This maybe hard to read for the lotus eaters

 I was taking a walk in the park and I was thinking how my 7th grade teacher got into a fight with this other PE teacher. The thing was they were both math teachers and pe teachers. They were both friends. I realized how it all went wrong. When I was in 8th grade; dude said," they got into a fight because the other dude slept with the 7th grade teacher's wife. I was shocked. But I just like to think in 2005 when I went to 5th grade was a very hard time in one's life and yet you got people even black people from the kids, to the teachers and religious folks trying to placate theirselves that you as a black person are a nothing, a ghetto nothing and ultimately deserve to not succeed in school but to be infringed with the very worst. 

When my parents moved me from the regular classes to the AP one, it was like you were not a cattle anymore. The thing is that same 7th grade teacher was literally my homeroom teacher in 5th grade and the only person who did not try to belittle or berate me. I just have to say it sad, that this dude who never treated me like a lesser human was done so terribly. In the end they both relocated to different schools. It was a falling out that did not happen in front me but it does not mean it did not happen. I come to you to say onto you just because you did not see it does not mean it never happened.

 In that note, many women try to speculate what happened to me in the past I was not at the school. They could have let's say some insight but never full insight. In 2015, it truly was a hard time and I am going to be real- it's like a fallout like you would not believe. How dare these women think they could disrespect me in this manner. Yea, I am calling you out.

You see with the goal I was going for do you think that literally you can do whatever and everything gets done?! No, you are wrong. It takes discipline and ultimately many things I could not do it felt like an absolute risk to do was to even speak with women my own age because literally are so suspectable to being controlled in the same way these other peeps already have been. Fall 2016 would mark a turn in everywhere you try indoctrination is a norm but I am going to focus on women from a college circuit instead.  Like honestly, there is no mature relationship where women respect your craft and they have their own lives and own thing as people should but no; you got to come after me! For on quote in your deluded mind," having or possessing something a black person should not" just so you can lord around thinking you girl boss. 

Bruh, you are no girl boss anything. You want to be controlled, want to be property, pimped out by an old insane Indian lady and refuse to think for yourself but this racist shit. Lol. You are the boss of your destiny thinking that you better than me who must be cattle. I just have had to have a private laugh about that truly!  What goes on in your mind that you think some parasocial relationship is better than actually a real one with real people! This better than being  with a self made celebrity who is only such because she makes herself out to be the case with people who are 17/18 years old! Alas, such geniuses who think they surely know everything and even me and that 2005 past as if it never happened because into them it never did. Like you are stupid. Dumb. Racist. Proud of it and think it gives you unalienable rights to deny a dude any recourse but what you want to happen onto then just to appease what you think should happen. You are not truly trying to live in equality. You are not.  You are people who really think you are so ahead for just maligning education but you are dumb, racist and insidious people and ultimately I don't want people to think I am talking about them just because they lived in that dorm but yet the bad ones know what they are and what they have done. 

Basically I am saying you just cannot have a normal life this. It's like these people don't want to understand what they are doing is wrong. Think that black people are lessers and it's right to treat them like this or have ingrained self hate. Ultimately having these people around is like having entitled raccoons who accidentally get in your house, destroy it and won't leave. Imagine having a life and all your memories and these bastards just come to try to rewrite it to suite their racist needs. Just to praise this pseudo celebrity. In the end of the day they will never do anything worthwhile with their lives and convinced theirselves they had by being racist. You think people need you? No! That is only what the big dawg tells you. I never uttered a fucking thing and you reassured yourself in that plenty. Lol 😅.  I just want to take a step in their shoes. You know I quit the blog in fall 2015 realizing all this. That it was always too good to be true in this world that had that 2005. In this world that has slavery that anyone would give a fuck. I had many things planned to write but I never did any of them in public,why? Because you would likely do anything for your parasocial relationship and I really did not want to incur something greater. But I now don't give a fuck. It should not be too hard to write a day by day analysis as a racist. Next method to study, put yourself in black shoes. Or rather in this case, people who think it's right to disrespect you and pretend they love you. Oh, you never did.