid. Let me tell you; the best thing I ever did in college was never to give any woman really any time, to never engage in sex and never to really take people so seriously when in the end they show their true colors. People who are incompotent to even realize that everyone in the world will not follow this brainwashed immature abitary role of why they are in education. For your parents? Why? I am to say that I will not even go to the length of immature some people will always be and I don't have to necessarily go into details of how shitty some people just are by their whole means of higher educational motivation. You see them every day and most of them don't treat people well. Not everyone who goes to college is an asshat I assure you but I am to say there are some people who don't deserve degrees or lives where they can stiplate they are better than other people and carry on racist ideals. I am just to say that truly I was a fool to even tolerate any people at all who indeed just hate people like me. I mean it; these people were just the antithesis of me. 

There are some bare minimal things a person should even tolerate. I am to say that if you cannot respect that everyone is not some brainwashed, self depreciating or dumbass; maybe you just aren't the most civilized person. While the school you go to will give you a honorary trophy for being there and doing "well" it really means nothing when all you learned was to reinforce idealisms that don't help anyone  socially succeed. Just have such false ideas about people not matter how political correct or reading these magazines or whatever; you can say that certain people have greatly distanced theirselves from real people and just made people out to be creatures and things. I come to realize that when people cannot even accept you nor anyone else; its telling of who they are and just how destined they are by their brainwashed beliefs to intercede into your personal life, values, works and just anything of a quality life. So let me say this; a person comes to you with this because they have learned through many experiences you can hope for delightful dreams that someone will love you but alas when people truly are just minions of the night and racists by the day what can you do and what you can you say. They will always pick the side that is anti black, against the artists, respecting you, your endeavors, freaking space of your sexual nature which aims to never be demonized and just will believe the worst about you and any future with you. I don't think anyone wants to live with a person who thinks that they foremost live in a slum, a ghetto and will make them live in a ghetto. I think I have to spell it out. They think of you as some burden which is going to onset burden their future professional lives. That you will just be raising their children because you are so interested in them as if they are the most pretty women of all( when I will say that most people are pretty average or under average really). That you are inferior. Dreaming the great dreams about you only for them to be inferior. I have seen that in a great number of women from fall 2013 to fall 2019 aka the last time of normalcy. You know its fucked up when all people can do is dream of you but never realize the real you and just placate their racist and twisted idealistic ideas upon you because they refuse to confront reality. Its not as if I plan out the next ten years with some person I just barely know anything about but tons and tons of women do and many just scare theirselves shitless. Never giving any thought to what I think or even if I would ever consent to these ideas which many of them are pure hatred against me and a whole slew of people.

 I don't think anyone wants to live with a person who makes these batty eyes at you and then reverts to a norm such the prior where they imagine the worst about you and then coward out of even being with you. Never wanting to put in the real work to even be with you despite seeing something. I do say however why would want to be with a person who is essentially crazy and just imagines a world for their own self benefit and just makes you a tool for their own self benefit. Never did I ever make anyone a tool for my own self benefit. I think its juvenile when you are past 18 and want to dream about a life with a person who you don't even know to a degree that is harmful and disrespectful to them. You don't know much about black people? Don't fill in the gaps with racist ideas if you ever want to be with such a person. Presumptious would be a lower word for such people. Purely hateful and twisted are the people. People who realize they if good could love you but their heart beats that racism and evil are the good things in life and that they are justice. You deserve these things. You don't.

I earlier tried to appease some people by going out of my way for them and really much all they could do was not even have any empathy but expect something unrealistic and just wanted to really indulge in theirselves and really not even embrace another person. People so vain they would date theirselves. People who cannot understand they helped injure you and if you forget their hair color its probably because of them. Doing so much to appease people and they just take it all for granted because they live really privileged and understandably weak virtue lives where they never have to consider anything of what they do and their efforts into anything because they are bad people.

I am to say that in general its better to not bother with people who are in an environment that is toxic and really are like cult members are so far from normal people. Of course there were normal people in the environment but ergo your chances of getting anything normal as in normal society is limited when the cult is frankly in secret and in public out against you and people like you. No one can be but a bitch. The male and the female. And if any girl is there; you surely cannot reach her either you are shy, afraid of knock backs and just so vehemently hated by a culture that the other person would be scared from even speaking to at all. I realize how fucked up it is to just be place into a mess that higher education has brew and you have no recourse to not harm anyone at the end of the day by getting them involved into the mess of hatred around you. Targets set upon you that are hard to knock off. You cannot be happy in higher education much enough least you are lucky to not have a toxic atmosphere like a waking cult.

In the end you don't need people who are toxic or will adhere to it or block others from being with others.